Silent Afflictions
Not So Silent
"What the hell are you doing here?" Rose demanded, not happy that they were in London, let alone her flat.
Her mother wasn't fazed though. "Fine way to speak to your mother."
"Ha!" Rose said, the lack of humour obvious to them all. "Let me start again; coffee?"
"Yes, please." Her mother said, Tina nodding.
Rose wasn't playing though. "Tough. What do you want?"
The men just watched the women, John having come up the stairs to stand by Sherlock. Glancing at each other, the looked shared the same train of thought. They'd seen Rose pissed off before, but this was something completely new; she wasn't just angry, she was almost instantly beyond that.
For once Sherlock kept quiet as he looked on, John still standing, ready to act if he needed to; she still hadn't had a cigarette and he didn't quite know what she was capable of at the moment, still not quite believing what had happened at the Hollow.
"We wanted to see how you're doing of course." Her mother tried.
"Oh, of course…" Rose nodded, looking down in understanding before she snapped back up with sharp eyes. "What do you really want?"
There were a few silent moments that ran through the flat and as he usually did when Rose's family came to visit - though he knew it wasn't her fault - John started to feel a bit uncomfortable; like he was intruding on a private moment. Deciding he should try and leave, he thought he'd better drag Sherlock too. "Sherlock, I'm going to get some lunch; coming?"
Sherlock wasn't interested though, not feeling uncomfortable in the least. "No, I'm good thanks, John."
Of all things though, this amused Rose, a slight twitch in her lips at his words. "I doubt that…."
"You should be nicer to your friends." Her mother told her, attempt at scolding the woman lost instantly.
"My friends know when I'm actually having a go." She shot back, trying not to glare so much and barely succeeding.
"That's very true." John said, looking at her before realising he probably wasn't helping. She didn't seem to mind though. The fact she had her two flatmates and friends here was a comfort if she was completely honest; she wasn't alone anymore.
Her mother just gave her a withering look though. "And I thought I brought you up to be a lady."
"Please." Rose said, tone obvious as she went to the kitchen, mind on getting a can rather than a cuppa. "You gave up on that years ago."
Tina spoke up then, trying to get conversation going again. "Nice place you've got here."
"Yeah," Rose agreed, nodding as she looked around the familiar mess. "It's been a good year and a half, at least."
"Doesn't time fly." Her mother added.
Rose sighed though, asking once more. "Why are you here?"
"We were in the area." Her mother told her. "Thought we'd pop in."
"You mean you were here visiting Tina's family- no wait..." She started, but caught herself, seeing the stress in her mother - more than usual, even after all this time - and the scruffy shoes Tina had on. She always dressed better for family visits. "Not quite family - Zach!" Still not getting along then, she thought bitterly.
Her mother frowned though, starting to see how much her daughter had changed. "How-?"
"It's my job." Rose told her, not knowing that Sherlock had said the same. Sherlock however smirked slightly, feeling oddly proud of his protege in that moment. She had learnt from him and was shaping it to suit her, becoming her own person more and more.
"Then you should also look for another job." Her mother retorted, the second-hand words having less effect now.
"Why's that then?" Rose asked absently as she popped the tab on her can, wondering how - after so long - they could still have the conversation of her getting a bloody job.
Giving the man on the sofa a dirty look, her mother simply said. "You're starting to sound like him for a start."
John held back the "Ha, told you so!" he wanted to say; it wasn't really the right time.
Rose just straightened her back slightly, raising a single eyebrow in challenge to the older woman, the defiance equal in their eyes. "And what's wrong with Sherlock?"
One thing the two men had come to know about Rose was that she was in fact incredibly loyal. Seeing as John actually got along with people, he didn't need it so much, but she always stood up for Sherlock when someone took a shot at him, the only exception being Sherlock's brother - that was between them.
Her mother looked incredulous though. "He's rude, impulsive, keeps god knows what in the kitchen and a skull on the mantle."
