Author's Note: Double Chapter day! I've been jumping around as I write and I finally made myself figure out the introduction chapters. Hopefully you enjoy it! Let me know what you think!

Chapter 3: The Commander

Shocks of pain erupted behind my eyes and I groaned feeling instantly nauseous. A cool hand was placed on my forehead and I felt healing magic sooth the pain and I sighed softly. As the hand lingered, I felt a darker presence grow, like a pack of wolves gathering around the edge of my thoughts. I tried to pull away and whimpered as the presence grew but felt as though my body was too heavy. Darkness enclosed and a hundred hungry eyes seemed to be staring at me, overlapping voices whispering in the darkness "Nan, Harel, Fen!" [Vengeance, Trickery, Wolf] until I was surrounded by a cacophony of wailing and screaming.

"Fenedhis!" My scream jolted me awake, and I seemed to already be sitting up. My vision was spotty as the vision faded and I panted heavily, feeling the like air was too thin to take full breaths. I hung my head in my hands to try and steady myself. What was that. Was that real? I ran my hands through my hair – fingers catching in some small knots – and noticed my hands were shaking.

CRASH! "Oh!"I looked up and an elven woman was standing in the door, mouth agape, with a box at her feet. Her eyes were wide, "I didn't know you were awake."

"I…okay?" I nodded and swayed from the motion, still light headed. The woman was babbling on and on, backing up towards the door. Suddenly memories came rushing back. "My Sister! Is she alive? Is Rynn alive?"

The woman seemed to look in awe for a moment. "The Herald of Andraste! Yes, she woke up a few days ago. She saved us. The Breach shopped growing when she used her marked hand." After pausing a moment, she seemed to back up, "I'm sure lady Cassandra would want to know you've awakened."

I nodded but the movement made my head spin. I closed my eyes again and groaned in pain. "Where is she?"

"At the Chantry. 'At Once' she said."

My head was still pounding and I realized I should see someone – maybe Solas - to check my head, but as I was about to ask for help, the woman was already running out the door. I had missed my chance.

I stumbled up out of my bed, swaying but moving carefully to the nearby dresser which was topped with jug of cold water and some rags next to a bowl. I soaked the rag and held it against my eyes and forehead until the spinning stopped but the pulsing headache seemed to remain. I peaked open my eyes and blinked a few times to clear my vision.

My stomach dropped. Along the entire right side of my face was a healing magical scar. Blistered skin had already healed and turned white. They looked like lightening marks or a grotesque version of my Vallaslin. I traced the skin with my fingers catching the thin, hair like scars that covered the right side of my face. I traced my eyelid, cheek, lip, and followed the scars as they extended down my neck.

I pulled back the collar of the shirt and then pulled off the shirt all together, standing in just a breastband. I looked in the mirror and saw the white, shiny scars covering my body. It extended down my entire arm and along my stomach. My eyes started to go blurry and I blinked back tears. I turned aroud and looked over my shoulder, seeing the massive scar that ran across my back from shoulder to hip where – I winced - the first attack had hit. My hands shook as I traced the scars over, watching my reflection touch areas that I could barely feel due to the damage. Suddenly I felt so nauseous and like I couldn't breathe. I went to take a breath and let out a sob, which I instantly covered with my hand, shocked by the sound. No, no, no…

A flash of blue sparked in the mirror and I was jolted back into the moment. What….? I rubbed my palms into my eyes - wiping away the dampness that had collected there - and then looked up again. Nothing happened and looking at my reflection made me feel the panic boiling in my chest again. Another flash of blue at my eyes and I jumped. I took a deep breath and leaned in, my reflection squinting in confusion.

Something was wrong.

Another spark of blue magic danced in my eyes. It pulsed around my cornea, ringing my eyes with an unnatural blue halo. I watched as it seemed to spark, dancing along my pale grey retinas. I closed my eyes for a moment, hoping it was just my imagination, and when I opened them again, the blue magic seemed to settle in place, tucked right against my pupil. My headache and nausea faded, perhaps due to the magic or because of my confusion. I backed away from the mirror slowly, glad that from farther away my eyes looked a more natural blue. It was still unnerving, seeing so many drastic changes in my reflection. I closed my eyes and took a breath for a moment, not wanting to get overwhelmed.

