Chapter 3 – Coming Together
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Luke had maybe gotten a couple days into the kissing evolution with his chemistry experiment when things changed, not that he immediately noticed it. He liked kissing Bobby, who was funny and good looking and cared about him, liked being close to him and being curled up in his lap. Luke especially liked making him flushed and then kissing that dazed look away, liked it when Bobby curled his fingers through Luke's hair as though to stabilize him, when Bobby deepened the kiss with a confidence that steadily grew the more they practiced.
They were in Bobby's desk chair that time, because that was where Luke could straddle Bobby's thighs, where he could scoot himself close and Bobby would curl his hands around his hips and it felt so good he didn't have words for it, couldn't even invent a song that didn't sound terribly insufficient or juvenile – not that it stopped him from trying. He'd figure something out eventually, he had faith in himself. Until then, he'd be happy to keep practicing with Bobby until he could find just the right words.
It was something Bobby was more than happy to help with, at least until Luke rocked forward a little too hard and seemed to make Bobby go all tense, the other guitarist pulling away with a weird look.
"You okay?" Luke asked, letting his hands curl around Bobby's shoulders, pressing his lips together so he could savor the hint of salt and chapstick Bobby had left behind.
"Yep," Bobby said, but he wasn't looking him in the eye. "I just um- need a minute."
"Cool, cool, cool," Luke said, running a distracted hand through his hair. "You need me to get off? I could got get us some water or something."
"That would be great," Bobby said, mustering a small smile, and maybe Luke had gotten too heavy or something, maybe he was crushing the other teen's legs and he was just too nice to say anything. That would be such a Bobby thing to do.
It wasn't until Luke was scooting back that he realized what the actual problem was, and that was mostly because of the reflexive once-over he'd given Bobby to see if he was hiding any like, secret wounds.
Which, he wasn't. He just had um- other problems.
Luke lost a few seconds staring dumbly at the bulge between Bobby's legs, confused as to how it had gotten there at all for what was probably way too long.
Bobby tensed. "Sorry."
"It's cool, dude," Luke said, shoving away his confusion because that was Bobby's sad voice, and it would not stand. "That's like a um- natural response, right?"
Luke wouldn't know, it never really happened to him all that much. The guys in the locker rooms would go on and about how they'd have to beat off like, all the time, but Luke only ever had to do it once or twice a week. He just figured it was a biological thing. He'd never gotten worked up with any of the girls he'd kissed, but he figured that was because he didn't know them very well.
"You're not worked up," Bobby pointed out.
"Yeah, but that never happens to me," Luke said, waving him off with an easy smile. "Maybe I just have like, super good control. Either way, it's not a big deal." He hopped off Bobby's lap. "I can get us water if you want to like, take care of that or whatever."
Bobby dragged a weary hand across his face, hiding the unreadable expression he'd been wearing before. "I'll be fine in a few minutes," he said, and either he was super fast or- oh, he was just going to calm himself down.
"Cool," Luke said, and then he ducked out into the hall, hoping Bobby wouldn't feel too awkward. Luke would hate to contribute to that.
But like, maybe there was a small part of him that seemed excited by this. He wasn't sure why, but there was the weird flutter in his stomach again – the same one he got now that Alex was letting them cuddle him once more. He had a feeling it was dangerous despite how utterly benign it seemed.
He was still thinking about it when he returned to Bobby's room, and sure enough, the other teen was fine, graciously accepting the water bottle Luke handed him.
"So…" Bobby began awkwardly, fiddling with his bottle. "Would you prefer not to kiss anymore?"
For a second, Luke panicked. He liked the kisses a lot, but this was about more than just him. Bobby mattered too, and he couldn't be selfish. "I um- I mean, if you don't want to anymore, we don't have to."
Bobby tilted his head to the side, doing that thing where he silently stared into Luke's soul. "I thought maybe you might not want to," he explained quietly. "Since you don't get worked up."
"I don't get what one has to do with the other," Luke replied honestly. "I like kissing you."
Something in that made Bobby's expression soften, had him going from all big, bad, and serious to soft and happy, the way he should be. "I like kissing you too," Bobby admitted, making Luke positively glow with happiness. "Come on, why don't we stick to cuddling for the night?"
"Sounds good to me," Luke chirped.
