Comfort
It was a lame Friday night for Rangiku Matsumoto – no parties on as far as she had heard. Everyone was out tonight – on dates, with friends or getting dresses fit. Everyone but her had somewhere to be or someone to be with.
Rangiku and Rukia had dressed Kiyone up and sent her on her date with Toshiro. She had looked really good, as pointed out by a stunned Toshiro who didn't know what to do with himself when he saw her.
Rangiku had felt a stab, trying to remember the last time someone had looked at her like that.
"I need a wine after all that," Rangiku announced then with a firm clap of her hands – it was after five on Friday, after all, but what she really needed was a distraction. "What are you doing tonight?"
"I have to meet my brother for a dress fitting," Rukia sighed deeply. "We have a family friend's wedding coming up in a few weeks and it's a posh one."
Rangiku couldn't help but laugh at that.
"Well good luck with that," she chuckled, picking up her bag off the couch and swinging it over her shoulder. "Send me a picture of the dress. I'm going to go get drunk."
"Drink extra for me," Rukia muttered, rolling her eyes and Rangiku threw her a wink before heading to the door and slipping out to the hallway.
Thankfully her journey was a short one, only walking down the hall and around the corner to her own dorm. She entered, changed into her lounge wear and grabbed the bottle of wine that was in the fridge.
She sat alone, drinking and online shopping from her phone. She was bored, and her stomach felt queasy to the point that she decided to avoid eating.
Even Rukia's night with her brother would have been more interesting than staying home alone. To be fair, anything fashion related was of interest to Rangiku.
Eventually Orihime came home after finishing her late class, and Rangiku sighed in relief. Her thoughts were loud, but Orihime was louder. She let Rangiku fill her a glass of wine as she cooked them up a feast of packet ramen, which Rangiku felt she could stomach now that she had some company. Orihime even mixed in chocolate through the noodles, as a bit of a Friday treat. It was delicious!
"You seem down tonight, Ran," Orihime commented over her bowl of noodles, from the opposite end of the couch. "Everything okay?"
"Peachy," Rangiku grinned at her, only lying a little. "Just thoughtful! Still not sure if I should message Shuuhei or not."
She was leaning towards yes, to be fair. Seeing Toshiro and Kiyone going off on their date stirred desire in Rangiku she hadn't felt in a while. Still, something didn't feel right about Shuuhei. He seemed nice enough, and those damn arms, but Rangiku wasn't sure they would actually click, personality-wise.
Orihime sighed, chewing on her noodles, her expression turning thoughtful too.
She swallowed and shrugged. "What have you really got to lose? It's just one date to start, right?"
Rangiku held her chopsticks to her lips. That was true.
Just dinner and drinks, maybe a movie or an activity.
Still, she stayed mulling on it for the rest of night, even after Orihime went to bed. She kept checking her phone to see if Toshiro had sent her any updates on his night with Kiyone but he never did. It was late, near midnight, and Rangiku was about to go to bed when there was a knock on the door.
It was Toshiro.
He was all grins and cheekiness when she let him in. He was a little drunk by the looks of things, but stable enough on his feet and coherent to talk to.
"Tell me everything!" Rangiku pulled him over to the couch. Her wine bottle was empty now, which was a shame because wine was the perfect gossip accompaniment.
"It was great," Toshiro grinned. He started to lean over, until he fell against Rangiku's shoulder, before chuckling to himself. "She's so cool and we like all the same stuff, like two for one margaritas."
Rangiku giggled, wrapping her arms around him and letting him rest against her. He sounded happy – drunk but undeniably happy.
"How was the arcade?"
"She beat me on the dance machine," he murmured.
"That's because you can't dance."
"I can too dance, Matsumoto," Toshiro pouted. He couldn't. "And I beat Kiyone on the driving ones… but then she beat me in the shooting games, but I won her a plushie in from the claw machine so I think we're even."
His hand imitated the mechanical claw as he spoke.
"I'm sure," Rangiku smirked. "You'll see her again then?"
"Tomorrow!" Toshiro confirmed excitedly. "She's coming to my game and then we're going to go play mini golf."
Rangiku nodded and swallowed, feeling that jealousy thread tug again. She was hoping she and Toshiro would hang out tomorrow night, maybe out to that new bar around the corner but she would even be happy to stay in and watch one of those geeky superhero movies he liked so much.
"Sounds great," she murmured, patting his shoulder.
It did, to be fair. She had to remember that he needed this, and so she was happy for him because he was happy.
Toshiro hummed, nodding against her.
"I think this could be the start of something good, Matsumoto," he murmured, sounding tired then.
Rangiku squeezed his shoulders. She hoped so – he'd had a hard start to life but she didn't know anyone with a purer heart than Toshiro Hitsugaya. He cared so much, he loved so fiercely. He was always protective of those around him. He was just an all-round good guy – he deserved the best. Rangiku hoped Kiyone would be the best.