I opened my eyes slowly and then held out my hand – leaning back into the mirror to watch my eyes closely – and called a ball of flame magic to reality. As soon as the magic began to form, the sparks around my eyes danced to life. I played with the magic, making the ball smaller made the sparks settle. When I extinguished them, so did the sparks. I raised both hands and summoned a more powerful magic, and watched as my eyes turned almost completely blue with the ethereal light. My magic too seemed to shift color, sparks of that same magic pulsing through my flames and dance up my arms. I let the magic fade and watched as my appearance settled again.

I took a shaky breath. What happened to me? I splashed my face with water. I needed answers.

I quickly finished cleaning myself up and looked around for something fresh to wear. There was set of armour placed on a chair -presumably mine because it was placed next to my stave and there was no sign of my other armour. At least this armour looked like it was built well and warm. The sturdy mage apprentice armour was similar to the armour I had seen others around Haven wear. I tied the grey scarf around my neck and pulled on the jacked-on top. I noticed the boots were lined with fur as I slid my feet in, enjoying the warmth and comfort.

I took one last glance in the mirror – at the scars – and swallowed hard. Time to go.

It was a crisp evening when I finally stepped outside. The sun had just fallen behind the mountains to the west. The lightly falling snow and soft whisps of wind paired with the soft murmur of voices and the cracking of fire felt serene. Snow gently crunched under my boots as I walked through the quiet village, but the few people that still seemed to be out were nodding at me or made a fist over their heart as I passed by. Another strange thing to ask someone about.

I pushed the door open to the Chantry and slipped inside, pulling it closed with a deep thud behind me. I walked slowly, hoping to see if anyone was around. I stopped to speak to a sister – "Seeker Penteghast?" – and she pointed deeper into the Chantry. I saw the other woman from before – Leliana – sitting on a bench and speaking softly with another woman, heads bowed. When I looked up, they looked startled for a moment and then seemed to realize who I was. Must have thought I was Rynn.

Leliana stood. "Good, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Evening." I nodded. "I am… still a bit disoriented to be honest. But there is no pain." Leliana nodded, smiling softly. "Have you seen my sister? How is she?" I asked

"Alive and well. She is on a mission to the Hinterlands and should be back in a few days."

"And Seeker Cassandra?"

"She is with your sister. Varric and Solas as well. Come, let us catch you up." The woman beside her stood up. "This is Lady Josephine Montilyet. She is our Ambassador and Chief Diplomat."

"Andaran atish'an." She spoke in an Antivan accent. My eyebrows flew up.

"You speak Elvish?" I asked, impressed.

"Alas that is the extend of my knowledge. It is a pleasure to meet you at last. I have heard of your skills on the battlefield and fighting that demon at the Breach. We are lucky to have you Lady Lavallen."

"Please, Nimue. Or Nim for short." I held out my hand to shake it like humans do, and was surprised when she grabbed my forearm in the elvish tradition. I beamed up at her and she smiled back.

"Come, there is someone else you should meet." She turned her back and walked into the room at the very back of the building. It was a large room filled predominantly by a large wood carved table. Maps had been pinned down and there were markers in select spots. There were some papers and reports at one end of the table where a man was leaning over to write. As we entered, he looked up and walked forward.

"Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition's Forces." Leliana motioned as a man stepped into the candlelight and I think the word slowed down.

Ohhhhh Gods… He is…..gorgeous.

I heard Leliana clear her throat and nudged me, and I snapped my agape mouthclosed, and reached forward to shake his outstretched hand, which I clearly had not noticed him offering. Lady Montilyet snickered beside me. What is wrong with me!

"Such as they are." He said in a delicious voice, his lips quirking as he responded. Such as what are…. I don't…. oh, wait, he meant the troops. Commander of the troops. Such as they are. Right.

The Commander had a scar along the right of his lip that pulled his mouth slightly as he continued to speak. I couldn't tear my eyes from his lips and I could feel the hot blush creeping up my neck. It was becoming very hard to shut up my own inner monologues and pay attention!

Suddenly my brain caught up. "Wait, Inquisition? What is that?"

"Ah yes." Spoke Lelianna, walking around the other side of the table and we all moved to stand around it as well. "The Breach was not fully closed – only sealed for the moment – and your sisters Mark Is the only hope of closing it. The Inquisition was the Divine's directive to re-react the Inquisition of Old to stand against the growing chaos of our world. And we were needed more than ever. We will close the breach, find those responsible, and restore order."

I nodded along, trying very hard to ignore the man beside me and the goose bumps forming along my arm. "The Inquisition of Old?"