He didn't get a lot of Bobby bed cuddles, but they were just as good as any other kind, and he would gladly take them.
And if Bobby pressed a chaste kiss to his lips when they settled in, maybe that stilled the rapid beating of Luke's heart far better than he could have ever managed on his own.
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When Luke drifted towards coherence, it was with a smile on his lips, though he wasn't entirely sure why. He couldn't really remember what he'd been dreaming about, and still felt heavy from sleep, like he could go back under at any moment. That happened a lot when he had company in his bed like he had then, a warm form clinging to his side, using him as an anchor. As shelter in a storm.
The idea made Luke grin. He liked being someone else's rock. It was like he got to be their Bobby.
He couldn't remember what brought him to this point, though there were vague recollections. A gig, a late night – ducking back to his own house for once in an effort to appease his parents rather than staying with Bobby like he would have preferred. There was something else in there too, something important, but Luke couldn't remember what it was. It'd come back to him in the morning.
It only took a few seconds for Luke to realize why he was smiling, the soft feel of lips lightly pressing against his cheek unmistakable as anything other than a kiss. The mouth seemed to linger, then shifted, grazing Luke's jaw.
Nice.
"Bobbin?" Luke breathed, balancing precariously on the cusp of consciousness and blessed, beautiful sleep. "…Bobby?"
Distinctly, he thought he registered the body cuddled against his side tense up before the lips pulled away altogether. "Go to sleep," the voice – Bobby, he guessed, even though it was pitched too high – soothed, combing careful patterns in Luke's hair.
He didn't need to be told twice.
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Things changed. That was a natural part of life, Luke just hadn't been ready for this particular change.
He and Bobby were making out, Luke feeling light and happy because Bobby had one hand settled at the base of his skull, and as good as the inadvertent scratches were, Luke was mostly pleased by the way Bobby used that grip to angle his head so effortlessly. It allowed them to have deeper kisses, a connection that sent a thrill of heat through Luke's chest, settling low in his core.
He hadn't realized how affected he'd become until he found himself inadvertently grinding forward and felt a spark of need settle between his legs, leading him to the shocking realization that he was hard.
He didn't remember scrambling off Bobby's lap but he must have, because in the next moment he was shoved in the small space between Bobby's dresser and his bed, his knees drawn up to his chest and breath coming too fast.
"Come on, breathe with me, Luke," Bobby was saying, had likely been repeating based on the way his brows were all furrowed. "In two-three-four, out two-three-four."
"Bobby," Luke wheezed when he managed to get his lungs to cooperate. "I um- I don't-"
"You got aroused," Bobby said, the other teen watching his expression carefully, like he was afraid Luke would throw himself out the window or something.
Now Luke was afraid of himself doing that. "Yeah," Luke panted. "That doesn't usually happen."
Bobby took a moment to process this, proceeding cautiously because that was who Bobby was at the end of the day – someone who went forward with care. "It doesn't usually happen with guys, or…"
"With other people, I mean," Luke clarified. "Like when I kiss those girls at parties and stuff, it doesn't- I don't-" His breath started getting shallow again, so he focused on holding it together, not wanting to fall into another panic attack when Bobby was being so kind an understanding. Like, that was just who Bobby was, and he honestly wouldn't care if it happened again, but Luke would. "…do you think I'm gay?"
At that, Bobby seemed to settle in properly, like he thought this was going to be a long conversation. Luke wasn't sure if that was comforting or not. "Have you ever been aroused by other guys?"
"No?" Luke offered, trying to think about it. "I don't think so."
There was that one time with Alex after they'd gotten caught in a sudden downpour, they'd been changing into dry stuff – but the blond had been like, down to his boxer briefs and soaking wet and it was also Alex, who was unquestionably a stud.
"Maybe I'm bi?" Luke tried. "I um- got worked up a lot when I had that huge crush on Julie."
Man, had that made junior high awkward. Luke was glad they'd settled into being best songwriting bros for life, it was a dynamic that worked way better for them.
"Maybe it just depends on the person," Bobby offered, making Luke pause.
Of all the things bouncing through Luke's brain, that seemed like it fit the best. It wasn't like Luke wanted to ogle every hot guy and lady that came their way, but the band… well, that was different. He knew how awesome they were, of course his body registered that in like, a carnal sense. That was just natural, probably.