Toshiro pulled his head away from her shoulder to grin lazily up at her. His smile was a crooked smirk, indicating his inebriated state, but he looked cute. Rangiku chuckled at him, poking his cheek gently.
"You should go to bed," Rangiku giggled. "Don't you have soccer tomorrow?"
"Yes, but I'm the captain, Matsumoto," he smirked. "I do what I want now."
"Okay, Captain," Rangiku laughed, knowing full well Toshiro would be at the pitch hours before kick-off. He was too disciplined, even when mildly hungover.
Sighing, like it was of huge inconvenience to him, Toshiro pulled away from Rangiku and picked himself up off the couch. He walked towards the door, with a bit of a drunken strut since he was in such a good mood.
He fumbled with the lock for enough seconds for Rangiku to start laughing at him and eventually for her to step in and help him get out.
"Have you got your keys?" Rangiku asked him. "I don't want you getting stuck outside your dorm."
"Got 'em," Toshiro pulled them out of his pocket, and promptly dropped them.
Rangiku swooped to pick them up before he could attempt it, in case he fell over. She pressed them into his hand firmly and sent him a stern look.
When had she become the responsible one out of the two of them? She didn't like this dynamic shift.
He winked at her.
"Goodnight, Matsumoto," he drawled, slipping out of the door.
"Goodnight, Captain," Rangiku chuckled. She stuck her head out the door and watched him go.
He whistled as he walked, dragging his fingers along the wall, but he made it to the stairs without stumbling, so Rangiku had faith he was going to be fine to make it up the two flights to his room.
She sighed as she closed the door, and turned towards the bathroom to get ready for bed herself. Toshiro seemed to have had an amazing first (full length) date with Kiyone. Rangiku was happy for him, she really was – but the unease in her stomach seemed to have flared up again. She felt a little… empty? Maybe she did just need to put herself back out there in the world again.
Halfway through brushing her teeth, she made her choice.
Hopping in bed, she opened her phone, navigating straight to Shuuhei's number and starting a new chat.
Rangiku
Wanna go out tomorrow night?
As Orihime had said, what did she really have to lose?
…
When Rangiku woke in the morning, she had texts from Shuuhei confirming their date plans, and from Toshiro regarding his hangover for the first game back.
Toshiro
Why did you teach me to drink? I was a good boy before you.
Rangiku
You were a good nerd* before me. Now you're a semi-cool one. You're welcome x
Toshiro
Wow, Matsumoto, just wow.
He was due to have his first soccer game of the season after lunch, playing after the women's team that day. Rangiku had organised with Shuuhei to meet him there before they would head out after the game.
Rangiku had hoped she would feel more excited about her date, but honestly she was almost dreading it. She had to remind herself why she was doing it – because she missed the feeling of getting to know someone romantically, because she missed dating and especially sex, because Toshiro was going out with Kiyone again so she needed to spend her Saturday evening with someone, because the new bar had opened and she wanted to check it out while it still had it's opening discounts on, and because she couldn't hide away from men after Gin. She had to get back out there, sooner or later.
She spent the morning drinking her coffee and eating a light breakfast before she started her intensive pre-date beauty regime. She showered, shaving and washing her hair before she got out and blow dried it so it would be just a little wavy. She moisturised all over and plucked her eyebrows. She cut, filed and painted her nails.
By the time she had done her makeup, chosen her outfit and accessories, and packed every useless thing into her clutch, Rangiku was twenty minutes late to Toshiro's game.
She found her friends in the stands and sat with them, texting Shuuhei where she was. Kiyone was there, and she was all dressed up again, this time in Rukia's short red tartan-patterned skirt and a black long-sleeved figuring-hugging shirt. She had the same boots on from last night and a red lip, no doubt also courtesy of Rukia.
She was cheering Toshiro on, who was playing on the field down below and had just scored a goal.
"They're up two-nil already," Orihime told Rangiku when she sat on the end of the group. "Toshiro scored both, but Ichigo and Renji are having good games too. Ikkaku got red-carded ten minutes in."
Toshiro was the striker up front, so he scored most of their goals, but Ichigo played in the midfield and occasionally got one through. Renji was in goals, and looking entirely bored as most of the action was up the other end of the field. Ikkaku played forward too, but had been sent off for an illegal tackle, and Yumichika was cheerleading down on the sidelines with his squad.
Rangiku nodded, but she was trying to overhear Rukia and Kiyone talking about Toshiro on Orihime's other side, but unfortunately Chad was also in between them and it was impossible to see or hear around him.
She heard them giggling though.
"Well, well," Shuuhei's drawl came from Rangiku's other side. "You scrub up nicely for a soccer game."
"Well I have a crush on the mascot," Rangiku replied sarcastically, gesturing to the navy blue dragon running around, trying to hype up the crowd. "I hope he notices me."