"It preceded the Chantry: People who banded together to restore order in a world gone mad."

"Afterwards it became the Templar Order," spoke the Commander. "But the Templars have forgotten their true purpose."

I peaked back at the Commander. He stood tall and while his posture seemed at ease, though he looked like he could spring into action at a moments notice. He wore dark colored robes with a fur trim over a metal breast plate that caught the twinkling if the candlelight. Leliana's voice drew me back again.

"We must stand united, under a single banner, to do what must be done to fix the chaos of our world."

"And what part does your Chantry play in all of this?" I asked Leliana

"The Chantry will take its time to find a new Divine and wait for her direction. We cannot wait. And we may never get the full support of the Chantry, so for the moment we are alone in this fight."

I closed my eyes as I listened, hearing the passion and urgency in their voices, and forcing myself to really think about what they had said without distraction.

"And my sister? What part does she play as this 'Herald of Andraste?'"

"The people seem to believe it was Andraste herself that helped you two out of the Fade, and that mark is the blessing of Andraste or the Maker. Perhaps a sign that the Maker is returning to his creation. She has already agreed to join the Inquisition – although she seemed to think there was little choice in the matter. We need her Mark to stop the Breach from getting any worse and to close the rifts that have been scattered across the land."

I nodded and the other quieted as they waited for my response in the pregnant silence.

"I would like to help. My sister …..needs help." I opened my eyes to see them smile in relief. "I pledge myself to your Inquisition, to help fight against the chaos."

"Thank you, and welcome," spoke Leliana softly. As our group stood away from the table, Lady Josephine motioned for me to follow her.

"Let's get you set up. Now I apologize for the new armour, but yours was badly damaged and the healers had to cut it away to treat the magical injuries you received during the battle." I watched as the Commander walked through the doorway, his eye flickering to catch mine at the last moment before he was gone from the room. I felt the warmth of a blush creeping up my neck and turned back to the Ambassador.

"Oh no, thank you. It fits well and quite comfortable."

"Good. Now, as for where you will be staying. Unfortunately, space is quite tight at the moment, but we do have a lot of tents. Or you are free to explore and find an empty space for a tent or bedroll. And you can stay in the cabin until your sister and the others return. That is Cassandra's cabin."

"Thank you, I'll have a look around and find a place." She quickly explained where I could get another bedroll and the layout of the town, pointing to one of the smaller maps located on the table.

"If there is anything you need, please seen out myself or any of the other advisors. Now you must be starving. You should head to the tavern." I nodded my thanks and took my leave.

I walked through the Chantry building and into the cold again, staring at the green breach in the sky. I sighed in frustration. "Fenedhis! What have I gotten myself into?"

A deep chuckle to my right made me jump. "Indeed, it is quite a lot to take in." Suddenly the Commander was standing close beside me, bowing slightly and motioning forward with his gloved leather hand. His eyes twinkled. "You must be starving. Please, allow me."

I nodded up at him shyly and began walking forward, while he stood and clasped his arms behind his back in a casual stroll beside me. My heart was fluttering so loud I'm sure the Commander could hear.

"I've met your sister already, and gotten quite the impression of her. You two seem nothing alike. Am I correct in my assumption?"

I laughed dryly. "Indeed, as different as Sylaise the Hearthkeeper and Andruil the Huntress. The Elven gods. My sister and I are…. Unique." I sighed and my breath formed a cloud that drifted up into the stars.

"Its not often children are born in our clans. Rarer still for twins. My sister and I were seen as a blessing to our clan. We were considered lucky, prayers answered from the gods, so we were given extra attention throughout our childhood. We learned much, but we quickly became rivals of sorts."

We continued walking and as the Commander stayed silent, I continued.

"Rynn became an expert warrior and huntress. She is a survivalist and is unafraid of the world or war. She can be quite savage in her ways though, which has gotten us both in trouble over the years. When I found out I was a mage, I thought it was a blessing. I had always grown up in her shadow, but now I could forge my own path in a way she could not prove herself better. I think she resents me for that. Or for not having magic of her own."

"Being a mage does afford certain challenges. I've heard tales of Dalish mages, but I'm embarrassed to say I don't know much of your ways." He was glanced at me from the corner of his eye. "I… was once a Templar… before the Inquisition."

My body went rigid for a moment and I paused in my step, watching him as he continues a few steps before topping and turning to face me, arms down by his side and his palms out. I couldn't hide the expressions of confusion, fear, and disappointment that must have shown on my face from his admission.

