Chapter 3: Is it obvious I'm not okay (Good Without – Mimi Webb)

Boy, had she been startled by that. Just now deep in thought, her heart had leapt with fright. Couldn't he behave normally like everyone else and not, again and again like a little child, set out to frighten her.

She turned slowly and looked at Mike B. with a feigned look of anger. "Stop it! If you do that again like that, I'll fall over in fright one of these days. You almost scared me to death!" Sighing inwardly, she concluded that she could forget about the emails now. One more thing that would keep her from sleeping in the air.

"Yeah, yeah, let's move on to something more important." He looked at her with amusement and, before continuing in a serious tone, raised both hands in the air placatingly and waved them off. "You look funny."

"What?!" At her questioning expression and the confusion that lay in it because she didn't understand what he meant, he had to pull himself together not to laugh. This just looked too funny.

"You look funny." he repeated, this time a little louder and the individual words strongly emphasized. Maybe she just hadn't heard him, or was distracted by Blake with a bag in his hands, who had just hurried past her into her office.

"You already said that..." she began her sentence annoyed, but Mike interrupted her, leaving her sentence unfinished.

"Did they drag you to the children's makeup? After they did that last week with the animal shelter, oh and with the retirement home the week before, and the elementary school..." Now it was Elizabeth who interrupted him. "Mike! Get to the point." "Yeah, right. You've got something there."

"Where do I have what?" She definitely had more important things to do than play along with Mike's puzzle game. Almost tempted to turn back around and just leave him standing there so she could devote herself to her makeup, emails, and maybe her desk, which desperately needed sorting, she rolled her eyes in annoyance. Hadn't she also just seen Blake walk past her with the fresh clothes for the closet?

"Where? In your face." Mike looked at her with incomprehension and amusement. When it finally seemed to have clicked with Elizabeth, he shook his head in disbelief. Had it really taken this long for her to understand? "I thought you were an analyst, weren't you supposed to see what I was getting at right away?"

"Mike, I'm tired. I don't want to play these games right now." she replied softly in a voice that sounded very exhausted. It wasn't often that she showed this side of Elizabeth, the exhausted and drained side, to other people.

Suddenly reminded again where she was, she straightened up and took back her shoulders. That's the Bess I know, Mike thought as he watched her nod gratefully to Blake, who was just coming back out the door, and he gave her a brief but friendly smile.

"And I'll fix the makeup in a minute." She started moving towards the office again. When Blake had nodded at her, she had been sure he wouldn't be waiting for her there. She exhaled in relief.

While she finally managed to enter her office without being stopped again, she continued "And I'm doing the visits to the retirement homes, the elementary schools and the animal shelters on direct orders from Russell Jackson. You know how he is. Poll numbers, poll numbers, and poll numbers again." She raised both arms and swayed them back and forth.

"I guess you can't blame him then. It's his job."

"I know."

Mike smirked and nodded devoutly before looking at her "Now let's be honest. You can't do that to your face. Do something about it."

Elizabeth gave him a questioning look and headed towards the bathroom. "Why do I have the honor of visit, anyway?"

"You mean the fabled Mike Barnow showing up at your place without Gordon?"

Too tired to respond to his provocative and smug remark, she left his question unanswered. After all, he would tell her as well as so in a moment. But why he showed up at her place without his beloved dog, she wanted to know. There had to be a good explanation. After all, Mike was only available as a double pack with Gordon. No sooner had she finished her thought than she heard his slightly offended-sounding voice muffled through the wall of the room.

"You know, I actually had an appointment with the Secretary of State for a coffee break at the coffee house around the corner. At the coffee house where no dogs are allowed in, but the coffee is just really a way too good not to go there..."

She closed her eyes. True, there had been something. She had been called to the White house just before, though, and when she finally got back here, the meeting and flight to Europe intervened.

"...But after she didn't show up after an hour and two coffees, I took the liberty of seeking her out here. And now I'm here."

Briefly sticking her head out the door, she looked at him. "Shit, I forgot about that! I'm sorry." In her eyes, he saw that she was truly sorry. And the very fact that she was expressing herself like that underscored it. She didn't usually talk like that.