As they glanced down to the mascot, who was affectionately known as Hyorinmaru, as it tripped on its feet and fell face first into the mud. Rangiku winced; she knew who was under that costume and it was little Hanataro. He wasn't likely hurt wearing that huge plushie costume, but he must have been embarrassed as the crowd laughed. Beside her, Shuuhei chuckled, and he made a note on his phone – probably for the match report that would go in the Seireitei Bulletin on Monday.
"Well you do look gorgeous," Shuuhei murmured then. "Hyorinmaru must have thought so too. I'm sure that's why he tripped."
Rangiku chuckled and shook her head.
"You're such a flirt."
"Only when it calls for it."
Rangiku continued to shake her head but struggled to purse her lips. Her cheeks were heated.
In all fairness, she did look good. She knew that, otherwise she wouldn't have left the dorm. She wore a white playsuit that was low cut over her chest and tight around her waist, with nude strappy heels and pale pink clutch that matched her lips and nails.
For a few moments they watched the game in silence, clapping as Renji saved a goal from the opposition and Yumichika did the splits to celebrate.
Occasionally, she let her eyes slide to Shuuhei beside her. He looked nice too, to be fair. Grey jeans, black button down. The only problem? His arms were covered up.
Half time hit, and they were forced to make more conversation – which Rangiku realised Shuuhei wasn't the best it, if it wasn't blatant flirting.
"Might rain?" he offered for small talk.
Rangiku glanced up at the grey clouds coming overhead. There was that pre-rain smell and chill in the air. She didn't have an umbrella and her hair was prone to frizzing.
"Hope not," she murmured in return.
Conversational wizards, the both of them.
"I'm thinking of getting a snack," Shuuhei told her, gesturing to the stand SUMA had set up at the bottom of the stands. "Want anything?"
Rangiku shook her head. She couldn't eat before a date or she would look bloated, and she didn't want anything to drink that wasn't alcoholic right now. The second he was gone, Rukia was on her, leaning over Chad to speak.
"You're going out with him?" she asked, eyes lit up.
Rangiku shrugged casually. "Yeah, thought I'd give him a chance."
"Did you hear about Kiyone's date last night?" Rukia smirked, eyes twinkling with cheekiness and mischief. "All that kissing?"
Kissing? Nope, she hadn't heard about that, but damn, her boy was a smooth operator.
Kiyone popped her head around Rukia's then, looking embarrassed but not angry.
"Rukia!" she squealed. "Don't go telling everyone!"
"Oh please," Rukia rolled her eyes. "Rangiku probably already knows. He tells her everything."
That made Kiyone's cheeks go even brighter red, and she looked at Rangiku.
Rangiku smirked and nodded. Toshiro hadn't told her that, but she wasn't about to let Kiyone know it – she was suddenly feeling defensive of her relationship with Toshiro, but she usually did when he met a girl.
"He was pretty drunk when I spoke to him last night," she explained truthfully, "but he was so excited about the date. I think he really likes you."
Rukia swooned and Kiyone covered her face with her hands but it didn't stop them seeing how red it had gotten, or her huge smile.
Rangiku giggled, shrugging and turning back to the game as the players returned to the field for the second half. She was going to have to grill Toshiro about 'all that kissing' later – sneaky bastard. To be fair, he'd been rather inebriated last night so she wasn't surprised she hadn't got the full story out of him.
Shuuhei returned and they chatted about as much in the second half as they did the first half, but Rangiku managed to pass some of the time explaining to Shuuhei how she made friends with everyone. He seemed to have a small group of friends of his own, including shy Izuru from the speed dating night and a few others Rangiku had seen around campus but hadn't met personally.
At full time, Seireitei University won four to one over their rivals, Hueco Mundo University. Toshiro scored a hat trick, and Ichigo actually managed the fourth goal. They came off the pitch in high spirits, and Rangiku and the group filed out of the stands to meet them.
Rangiku refused to hug any of the guys while they were gross and sweaty, at which Toshiro rolled his eyes. Kiyone hugged him though, and Rangiku smirked, noticing the way his arms lingered as they slowly pulled apart.
"Looks like it might rain," Toshiro murmured to her. "Might be a shit day for mini golf."
Kiyone shrugged, "I don't mind getting wet."
That caused Renji to snigger, and Rukia to smack his arm none-too-gently.
Toshiro seemed to fight back the smirk too. "Well we can go to my dorm and I'll shower and change, then we can decide?"
Kiyone nodded enthusiastically as Renji made some sexual remarks before Rukia physically covered his mouth.
Rangiku's smirk wavered a little; she had a feeling she knew where their night was headed. Again, she was happy for him, and her slight unease was purely because she was in a weird place of her own, romantically-speaking. She blamed Gin. Stupid Gin.
"We should go," Rangiku turned to Shuuhei abruptly.
She could just hear Rukia trying to wrangle Renji into skipping the gym and watching a movie with her instead, and then Ichigo inviting himself to it, and Orihime trying to convince him to join her and Chad for dumplings and a game of Twister. Ikkaku and Yumichika were once again kissing heavily.
