"So you don't have a boob fetish?"
"For the last time Ruby, no! I don't have anything like that."
"Okay, Vomit Boy, whatever you say…"

The faint laughter of Yang Xiao Long continues to assault his ears, despite her already being back in her dorm. It's been a long, long few hours for poor Jaune over here. The rest of the afternoon and evening have been dominated by talk about him and those accursed glances.

He was even forced to make a tier list of just about every female in that he could name. Which was long and torturous, not only because having to juggle at least 13 different women in one's head is difficult, but also because the other half of his mind was too busy writing his own obituary for him as he stood:

️

Jaune Luna Arc
AGW 63 - AGW 80
Cause of Death: Suffocation

️

"I swear I didn't mean it like tha-MGMPHPFFTMOUAAARRRRRR"
His uncanny melon-digesting abilities will be sorely missed all over Remnant.

Luckily, Jaune's untimely demise did not come to pass. Even if he had to temporarily disgruntle a few women along the way.

But it's finally over. He walks into his dorm and quickly lies down on the bed, thankful that there will be no more sticky situations for him to stumble into today. He opens his scroll up, opening some random game to draw his mind away from… that.

"See Ren! No one got their legs broke today!"
"Yes, Nora, I can quite clearly see that."
"Well?"
"What do you mean, well?"
"Aren't you going to reward me for being so peaceful?"

"Uhhh…" Ren tries to quickly think about the best way to put this without causing a problem down the line.

"You need to be peaceful all the time, Nora. How would you figure out who's legs to break if you are jumping around everywhere?"
"Well… uhhhh…." Nora's resolve crumbles in the face of this simple but unyielding logic.
"See? Think how much easier it is."
"Fine! But I still want to break stuff!"
"You will get a chance to break stuff later, I promise."
"I'm holding you to it! Or else you will never be able to stop me from forcing you to make as much food as I want!"

"Oh, I'll be sure to watch out for any opportunities…" That's more than enough for Nora, who finally separates from Ren, sitting down in her own bed. Ren finally gets the chance to wipe the sweat beads off his brow.

"Alright. Now to just make a quick snack and go to sleep…" Ren shifts his focus to his little treasure chest of ingredients, in which he gets out a package of powdered gelatin and some fruit.

"Can I have some of that?" Jaune looks over and sees him preparing the Jello. His stomach rumbles in desire, especially since he's fixing the cherry flavor this time around.

"Why not? I wasn't going to eat the whole thing anyway." He gets out a small plate, but only just closes the door before another voice joins the fray.

"Me too!" Pyrrha yells out, while lounging around on her own bed. He gets out a third platter, and sighs in discontent. Everyone's eyes immediately shift over to the last person in the room who has not given her opinion on the procurement of Jello.

She's in her own little world, but Pyrrha's vivid green eyes quickly being her out of it.

"What?"

Ren's mind catches up with him at the last second, quickly yelling at him about how stupid giving her yet more sugar could be. "Nothing. We just thought we saw a spider." As Nora's eyes suddenly brighten up, though, he realizes that he may have just made a mistake...

"Spider? Where? I'll break all eight of your legs! C'mere, spidey-spidey!" She stands up on the bed, her eyes scanning the sheets for this 'spider'.

Oh shit… The terrifying thought of Nora combing the room for an arachnid that doesn't exist strikes a tinge of fear into all three of their hearts.

"You'll scare it away if you do that, Nora."

"Yeah! That's what I wanna do!"
"No, you want to hit it with your hammer." Jaune, Ren and Pyrrha all say the obvious truth with the most deadpan expressions that their mouths can possibly show.
"Wuh- Hey! That's not true!"
"Then why are you holding it?"

"What do-" Only then does Nora notice the metal hammer that she just so happens to be holding. Just as quickly as she sees it, it mysteriously falls to the floor, clacking on the ground so powerfully that some of Ren's ingredients jump.

"I'm not holding it!"

Jaune comes in to do his Nora-wrangling duty. "Alright then, Nora, I guess you're not… holding it then? I think I saw the spider out in the hallway somewhere." As he was leading her on, his hands reach down and swipe Magnhild before the Valkyrie can get any more swing-worthy ideas.

"Arrrrgh! I'll get you!" She reaches down for the hammer and instead just grabs some air, but that does not seem to faze one Nora that is itching to smash something. She rushes out the door so fast that the door can barely handle the speed,sending all kinds of wind gusts fluttering throughout the room. It closes back on its own, but that doesn't stop Nora's voice from bleeding through.

"You can't hide forever, spider! Your legs are mine!"

It takes no time at all for Jaune to flush his mind of Nora's antics and go back to more… pressing needs. "Alright Ren, how long is she gonna be out?"
Ren quickly finishes mixing the Jello together as he answers. "About ten minutes or so."

"Good, that's enough time for us to eat."
"Uh huh." He uses one hand to balance two platters as he gives Jaune and Pyrrha big helpings of the gelatinous treat.