"No…" I whispered in disbelief, but it made sense. All I could see now was the Templar in this man. The change must have been visible in my eyes because I saw him wince and avert his eyes shamefully.

"I…. apologize, for not saying something sooner. If you are uncomfortable then please go on without me." I could have left. I should have, but my feet felt like lead. Horror stories of Templars told by my clan filled my head. I remember learning about them – how they cut down mages in the battle field or drag them to a Circle to live the rest of their lives locked away. I remembered seeing them in person the first time, standing guard around the market when my clan had traded with a human village. And the horror of watching an escaped mage being cut down in the middle of the street. Laying bloody and dying all because of the magic he had. I swallowed hard.

"Have you killed many mages?" I asked coldly, in a voice that didn't sound like my own.

I saw him shudder. "Do you know of the Harrowing process?" he deflected.

"Explain." I answered curtly.

"Apprentices….. they are tested. They… tempt a demon. If they resist the demon they pass, and they survive. If they fail, they become Abominations." I shuddered at the thought.

His eyes met mine briefly. "For a long time, my answer would have been no, I've never killed a mage. But…." He took a shaky breath. "I used to believe abominations weren't mages. Or that mages were people to begin with." We winced in unison at his response. "I…. was wrong. I know that now."

I watched him; his honey-colored eyes seemed to dull with the memories of the past. He was still looking down, refusing to meet my eyes. "I cannot undo my past mistakes in how I have treated mages, but I couldn't stay as part of the Templars. Not after…. Not after what I've seen." His hands seemed to shake slightly at the memory, and he balled his fists, the leather of his gloves creaking. "I've seen first hand the suffering that magic can inflict, both on mages and templars. I understand why there was a rebellion and a war to begin with. I am sad to say I did not do enough as a Templar, but with the Inquisition I will do all that I can to help fix it." He looked up again, fire burning in his eyes.

I swallowed hard. He seemed like he was telling the truth. But I didn't know him well enough yet. Seeker Cassandra and Lady Leliana seem to trust him. He must be looking to repent for his past. And he has been nothing but kind and respectful to me so far.

I suppose I would have to learn more about him before judging though. I wasn't sure how I felt about him – or his admission - just yet, although I couldn't deny my attraction to him. I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly while running my fingers through my hair. At least he did tell the truth rather than try to hide it from me. Alright, I'll give him a chance.

I took a rough step forward, my body jolting and moving awkwardly, my foot feeling heavy. The next step came easier and soon I stood beside him. I placed one hand on his arm and he looked up into my eyes, searching. "Thank you for telling me. That was…. Brave." I whispered, smiling tentatively. "I think…." I swallowed. "I haven't met many Templars, but I think you are trying to be better than what you once were." His eyes seemed to brighten at my words. I gently squeezed his arm. "I would like to know you more, Commander. And we shall see how well we get along." Relief washed over his face as I spoke and I felt like it was the right thing to say.

"Of course, anything you wish to know." I nodded, and gently tugged him forward and we continued together.

"Later, then. It sounds like some of your stories might require some fire whiskey." He solemnly nodded and I took a deep breath, trying to lighten the weight his admission had created. "What were we talking about before? I've seemed to have lost my train of thought."

"I believe I had asked you about Dalish mages? But maybe this isn't the best conversation to have at the moment?" He asked tentatively.

"No, it's fine." I quickly spoke of a typical Dalish Clan's structure. "And we only allow three mages in a clan." I lied. Yes, most Dalish Clans only allowed three, but my clan had more than usual. But he didn't need to know the truth until I could trust him. My clan's safety was too important. "There is the Keeper which is the religious and magical leader, Keeper's First – which is like a lieutenant of sorts, and the second, which is the apprentice-in-training. I am my clan's First." He nodded appreciatively at my response but stayed quiet, likely struggling with what to say.

Speaking of my clan I thought of home, wondering If they even knew I survived the conclave and thinking I should contact them about Rynn and myself. Later, first find something to eat.

We had reached a building that seemed to have a bit of activity despite the time of night, which was likely our destination. The Commander moved forward gracefully and opened the door for me. A warm burst of air hit my face accompanied by smells of hot food making me realize how hungry and cold I was. I jumped into the warmth and the Commander motioned towards an unoccupied table off to the side. I settle down into the seat quickly, watching the Commander speak with the bar maiden. I was watching him when I heard a few whispers and listened in.

"Is that her?" the first voice spoke.

