Whether you're a Monster or a Human you're Trapped in this World
Disclaimers I don't own Kono Suba or Monster Prom, please support any to all official releases.
The room was dead silent over hearing how out of all the 4 new comers, Brian was selected to be the necromancer of the not only his team but the guild and to say people weren't put off on it would be an understatement.
"This is quite unusual" Luna said slowly as she began to look at Brian with a nervous look, "Hold on, before we decide to grab our pitch forks and torches here, I think we should all think about it for a second" said Kazuma getting everyone's attention.
"I mean think about it guys, these are first time new adventurers who've all been preselected to a certain class, and while I may have just recently met these guys, I bet my reputation by vouching for them all that they're on our side regardless their class type" said Kazuma.
In spite of Kazuma being known as a lecherous pervert and the scumbag amongst the people, there was still no denying how not only successful his team has been in taking on Demon Lord's Generals, but also how by the end of the day he would always go all out when treating the guild to at least 1 round of drinks.
"Yeah, I'm with Kazuma on this one" shouted Dust as soon everyone in the guild began to shout in agreement as Kazuma to a suave pose, but mentally he was relieved since he was able to bullshit his way to keep his new friends safe.
"Maybe you're right Kazuma" said Luna as she handed Brian back his adventurer card.
"Please forgive me for causing a scene" said Luna apologetically, "It's cool" Brain said calmly as if nothing happened.
"Right, well come on guys let's get started on a quest or 2 already" said Kazuma as he took them to the quest boards.
"Good job saving us back there Kazuma" thanked Vicky, "No joke if that hadn't work we were going to run and I mean we're going to run for the damn mountains" said Kazuma as he dropped his strong front to really show how scared shitless he was.
"Sorry about that Kazuma, I'll make it up to someday" said Brian calmly, "If you can treat me to a drink as soon as you guys get paid we're even" said Kazuma as they all stood outside the quest boards.
"Let's see here, oh we can try this one" said Vicky as she pointed at one that involved going out of their way to kill a small pack of Griffons that are nearing the area and that have been harassing merchants, hunters, and travelers.
"Nope, no way in hell, I love your guys' enthusiasm, but take it from me a guy who's been doing this for 2 years and has gained a reputation for being known as the both the strongest and weakest team in the kingdom" said Kazuma.
"Could have fooled me you guys fucking sucked" said Amira, "Amira!" exclaimed Vicky as she was surprised by her friends response.
"Well you know what to be fair I ask myself that every night going to bed especially after I came back from death" said Kazuma as the Player Characters looked at him.
"Wait are you saying you've died before" asked Amira, "Oh Kazuma has died so many times that I've honestly lost count as to how many times I had to go revive him" laughed Aqua as Kazuma began to frown over how dismissive she was over his repeated deaths.
"This is why I also call her a bitch goddess" said Kazuma as this got Aqua to cease her laughter and began to pout, "Who are you calling a bitch goddess" shrilled Aqua.
"Look in the mirror and you'll see what I see" said Kazuma as both were going into another heated argument, but also confirmed that Amira was right in labeling Aqua a bitch the other night, and yet a part of her and her friends thought Aqua was a savage for laughing at her boyfriends, or husbands, or blood bag leaching man's death.
"Kazuma, Aqua enough we'll never get to do any quest if you both continue to argue" said Darkness before they both stopped but glared at each other for the time being.
"So we're doing this griffon slaying quest or what" asked Amira, "I thought we agreed that we're not" said Kazuma, "Yeah, I don't think we actually" said Vicky as she was just laying down the facts.
"Well I'm telling you guys it's suicide" said Kazuma, "Seriously it pays well, like I don't know the exchange rate is to our money but honestly this is enough for us to get some hot shit flare and then some" said Amira.
"Besides we've all already faced and have previously killed a handful of griffons before" said Oz as this surprised the members of team Kazuma.
"I'm sorry, you mind repeating that for us" asked Kazuma, "Yeah, they're not that hard to kill, especially if you can either cast the right spell and use the right artifact to turn them all into a plate of spaghetti" said Amira.
"Wait why would you want to turn them into plates of spaghetti" asked Darkness as the thought of knowing to turn things into such a tasty dish may be worth something Megumin is willing to learn, especially for the sake of her family.
"It's a long story, but mainly it involved a wild griffin attack on the lose and something had to be done" explained Brian.