Pyrrha digs her spoon in almost instantly, slipping a bite in between her lips without a care in the world about serving size. Her eyes instantly brighten up like a slot machine that has just hit jackpot, quickly adding on another bite before she can even finish the first. Jaune takes a bite as well, and his taste buds almost jump for joy, eyes struck in wonder like he just saw a unicorn.

"This is amazing!"
"Yeah, this tastes like heaven!"

Both of them eagerly stuff their mouths full of the dessert, but Ren still just barely edges them both to clearing their plates thanks to his much smaller portion size.

"Just so you know, I'm not making any more." Both their eyes flicker off, their moods deflating like a balloon.

"That's fine, I guess…" Jaune can't hide the disappointed undertone that hammocks his voice.

"I'll make more eventually, that much I'm sure…" He puts all three dishes in a bag for later, then throws them in yet another drawer to be properly washed tomorrow. And not a moment too soon, because the door suddenly opens to reveal Nora proudly holding up a mysterious black blob of...something.

"Got 'em!"

Oh… that kind of something… uh oh…

"Nora, why the hell are you showing it to us? Throw that away!"

"Okay Pyrrha, Okay! I just wanted to show off my kill!"

"Bu…" Trying to figure out what Nora is doing is an exercise in futility. Pyrrha refuses to look as she throws the spider's carcass away. How did she even find that? Jaune, Pyrrha and Ren all look at each other, none of them any closer to understanding.

"I've had enough of today. I'm going to sleep." Jaune lays down in his bed and closes his eyes before anyone can blink. Within milliseconds, he is out, gone into a dreamworld that is certainly more sensible than the reality he is exiting from.

"Jaune wai…" The realization that Jaune is already asleep obliterates what she was going to say. "Aaaah… why not…" Pyrrha pulls the sheets around her, flipping around toward the wall and letting sleep carry her to her own dreams.

"It's only 10:30…"

"That means more time to have some fun, right?"

️

ˉˉˉˉˉˉ

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEE-* The alarm is cut short by an energetic punch right in the ringer, pushing it way, way off a bed. The hands spin around madly, completing several rotations before the entire thing succumbs to gravity, shattering into millions of pieces on the floor below.

The explosive noise makes the other three huntresses almost jump awake, looking over in the center of the room for a fraction of a second before their glares shoot over to the one who caused this breakage in the first place.

"Yang! Why did you punch it?! You know there is a snooze button, right?"

"Of course I did! But I wanted it to stop ringing, and this was the first thing I thought up!"

"Oh my god… fine, I guess I'll fix this…" Weiss rummages through a drawer, picking out the backup alarm clock that was to be used when the inevitable happened. But only a few weeks in?! It was supposed to be kept in storage for at least a few months…

By the time she turns back around, the other three have already gotten up and climbed down from their bunks.

"Alright everyone. Where are we going to place it this time? Me or Weiss?"
"There is no way that I'm about to sleep next to… that thing!"
"It's just an alarm, Weiss-Cream! What's so bad about it?"

Everyone's gaze is now fixated solely on Weiss.

"Uhhh….. uhhhhhhh… I-I just don't want my eardrums to break, alright?" Before anyone can react, Weiss rushes off into the bathroom, not wanting anyone to know about her problems with things that constantly tick…

"I'll keep it next to me then. It won't even have to be as loud as is it does in any other spot." Blake takes the alarm and puts it on a desk right next to her bed, where it only has to share space with a small reading lamp.

"Soooooooooo… what's up for today?" Ruby decides to lasso the conversation back over to something hopefully cheerier.

"More school… yay…"

"Sis! Don't be like that! I'll think of something fun to do, just you watch!" Ruby burrows inside her bag for a bit, eventually popping out with what looks to be a high-fidelity karaoke machine…

The instant Yang catches a glimpse, she almost collapses on the bed to cry in agony. "Oh gods no…"

"Oh gods yes! You and Blake are gonna help me sing too! It'll be so much fun!"

Yang can not even sulk before Blake taps Yang's shoulder, hurriedly moving her finger side to side over her neck while making a silent plea to stop this madness.

"Rubes, you don't have to. Today's not gonna be-" She gets cut off by the beginning instrumentals to Mirror Mirror. Both Yang and Blake cringe as they realize there is no stopping this scythe-wielder now…

It only takes a minute of singing for Yang's head to hurt too much to bear. "Screw this! I'm going to breakfast!" She storms out, determined to fill her mind with something else, something much more her style. Ruby immediately stops the karaoke, but it is too late.

"Auggggh! Why won't this damn thing fit!" The beeping that immediately follows is Yang's hilarity detector going off faster than a Geiger counter at Chernobyl. She doesn't even have to go in the bathroom to know what she's probably complaining about. Oh, this is going to be the tease of legends… But not now. There needs to be a bigger audience for this one…

️

With an extra spring in her step, the bombastic blonde walks into the cafeteria, grabbing her plate of pancakes and quickly approaching the table. She chuckles a little bit when she sees the state of Team JNPR. First is Nora, who is digging into the pancakes with a velocity that rivals no one. Next is Pyrrha, and other than a slightly suspicious smile on her face, there's nothing out of the ordinary. Then, on the far left after Nora, sits Ren, sporting just a couple of bags under his eyes and an unusual frown. But that is peanuts compared to the expression that Jaune is wearing. His eyes are stuck wide open, and he is slumping over as if he had been stuck awake for days. To put it bluntly, he looks like he has been through a warzone.

