As the three of them slowed behind the great line of semi-trucks, Christine rolled onto the shoulder, seeing nothing but trucks for miles.
Well, this is new. Thunder remarked. Are you sure Cooter told you to meet him at the Boar's Nest?
I'm sure, he specifically said. The only thing is, I don't think Hazzard's seen this much traffic since the march of Sherman. Christine replied, backing towards Thunder.
Why don't you go ahead and ask a Defect what's going on?
Will do.
Where is she going? Rig whimpered.
Not far, buddy, she'll be right back. Thunder explained.
Be right back.
As Christine rolled along the shoulder she listened for any Defect to call for her attention. Sure enough, it didn't take long for one to notice her. The shiny Kenworth honked its horn at her and growled.
What, you think you're better than everyone else? Get back in line! The Kenworth growled.
Actually, you're just the truck I was looking for. Christine rumbled sweetly.
I… I am?
Mmhm, I wanted to ask you something.
Oh, heh, is it about my chrome polish?
Hah! No. All I want to know is what's going on with all of these trucks.
The Kenworth sank a little. A diesel station went up right next to some local bar here. Now, everyone's scrambling to get there. Without that new one, the next station's over forty miles away in Atlanta.
So you'd rather wait in line for hours than drive an extra forty miles.
Hey, when you're low on fuel, every inch counts.
Christine sighed. Thanks for your help, I'll see you around.
Looking forward to it.
With that, she turned and went back to Rig and Thunder. As she pulled into their spot in line in front of Rig, Thunder rolled up to her.
Well? He asked.
Christine sighed once more. Turns out all this fuss is about a new diesel station they put up close to the Boar's Nest. Apparently, you can't find another one until you get to Atlanta.
Wonderful, so how long are we in this line for?
A long time.
Thunder sighed this time and groaned.
What's the matter, you got somewhere to be?
No, I'd just rather not spend the entire day waiting in line for something that I don't even need.
Why does that feel so relatable?
I don't know.
—
It was late noon, and Thunder leaned out over the ditch to look ahead. The Boar's Nest was just a few hundred feet away. His heart sank as he realized that the new diesel station wasn't close to the Boar's Nest, it was the Boar's Nest.
Oh Lord. Thunder groaned.
What is it? Christine asked.
Diesel station is the Boar's Nest, and it is packed!
Who's manning the pumps?
Cooter and Cletus.
That's it?
Thunder turned back to look ahead of the line at the sound of a Dixie horn. He watched General Lee and a patrol car roar into the parking lot, quickly squeezing tight to the building. Enos climbed out of his patrol car and took off running towards Cletus and Cooter. Bo, Luke, and Daisy climbed out of General Lee and ran after him. Thunder watched as Cletus dropped the fuel nozzle he was holding and began to fall backward. Enos and Luke both caught him before he hit the ground. The two of them hauled him up and drug him inside the Boar's Nest. Bo took over the vacant pump, ushering in another truck.
As the line moved forward, trucks revved their engines and honked their horns impatiently. Thunder and Christine grew anxious.
This is crazy, how can there be so many? Christine asked incredulously.
I can't say that I've seen worse but I'll have you know that I've been around the block a few times. Thunder explained.
Convoy! Rig sang.
No, Rig, after the convoy.
But you're older.
Not by much, we were born just a few days apart.
Rig gasped. I have a birthday?
Y-yeah, you have a birthday.
When?
I don't know, when were you born?
A few days after you.
Thunder sighed, studying the truck. After a minute or so, Thunder once again groaned. I'm an idiot.
What makes you say that? Christine asked him.
Thunder gestured to the blood on Rig's grill.
Oh…
At the Boar's Nest, Daisy went to tend to Cletus as Enos and Luke left to man the remaining two diesel pumps.
"Praise the Lord, I thought y'all would never get here!" Cooter exclaimed.
"Sorry, we got held back. Bit more traffic than what we're used to!" Bo called back.
Cooter laughed. "Wouldn't ya know it? Boss Hogg puts in some diesel pumps at the Boar's Nest and a thousand trucks come roarin' through here every hour!"
As a driverless Kenworth pulled into Luke's station, they all exchanged glances. Luke looked at the rest of them.
"What'd you say Boss Hogg was chargin' for fuel?" He asked.
Cooter hesitated for a moment. "Too much."