Shuuhei had nodded, and they set off, waving briefly to the group they were leaving behind.
"They're an interesting group," Shuuhei commented dryly as they walked away.
"Yeah," Rangiku sighed, saying nothing more.
It sounded like they were going to be having interesting nights all round. Rangiku just hoped she could get this nervousness out of her stomach and get some gin and tonic in instead.
…
In short, Rangiku's date with Shuuhei had been awful.
The longer version: It had been painful from start to finish, with Shuuhei becoming more and more awkward to talk to as the night wore on, and Rangiku having less patience for it as each hour passed.
Her unease simmered persistently – she still hadn't found another word to describe the feeling, one that might actually pinpoint her issue so she could work to fix it. The uncomfortable feeling grew worse and worse, and Rangiku found herself constantly checking the time and her phone, unable to sit still. She kept going to the bathroom, to take a moment to get her emotions in check as they bubbled to the surface – poor Shuuhei must have thought she had a UTI… or a drug problem.
"I'm sorry," Shuuhei even apologised at one point, clearly sensing her awkwardness. "I'm better with written words usually. I used to have a stutter, so I grew up more comfortable writing than speaking."
"I should be sorry," Rangiku sighed, feeling like a bit of a bitch now. "I haven't been the best company, I know. I'm usually better at this… It's been a while."
She had swallowed on her words, feeling the dreaded lump in her throat; the crocodile tears were coming. In her defence, she was about four glasses of gin and tonic deep at that point and due her period the next week – she was emotional, okay?
"What happened?"
"Just coming off the back of a bad break up," she shrugged casually, though her heart felt heavy and her voice trembled. "I'm not sure I'm ready to be dating."
Her eyes were starting to sting. She felt pathetic, and Shuuhei looked entirely alarmed.
"Well don't think of this as a date," he offered quickly. "Just new friends getting to know each other."
Rangiku swallowed again and nodded, taking a lengthy sip of her drink.
The new bar was nice actually, but it definitely had a romantic set up with intimate lighting and chairs drawn close together, most tables only having two seats. Tea light candles sat on each table and gentle love songs played quietly. It had confronted Rangiku the second she walked in.
She felt overwhelmed; her thoughts were all over the place. She thought about Gin and Shuuhei, and she kept seeing Grimmjow's stupid wink. She could hear Kiyone and Rukia's giggles and the uneasy feeling in her stomach flipped over and over.
Where she really wanted to be that night was with Toshiro, losing dramatically at Chess and eating toasted sandwiches. She wanted to be with her best friend tonight and no one else. He wasn't available though – he was with Kiyone now.
"I'm going to go," she told Shuuhei suddenly, jumping abruptly to her feet. "I'm sorry."
"I'll walk you back," Shuuhei answered instantly, getting out of his chair.
"No, it's okay," Rangiku shook her head. She found it hard to breathe now, and just wanted to get out of that bar. "I'll be fine. I'm really sorry."
She turned sharply and left, hurrying out of the bar as tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't know why she was getting so upset, but she couldn't stop it and she moved quickly down the street towards the college campus. It had rained as predicted, and it was still raining heavily as Rangiku hurried through it – white had not been the right colour choice of her clothing that night.
She would call Shuuhei tomorrow and apologise properly, and offer to pay the bill. It wasn't his fault, she just wasn't ready. She was so embarrassed too, yet she kept on moving.
Rangiku entered the dorms and without thinking, she strode quickly past the second floor, continuing up the stairs until she reached the fourth level and moved down the corridor until she reached Toshiro's dorm.
Knocking on the door quickly, she waited for Toshiro to answer. He didn't the first time, but Rangiku knocked louder. She needed her best friend right now. After another minute he came to the door, opening it and looking like he had just woke up even though it couldn't have been that late. He had no shirt on, just jeans. He looked entirely taken aback by her drenched appearance.
"Matsumoto?" his eyes turned concerned. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
That was the last straw, and Rangiku's emotional flood gate broke. A sob fell from her lips and she covered her face with her hands as it contorted uglily. Immediately Toshiro ushered her into the dorm, and straight into his arms.
Rangiku cried openly against him. He'd seen it before, many times, and he never judged her for it.
He squeezed her and let her cry it out on his shoulder.
"What's happened, hm?" he asked her gently, rubbing her back. "Shuuhei didn't do anything to you, did he?"
Rangiku shook her head and hiccupped.
"I don't know why," she cried against him, gasping a breath in between, "but I can't stop."
She hadn't had time to tell him she was going out with Shuuhei that night, but she was sure someone would have told him if he hadn't worked it out seeing them leave the game together. It was probably Rukia or Kiyone who-
Rangiku glanced up, over Toshiro's shoulder to his bedroom door, seeing Kiyone standing in the doorway, wearing one of his shirts. It covered her down to mid-thigh, but it was clear she was no longer wearing that tartan skirt anymore. Her hair was a mess, her makeup smudged.