"Not to mention he's violent." Tina chipped in, glaring at Sherlock slightly.
"So, you've already seen Zach, how nice." Rose deduced, sarcasm thick in her tone. "Say anything else, did he?"
"Yes, had some interesting things to say too." Tina said, hard look turning towards the young woman she called a daughter.
"I'll bet." Rose said, raising an eyebrow to herself as she took a sip of her drink, already knowing how this particular conversation was going and she wasn't willing to play this time.
"Want to know?" Tina asked, trying to provoke her.
Rose held back a snort. "I couldn't care less what he says about me." And it was true; she knew Zach would go running to them with stories, whether they were on good terms or not - he was just a sod like that.
"He says you smoke." Tina told her, looking like she'd just ratted out a big conspiracy.
Rose gave her an obvious look. "Do you see an ashtray around?"
"You could have hidden them." Tina said, still sure about her accusations.
"We've literally just got back from a week in Devon." Rose told them, wondering why she was surprised. Typical, I smoke for years but the moment I quit, they're adamant, she thought.
"Very nice." Her mother complimented; she'd always liked the idea of Devon.
"Oh, yeah." Rose said sarcastically, even though it was one of their better cases, despite the ending. "Vicious dogs, minefields, secret army base; beautiful!"
Tina was starting to lose her patience though. "What are you talking about?"
"I told you, it's my job." Rose said, not elaborating; it wasn't any of their business.
"And what is this job?" Her mother asked, wanting to know what her daughter was actually doing with her life.
"I'm Sherlock's assistant." She said, pride in her tone, the man himself finding his lips pulling up ever so slightly at her words, glad that she was proud of who she was and what they did.
"And what does Sherlock do?" Her mother asked, patronising voice grating on the younger woman's nerves.
Sherlock spoke up before Rose could. "Consulting Detective." He didn't elaborate, seeing that Rose wasn't divulging much, following her lead for once; her parents, her business. For once in his life, he was staying out of it.
A look of understanding graced the older woman. "A PI?"
"No, Consulting Detective." Rose corrected, knowing Sherlock would only get annoyed. It was understandable though; it was his job and hers. "If he'd have meant PI, he would have said PI."
"Same thing." Tina dismissed.
Rose ground her teeth slightly, the old irritation coming back again. "No, they're not. If they were the same, they wouldn't have different names."
Her mother ignored her though, turning to Sherlock with more than a sliver of ice in her eyes as she looked him over. "So, you have an office, make my daughter play secretary, is that it?"
"No, this is my office." Sherlock defended, surprising Rose with his calm tone. But he didn't like the woman's implications about his friend. "And she certainly doesn't play secretary, not for me." Any other time and Rose would have snapped back for the added comment on the end - that really wasn't needed - but right now, she didn't care.
"Then what?" She demanded, tension rising between her and the man on the sofa who hadn't actually done anything to provoke her.
"I teach her and she helps on cases." Sherlock explained, giving only the utmost basic details. Rose noticed this and was grateful for it.
"Teach her?" Her mother asked. What does he mean by that exactly?
Sherlock just nodded. "Yes."
"Teach her what?" Tina asked, tone flat as she came to stand by her wife.
"The necessary skills." Sherlock avoided, knowing that either way, he probably couldn't avoid a confrontation. John just watched, wondering why Sherlock was holding back; he hadn't done with Rose's brothers.
"To do what?" Rose's mother demanded, voice rising the longer she went without an answer.
Sherlock suppressed a smirk, knowing his answer would only aggravate them. "To be my assistant."
Tina scoffed slightly. "Zach was right."
"Makes a change." Rose chipped in, taking a shot at the brother that had not helped the situation. Probably Zach who gave them the address, she realised, the thought not helping her temper.
"Rude and ignorant." Tina continued, ignoring the younger woman.
"No." Came a clear voice, stopping them all in their tracks.
"Excuse me?" Rose's mother asked him, clear that she hadn't expected any sort of reaction at this point.