"Maybe I'm cool-people-sexual," Luke said, and it was worth it for the small grin it earned him. The more he thought about it, the more it fit. "Yeah, that sounds perfect." They lost a moment grinning at each other like total loons – because of course Luke would make a big thing out of nothing, that was classic him. "Sorry for freaking out."
"You don't have to apologize for that," Bobby said as he helped Luke out of his hidey hole. "You were surprised."
"It's just never happened before," Luke said. "It felt good, though. Does it always feel that good for you?"
Just like every other time he asked Bobby about the way he got worked up when they chemistried, the other teen's cheeks colored in a dark flush.
"Yeah, Luke," he admitted quietly. "It does."
"We should do something about it next time," Luke decided. "I don't know what, but that could be fun."
"Maybe," Bobby hummed, which wasn't no, at least, not yet. "Come on."
They settled in for bed cuddles, Bobby pulling out his phone so they could listen to a new indie band Alex had tracked down for them.
It wasn't quite as good as kissing, but it was still, without question, nice.
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The thing about realizing he was cool-person-sexual compared to when he didn't know he was cool-person-sexual was that Luke's band was comprised of the coolest people he knew, who had a tendency to do things that were now very distracting for Luke's sexual awakening.
It was sort of like a switch had been flipped inside his brain. Like, he knew the guys were objectively good looking because Flynn and Julie had told him as much, but now it was like Luke knew this in his bones. He'd see Alex running his fingers through his shiny hair and wish he could be the one doing that for the blond, or Reggie's cheeks would get all flushed from jumping around and he'd waste three seconds thinking about how much he wanted to kiss them, or Bobby would be Bobby and like, get them all hot chocolate as a surprise because they'd all had long days, and Luke had to fend off the desire to bodily throw himself at the rhythm guitarist and start kissing his breath away.
It was very distracting. Luke sort of wished he wasn't cool-person-sexual at all.
The good news was that it seemed to only extend to the band and not the rest of his friends, but the bad news was it was his band. His bandmates were his most favorite people in the universe. He didn't need to start having wet dreams about them (which was just- that was new, so new and freaky but also really nice and how was Luke supposed to look Alex in the eye when he thought about the guy doing that).
Suddenly, Luke had a new hurdle when Reggie spent the night, because what if he had a wet dream then? Reggie never had wet dreams, but Reggie also waited until he was dead on his feet to show up. Maybe Luke just needed to be exhausted too, so he started working out more just before bed, trying to tire out his body so he wouldn't risk making Reggie uncomfortable. He couldn't do that to the bassist. He deserved sleep and totally safe cuddles and to not have some creeper staring at the way he bit at his lips, making them all cherry-red and shiny.
Ugh, he felt like such a spaz. He didn't even know what to do about it.
"Are you okay?" Bobby asked quietly when it was their turn to load up the van after a gig – Alex and Reggie networking with the crowds for once. Usually that was Luke's job, but they all must have noticed how off he was because Alex and Bobby had shared a single look and now Luke was hiding out in the back of the van, arranging wires.
"Um." Luke twisted his hands together, trying not to think of the way his heart seemed to thump so quickly when he and Reggie were sharing a mic, or the way the crowd had gone crazy for Alex's drum solo, the blond grinning wide when he was given the adulation he was due. He tried not to think of the steadying hand Bobby kept pressing against his lower back, the way he'd angle himself between Luke and anyone who drifted too close because he knew Luke wasn't up for talking right now.
Being cool-person-sexual really was the worst.
"I'm just tired," Luke decided, fumbling with an amp so he could put it away properly.
"Okay," Bobby said, no judgement in his tone. "But um- if this had anything to do with that thing you realized-"
"Bobby," Luke interrupted, knowing he was whining because he'd probably made it obvious. Like, Luke had said we should do something about it but then any time either of them got worked up he just sort of froze, and it ended with bed cuddles and music or Netflix or even Facetime with Alex (Reggie didn't like them calling when he was home) and the unspoken implication that Luke had somehow messed things up.
"It's not a big deal," Bobby said, and to his credit, he seemed to mean that. "Seriously Luke, it's not. It's perfectly natural."