Rangiku's sobs stopped, realising what she had interrupted.
"Are you okay?" Kiyone asked that time, her voice and expression concerned and sympathetic.
Swallowing and straightening, Rangiku nodded and pulled out of Toshiro's arms. He didn't seem to want to let her get far though, as he reached out to rub her arm. She spotted the red marks on his neck, the same shade of Kiyone's lipstick.
"I'm sorry for disturbing you guys," Rangiku told them shakily. "I forgot you're on a date."
A date with no pants, apparently.
"That's okay," Toshiro murmured. He grabbed her hand and led her over to the couch, despite her trying to take a step back towards the door. "You can stay here as long as you need."
Immediately he had her wrapped in a blanket, covering her cold, wet body and now see-through white playsuit.
"I'm fine, really," she tried to assure him. "Just being stupid. I don't even know why I'm crying."
She really didn't know why, she just felt overwhelmed with emotions moving so fast she couldn't pinpoint what they were.
"You're not being stupid, Matsumoto," Toshiro told her with a sigh, sitting beside her on the couch and pulling her back into her arms. "Maybe you're feeling a bit of anxiety?"
"I don't have anxiety," she argued weakly against him.
"You don't have to have anxiety to feel anxiety," Toshiro pointed out. "Everyone feels it."
Rangiku sighed and closed her eyes, turning her face into Toshiro's chest as she hiccupped again. She didn't know what the feeling was, but she hated it.
With her face pressed firmly against his chest, Rangiku could smell the sex on him. Maybe it was just sweat, but she knew.
She was silent for a moment, taking a selfish minute or ten to enjoy his hold and his soothing back rub. It allowed her to calm down – not a point that she understood her tears but at least to the point she could stop crying and start to feel sleepy. It was only last night that Toshiro leaned into her hold on her couch, drunk and happy, talking about his date, and now she was in his hold and on his couch, but she was not as happy, and she was not talking about her date.
"Do you want me to go?" Kiyone asked Toshiro softly then. Rangiku didn't open her eyes or make any attempt to move, but she imagined the blonde girl was hovering close, no doubt feeling awkward.
Rangiku felt terrible about it honestly, but she couldn't will her body to move just yet.
"Not at all," Toshiro murmured back to her. "Go back to bed if you want. I'll just sit out with Matsumoto for a while."
Kiyone's answer wasn't verbal, but a moment later Rangiku heard the bedroom door click closed, so she must have listened to him.
"I'm sorry," Rangiku murmured.
"It's okay," Toshiro squeezed her. "Mates before dates, remember?"
Rangiku snorted, choking on a wet laugh. She had taught him that in high school, as a more neutral way to say 'bros before hoes'. She tried to follow that motto herself, even though Gin had spent a lot of time getting fed up with her needing to have 'bestie nights' with Toshiro when he wanted to spend time alone with her. Of course they did spend plenty of time alone, but Rangiku had to respect her friendships too.
"Thank you," Rangiku sniffled against him.
Toshiro hummed and pressed a kiss into her crown.
They sat in silence for a long time, Toshiro continuing to hold her patiently as she tried to put her emotions into words in her mind, but unable to do so. After a while, he started murmuring softly, catching her up on everyone's movements for the night. Rukia had wanted to spend the night in with Renji, while Ichigo had wanted to spend his night with her, and Orihime had tried to invite him out with her and Chad, but they ended up having mismatched plans. Renji and Orihime went to the gym, Chad and Rukia went for dumplings, and Ichigo got dragged clubbing with Ikkaku and Yumichika.
"Useless," Rangiku chuckled quietly. "Why don't they just all get over themselves and tell each other how they feel?"
If she had said it once, she'd said it a thousand times. Cue Toshiro's regular reply in three, two, one-
"I guess they're worried about risking their friendships," he murmured, consistent as ever. He was a fence-sitter when it came to the infamous love square between Orihime, Ichigo, Rukia and Renji, but Rangiku was heavily on the side of 'just rip the Band-Aid off and tell each other the truth'. It would be messy, sure, but it was already messy, and the longer they left it, the worse things got.
Eventually, Rangiku made herself move, sitting up and stretching her back before she stood and dropped the blanket. Toshiro offered her another of his shirts so no one would see her bra and underwear through her wet clothes but she shook her head – it wasn't far to go. He also offered the couch for her to stay, but she declined that too, feeling she had already well overstepped the boundaries by ruining his sleepover with his potential new girlfriend.
He didn't offer, but in fact insisted he walk her back to her dorm, so Rangiku sighed and allowed him to follow her back down to the second floor.
"Do you think it was too soon for me to start dating again?" she asked as they walked. Thankfully, they didn't cross paths with anyone on the way.
Toshiro seemed to think about it for a minute before he answered.