Sherlock had had enough though. "I'm rude - yes, no doubt - a downright arrogant arsehole that generally insults most people and to be perfectly honest, I really don't care." He looked them both in the eye, making sure he was being clear. "But I am not ignorant."
"Watch your language." Her mother snapped at him.
"Why?" Rose asked, stepping in to defend her friend; Sherlock shouldn't have to defend himself or his own actions to strangers in his own home. "It's his flat too, he can say what he likes. Besides, you've said far worse."
There was another uncomfortable moment where mother and daughter glared at each other, neither backing down. However, after a while, Sherlock thought they should be getting back on topic.
"You still haven't answered the question." He reminded them.
"Sherlock…" John warned, taking Rose's usual place. He didn't want Sherlock making anything worse, as he knew he may well do despite his apparent restraint so far.
Rose turned to John, expression softening slightly. "No, it's okay, he's right." She turned to her parents, dropping the niceties. "Why are you here?"
"I was worried about you." Her mother said.
But Rose saw right through her. "Lie."
Trying - and failing - to hide her surprise, the older woman tried again. "I wanted to talk."
"I have a phone." Rose told her, batting back with an answer every time her mother skirted around the question.
Her mother gave her a knowing look. "Would you have answered?"
Giving it a fair thought, she pulled a face. "Depends on the day."
Tina had had enough though, always having been the first one out of the three of them to snap with impatience. "Still acting like a child."
"Yet you're still here!" Rose proclaimed, unhappy of the fact. "So, talk."
Her mother seemed to have a rare moment of stage fright then, embarrassed at their small audience. "In private maybe?"
Rose stood a little taller, once again glad she had her friends with her. "We don't have secrets under this roof."
In one sentence, both men nearly lost it, either to laughter, or simple outrage; they all had secrets, even the good doctor. They kept so much of their private lives private - family, friends - it was a wonder they knew each other so well. Two of them were trying to spy on each other for a start, though one was doing so with far more success - Sherlock still hadn't gotten into her laptop - and both parties even came together on occasion and agreed that there were most certainly some things that their doctor friend didn't need to know.
While her mother collected her thoughts slightly, Rose saw Tina pull out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter, pulling a single cigarette out of the box. "I'd rather you didn't smoke in my flat."
Tina frowned. "You smoke."
"No, I don't." She said, annoyance rising again. "I did say."
"Hm, didn't hear you." Tina said, putting her cigarettes away again.
Rose knew better though. "No, you just didn't listen."
"Same thing." Tina repeated.
"No, it's not!" Rose rounded out once more, the old phrase grating on her nerves more than ever.
Tina frowned at her though. "I think I'd know."
"You'd think." Rose agreed as she tried to reign in her temper.
Sensing the tension rising once more, John spoke up. "I'm going to make coffee…"
"No." Rose said, turning to him, trying not to vent at him. "You relax John, I'll do it."
"Oh…" John muttered as she went to put the kettle on. He had hoped to escape the room for a little maybe sneak off to his room or drag Sherlock for a walk, but as much as he wanted to give his friend her privacy with her family, she seemed to rather he'd stay. "Okay…."
Her mother decided to speak up again. "Coffee would be lovely."
"I said tough," Rose reminded her. "Yet again, not listening. They get coffee, not you."
Her mother pursed her lips in disapproval. "I thought I taught you to treat guests better than this."
"Guest implies you were invited." Rose called form the kitchen as she poured the men's drinks, a coldness lacing her words that her flat mates hadn't heard from her before; she was usually so warm and passionate, even when upset it was more of a blazing fire than this frosty sharpness.
Tina raised her eyebrows as Rose brought in coffee for the two men. "Are you saying we're not welcome?"
"Yes." Rose said bluntly, giving her parents an obvious look. "That's exactly what I'm saying." After putting the mugs down, she turned to them, hands on her hips as she held her head high. "Now, that wasn't so hard. You're turn to get to the point; what do you want?"