"I don't…. no, that must be the sister." The second replied back. "The hair – it's shorter – and different tattoos."

"Oh, that's too bad, I was hoping to see the Herald."

"Well, she looks the same as her. They must be twins."

"Still, I'd rather see the Herald."

"Here you are!" The Commander's voice startled me out of my eavesdropping and I blinked as he handed me a plate of food.

"By the gods this smells wonderful! Ma serannas! Oh! I mean thank you!" He smiled and placed his own plate down. I folded my hands in my lap and bowed my head, reciting a quick prayer of thanks to Sylaise in elvish. When I looked up, Cullen had been watching me, and waited until I took a bite before beginning to eat as well. We ate in silence for a moment, both overcome by a sudden hunger. I watched him eat and he caught my eye, smiling.

"You must have travelled a long way to the Conclave." He mused, "Your accent is not Fereldan."

I laughed, "No, no. I was born in the forests of the Green Dales, north of Minanter River and somewhat near Starkhaven. My clan migrates along the river but we used to trade with Starkhaven frequently. Last I heard, the rightful prince had finally reclaimed his title, so hopefully my clan can head east and trade with the city once again. This time of year, my Clan will be roaming the coast near Wycome."

His eyes twinkled in recognition at my mention of Starkhaven. "Ah yes, I remember Prince Sebastian, he was a companion of Varric's for a time, if I remember correctly. From the few times I met of him; he seemed to be a good man. I'm glad his ascension to the throne will help your clan." I cleared my throat.

"So…. Commander-"

"-Cullen-" he interjected in my pause.

"Cul-len. Cullen." I tested the name in my mouth, and his lip twitched in amusement at how it sounded in my northern accent. "Well. Cullen, your name and accent is most definitely Fereldan. Tell me, where are you from originally?" I took a few more bites of food and chewed as he spoke, he seemed to relax into the rhythm of our conversation and less timid since his earlier announcement.

"I was born on a farm outside a small town in the southwest not to far from here, called Honneleath, but I would say I grew up in the Templar Order. For I time I served at the Circle Tower at Kinloch Hold, and a while later stayed in Kirkwall, where I met our friend Varric."

"And what at brought you to the Inquisition?"

"Oh, Cassandra approached me. She needed someone to to train the Inquisition's soldiers and make them into an actual army. Although," He leaned as he lowered his voice, "lately it feels a lot more like baby-sitting. You should see the ways some of these recruits hold their shields." I chuckled. "We've received a number of recruits – locals from haven and some pilgrims since your sister closed the breach. Although," his lip quirked making the light catch his scar, "None made quite the entrance you two did."

"Ha, no." We had literally stepped out of a rift – right from the fade – to fall in the middle of the charred explosion of the decimated Temple of Sacred Ashes. "Obviously no one got my requisition for the Antivan marching band. Well, It's too late now, Commander. I'll have to stick with our adequate entrance and hope the bards will spice it up a little."

"Ha!" The Commander's eyes crinkled in amusement, and then softened. "And please, I prefer you use my name rather than my title. You said yourself we should get to know each other better, Miss Lavellan."

My eyebrows shot up suddenly, and I swore "Fenedhis!" His expression quickly changed to panic and looked somewhat hurt; I shook my head. "I'm sorry for my outburst. But here we are, chatting away and I don't think I ever properly introduced myself." I quickly brushed off my clothes in the awkward moment and straightened. I held my hand out and his lips quivering in an attempt to hold in his smirk. "I apologize! My name is Nimue Ahmya Lavellan."

"Charmed, Nimue." His large, warm hand engulfed mine, the warmth radiating into mine. He shook it slowly but I felt the ghost of his touch last after he released my hand. He seemed to flush slightly when I looked back at him.

"Did you know I was there when you closed the Breach." I shook my head no. "Your sister saved me and my men when they took the Valley route to the Breach. But I heard how you went into the Mountain Pass to save a whole squadron of agents. And then I watched you stare down that Demon. I watched how you fought and saw your in-battle strategies. Even though many here credit your sister with the victory at the Breach; you saved her life. You were willing to sacrifice yourself to protect the Herald as she closed the breach."

"No. I saved my sister." I said firmly, and he looked sheepish.

"Apologies, Yes. But still," he shook his head as in disbelief, "not many would be so brave. It seems the Inquisition gained quite a lucky charm." His smile was genuine with no hint of teasing.