"I think you are ready," he admitted. "The first one was always going to be the hardest. Hopefully it will get easier from here, but ultimately you'll need to decide when you feel comfortable enough to try it again."
Rangiku sighed. "Shuuhei isn't going to want to see me again."
"He'd be crazy not to," Toshiro nudged her playfully. "I've read his feature articles. He seems alright."
'Alright' was about as good a compliment Toshiro could give to her dates. He was protective, to the point that no one was ever good enough for her. He'd hated Gin, with a burning passion, but he was more open-minded when it came to Shuuhei it seemed.
"He does," she admitted. "Even so, I think I'll take a bit of a break before I try that again."
Toshiro nodded understandingly as they reached her door. Rangiku unlocked the door and hugged Toshiro under the threshold.
"Thanks," she murmured. "I'm sorry again for ruining your night."
"Anytime," Toshiro kissed her cheek.
They pulled back from each other, and Rangiku waved at him before she shut the door gently between them. She sighed, hearing his retreating footsteps, before she turned into the dorm and headed to her bedroom.
Orihime was home, but asleep. Rangiku could hear her talking in her sleep as she passed the girl's bedroom, no doubt dreaming one of those weird, mildly sexual dreams she usually had.
In the safety of her own bedroom, Rangiku felt the tears come back. She was calmer now, but still unsure as to what had triggered all this. Maybe it was a bit of anxiety like Toshiro thought, or maybe she was just drunk and hormonal.
She removed her horrifically smudged makeup, and brushed her damp hair. She stripped off her wet, terribly transparent playsuit, and into a pair of old sweats and a hoodie of Toshiro's that he had left behind once. It was probably inappropriate, since Kiyone was the other girl wearing his clothes tonight, and she was the one in his bed, asleep in his arms, but Rangiku shook off the thought. She needed comfort tonight, alone in her bed, and his clothes were comfortable. They were warm and they smelled like him.
He had always been there for her, and maybe she depended on that a little too much, but tonight she didn't care.
She needed the comfort of her best friend.
…
Sunday was a write-off day. Rangiku hadn't been able to sleep for hours after she finally made it to bed, her stomach still churning with unease, her thoughts racing though they were all useless in telling her anything about her emotions.
Eventually she fell asleep, but had been restless throughout the night, waking early when she heard Orihime get up and do her morning yoga in the living room. Eventually, sometime after nine in the morning, Rangiku fell into a deep sleep, waking again before eleven and finding Toshiro reading at the foot of her bed.
She grinned, but showed her love by kicking him.
"Creep," she muttered, rolling over.
"What's creepy is the lead male in this book, Matsumoto," Toshiro's tone was humorous. "Why is following her? I get that he's just saved her from getting assaulted, but why was he there in the first place?"
Rangiku lifted her head and squinted at the front cover of the book. Twilight – one of her books.
"He's a vampire," she sighed her answer, as if that explained everything, and returned to her pillow.
"That's worse," Toshiro chortled. He then smacked her legs gently with the book. "How did you sleep?"
"Shit," she muttered, opening her eyes again. Toshiro was gazing down at her, assessing her emotionally. "I feel better though."
Toshiro nodded and hummed.
"Want to go to Ukitake's for breakfast? Or brunch I suppose." he tilted his head. "Belgian chocolate waffles?"
Rangiku felt her lips tug at the corners, wanting to smile.
"Yes please," she sighed, and pulled herself out of bed. "Is this just your excuse to ogle Kiyone while she works?"
"Perhaps," Toshiro smirked. "But I also invited Ichigo and Orihime."
Rangiku beamed as sat in front of her mirror with her makeup bag.
"Good shout," she grinned at his reflection, as he took over her previous position on the bed and reclined with his new book. "Ichigo will probably be staring at Rukia though."
Toshiro shrugged. "Maybe she won't be working today."
Luckily Rukia hadn't been working that morning, so Ichigo actually paid them all attention, and Orihime had him in stitches with her story of going to the gym with Renji and trying to keep up with him without letting him know how much she was struggling. Ichigo was in a surprisingly good mood, despite the hangover he must have had after a night out with Ikkaku and Yumichika but apparently he'd had a lot of fun in the end. They'd gone to a cocktail bar, and nothing quite perked Ichigo up like an espresso martini. Toshiro too was in an excellent mood, but Rangiku knew explicitly why since she had pretty much walked in on it last night.
To be fair, Rangiku was in a far better mood and mental space today. Her sleep hadn't been great but her time with her friends healed her quickly.
It was busy that morning in the café, and they didn't actually see much of Kiyone since she seemed to get stuck behind the coffee machine for the majority of their visit but she smiled and waved at them when they came in.
"Are you seeing Kiyone later?" Rangiku asked. She was kind of hoping to have more time with Toshiro today, but she respected that he probably wanted to see her again, given things were so new and exciting in their developing relationship.
