No Burzek I hear...oh well, hope this makes up for it.

Kevin's phone buzzed and he quickly sent a response keeping his face completely neutral.

He moaned as they mounted the steps to the District about the never-ending cold. It was supposed to be spring and yet the temperature still hovered at the bottom end of the scale. It had to warm up eventually.

Ruzek was frustratingly cold blooded. This was his kind of weather. He whinged about the heat and thrived in the cold. "Suck it up Kevin. It will be hot as Hades soon and you'll be able to get your guns out for the ladies." He swore that was Kevin's main issue with the cold, he couldn't woo the ladies with all his assets buried under layers of clothes.

"Adam." The sweetest voice gasped as Atwater held open the door and let him through. "Adam."

The moment Trudy saw the smile on his face she knew they were doing the right thing.

Makayla scrambled down from the chair she was propped up at the desk on and shot around the counter and threw herself into Adam's waiting arms. "Hey Darlin' what are you doing here?" He scooped her up, planting a kiss on her warm cheek.

"Drawing with Trudy." Makayla had her legs wrapped around Adam's waist and her arms firmly around his neck. He was grinning from ear to ear as was Makayla. She had the most beautiful smile. It had taken a few weeks for her to feel comfortable in her new surroundings to let her happy personality come out and when it did it was beautiful.

"Really? I hope you are making her color in the lines?"

"We are being careful."

"What are you drawing?" He carried her towards the desk and saw all her colorful pencils scattered everywhere. "Oh my favourite. A Fairy."

"It's not your favorite." Makayla scoffed. "You like Elephants."

"That I do Darlin'." He looked around quickly and caught Trudy's eye.

"I'm just minding her while Kim had to run out to deliver something to the Ivory Tower. Why don't you take her upstairs, she doesn't need to hang out down here with the all the riff raff of Chicago society."

Adam sat Makayla up on the counter. "What you say Little Mak? Stay here with Trudy or upstairs with me?" He nodded his head towards the stairs, his eyes alive and dancing for the first time in weeks.

"Upstairs." She clapped.

Setting her down on her feet he waited a moment while Trudy packed up her pencils and drawings and handed them over and he slung her backpack over one arm. Makayla slipped her hand in his as they headed towards the stairs. She looked up at Adam and smiled. "Do you have candy?"

"I've always got candy for you." He punched in the code and swung open the gate. "Don't tell Kim."

"Oh, she doesn't let me have candy."

"She doesn't let me have it either."

Totally engaged in his conversation with Makayla he'd forgotten all about Atwater who had just stood back and watched the interaction and so Adam missed the fist bump that he gave Trudy on the way past.

"I climbed right to the top of the jungle gym and I wasn't even scared." Makayla told him as he slipped his coat off and hung it over the back of his chair. "It was very, very high." She sighed.

"So you are a monkey?" He tickled her cheek. "Or are you a Koala?"

"I'm a kolala." Not quite able to get her tongue around the word. "Kim bought me a knew book. About Elephants, can you read it?"

"Sure. Is it in your bag?"

"No at home. We read it when I go to bed. You could read it to me too."

Adam winked. "You never know your luck in the big city."

"Huh?" Makayla squinted a little.

Sitting down at him desk Adam patted his leg and Makayla happily climbed up into his lap and he pulled out her coloring book and pencils. "Now let's finish this Fairy."

"For your house? You can take it home?"

"I would love it. Straight to the fridge it goes." He breathed her in a little as her curls bounced around while she concentrated on the task at hand. The smell of her shampoo, right under his nose was a shampoo he knew well. Closing his eyes he exhaled slowly.

It had been a long few weeks and he did miss her, he missed both of them and he missed the hours spent just being around them. On the other hand he also felt settled and content and in control. He didn't need to constantly worry that he'd say or do the wrong thing, he didn't need to prove himself to anyone, he could just go about his life without any extra stress. This job provided enough stress and for now that was all he could handle.

Would it always be enough, probably not but he felt like he just had to fix himself and be happy with himself first. This was who he was, imperfect but honest, loyal and dedicated to his job and the oath he took to serve and protect. Not only those he loved but those he had never seen or met before. He had his faults, he was quick to react, he could push the boundries and go to the edge and he didn't communicate well and he knew this and he probably wasn't exactly proving people wrong by shutting himself off from everyone. It had also been pointed out to him quite bluntly by one particular desk sergeant.