"Well I'm not to certain about risking our lives to turn a bunch of griffons into a tasty pasta dish so veto" said Kazuma, "Seriously, why are pussying out man" asked Amira.
"I'm not ready to add death by a pack of angry griffons on my ever growing list of deaths, besides you guys are heavily under equipped to be facing those mon-" said Kazuma before he caught himself in time, less he offended his new friends
"My bad I mean to say creatures, but still my point stands" argued Kazuma, "Who says we're under armed" said Amira as team Kazuma were curious to know what they mean.
Pulling out their various weapons, Kazuma went wide eye in amazement over seeing weapons normally used back in his world.
"Hold on you guys had these on you the whole time" asked Kazuma, "Sure did, now any chance you want to reconsider us taking on this griffons" asked Vicky.
"No, but I tell you guys what, you sell me all your weapons, and I will personally buy you guys the needed and necessary armor and weapons needed to give you guys and edge as adventurers" said Kazuma.
"Yeah sounds like a scam man" said Amira, "Hold on now, maybe we can all work with some sort of negotiation" said Vicky as she got her friends to huddle around and talk things out as they would occasionally peak at Kazuma.
"Ok Kazuma you have a deal, however we would also like to demand that you buy a lock for Brian to sleep in peace from the blue haired goddess with the alcohol problem, and we get the full reward on whatever quest you send us on" said Vicky.
"I say we don't deal with them Kazuma" said Aqua as she narrowed her eyes towards the group, "Alright, but in return I'd like for just you, me, and Amira to take a bath with just me" said Kazuma as this shouldn't have but definitely still surprised the girls how his perverted nature would sink so low.
"If you allow Oz and Brian in we got a deal" said Vicky as she stuck her hand out as Kazuma thought about it for the moment, before they officially shook on it.
"You got a deal" said Kazuma as the Player Characters were left smiling in satisfaction while the girls of team Kazuma were left speechless with their mouths gaped open.
Kono Suba
Taking the weapons of their friends, Kazuma had lead everyone to the local black smith to get the Player Characters suited.
"Kazuma, good to see you again" said the black smith, "Feelings mutual" said Kazuma as everyone came inside the shop.
"New friends with you" asked the black smith, "Yeah, actually they're all newly recruited adventurers at the guild and we struck a deal where I will personally buy them the needed starter gear and weapons and then some" said Kazuma.
"Any chance that I can get a piece in this deal" asked the black smith, "Honestly maybe, just let me talk to my guy first and when we have things figured out and finalized I'll definitely come to you" said Kazuma.
"Sounds good, now what should I be equipping for your friends here" asked the black smith, "Well I'm actually gonna leave it to them for the most part" said Kazuma as they all began to examine the gear they had in shop.
"Ooh, this screams knight" said Vicky as she began to pick up a helmet, before moving on and grabbing some chainmail armor.
"I can work this, and definitely this right here" said Amira as she grabbed a red bandana and began to wrap it over her head before lowering her hood.
"Hey boss, you got anything befitting for a Berserker class" asked Amira, "Well we have a great selection of spiked gauntlets and grieves" said the black smith.
"Not that I mind fighting with my bare fists, but I need something to help delivering some major power on the first hit" said Amira, "I may just have something for you" said the black smith as he went to the back for a good 5 minutes.
Dragging across the was a great steal hammer before he brought it in front of Amira, as she smiled wide over the heavy hitter weapon.
"What is this" asked Amira all giddy, "This here was the Great Sledgehammer of the Slab King, he was a real major threat as the most feared bandit leader when I was a boy" said the black smith.
"And you got this how" asked Kazuma as this was the first he's seen this weapon as well, "About 5 years ago before your arrival here Kazuma, a couple of adventurers brought this into my shop and sold it to me" said the black smith.
"I take it not many people were interested in buying this weapon" asked Amira, "Not a lot of adventurers have the strength needed to carry this thing, much less swing it around, but I'll tell you what if you got the strength to carry this weapon, I'll sell it to you half off" said the black smith.
"Sounds like a deal and…" said Amira as she surprised everyone how easily she picked it up with one hand and had it resting on her left shoulder, "…Peace of cake"
"Huh" said the black smith as he never figured he be kissing it goodbye today or anytime soon, "What's the price tag on that thing say" asked Kazuma.