"How much you wanna bet he'll blow his top sky-high when he learns Defects are startin' to come through here?"
Luke began to fill the Kenworth up with diesel, and so the line continued to come through. After about a half-hour or so, Daisy took Cooter's place, his hands now raw and blistered. As she did so, two familiar Defects and a filthy, driverless Peterbilt rolled into the parking lot. The Peterbilt backed behind the building, and Thunder and Christine rolled up, being careful not to disturb the refueling trucks.
"Sorry, y'all are gonna have to wait 'til Cooter gets back." Bo explained to them.
Thunder and Christine flashed their lights at him signaling that they understood and went to go speak with General. The stock car gestured to the back-side of the building, and they followed him around back.
As they circled around back, General was startled by the appearance of Rig.
What is this doing here? General yelped.
That's Rig, he's a Defect, we go a ways back, just don't ask him to do much, highest he can count is five. Thunder explained.
Eighteen. Rig corrected.
Whatever.
Listen, we've got a big problem here in case you can't tell. Christine butted in.
Right, the Defects at the diesel pumps. General replied.
Boss Hogg won't be too happy when he figures out that he's losing money because of Defects. Worse yet, he might no longer want us around because of it.
Well, he was straight for a little while, and it was good while it lasted. Too bad it had to end so soon.
The other Defects agreed.
Thunder thought for a moment. What if it doesn't have to be that way?
What're you getting at, Thunder? General asked.
Well, Boss Hogg thinks that he can get rich quick by putting overpriced fuel pumps in a convenient spot, which he can. However, what would happen if no one was here to man the pumps?
So what, like an involuntary strike? Christine asked.
Exactly. Now, you think you could round up the others, we're going to need everyone for this job.
Of course!
General, you help Christine. I'm going to go get Rig cleaned up so he doesn't accidentally give someone a heart attack.
Rig laughed. I'm scary!
Not for long.
With that, he led Rig away, General and Christine leaving to go round up the rest of General Lee's Army.
—
As the Army sat congregated in the clearing, General drove up onto the large central rock and honked his horn to get their attention.
Stripes revved his engine mockingly. Quiet everyone, his majesty is calling us to order. Order in the court!
He who dareth disobey shall be shunneth, foremost from the hearing. Herbie joined in.
Trigger rolled in between them. And the noble knight shall smacketh the both of you if you don't shut your traps.
Thank you, Trigger. General remarked. Anyway, I've gathered you all here tonight to give you each an assignment regarding business.
What kind of business? Stripes asked.
Boss Hogg kind. Now, regarding the new diesel station at the Boar's Nest, as far as we know, Boss Hogg has Cletus, Enos, Cooter, Bo, Luke, and Daisy volunteered to work them. That means that the seven of us need to contain six people. Stripes, you're going to watch Cletus. Trigger, I'm going to station you at Enos' place. Herbie and Christine, you monitor the Davenport farm. Thunder and I will watch over the Duke farm.
What about Rig? Thunder asked. He gets separation anxiety when I'm not with him.
I'm sure he'll be fine by the barn while we patrol the farm.
Thunder didn't reply but simply flashed his lights, signaling that he was alright with it.
Right then, you all have your assignments. Get moving before any one of them decides to take a midnight drive.
A few of them honked their horns, before taking off. As General rolled down off his rock, Thunder drove to his side, Rig following close behind. The three of them drove in silence out to the Duke farm.
When they arrived, Rig took his place beside the barn, and Thunder and General proceeded to circle the farm. The two Defects created large clouds of dust as they did. Every hour, the Army reported to their general. Every hour, it was the same thing. As the clock struck five, General watched as Luke walked out of the house.
He began walking towards the barn, but General stopped him. Luke flinched, putting a hand on the car's hood. General revved his engine, pushing him back towards the house. Luke stumbled, trying to avoid being run over.
"General… General stop." Luke argued.
General shoved Luke onto the front steps, being careful not to hurt him.
"I see what you're doin' now. You wanna stop me from goin' to the Boar's Nest."
General hummed to let Luke know he was correct.
"Well, you can forget it. Boss Hogg won't be gettin' any free help from us anytime soon."
General scoffed at him and gestured to the house with his hood.
Luke turned and looked to the house before averting his gaze downward. "If you know what's good for them, you'll let me be alone."
Reluctantly, General backed away slowly. He watched as Luke got up, and began walking to the barn.