"Nope, you're stuck with me all day," Toshiro grinned at her as he blew on his hot chocolate gently. "I'm taking Kiyone out for dinner tomorrow night to make up for the lack of mini golf."
Rangiku hummed, a smirk pulling at her lips.
"Seemed like she had a good swing of your club last night," she winked at him.
"You're disgusting," he rolled his eyes.
Ichigo choked on his waffles but he seemed to be laughing. Rangiku supposed he would have seen Kiyone leaving Toshiro's room that morning, but Orihime looked entirely lost. To Toshiro's mortification, they filled her in quickly, but Rangiku left out the details of her emotional breakdown.
They spent the rest of their visit to Ukitake's teasing Toshiro about his 'golf swing' before they decided to go back to Toshiro and Ichigo's dorm to watch a movie. Orihime was so elated, Rangiku thought she was going to faint right then and there.
The movie was a weird space one that Rangiku could not get into, so she promptly fell asleep on Toshiro's shoulder, and didn't wake up until dinner time. Despite the amount of hours that must have passed, Toshiro hadn't moved, though he was reading through one of his textbooks now, making notes in the margins.
Orihime had disappeared and apparently Ichigo's hangover had finally hit, so he was sleeping it off. Toshiro continued to study, not minding Rangiku's presence as he did so – though he usually didn't mind, as long as she didn't annoy him, which she did anyway for her own amusement.
They'd had a typical college dinner of toasted sandwiches and tea before Rangiku eventually left, making her way back down to her dorm.
She felt lighter after spending the day with her friends, and she even managed that apology call to Shuuhei.
"I need to apologise again for running off last night," she murmured into the phone. "I don't know what happened."
"You don't need to explain, Rangiku," he assured her. "It's okay."
He really was 'alright', as Toshiro put it.
"Can I at least halve the bill with you?" she asked, hopeful but starting to realise that Shuuhei was almost as much of a gentleman as Toshiro.
"Absolutely not," Shuuhei laughed down the line. "I will, however, let you buy me a drink next time you see me at the uni bar."
The uni bar, also known as The Pink Kimono, was a pub just down the street, half a block down from Ukitake's. Nanao's uncle owned it, though she rarely frequented the place. It was always full of students; it was one of the cheaper going out options for them, but it got tired after too many Saturdays in a row.
"Done," Rangiku agreed easily.
They agreed to be friends, and Rangiku hung up the phone feeling much better about the situation. Maybe it was a lost opportunity, especially those bloody arms, but if he was the one for her they'd find themselves together eventually. If not, it meant there was someone better for her to come.
Or not. She could end up like her mother – single, pregnant and alone. At least Rangiku had dodged the teenage pregnancy bullet (she shouldn't call it that, because her mother always told her it was the best thing to happen to her, but still, it wasn't a path Rangiku wanted for herself).
And she wouldn't be alone, because she had her friends, and she had Toshiro who always had her back.
…
Rangiku spent most of Monday yawning through her classes, largely from her weird sleep over the weekend but also simply because it was Monday.
There was nothing to report. She went to her classes and then straight home to bed. Toshiro was out with Kiyone anyway, and Orihime was in her room studying.
Tuesday passed in much the same fashion, but this time Rangiku was the one with the assignment to work on. She forgot it was due that week, but after a few stressful hours in the library, Rangiku pulled it together to write up her essay. She thought about asking Toshiro for help, but when she checked her messages with him, she noticed he hadn't been online all evening so she figured he was with Kiyone again. Rangiku had interrupted one too many dates of theirs and wasn't about to do it again, so she tried the next best thing.
Nanao came to her aid, helping her to get a structure going, and then to Rangiku's pleasant surprise, Shuuhei spotted them in the library and came over. He was helpful too, even more so with the actual writing and helping her to quote her journal sources.
Rangiku found herself much more comfortable around him now that dating was off the table for them. Oddly, he seemed more comfortable too, and they actually had good conversations as the night wore on. Rangiku got her assignment in and submitted online only four hours before the due time. She thanked them both, and left them to their studies before she hurried out of the library.
She was entering the dorms building when she ran into Kiyone coming home from work.
Rangiku had smiled politely at her, but frowned when she noticed the café uniform she was wearing. "I thought you would have been with Toshiro tonight?"
Kiyone hesitated, shifting uncomfortably.
"He didn't tell you?" she asked, wincing slightly.
"Tell me what?" Rangiku asked, but she already had a sinking feeling in her stomach.
"I um… I called things off with him last night," Kiyone explained with a grimace.
Rangiku blinked at her in shock but Kiyone shrugged awkwardly and opened the door to the dorm building, entering and moving swiftly towards the stairs. Following her quickly, Rangiku asked follow-up questions.
"Why?" she asked, bewildered. "Things seemed to be going well?"
"Yeah they were," Kiyone sighed. "I just… I think he needs to sort himself out a little."