Head already pulled back, he listened to her "There was the meeting at the White House, then the decision that we fly to Brussel, another meeting..." She hesitated for a moment whether she should really say the next, but then decided to do so. "... And then Blake announced to me that, on Russell's orders, Andrew was coming along." Finishing her last sentence, her head popped back up. "Umm, and then I had other things on my mind. You know." She threw an arm in the air in a desperate motion before turning her attention back to her reflection.

The look Mike had given her was hard for her to interpret. Understanding, pity, or simple incomprehension, maybe a combination of all, she didn't know.

Just at that moment, there was a knock at the door. She set down the makeup brush, looked in the mirror, and nodded to herself encouragingly. This would just about do it until she got on the plane. Her dark circles were well covered and her cheekbones somewhat hidden under cleverly placed makeup.

She should probably agree to Blake's offer of regular breaks to eat together. Eating alone obviously didn't work well. She did manage to eat a muffin in the morning and drink a few cups of coffee throughout the day, but there was so much going on at the moment that she often let eating fall by the wayside. In addition, she hated to eat alone. If she ate with others at fixed times... But that wouldn't change her lack of appetite, though. That could probably only be fixed if something would change at home. And she had no strength for that, no strength for the consequences that would result from it and certainly no strength to deal with what was wrong. Deep inside she knew what was wrong, but she didn't want to see it. Not now, not today. She sighed.

Another knock and Mike's clearing of his throat, startled her out of her thoughts. "Come in."

The door opened and this time Nadine stuck her head in. "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but we're all ready to go."

"Good, have Blake call the motorcade. I'll be there in a minute." hurriedly she went to her desk, gathered up her bag, and took her jacket from the chair. While she took one last look over her desk and then gave Mike an apologetic look over her glasses "I'll probably be back in three days if everything goes as planned. Why don't you let Blake know to reserve a table for us at Fiola? They allow dogs there, too. And besides, we deserve a really good meal."

Suddenly getting an idea, she followed up as she walked toward him, "I'd like to do it right the night I get back." Proud of herself for having had this flash of inspiration, she congratulated herself. This gave her a really good excuse to not have to go straight home.

With a smile, she hugged Mike "Glad you came by." She beamed at him and added with a smile, "Someone should lecture the Secretary about not forgetting such a good friend." With a nudge to his shoulder and a nod, she disappeared out the door after fishing her coat out of the coat rack.

Now left alone all at once in the Secretary's office, he took another quick look around and left her office. Arriving at Blake's desk, he stopped. Suddenly unsure whether he should make a private or business appointment with her. Had Bess said anything in that regard? He decided on the official one. It wouldn't get him or her in the press later. Especially since there was a lot of speculation about Elizabeth's relationship status at the moment. Better to be on the safe side, that way it would be on the official calendar and they would have to fret about amusing pictures and lurid headlines at best, but not speculation as well when they met 'secretly'.

"Hi, Michael Barnow. The Secretary wants to have dinner with me at Fiola the night she gets back."

Blake had taken his hint and nodded at him. "It's already on the official calendar. If anything changes and she's not back in three days or is here earlier, I'll get back to you."

Mike nodded gratefully and moved towards the elevator. After dinner, he'll finally have a chance to ask her what was wrong and where she got the dark blue bruises on her shoulder and neck. They didn't look so nice when he had seen them just now during their embrace and her blouse had slipped a bit.

Authors note: I didn't realize how much fun writing is. Once I start, I can't stop. And what luck for you guys that I only go to school every other week at this time.

Still, we students have little to laugh about these days. Fortunately, in a few -I think 8- weeks there will be summer vacations. Keep your fingers crossed that our teachers don't annoy us with exams, otherwise I probably won't manage to update at least once every week.

Also, I promise that in the next chapter, or the one after that, the secret of her relationship, if there still is one, will be revealed. Probably not everything, but at least so much that then the post goes off. So be curious. Maybe I'll manage to write some longer chapters then.

As always comments are very welcome, they motivate me to write and update faster :)

If anyone wants to beta, feel free to contact me. As you can see, I'm planning big things.

TBC