"350,000 Eris" said Amira, "Great, guess I owe you 175,000 Eris" said Kazuma as the black smith gave a sheepish laugh.
"Hey guys, what do you think" asked Vicky as she was decked in wearing miscellaneous knights parts and equipment, but what she had on was the chainmail, her helmet as she lifted the visor up so people could look at her smiling face, a sword, 2 steal grieves, and only a left shoulder steel armor pad.
"You're kinda missing a few pieces there Vic" said Oz as he was still looking at things that might prove useful for him and his unusual class.
"Yeah a lot of the stuff here doesn't fit me" said Vicky, "Not to worry, if you can leave me some measurements and give me a few weeks, I'll have you a perfect set of armor, though I must admit the Goblin Slayer helmet does suit you quite nice miss" said the black smith.
"Speaking of, is this thing cursed or something, cause I swear I hear someone telling me to go annihilate every single goblin in this planet" asked Vicky.
"Guilty as charge, most people who buy this tend to return this by the end of the day cause they claim to hear the voice of the first wearer of that helmet to kill goblins, even though wearing this gives the wearer a massive strength and defense boost, not to mention a terrifying presence on command" said the black smith.
"I'll tell you what, it's yours to keep free of charge if you're willing to hear whoever is telling you to kill all goblins, and if you can't stand it you're more than welcome to return it back whenever you like" said the black smith.
"Sounds great" said Vicky as she and everyone is use to their share of curses, hexes, and other damning artifacts and spells casted on them and on others.
"Excuse me you got anything that may serve useful for a necro- I mean a mage" asked Brian.
"Yeah, I can show you some things we got here" said the black smith as he pulled some things from behind the counter and placed it in front of Brian.
"Right here are you basis needed to craft anything from a staff, wands, and in some cases books, with that being said it would take me about a day to prepare while any other parts or modifications are more entirely dependent on you having to search I'm afraid" said the black smith his selection mainly consisted of crystals and cog gears and small native like charms.
"You wouldn't happen to have something on the lines of say… cursed or even owned by some big bad guy who was feared now would you" asked Brian as the black smith raised a brow.
"Son you do realize what you're asking right" asked the black smith, "Yeah" said Brian nonchalantly which worried the black smith even more.
"I may have something, but son I need you to understand that what I'm about to show you is something dangerous to not only the user, but potentially to the whole damn world, and even then I'm not sure I'm willing to make a deal, nor am I sure why the hell I'm willing to show this to you" said the black smith.
"It's cool, my friends can deal with cursed stuff or stuff used by bandits it's fine" said Brian as he did had a valid point.
"Ok, hang tight everyone, Darkness mind giving me a hand in the back" asked the black smith, "Of course" said Darkness as they made their way to the back of the store as they were gone for a few minutes.
Upon emerging back into the main shop the black smith carried with him something covered in torn paper and bobbed wire with the words 'Don't read' written in blood.
"In my hand, I carry with me the infamous book Necronomicon Ex Mortis" said the black smith as everyone in the room had chills over hearing this, well almost everyone.
"Hold on a minute, why do you have something so evil like this in your shop" asked Aqua as she easily sensed the bad juju coming from the book and was more than ready to purify it back to the fiery pits of hell.
"Yeah that's fucking bitching man" said Amira excitingly as that was not the mood and tone people wanted to hear given how infamous this book is.
"I only have this book because a long time ago, this city was founded on top of an old kingdom that was saved by El Jefe, the one who came from the sky to deliver us from all that is evil and damned from this accursed book" said the black smith.
"Since then, it has remained in secrecy to all but those who've been born and raised here since our ancestors had fought alongside El Jefe" said the black smith before Oz went to pick up and examine the book.
"What do you think Oz" asked Vicky as he began to remove the paper and bobbed wire before looking at the cover of the book, made from human flesh, before opening it.
"Out of curiosity this El Jefe person you're talking about, was he depicted wearing a blue button up shirt, a chainsaw, and a boom stick" asked Oz, "Regretfully all history regarding our heroes image has been nearly lost to time as no photo remains of his existence, however it came to an agreement amongst us who know of this book that he was instead a man with red hair and claimed to be soldier, who spoke in a language not known to us" said the black smith.
"I figured as such" said Oz as he handed the book to Brian who looked at him waiting to hear his final verdict.