'If you weren't so utterly male you'd realise that just agreeing to whatever the women says, and in your case, if you are in any doubt I am talking about Burgess, is not helpful or useful and quite frankly is bordering on pathetic at this stage.'

"Gee, don't hold back there Sarge." Adam rocked back on his heels. He had come to the desk for a phone number of a contact she had at the 35th. He hadn't counted on a berating about his personal life or lack there of.

"Here's a tip for free, the rest I will charge for, when a woman…" she paused for a moment… "Say, her name is Kim for shits and giggles, says something like, I don't know… let's push back the wedding date the correct answer does not, in any way shape or form include the word 'okay'. Okay?"

"Okay." He responded flatly.

"Don't be a smart ass, this is exactly why you are sad and alone and pathetic."

"Well thank you."

"Get it together. Tell her what you want, beyond, let's date. You can't go back to dating, you are past that." She had obviously been talking to Kim.

"I thought dating is what you did when you were like working out things." He was a little clueless on that part. The exact definition of what he wanted. Dating, working it out, giving it another shot all sounded like perfectly reasonable definitions to him.

"Dating is what you do to some random chick you latch onto down the local bar, a couple of weeks, some fun, some hot sex and then you cut them loose or they cut you loose because, let's face it you aren't a catch with that mopey I'm in love with another woman force field you surround yourself with. Do something about it or drop it, it's getting old."

Adam rolled his eyes. He glanced around and it seemed that most of the foyer had stopped to hear his roasting. "I am so enjoying this. Nobody pontificates like you."

"Zip it Princess." Platt did not care who heard it. "Tell her you want it all and be specific. You want a future where she is in it every day?"

"Yes."

"Then, sunshine, tell her that." Trudy dismissed him. "It's like talking to pre-schoolers." She muttered as Adam sheepishly disappeared up the stairs to the safety of the bullpen. The way Kevin smirked at him as he took his seat at his desk Adam realised voices really did carry up those stairs.

That, and he swore that those two were cooking something up.

"Adam." Makayla shrieked. "That's not in the lines."

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "No it isn't. It's new lines and you should color it in." He had drawn of love heart on the top of the page under her name. "It's a love heart." Makayla grabbed the red pencil and filled the heart with bright red color.

"Can you write your name?"

"How about I write my name on this piece of paper and you can copy it?" He opened his note book and wrote his name which Makayla diligently copied on their drawing. She then grabbed his note book and wrote her own name beneath his and drew a heart.

"So you don't forget me."

He would never forget her. The grip she had on his heart was immense. Whether she was here for a short time or a long time, everyone's lives were better because of her presence.

Kim didn't take the front stairs, she came up through the back so nobody heard her coming. She wanted to drop the envelope that she had to deliver to Voight back on his desk and then was going to scoot downstairs, grab Makayla and head home.

She stopped on a dime when she heard Makayla's voice coming from the Bullpen. "Are you coming for dinner?"

"I don't think so Darlin'." The way he called her Darlin' melted her heart. He rarely called her that anymore, that was not where they were at, even before the shit hit the fan but he called Makayla Darlin' and she loved it as much as Kim did.

"Why? I will make you ice-cream." They had spent one night making sundae's after dinner. Makayla had insisted on making one for each of them and they weren't allowed to peak. Kim set all the ingredients on the bench and they sat in the lounge with their backs to the kitchen while she put it together. It had sprinkles, gummy bears, chocolate drops, sugar candy and lashings of chocolate sauce. "You like that."

"I do like that." He agreed. "How about on the weekend I come pick you up and take you out to get an ice-cream. Just you and me?"

Makayla nodded. "And Kim?"

Adam baulked.

"Hey Burgess." Atwater finally broke up the little moment. He'd watched her arrive and stop and watch them together. Both Adam and Makayla's head snapped up and now she was busted she stepped out of the hallway into the bullpen.

"Hi."

Adam helped Makayla down off his lap and she ran to Kim, wrapping her arms around her legs and Kim brushed her hair lightly. "Have you had fun up here?"

"Yes. I made Adam a picture. It's a fairy, and I drew a heart in his book so he won't forget me."