My face felt hot and I looked away embarrassed by his praise. "Well, let us hope that my luck doesn't run out."

We both turned back to our meals, somewhat awkward. "So….. What about yourself, Cullen?" I cleared my throat. "Where was your big entrance, or did I miss the band while I was asleep?"

He outright burst out laughing, the loud sound startling a few people nearby. "Please." He said again while settling down to a low chuckle. My cheeks felt even hotter as there were curious onlookers to our conversation now. "Cassandra recruited me from Kirkwall. I believe there was indeed a fanfare. I apologize Nimue, but you were the one who was late to the party." W had finished eating and gently stacked out finished plates to the side. The barmaid quickly cleared them away.

"It is getting quite late." He said, and I felt like there was a hidden question there.

"Yes, I suppose it is." He cleared his throat and we stood at the same time. We gave eachother a sheepish smile at each other. He reached behind his head, and looked away, a slight blush creeping up on his neck. "May I walk you…. To where ever you are going?" He asked softly.

"Yes." I said just as quietly, moving toward the door as he followed. Outside in the cooler evening air we walked closer to each other than our walk here. Every few steps I could feel our arms brushing, but neither of us said anything. Too quickly we reached the cabin where I would spend the night. I turned to look at him again and he put his arm behind his head again. Is that a nervous tick?

"I… do apologize. For earlier this evening."

"Thank you…. for telling me. I think I would feel… more reassured... if we could speak about it more. I will have more questions." He nodded solemnly.

"Of course, anything."

"Thank you again for dinner, Commander-" He opened his mouth to speak but I interjected. "Cullen. Really, thank you for the wonderful evening."

He took my hand in his own like earlier, but instead he held it for a moment, squeezing it gently before letting go. "Good night, Nimue." He dipped his head in a slight bow and turned slowly, retreating back the way we came. I watched him go, the heat of my blush keeping me warm in the cool evening.

XxX

Apparently not many people of the Inquisition awoke at sunrise. It was a quiet morning when I stepped outside, only a few servants were running around but it was eerily quiet. Completely different than Clan life. I mused.

I had rummaged through the Cabin I was staying in, looking for some hint for breakfast, but my search had been unsuccessful. There wasn't anything to eat in the cabin. My growling stomach had spurred me to do some exploring, hopeful to find something to eat, but I quickly found that not even the Tavern was open this early. My stomach gave a grumble in protest and I grumpily stomped back to the cabin to retrieve my hunting bow. While I was there, I wrapped myself in a deep green cloak, fastening it with a belt to keep it from flapping and to keep me warm. I was determined to find my own breakfast.

I moved quickly through Haven to the front gate – not even the soldiers were up for a morning routine yet – before heading off to the right and following a small path away from Haven. The surrounding landscape transformed into a dense evergreen forest and the sounds of birds surrounded me. Quickly though the trees thinned again and I noticed some hoofprints in the snow. I slowed down and began to listen for sounds of movement, pulling my bow at the ready and stalked forward as I stepped off the path. Rynn may have been the best Warrior and Hunter in our Clan, everyone was expected to help hunt and find food to support the clan, including myself. And my magic would damage the meat too much. The trees fell back as I reached a small clearing and I sunk into a crouch, breathing softly listening.

I heard a slight shuffling to my left and slightly behind me; I pulled my arrow back slowly and waited as I took a long, slow breath in. Suddenly a deer sprung forward racing through the clearing, its eye widening as It caught my scent. With a sharp release of air, I let fly my arrow and it sunk into the animal's neck, just below the base of its head. The animal stumbled and fell, thrashing for a moment as I raced forward. I reached for my small hunting knife on my thigh and quickly pushed it into the animal's heart, stilling it and ending its suffering. I gently ran my fingers through its soft fur as I said a small prayer of thanks to the Creators.

Crunch. There was a sound of a heavy footfall in snow behind me, and I whirled around calling flames into my hands ready to fight off whoever had snuck up on me. The man held up his hands in surrender, looking shocked. "I…" he mouthed.

It took me a moment to realize it was Cullen because of how different he looked. He had on a light-colored button up shirt that was slightly open, dark brown pants and matching brown boots. He looked flushed and pink from the cold, but he was also sweating. I let my magic fade and stood, pushing the dead deer off of me.

"What are you-" we both said -him with confusion and I, agitated. We paused, waiting for each other to continue.

"I'm….. sorry for….. sneaking up on you like that." He cleared his throat. He pointed where we had come. "I saw you, back there. What are you doing out here?"