"It's distracting," Luke huffed, giving up on rearranging their gear and settling himself in the back of the van, letting his legs hang out the doors. "I just want to get through a performance without like, wanting to kiss each of you."
Bobby paused, his expression one of neutral consideration. "Each of us?"
"The band," Luke clarified. "It's just- it's just you guys."
"Huh," Bobby said, thinking it over.
Luke wished he could just melt into the ground. "It's just- you're all really cool-"
Bobby cut him off with a kiss, and though it hadn't been that long since the last one, it felt like a thousand years had passed and Luke was finally coming to shore, the singer fumbling for Bobby's vest and getting one of his hands tangled in his suspenders.
Luke melted into the contact, something that felt so wonderfully grounding and reassuring compared to the growing chaos in his mind, and when Bobby finally pulled back, it was a fight not to whimper, Luke missing the contact almost immediately. He'd always shied away from love songs, but when they broke apart, Luke found himself honestly getting lost in Bobby's gaze – and this wasn't- obviously this wasn't romance – but it still meant a lot. There was reverence here, a definite weight that Luke wasn't sure how to articulate.
He was spared from having to figure this out by a throat clearing off to the side, and both of them turned to see Alex and Reggie awkwardly lingering near the backdoor of the performance venue.
Alex's gaze was all wide – shock winning out over anxiety – but Reggie just looked sort of hurt, his eyes gleaming with a building moisture, his posture hunched – at least what of it Luke could see that wasn't hidden behind Alex.
"Um," Alex began awkwardly, and Luke really wished Bobby would stop being all tense and non-Bobby like. "Are you guys dating?"
"No," Luke said – an automatic reflex, mostly, because they weren't, but then he paused – thought about it. "Are we dating?" he asked Bobby.
The rhythm guitarist seemed to relax somewhat, considering Luke with that same expression of gentle support. "Do you want to date?"
Luke considered this. The only person he'd ever contemplated dating was Julie back in junior high, when he was so very certain that they were going to overtake the world with their awesome song-writing abilities. He'd never considered a relationship beyond that – not when it could distract from the band, but Bobby was part of the band. That was one of the things that made him a cool person among the many other wonderful qualities that made up Bobby Wilson.
Thinking on it, Luke knew that he'd be lucky to date Bobby, even if he didn't know if he himself would be that good a boyfriend. The only problem was-
"What about them?" Luke asked, looking over to Alex and Reggie.
Bobby's expression didn't change. "What about them?"
It wasn't a challenge. It was a genuine, careful question, a probe to help Luke along.
The singer pressed his lips together, wishing there was a way he could better navigate this situation, feeling like he was failing and they were all just expecting him to effortlessly lead the way, like he did with their music.
In the end, he had to go with his gut. "I can't- I don't think I can choose one above the other," he said eventually. "I can't- not just one of you, I…"
And then he realized how unquestionably dumb that was, how stupidly greedy, and that was why Bobby had pulled him aside so many weeks ago. It was to keep him from chasing after fleeting feelings, because if left to his own devices, Luke would only come up with bad ideas.
"I'm sorry," Luke murmured, his voice cracking as a sudden heat built behind his eyes. "That's weird, isn't it? It's dumb-"
"It's not dumb!" Reggie rushed to say, and then he was there, scrambling to sit beside Luke, one arm carelessly thrown around his shoulders. "I like all you guys too!"
"You do?" Luke sniffed, wrapping an arm around Reggie's waist on reflex.
The bassist eagerly leaned into him. "Yeah, we're all pretty great."
"We are," Luke agreed, managing a weak smile.
"I don't- I don't understand," Alex said, and while he drew closer to them, he still seemed to keep his distance. "Are you gay?"
"Luke's demisexual," Bobby replied before Luke had a chance to, which was for the best, since apparently his sexuality had a more official name than 'cool-person-sexual'.
"I'm bi," Reggie offered with a nervous wave of his hand. "I mean- I thought I was straight until you guys but then like- yeah, super bi."
"Bobby?" Alex asked, his tone sounding a bit strained.
Bobby shrugged. "I'm pan, I think," he said. "People are people and they have many attractive qualities."
"Such a Bobby answer," Luke muttered under his breath, and the giggle it earned him from Reggie was so totally worth it.
"What about you, Alex?" Bobby asked, his attention glued to the drummer.