Looking between them, Rose wondered who would crack first, though she could have predicted it was her mother. "We miss you." Rose just let out another dry laugh, the lack of humour obvious. "We do! Christmas wasn't the same without you..."
Rose frowned slightly. "Well, it was the first Christmas in 23 years that we spent apart."
Her mother gave her the soft eyes she used to know; the ones she had always known and trusted years ago, when they would talk together as equals and as friends. "I didn't like it..."
Rose blinked, the mask staying in place. "Change is good sometimes."
"When did you become so cold?" Her mother asked, looking appalled at her daughter's lack of sympathy. It had been many years of emotional blackmail from the older woman which had led to her daughter's hard mask though; so many arguments that had turned to tears leading the young woman to give in just to make her mother happy again. Rose Spencer had learned long ago that just because someone was upset, it didn't make them right.
Rose just rolled her eyes. "Oh, that's rich!"
"I mean it!" Her mother implored, the stress of the day starting to crack her composure. "You're obviously depressed here, I can see what you really think."
Oh, give me a break, she thought. "You haven't been able to read me in years." Rose argued, and it was true; even when living in Wales, her mother hadn't been able to read her since before Joe left, resorting to guessing what her child was thinking and feeling, always missing the mark and usually pushing Rose further away.
"You don't have to pretend for them." Her mother continued, getting strange looks off the men and a defiant one off the younger woman.
Rose just took a breath. "I don't need to, they know me far better than that."
"It's true." Sherlock added, backing her up, but getting a strange look off of John who still didn't quite know what he was up to.
Tina just looked at the floor, eyebrows raised and eyes wide as she said, "Oh, I bet they know you really well!"
"Yes, I'm well aware of what you think of me." Rose assured her, used to the comments she used to get before.
Tina looked up at her. "You still go out every night?"
Rose laughed slightly at that. "Because I was such a party animal back then!"
"Are you saying you didn't go out every night?" Tina asked, trying to prove her point.
Rose just gave her an obvious look. "I worked in a theatre, working the late-night shows; what did you think I was going to do?"
"We thought you'd be more responsible." Her mother said, breaking off the glaring match between her partner and Rose.
"Responsible?!" Rose cried, not knowing what to even make of that.
"Yes." Her mother said, looking rather put out. "Who knew you'd turn out to be a run-away?"
"A run-away?!" Rose exclaimed, not believing what she was hearing anymore.
Her mother nodded though. "Yes, that's what you did, wasn't it; ran away from home?"
I don't believe this. "You sat me down one day and told me I needed a job - even though I had two - and that I had to get me own place!" She said, trying to control her volume as she threw her arms wide, indicating to the flat she'd come to call home. "So, I did!"
"You didn't need to move to London." Her mother argued back.
"I came to stay with Zach." Rose told them. "I only found this place by chance. Bloody miracle if you ask me."
"You still ran away, like a coward." Tina spat out. "I always said you couldn't face up to reality."
"Reality's a bitch!" Rose countered, venom in her words as she glared at her parents. "I see it daily."
"You still left us." Her mother said, sounding sad but Rose knew better.
Looking to the ceiling, she shook her head "You sound like an old ex."
Tina didn't like this though. "Oi! Don't you talk to her like that!"
"It's true!" Rose implored at the shorter woman.
Tina just glared at her, her face starting to turn a bright red with her anger. "Your mother's ashamed!"
This stopped Rose in her tracks. Looking at her mother, it hit her lot a bolt to her chest as she saw it was at least partly true. "…really?"
"Yes." Tina continued, seeing that she had a small opening. "You've disappointed us."
"How?" Rose implored them, wanting to know where she had gone so wrong in her life. "What have I done that's so dreadful?" She could feel herself becoming a little shaky, but controlled it; there would be time for that when they left.
"You're a run-away, whoring around with two older men, for a start!" Tina spat out, not seeing the two men bristle on the sofa; they were finding it harder and harder to stay out of the domestic.