"I am sure he won't forget you."

"And we are going out for Ice-cream and you can come too." Kim looked at Adam who had his head down working. It was now getting awkward. The longer they didn't speak the harder it was going to be to bridge that gap.

When he got up and headed to the Locker Room Kevin indicated that she should follow him and that Makayla could come with him to the vending machine. "I don't know Kev."

"Now or never Kim. The ball is in your court." He reached for the little girls hand and didn't even bother to wait for a response.

Taking a deep breath she followed him and closed the door of the locker room. He was obviously in one of the stalls so she waited until he came out. Stopping to wash his hands he closed his eyes for a moment in an attempt to make sure his voice was rock steady and full of forced lightness. "Makayla kinda ambushed me into taking her out for Ice-cream. That's if it's okay with you."

"Sure. She really misses you. We…."

He tossed the paper towel in the bin and stepped around Kim and she literally felt the air escape from her lungs. It all still felt so cold and distant between them. When it wasn't about work, it was nothing. "How does Sunday morning work for you?"

"Sure."

"You wanna come too?"

"I do."

Adam just nodded and walked out, leaving Kim both deflated and excited. It was something at least, and she knew there was no way he'd make the offer if he thought that it would be anything but fun for Makayla. He wouldn't do that to her, that much she knew. It was the tiniest of cracks, the smallest sliver of light peaking through. There was a spring in her step when she emerged from the locker room a few minutes after Adam had. Kevin looked at her, he'd looked at Adam and got absolutely nothing but Kim had a little smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

The train was leaving the station again, creaky wheels and all…he had to let Trudy know.

One thing they knew they had to do was not push too hard. Trudy had said her piece to Adam. He'd taken it, filed it away and still kept the walls up.

She also told Kim what she thought. "How could you say that? Even if you thought it? I swear you ruin everything." Kim felt like she'd been hit between the eyes. A familiar feeling because that's exactly how she felt when Adam unleashed on her a few weeks ago.

Kevin had basically told Trudy what had gone down. The moment they both walked into the District the next day she knew the earth had shifted on it's axis. Kim had tried the watered down version of events and Adam said nothing.

"I was worried about him?"

"You always do this though don't you? Doubt him, oh he doesn't want to marry you…" Trudy waved her arms wildly as she mocked her. She had eventually heard the truth about that little incident. "…did he ever say that?"

"Well, not in so many words?"

"So he didn't say it at all, I know very well where that bullshit came from. Sean, let me get into my partners pants, Roman. I thought though, well she's immature, she'll learn from it. Obviously not, because here we are five years later still doing the same old thing. Falling into him, reeling him in because it's easy and comfortable and you know he's there waiting and in love with you and then the moment you might have to commit to something you run. Your problem Kim is you wanted the wedding, you just didn't want the marriage. Him, well he was just plain stupid and did whatever you said because he wanted to make you happy."

"I did want to marry him, he…." Those defensive walls she was trying to quash came up so easily.

"Did you? Really? I am finding that increasingly hard to believe." Trudy didn't stop, it was savage and came in a never ending wave and Kim had nowhere to go to escape it. "And now, you want the person to hang out with, cuddle up with, get your rocks off with and as soon as it looks like you might have to label it you run away like a scared little girl. Grow up, trust me, you will probably never find someone who is as good for you as Adam Ruzek. Sure he's no picnic, but neither are you. He's a downright pain in my ass, but he's loyal, to a fault but funnily enough I'd pick him to save my ass over you if push came to shove." That was a stunning revelation. She always thought Platt would be on her side, no matter what. "You don't need the perfect man, you need the perfect man for you. And you know what, this time it might just to be too god damn late. Perhaps you actually need to lose him to realise what you've actually lost. Up until now, you've never actually lost him have you?"

Trudy may not have shut a door on her but Kim still stood there with a slightly stunned expression on her face until she realised that Trudy had said her piece and walked away. Not before she muttered. "I swear to god you will be the death of me. I don't think you will actually be able to afford the alcohol bill at your wedding once I start."

Kevin had been a lot more gentle with her but the message was the same. He was hurt, he felt betrayed and if she wanted to fix it then she'd have to do the heavy lifting. Kevin also asked her if she could imagine a world without Adam in it. If she could imagine her world without him in it.