For a moment, Alex just sort of stood there, looking uncertain, but not mad. Just… scared, maybe. Or hesitant.
"I'm um- I'm gay," Alex murmured, his head ducked like he couldn't bear to watch their reactions. "I'm gay."
"That's awesome," Reggie chirped, making Alex startle. "We have so much representation."
"Love is love," Bobby said, and when he offered an arm out to Alex, the blond eagerly leaned into his side, sniffling a little.
Okay, so he'd been worried too – maybe that was why he'd been so uptight lately. He just didn't want to fuck things up, same as Luke.
"So," Bobby spoke up. "Do you guys all want to date?"
"Four people can't date," Alex murmured, but he was smiling, a fond look on his face. "That's not a thing."
"I mean…" Bobby began, holding him closer. "We are Sunset Curve."
Luke was the one that pieced it together. "And Sunset Curve redefines more than just music."
"Damn right," Bobby said, busting out the curse words just for them.
"Do you mean it?" Reggie asked, an open sort of hope in his voice. "Do you guys really want to date me?"
"Fuck yeah, Reggie, you're the best," Luke said, dragging the bassist into his lap because he was never one to shirk Reggie-comforting duties. "Aside from Bobby and Alex, I mean."
"And Luke," Alex added when he and Bobby squeezed in beside them. "So uh- yeah, let's all be boyfriends now."
"Awesome," Luke murmured, hugging Reggie close. "No more making out with random people for me."
Reggie gave him an odd look. "Did you not actually enjoy that?"
"I mean- I didn't hate it," Luke said with a shrug.
Bobby leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek and then, after a moment, repeated the action on Alex and Reggie. "Only kiss people you want to kiss," Bobby murmured. "Assuming they're down for it."
"I'm down for it right now," Reggie volunteered. "I'm-"
Luke wasn't exactly sure how that sentence was supposed to end because with permission like that, obviously he had to kiss Reggie, whose mouth he'd been staring at for so long. He heard Alex let out an annoyed sound of protest that was immediately stifled by Bobby, and he must enjoy kissing their rhythm guitarist as much as Luke did because it didn't take him long to start moaning.
"And this," Flynn began, because at some point she had exited the building and was filming their very touching and life-changing moment for her own personal collection. "Is my surprised face."
"Fuck off, Flynn," Alex muttered, annoyance clear in his tone. "You're ruining the moment."
"I got you that moment," Flynn huffed before leaving with a toss of her braids. "And you are welcome for it."
"I'll buy you pizza later," Bobby promised, and then he went back to kissing Alex, which just like- priorities.
Luke didn't fault him for it, he was eager to turn his attention back to Reggie too.
"Hey Reg," Luke murmured, leaning back just enough so he could catch those flushed cheeks he and Alex liked so much. "We have some pretty awesome chemistry, don't we?"
"Yes, sure, definitely," Reggie agreed in a quick babble, his hands scrambling for Luke's cheeks. "Now kiss me again."
When asked so nicely, Luke wasn't sure how he could deny Reggie, so he didn't.
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Endnotes:
Next week I'll be posting the first chapter of my next JatP fic, 'When It's Meant to Be' – a romantic comedy of errors about some well-intended but ultimately chaotic attempts at matchmaking, so keep an eye out for that if you want some more Luke-centric nonsense ;)
After that, I'll be moving on to some longer fics, though I'm still in the process of editing it all ^_^
Story notes:
I honestly don't know where the shiny hair thing came from for Alex, but apparently Luke feels this is very important, so it must be touched on multiple times :)
Look at me using cool words like 'performance venue' to get around having to say where they actually are, lol.
I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on sexuality. It's complicated and I know there's a difference between sexual desire, attraction, and drive, just like I also know I don't have a full understanding of the scope of these things. In this instance, I believe Luke has a low sex drive and desire, both of those only kindling when he feels a strong sexual attraction towards Bobby, which manifests because of a strong emotional connection to him – which is how/why Bobby claims he is demisexual, which is more or less correct. Just to give some sort of context to Luke's evolution here :)
Until next time
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'I lie back just driftin' and play out these scenes, I ride on the rush of all the hopes, all the dreams. I may be neglecting the things I should do – we've all got our junk, and my junk is you.' – 'My Junk' from the musical Spring Awakening.