"A start…?" Rose asked, taking a small step back, ashamed at herself at how shaky her voice had gotten - she felt like she'd been slapped. All she had done, all the good, everything she'd built on her own; and it still wasn't good enough. It didn't matter that it wasn't true, it was what they thought of her and nothing she could say or do would change that.
"Yes, for a start!" Tina raised her voice, as though it were obvious. "You didn't finish your education, quit your job, moved to this dump. You smoke, you're stuck in a dead-end job you obviously don't enjoy and by the sounds of it you don't even have any friends, let alone a man to settle yourself down with, maybe start a family of your own. You might understand how hard it is then. I thought you were stupid back then but I've got to say Rose, you've really out-done yourself this time. You're an embarrassment of a daughter."
Rose stood frozen, the men on the sofa not knowing whether to interfere or let her stand on her feet. They soon found that it didn't matter though; she made the choice herself.
"Get out." Rose told them, tone low and dangerous.
"What?" Tina laughed. She actually laughed.
"GET OUT!" Rose screamed at them, eyes ablaze with a rage that none of them ever thought she could unleash. All the self-loathing, the years of suppressed sadness and hurt had exploded into a fury she had never felt before, the emotion streaming through her like a wild fire; out of control as it blazed through anything in front of it.
"You watch your tone!" Tina shouted back at her, stepping forward as she did so.
"Why should I?!" Rose shouted back as she stepped forward again. "I'm such a disappointment, why not just cut me out?"
"You're our child." Her mother said quietly.
Rose wasn't having it though, rounding on the older woman. "And Joe wasn't?!"
At first at a loss for words, the best she could answer was, "Joe was different…"
"Just leave." Rose said, still fuming, but voice at normal level once again. "And don't you ever dare come back."
"You can't kick us out!" Tina told her, arrogance in her words.
"You're under my roof, you'll obey my rules." Rose declared, reminding her of her words so long ago. "That's what you always said, wasn't it?"
Tina just took another step forward, getting right in her personal space. "You should treat your parents with more respect!"
Rose didn't back down. "You should earn it!"
What she wasn't expecting however - though seeing the same thing happen countless times with her brothers, it really should have been the easier thing to predict by now - was the hand that flew to her face in that instant, a loose punch hitting her square in the cheek.
Taking the impact she turned her head, taking a deep breath through the burn as John jumped up. "There was no need for that!"
Rose held up a hand slightly, not looking back to them. John didn't see it and was about to step forward when Sherlock grabbed his sleeve, holding him back. The doctor didn't sit down but held back, waiting to see what happened.
"I wont tell you again to get out of my flat, and out of my sight." Rose reminded her parents. She didn't raise her voice, tone only dropping in pitch as she spoke.
"We're going." Her mother said, pulling Tina's sleeve as she went past, picking up her handbag on the way.
Seeing them dawdling slightly, Rose picked up a nearby heavy book, slamming it on the table loudly.
"NOW!"
At the loud noise they jumped, picking up their pace, moving down the stairs and out the door in a fraction of the time it took them to cross the room.
Rose took another deep breath, flexing her sore cheek, shutting everything away once more. Bringing a hand up to her face she tested the skin where the punch had met her; nothing broken, slight bruising maybe. She'd had far worse from their cases.
Sherlock saw this and remembered when she'd done the same after arguing with Zach. Just how much did she argue with her family for this to be so quick and automatic?
John was getting impatient though and as soon as the door had slammed shut downstairs, he went to stand in front of her, Sherlock deciding to join him. "Rose?"
She just looked up, the forced spark in her eyes almost undetectable in its false presence, the ghost of a smile on her relaxed features giving nothing away. If they hadn't just seen the experience themselves, they'd have sworn it hadn't even happened. "Yeah?"
John just looked more worried, once again remembering just how good of a liar she really was. "Are you alright?" Oh, good one John, really great, he thought, knowing it wasn't a good question to ask.