Rangiku frowned deeply as she hurried up the stairs beside Kiyone. Toshiro was the most well-sorted individual she knew. He knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life, and he worked hard at school. He had nice friends and respected his grandmother and other people he looked up to. He was strict with his routines during the week, and even when he did let loose and party over the weekends, he was always harmless fun. What could he possibly have to sort out?
"It was on good terms," Kiyone continued before Rangiku could ask anything else, and they turned down the second floor corridor. "We're just not meant to be."
That seemed like a cop out, but Rangiku had pretty much thought the same thing about Shuuhei. Kiyone gave her a weak smile before she slipped inside her own dorm room and left Rangiku staring at the closed entry way.
She turned back towards the stairs and made her way up to the fourth level, thinking about Kiyone's words. She had put the blame on Toshiro, but that didn't make any sense. Rangiku had a feeling it might have been her who came between them, especially on Saturday night – not many of their dates, for either of them, could handle the closeness of Toshiro and Rangiku's friendship, so maybe that's what upset Kiyone.
Rangiku made her way to Toshiro's door and knocked.
When he answered, he looked exhausted. He was wincing, his fingers pressed into his forehead. He looked unwell.
"Migraine?" Rangiku asked softly.
Toshiro nodded and turned back into the dorm. Rangiku followed quietly, making sure to shut the door behind her as noiselessly as possible. When she turned around, he was sitting at the kitchen table, surrounded by books and working on his laptop. He had a glass of water beside him, and an empty sheet of painkillers.
Occasionally Toshiro got migraines when he was stressed, or when he studied for hours on end without a break. The dorms also had dull yellow lighting, so to study at night without any natural light coming into the room was almost asking for an eye strain.
Rangiku watched him, typing furiously, wincing every other second. How long had he been like that? She suspected a while, especially if he was trying to distract himself from Kiyone.
Sighing, Rangiku reached for the light switch and flicked it, plunging the room into darkness minus the glow from Toshiro's laptop.
"Matsumoto," he groaned, prepared to argue but Rangiku wasn't having it.
She moved towards him, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the chair. He came easily enough, which told her more about the severity of his headache; normally he would persevere but tonight he gave up with little fight.
She brought his water, and guided him over to the couch, setting the glass down on the coffee table before they settled together. Without thinking, Rangiku linked her hand in his, and used her other hand to reach up and brush his hair back off his forehead. He sighed, his head falling down against the back of the couch, cheek pressed into the cushion.
The laptop at the table provided enough glow for Rangiku to see Toshiro's face. He'd closed his eyes, and was resting almost peacefully, but occasionally he would still wince, likely at a particularly hard throb that had just hit against his skull.
"I ran into Kiyone," Rangiku whispered and Toshiro winced again. "She said you guys broke up."
"Can you break up if you're not together?" Toshiro asked, his tone somewhere between sarcastic and tired.
"You know what I mean," Rangiku murmured. "What happened?"
"Nothing," Toshiro sighed. "She just said she didn't see us working out."
"Was it me?" Rangiku pressed, voice still quiet, as not to worsen his head pain.
Toshiro's eyes flickered open and he regarded her for a moment before he answered.
"No," he said at last, tone almost cautious. "It was me."
Rangiku shook her head and looked away. She had a feeling in her gut that it was her who had come between them. It wasn't exactly a great look, turning up at Toshiro's dorm late at night, in a see-through playsuit, before cuddling him on the couch and crying into his bare chest – as totally innocent as Rangiku had meant it.
Unless people had known them for a long time, Toshiro and Rangiku could be mistaken for a couple. It was absurd of course, he was just her friend – her best friend, but a friend nonetheless.
Sure they hugged and sat close together, occasionally they shared a bed and sometimes they even got drunk and kissed each other, but it never meant anything more.
Still, Kiyone had made her choice. If Rangiku's hunch was correct, then she couldn't accept Toshiro's friendship with Rangiku. Toshiro had made his choice too; 'mates before dates', loyal to her as always.
Rangiku sighed and turned back to Toshiro, finding him with his eyes closed again.
She reached out and cupped his jaw, stroking his cheek with her thumb. He tilted his head for a moment, pressing a chaste kiss to her wrist. Rangiku smiled softly as she leaned down, capturing his lips with her own.
It was gentle and full of care, and he kissed her back just as tenderly.
He was her best friend, and yeah, they kissed. They kissed because they were drunk. This kissed because it was fun. They kissed because it was familiar.
They kissed because it was comforting.
When Rangiku pulled away, Toshiro hummed and for a moment there was a hint of a smile on his lips.
Rangiku's own lips twitched before she guided him to lay with his head in her lap. He settled there without complaint, and Rangiku carded her hands through his hair gently and repeatedly, hoping to ease his headache a little.
They stayed like that for a long time. Once again, two friends finding comfort with each other. They were both disasters in the dating world, if the last few days had taught them anything, but they had each other, and they always would.