"It's safe man, we literally got nothing to fear" said Oz bluntly as this got everyone confused.
"How can you be so sure" asked Aqua, "Well if you look at the second page, it states right here that this book is but 3rd edition copy, and to my knowledge of understanding each reprint edition of the Necronomicon Ex Mortis that is generally tend to be weaker than the last one, however with that being said this book is a 3rd edition, while not the original copy, it's still one of the more powerful editions to have at hand" explained Oz.
"You're telling me that there's more copies of this accursed book" exclaimed the black smith, "Yeah, in fact I'm pretty sure they hand out pamphlets of these like at the corner streets, with actual written passages" said Vicky.
"Oh yeah I remember how this one time Damien and I went jump one of those crier boys on the street and used one of those passages to cause the local police station cops have to fight an army of themselves that about the size of my middle finger" said Amira as she saw this an excuse to flip everyone off.
This was a lot of information to take in, and more so a lot of questions the black smith had that he had the feeling won't be answered today.
"So how much you want for this thing" asked Brian as he looked at the black smith who looked completely beat after hearing all this and then some.
"It… scares me to know that there are more copies of this book that exist, I'm not gonna lie, however you kids seem familiar and more knowledgeable than I or anyone else here in this world for that matter, and I'm taking a chance here by not only entrusting this book to you, but letting it be used again, as for the price of this thing" said the black smith as he eyed Kazuma.
"Kazuma, I'm willing to loan this book to you guys, in exchange that whatever new patented invention you decide to make, and that'll make a lot of money, I expect partnership on the thing, otherwise I'm going to have your priest friend do us the favor and annihilating this thing for good" said the black smith.
"Oz, is what you're saying a 100% true" asked Kazuma as he too was tempted to have Aqua just destroy the book as well.
"Take my word Kazuma" said Oz before putting his hand up so no one else can hear what he had to say next, "I was there to witness them creating the first original copy".
"Ok…" said Kazuma as he looked at the black smith, "Alright man we got a deal".
"Alright sounds good, anything else I can get you in terms of wardrobe son" asked the black smith to Brian, "I'll take this green and black muffler too" said Brian as he began to wrap the large scarf around his face.
"And now, I guess all that is left is whatever the expert of the book of the dead wants to buy" said the black smith.
In reality, Oz had no idea what to choose, since his class but nonexistent till today and even then, he had no idea as to what he can and can't do and what would be considered his flaws or weaknesses when out in battle.
He did however needed to get himself an outfit before he went out on adventures, and he actually found something that caught his eye.
"For starters I like to get this" said Oz as he picked himself an orange yellow coat, that's been marked down 90% off, "Hm, interesting choice of clothes, but I yield, anything else I can get you" asked the black smith.
"Yeah just give me a few minutes here" said Oz as he began to explore around the shop before he grabbed but a little bit of everything, of the stuff he grabbed was, a walking cane with a hidden blade function, and for some odd reason a small book of poems with no authors name to it or even a title to the book other than a big letter 'V'.
"Quite a bit of interesting things you got here" said the black smith, "Truth be said, I've no idea as to what weapons I'll be proficient in if my class type is suppose to even use these weapons" said Oz.
"Well tell me, what is your class type" asked the black smith, "Something called the scholar class" said Oz.
"Scholar class" asked the black smith, "Yeah it's weird, and frankly I don't even have an idea what this class entices" said Oz.
"Well, you're more than welcome to comeback and exchange for the goods I got here to help better suit you and your friends in future adventures" said the black smith before they all finalized on the payment before finally going on a quest.
Kono Suba
Back out in the outer borders of town, the members of team Kazuma and team Player Characters are facing up against a common enemy, giant frogs.
"Is this seriously what you had in mind for us to face Kazuma" asked Brian, "Cause seriously man what the fuck, I was expecting we'd be facing off against wolves, bears, and bad guys here" said Amira.
"Hey looks can be deceiving" said Kazuma as he knows from experience, "What's not so deceiving is Oz's choice of clothes and weapons" said Aqua as Oz had been glued to reading his small book of poem since he bought it, as he causally gave Aqua the bird.
"Can I please kill the bitch" said Amira, "Maybe later, for now, get that frog" said Kazuma as Aqua felt betrayed that Kazuma would casually let someone walk up to her and kill her.