She frowned slightly though. "Yeah, of course I am."
John just sighed, seeing the redness on her cheek. Deciding he could deal with her emotional detachment later, he thought he should have a look first. "Here, let me have a look."
Before he could get any closer though, she batted his hand away, stepping backwards slightly. "I'm fine, John." She insisted.
John just sighed, but Sherlock knew that out of the two of them, he was more likely to get something out of her; he didn't know why, but the young woman seemed to trust him with personal matters. "Rose…?" He asked softly as he always did when she was like this, ignoring yet another funny look off John.
She didn't like that tone; she knew what it was. While he may not notice her half of the time, when he focused on her like this, she couldn't hide anything from the man who saw everything. Looking away, she dropped her shoulders. "I'm sorry about that guys; my family really doesn't get along..." She frowned then, thinking how many times she had argued with her family in front of them.
"It's okay." John assured her, seeing she was starting to not hide her emotions so much.
"No, it's not though." She insisted, looking up at them. "It's not fair that you two keep getting caught up in my family problems." Feeling bad now for shouting again, she just looked away, ashamed once more at her behaviour.
John was at a loss here, not really knowing what to do to comfort her. Sherlock however, thought it might be one of those relating times again.
"Hey..." Bringing up a hand, he gently clipped the underside of her chin lightly, turning her to look at him a bit more. "I'm sure everything will turn out alright, it always does."
She frowned slightly, remembering when she had said the same to him when he and John argued some months ago. She smiled slightly at his trying. He's learning.
Though they didn't know why she was smiling, they took it as a good sign, Sherlock thinking he might have actually done something right on an emotional and social level for once.
Rose turned to look at him properly, smiling larger. "Thanks Sherlock."
Sherlock however now went blank, not knowing the right response to this; he hadn't said thank you back then. "Um… no problem?"
She just chuckled at him as she shook her head at his loss of direction. "Well, I'm going to go finish unpacking." She told them, stepping back a bit, heading towards the stairs. "I'll see you guys in a bit."
"Okay." John said, still a little shocked at what had just happened. "Well, you know where we are if you want to talk, alright?" Hearing this though, Sherlock gave him an annoyed look clearly saying, we've just got rid of the emotionally upset woman, don't bring her back for more.
Rose just nodded though, smiling a sad smile at them. "Thanks guys. You really are great friends, you know."
John smiled back, trying to cheer her up a bit. "We know." Getting a small laugh for his troubles, he watched her disappear down the stairs before rounding on his other friend. "Where the hell did that come from?"
Sherlock just frowned slightly, not understanding. "What?" He asked, going to lie on the sofa once again.
"Everything will be alright in the end?" John repeated, face incredulous as he watched Sherlock, not understanding how the man could be so...human. "Was it a book? TV...?"
Sherlock just took a deep breath, explaining only partly. "Rose said it a while ago; seemed appropriate."
"Right…" John nodded, seeing the general logic… sort of. Smiling, he carried on. "You did good Sherlock."
Sherlock frowned though. "I suppose..."
John didn't like this, frowning as he went to sit in his chair. "What's the matter?"
Turning to his friend, Sherlock frowned. "It was a lie." He knew things weren't going to get any better with her family, certainly not any time soon.
John frowned slightly, wondering how best to explain these things to his friend. "But it was what she needed to hear; and that's being a good friend."
Sherlock just got more confused. "Is it?"
"Yes, it is." John smiled.
"Being a good friend is lying to her?" Sherlock tried to clarify.
"No," John tried to clear up quickly, hoping this wasn't going to back-fire terribly. "Being a good friend is making her feel better, even if it's not completely true."
"Hmm…" Sherlock hummed, facing the ceiling again as John got a book.
Thinking about all that had happened, how far they'd all come together, he saw the little bits of friendship they shared. So, lying on the sofa, Sherlock Holmes began to believe he was indeed getting the hang of being a good friend after all.