I motioned to the deer, and wiggled the bow in my other hand like it wasn't completely obvious. "Hunting?" His eyes flickered to my moving hand, then to the deer, then back down to the ground.

"Yes, but why?"

"Well, the Tavern wasn't open." I shrugged. "I was hungry."

"The chantry has plenty of rations available." He said coolly.

"Oh…. Well, I suppose do you know where I can drop this off then? It would be a shame to waste."

"Yes. Let's go." I put my bow over my back and cleaned myself off as best as I could. As I was about to reach for the deer, Cullen stepped in and picked it up.

He threw it his shoulders, splattering some blood the light-colored material on his shoulder and arm. I made to protest, but he grunted and waved me off before walking away. I sighed and rolled my eyes before jogging up to catch up with him. Not that I didn't like the view from behind.

"And what were you doing out here?" I tilted my head as I caught up to him. "It's so early."

"Couldn't sleep. Decided a run might help."

"Ah. Well, I'm sorry I almost attacked you." He glanced over at me.

"S'alright." He grunted. We walked in silence for a moment, and I started to realize something seemed off.

"Cullen…. Are you alright?"

"Yes." He said abruptly, and I stilled, blinking in confusion. After a moment he sighed loudly. "Maker's Breath. I just… Did you know your eyes glow?" he asked quietly. "with magic, I mean."

"Oh. Um, yes. It just sort of happened. Since the fade demon. I don't know why." He grunted again and kept walking.

"Cullen what's wrong. Why won't you look at me." I said slightly agitated now. He stopped walking but didn't turn around. He hung his head down in shame.

"I just…. Forgot what it looked like."

"What WHAT looked like?" My voice tight with frustration and worry. He tilted his head and I caught the flicker of a honey-colored eye flash to meet mine for an instant.

"Forgot how it felt to have a mage about to attack me." He whispered. I tentatively reached out my hand to console him but he pulled away. "I'm sorry, I know you didn't mean to. It just….. caught me off guard and….." he sighed loudly, motioning in the air at nothing and dropped his hand to his side in defeat. "I froze. I felt like I was back in the circle. I just…." I saw him clenching his fist at his side.

I slowly walked so I was more in his field of vision and reached forward again, and he let me place my hand on his arm gently. When he didn't pull away, I leaned in, trying to catch his eye while he was looking at the ground. His eyes met mine suddenly, and I saw the worry lines soften slightly.

"I truly am sorry. Can I help in some way?" He took a shaky breath.

"Maker's Breath." He whispered. "I….. I think you already are." I reached up with my other hand to gently cup his face, but I hovered an inch away, letting him choose. He took another shaky breath before leaned into my palm a moment later, closing his eyes and letting out a soft sigh as I rubbed my thumb against his stubbled cheek. His breathing seemed to calm down.

"Okay?" I asked tentatively when he opened his eyes again.

"Okay." he smiled softly.

"Okay." I ran my thumb across his cheek and he nuzzled in, the intense eye contact making me blush slightly at this intimate moment. In that instant – and to my absolute horror – my stomach let out a loud gurgle protesting my lack of breakfast. I dropped my hands from his face and arm to my stomach, glaring at it in absolute embarrassment. When I looked back up at Cullen, a wide grin had split his face and I smiled sheepishly back.

"I think we better find you some breakfast. Come on." We straightened and hurried off back to Haven. Cullen dropped off the deer beside one of the tanning racks, and then motioned to follow me to the soldiers' tents in front of the town. He marched up to one tent, slightly off to the side from the others, unbuttoned a flap, and ducked inside. A moment later he returned with an apple, handing it over to me. I took it and instantly took a bit, munching happily and mumbled an illegible "thank you."

Cullen smirked and then turned back to his tent and my mouth went dry. He pulled his shirt over his head as he was walking, inspected the bloody mess that had been made on his shirt, and tossed it into the tent before following suite. I wasn't expecting THAT delicious display of back muscles. I swallowed hard. And just as soon as he had disappeared, he was back, in a fresh shirt much like the one he had just discarded, like nothing had even happened.

He crinkled his eyes in worry when he saw me standing there, stunned. I gave him a quick smile and a thumbs up before avoiding my eyes and went back to eating my apple.

"Come," he chuckled. "Let's go see Josie. Maybe she has an update on your sister as well."