"Alright then, hey you over grown reptile, get the fuck over here so I can send your slimy ass back to hell" said Amira as she made her way to meet up against the frog.
As the frog began to hop its way towards Amira, it stopped close enough to launch its tongue at her, but instead of trying to consume and usually cover her in slime like they're known for doing in the past, Amira showed everyone she was boss when she grabbed it's tongue mid air.
"Come here" said Amira pulling the frog in closer towards her as she began to gain momentum and swung her mighty sledge hammer at the amphibian and knocked it all the way to the next kingdom over, like literally since like 3 days later word would spread how giant frog came falling from the sky and crushed a goat farmer and 2 of his goats to death.
"Hell yeah I'm, a badass" boasted Amira as she began to flex and pose to taunt more of the frogs to come and get her.
"Don't be hogging all the fun now" said Vicky as she came running from out of nowhere before bringing her sword up and swiftly brought it back down to slice a frog in half.
"That was awesome Vick" said Amira as both went up to fist bump each other before they exploded their fist like badasses normally due.
"Alright, now I'm pumped up" said Brian as he began to join in on the fun as he ran into the battlefield, "Brian you're a necromancer, you're skills are better used at a distance" called Kazuma.
"Looks like zombie boy is going to get eaten" snickered Aqua, "Aqua, I think you've been rude to everyone, especially Brian, long enough" said Darkness, "Ditto" said Megumin as she was itching to join in on the fun but wanted to see what Brian can do.
And what he can do is currently but one spell, but it sure as hell was a powerful one as he ran up to frog and brought up a fist to punch it, but as he did, yellow and green flames began to envelope his fist.
Soon a big roaring flame consisting of yellow and green flames had completely incinerated the frog before it decided to kill over.
"Brian that was epic man" said Amira, "Total badass status right there" said Vicky as they all cheered for each other.
"Alright real talk, they're definitely upstaging us all right now" said Kazuma dejectedly as he always envied to someday be part of a badass team, granted he is but just like how in spite of the girls looks on the outside was something to be desired, the same couldn't be said on the outside.
"So long as I can cast explosion any time soon, I'm not complaining" said Megumin with a smile, "Oh how I envy your simple needs" said Kazuma sarcastically.
"Kazuma does have a point, I fear we might never get to endure the hardships of being torn asunder by ravenous wolves or even be beaten to near death by a pack of goblins" said Darkness.
"Ok seriously, you need to get laid by someone more sadistic than me" said Kazuma as what Darkness said was borderline a group suicide thing done by crazy cultists.
"I'm just gonna go on ahead then" said Oz as they completely forgot he was standing next to them.
"Come on Oz, we got one saved just for you buddy" said Brian with more spirit than he has previously shown as a yellow frog was approaching him.
"Alright, here goes nothing" said Oz as he began to charge forward and lunged at the giant frog with his cane sword, with a direct hit to the nose.
Unfortunately this had no affect as the frog lifted its head along with Oz and swallow him whole.
"Oz" shouted everyone who worried, sans Aqua, as Vicky was the first one to run up and save him from being digested.
Successful in killing the creature, Oz came crawling out covered in frog slime and smelled.
"Oh god that reeks" said Amira, "Oz are you ok" asked Brian as soon team Kazuma was there to join them, "Yeah, just covered in slime is all" Oz said dejectedly.
"No worries bud, we're done here for the day, let's return back to the guild and collect our reward" said Vicky as the team made the walk back into town.
In spite of the small little hiccup at the end, overall it was what a successful day and something tells Kazuma things are about to get a whole lot interesting.
Another chapter done and down people, be honest I think we all felt bad for Oz towards the end, and while the class I gave him was confusing, with me forgetting to add context as to what made him special in the last chapter, overall the scholar class is my definition and take to the jack-of-all-trades class or what some may call the blue mage class, so kinda like Kazuma, except more badass just wait and see guys.
Anyways I hope you guys liked this chapter, cause next chapter we go back to the world of Monster Prom to see how the students are reacting with how some of their friends and rejected love interest to few handle knowing what happened, with the introduction of one more character, here's a hint she's legit the actual perfect gender bend version of your Humble Narrator, if I was still back in highschool and was covered in tentacles.
Until next time everyone, be safe, be good people, and please support your local fandom communities.
This has been your Humble Narrator and official author Tobi Yaza. =3