"Uhhhhhhh… hey guys! What did you all do this morning?"
"Just a little bit of *mmph* massaging before breakfast!"
"Massaging? What kind of massage would make the boys go that crazy?"
Pyrrha is about to answer but Nora cuts her off. "A titty massage of course! What else?"
"There's more to it than that… My bra could barely fit."

"Oh really? That sure sounds interesting." Yang's smile flashes brighter than the sun as this only lends more credence to her little theory with Weiss. "I suuuuure wish I knew what happened in that roooooom!" That 'subtle' request is all too conveniently pointed at one person in particular. "Care to tell me what went on, Vomit Boy?"

"I… don't….. no… enough…" Jaune's eyes are still stuck open as if they were a pair of googly eyes. The robotic nature of his pancake eating doesn't make him look any better.

"He and Pyrrha had… some fun." Ren comes in with the clutch 'making things even worse' move.

"Oh they did?" Yang's inner thoughts scream at her to find out now, but they are overruled by another desire to tell some dastardly jokes to as many people as possible.

"Well, I hope it wasn't too bad for you two, right Jaune?"

"Stop…...hands…" He almost falls over, but Jaune forces his head back up at the very last minute, saving it from what would have been a very painful crash.

"I don't think Fearless Leader wants to talk about it."

"Oh, he's going to. But I guess I can leave him be for just a teensy bit longer…" Yang finally takes her first bite of the pancakes, content with leaving everyone alone for now. With no real talking, the next twenty minutes go by faster than a raging wind. Even so, after both those twenty minutes and several delicious pancakes are chewed through, the rest of RWBY still have not showed.

"Where is Ruby and Weiss? And Blake?" Pyrrha is the first to vocalize the emptiness that the lack of members creates.

"I have no idea..."

"Do you think it's the same thing Pyrrha and Nora had to deal with?" After this, Ren finally finishes up his small stack of pancakes.

"Uhhh… it could be? I really have no idea, honestly. They didn't say much of anything." Yang's disarming smile is enough to distract from the little white lie that she just handed out.

"Well, they better show up fast. The pancakes are going to get cold soon."

"Pancakes? Cold?! Let me have them first!"

"Nora! Please. You know how long it took to get you straightened out, I don't want to have to go through that again…" What surprises everyone at the table is just how much emotion the normally stoic and unchanging Ren is putting into that plea.

"But I can't let those three leave the pancakes to become all cold and unsatisfying!"
"Relax, I'm sure they will be here soon."

Just as Ren finishes that sentence, three sets of perfectly synchronized footsteps finally make their way over to the table with pancakes in hand. All three of them have the exact same annoyed look on their faces, their mouths all sloped down.

"Uhhh… what happened while I was gone?"

All three of them sit down at the table, looks of jealousy on all of their faces.

"Of course you wouldn't understand, Yang…" Weiss has had way more than enough trouble for one day, and breakfast isn't even over yet.

"Whuh…" Her brain sparks as she remembers the situation from earlier. This gives her an extra jolt of energy. "Oh I think I know… *snort*. Thank the gods above that I can just let these puppies hang free!" Yang starts shaking said puppies around, annoying everyone within eyesight.

"Yang… Please…" Jaune can no longer hold up against gravity anymore, and his face smacks into a plate that is luckily not infested with syrup.

"Yeah, I'd like to see you try to force yourself into a bra too small!"

Ruby's delivery sends Yang straight into a tailspin. "Rubes… PWAHAHAHAHA-"

"This isn't funny! It took Weiss and Blake ten minutes to stuff mine in! And you weren't there to help me! You are a terrible sister!"

This only makes Yang laugh even harder. So hard that she almost chokes. But not a single person is laughing along with her...

Guess who's got PTSD again~!

Why did I spend so much on a scene where Nora kills a spider? And the whole Weiss hating alarm clocks thing? My mind works in mysterious ways… I also couldn't think about anything else that Ruby would like that Yang would not, so I just reused singing again.

But whatever. If you don't see where I'm going with this, you should now. Even if not, I'll just go ahead and explain.

This story was born out of one word: Hyperinflation.

For those who don't know economics, Hyperinflation is when a currency is losing value at a very, very fast rate. This means that more of it is required to buy the same amount of stuff compared to sometime in the past. This kind of thing can blow up at ridiculous levels:

Zimbabwe had a famous hyperinflation episode in the late 2000's, where it got so bad that they had to put out a ONE HUNDRED TRILLION dollar bill, and even that was nearly worthless in real-life purchasing power.

What does this whole thing mean for the plot?

To put it simply, all the women's boobs are going to grow at an exponential rate thanks to that whole gas thing. And in turn, that will cause all kinds of amazing shenanigans to happen, some I've already done, but most of them I haven't gotten to yet. Every chapter from here on is going to be more and more outlandish.