XxX

Cullen led me through the chantry and stopped at a closed door, off to one side of the war room. He gave a quick rap with the back of his knuckle and I heard some shuffling. A moment later, Lady Josephine opened the door, a slight look of shock at our casual state – or maybe the fact that we were dressed so casually together.

"Good morning, Commander. Mistress Lavellan." Josephine said in her musical voice. "What can I do for you this morning." She motioned into the room and settled down at a large desk, we followed and Cullen softly closed the deer before coming to stand beside me.

"Josie," Cullen nodded. "We were wondering if there was an update on the Herald."

"Oh yes, Scout Harding did send a raven. The Herald and the team made contact with the Mother, were on their way to speak with the Horse-master Dennet. They will likely be returning in a few days If everything goes smoothly."

"Wonderful thank you Josie. And can you set Nimue up with some food rations, there was a slight misunderstanding." Cullen smirked while Josephine gave him a confused look. "Now, I must get the Recruits up and training" He gently placed his hand on my arm – mimicking our earlier moment – "Thank you again, and I hope we see each other later, Nimue." He squeezed gently before letting go and heading back out. The door softly closed behind him.

"It seems you and the Cullen are getting along well." She said with a soft smile which I returned.

"Yes." I said breathlessly.

"That's good. He… doesn't have many other friends. It's good to see." She reached into her desk and pulled out a notebook to make some notes.

"Oh! Those are beautiful!" I tentatively reached forward and she handed me it. I ran my fingers over the dark leather coverings.

"It's a nug-skin journal, one of my favourites from an Orlesian supplier. Here," She rummage through her desk and flipped through another book before trading with the one I had in my hand. "take this, as an apology for the miscommunication and whatever trouble I may have created between you and the Commander." I smiled, and hugged it to my chest, beaming at her.

"Thank you so much!" She smiled back at me and explained quickly how I could go about finding food rations within Haven as well as let me know about a few people I could check in with if she wasn't available. I snickered at that comment and quickly said my goodbyes. As I was leaving, something held me back, and closed the door. I stood for a moment with my hand against the door, feeling the grain of wood against my finger tips.

"What else can I do for you Mistress Lavellan?" Josephine asked softly.

"I…." My words caught in my throat. After a moment in silence, I heard Josephine shuffle and a moment later her hand had taken mine gently, she pulled me around and gently led me to sit on a small bench.

"What is it Nimue." She asked, and I felt her kindness.

"Cullen told me he was a Templar." Josephine's lips tightened and she nodded. "I'm… I…. I want to know more of his past. I…. want to know if I can trust him." I quietly added.

"Ah, of course." Her eyes softened in understanding. "Cassandra and Lelianna have known Cullen longer, so they may be able to provide more details. I know he served at Kinloch Hold Circle during the Blight. During that time a demon had taken control of the tower, many mages and templars will killed. The Hero of Fereldan – including the Queen – came to aid and was able to save some survivors. Leliana had been with the Hero during the blight – she saw the tower – and even said herself that it was like stepping into a nightmare." Her eyes went dull, and she whispered, "Cullen won't speak of his time there. The stories Lelianna told me were enough to stop asking questions as well."

She glanced at me then. "Afterwards, he requested a transfer and was posted in Kirkwall. Have you read Varric's book about the Champion of Kirkwall?" I shook my head and she hopped up, briskly moving to the shelves behind her desk and quickly returning to hand me a leather-bound book. I added it with my new journal. "It was…. A difficult time in Kirwall and the events there spurred along the Mage Rebellion. Cullen was Knight-Captain and served directly under Meredith. Cassandra recruited him shortly after. I think he lost faith in the Templar Order after seeing so many horrors." She sighed.

"He is a survivor. Despite everything he has endured, he doesn't hate mages. He is…. Warry of the magic they hold. But even then, to not let his fear manifest as hatred is impressive." Josephine reached out to take my hand gently. "He is a kind soul despite the horrors he's had to face and the mistakes he has made. He walks a lonely path, not many have seen what he has and made the choice to leave the Order."

She turned and held my gaze, speaking even quieter. "Please do not fear him Nimue."

I nodded quietly. "He seems…. He seems honorable." Josephine nodded.

"I consider him to be one of the most honorable men I know. We are fortunate to have him here."

"Thank you, Josephine," I whispered. "This... helps. Truly." I gave her a small smile before slipping out of the room. My steps were slow as I went back to the cabin – the rest of Haven was waking up and starting their day, but I felt like it had already been an eternity.

XxX