"No."

"Then girl, suck up your pride, drop the defensive attitude and get to work. Otherwise that's precisely the world you'll be living in."

It was easier said than done. She had work, which in itself was intense and exhausting and Makayla and that didn't leave a lot of time for anything else. And then Adam didn't make it easy for her, she couldn't even get past hello most days.

He sent her a message to say he was downstairs waiting for them when he came to pick them up for their Ice-cream date. Kim replied that they were running a few minutes late and he could come up but Adam refused. He would just wait by his car.

Leaning against the hood he crossed his legs and spent a few minutes scrolling through his phone. "Adam." His head snapped up and he put the phone back in his pocket as he heard his name and a smile spread across his face, crinkling up the very corners of his eyes. Makayla came barrelling out of the door and ran straight towards him. He scooped her up, planting a big kiss on her cheek.

"Good Morning Darlin'. Are you ready?"

"I am." She wiggled free and he opened the back door to help Makayla climb in. Kim was stunned to see the booster seat already in the back. They had talked about purchasing another one for his car before it all went to shit but hadn't gotten around to it yet. Adam had wanted Makayla to pick one out herself, but he had obviously just gone and done it.

"Oh, it's purple. That's my favorite." Makayla stroked the side of the booster seat.

"I know." He touched her nose playfully. "My purple princess."

"No, I'm your purple Darlin'." She had even picked up his pronunciation of Darlin.

"My bad. You are indeed."

Kim had been a few steps behind Makayla and missed most of what they were talking about so she stood awkwardly on the pavement unsure what to do with herself and the booster seat she had in her hands. "I'll chuck it in the back if you like." He reached out and took it from her. It was the only words he'd said to her other than a brief 'Hi.'

"You ready Darlin'?" Adam looked at Makayla as he climbed into the driver's seat. "What shall we sing?" It was there thing, they'd turn the music up loud and belt out a tune. "Find us a song." He handed her his old phone which he kept in the car and used as an iPod so that Makayla could choose their songs. It was always chaotic and Kim struggled to get used to it. Once a song was on she liked to listen to it until the end. Adam and Makayla would bounce around half was through to another song. Her OCD brain always felt like it was going to explode yet today she loved it.

Getting out of the car, Makayla stood between both of them and held their hands. Adam glanced at Kim quickly and he could see the conflict on her face. When she turned her head they both smiled and then looked away.

It was fun, it was hard not to have fun with Makayla. They had ice-cream then hit the playground and Kim watched Adam chase her around for a while and then joined in when Makayla begged her to come. Kim looked at Adam and he just shrugged. If that's what she wanted then he was fine with that.

Makayla crashed in the car on the way home and Adam lifted her out and carried her upstairs, laying her on her bed. He tucked her platypus up under her arm and made sure she settled back to sleep. Kim was standing nervously in the kitchen when he came out.

"Okay, see you tomorrow." He stepped towards the door.

"You could stay for dinner. Makayla would love it. We are making pizzas."

Adam paused for a moment. "Thanks, but I've got plans." He lied. It had been hard enough already. He needed to not be here anymore because he wanted to tell her that he missed her but he realised that it would be letting her get away with it again. He never pushed back against her, he was always willing to just step back into her and not deal with all the previous times she'd doubted him and pushed him away. He only had himself to blame for letting it get to this point but he had to stand up for himself because he just couldn't let himself get hurt again. "Tell Makayla I'll see her soon."

"Adam." Kim stepped towards him. He stepped back and the words Kim had been going to say died on her lips. Her apology would feel weak here, forced and that moment needed more. Kim knew he would never talk about it with even the slightest chance that Makayla might wake up. What they did know about her life before she crashed into theirs was that it hadn't been a calm life and they had talked about that early on, the need to make a calm life for Makayla. "Thanks for today, it meant the world to her."

"I had fun." He flipped the keys in his hands nervously. "I missed… her." And then he turned and left.

Kim was in a state of despair. It was all so confusing. They'd had fun, they'd laughed and Adam had even caught her around the waist and swung her around while Makayla cheered them on. It felt normal for the briefest of moments. It felt like it should, it felt like what she wanted more than anything. All those things she told Adam she wanted, she could've had it with him, if only she wasn't so damn scared to let him all the way in.