"Ah… Cornholio. Origin of all that is cool and father to all our Bungholes…" The Bunghole said, every word emphasized by its thick Rock Bottom accent.
"Uhhh, not this dumbass again." Butt-Head said.
It was then that he noticed the large dog food-sized empty bags labeled "Bunghole feed." A full bag was being craned toward the Bunghole, a knife cutting open the side. The Bunghole made a loud sucking noise and tortilla chips flew through the air and into its open hole.
"Uhh, wait a minute, that's nachos in there," Butt-Head noticed.
"He's not even eating them with cheese. Who eats nachos without cheese or salsa?!" Beavis screamed.
"Jumping Jesus, what is going on there, Agent Hurly?!" Agent Flemming said, horrified.
"Sir, a bunch of nachos have begun pouring out of this man's anal cavity," Hurly replied.
"That's the third time this week… Something is going on. I think it is time we called in our expert," Flemming stated. He beckoned toward Agent Bork.
Bork nodded and opened the door. A middle aged, balding gentleman with a mustache confidently strode in the room. "It would seem my services are needed at last! What seems to be the trouble here?"
"Mr. Proctologist, we have a severe case of nacho anus and we need your assistance. We've heard you have dealt with some… strange cases in the past," Agent Flemming stated gravely.
"Not cho anus though? Is it mine?" The Proctologist said with a chuckle.
"This is the fifteenth case we've had where nachos, garbage, or some other foreign object has fallen out of someone's rectum, Dr. Proctologist. Have you seen anything like it before? I haven't been able to give anyone a good cavity search in hours!" Flemming said, slamming his fist on the table.
"Well, in Colorado we call that a Tuesday," Proctologist replied with a chuckle. "We find all kinds of things inside people's rectums back home. Hemorrhoids, anal fissures, metal doodads that shoot out of the roof, you never know what you'll find."
Flemming sighed and stood up straight, looking the man seriously in the eyes. "I don't care what the backwater hicks in Colorado like to do in the bedroom. I need you to find me some answers. NOW!"
"OW! You're not supposed to kick me in the nads, asswipe!" Butt-Head yelled as he deftly dodged another incoming blow to his head from Beavis.
"You did it to me first, dilhole!" Beavis retorted.
The Bunghole sighed. First his prophet returns, and then immediately fights his dearest friend. It wasn't sure what they were even fighting about now since the original debate was about nachos.
"Hey uhh, wait a minute. There's no cheese. This, like uhhhh, sucks. Nachos without cheese sucks." Butt-Head said, his disgust plain on his face.
"My sons, despair not. There is no cheese, but those nachos have given me the strength I need to become ever more powerful in the service of my Prophet, Cornholio. As you recall, I am the One Bunghole that connects all living assholes together. My opening acts as a portal shifting between all. But now… I can connect buttholes through time itself," the Bunghole explained.
Cartman's jaw dropped. He just wanted to use the Bunghole to irritate Kyle but this new development opened so many new doors... or rather, anuses. First, they had to get out of there. That stupid CEO and his lapdog Todd could be here any moment to ruin everything.
"You guys! We need to get the Bunghole out of here right now! Butt-Head, you push, Beavis you pull. I'll supervise," Cartman ordered quickly and with authoritah.
"Uhh, you can't tell us what to do. We still didn't get any nachos," Butt-Head complained.
"You can't get nachos if Todd catches us and kicks our asses!" Cartman thought quickly, and knew what he would do to solve their nacho problem. "We can use this to get all the nachos in the world when we get out of here. We can go to Casa Bonita! All you can eat nachos! Come on!"
"Uhhh, okay," Butt-Head agreed. Casa Bonita sounded like a Mexican restaurant, and all his Spanish knowledge came from the menu at Taco Bell. He began leading the Bunghole toward the elevator. Beavis followed closely behind.
"Oooh, dearie me," the Bunghole said as it felt Butt-Head's strong hands on its sensitive posterior as it was led into the elevator.
Todd flipped the toothpick in his mouth around as he watched the crowd run screaming from the building through the lobby. Those turds wouldn't get past him, and this time they would pay.
An odd group was walking swiftly by. Todd stepped a bit closer to take a look.
"Ahh, Angelica Pickles. You seem to have let yourself go, I don't remember you being such a fatass," he directed at who seemed to be the leader of the group.
"Angelica" clenched "her" fists, but otherwise calmly replied, "You know how it is, a third dimension adds 20 pounds. Gotta be ready for the CGI reboot."
Before Todd could respond, he was cut off by a spooky figure covered by a sheet. "OoOoOooOooO, I'm a ghost! YEAH, YEAH! Hmmeheheheh."
Todd crossed his arms. "Danny Phantom… you are always getting out of your cell. Bob is wanting to buy the rights to Ghostbusters, so I'm sure that will be a thing of the past soon."
Todd slightly cursed himself for not noticing who was behind Danny Phantom. It was Jim Carrey himself, wearing sunglasses, a mustache, and a propeller beanie. He didn't realize that Mr. Carrey possessed the ability to float until now.
"Are you off to film your newest role, Jim?" Todd asked.
"Oh… why yes, of course," the man said, every word punctuated by a raspberry sound.
"Man, Jim, you do such a good job with your method acting, I can't wait to see what role you are going to become next," Todd added.
"Huh, I don't know who that guy is, who is he?" Todd asked, pointing towards the brace faced fleshy thing walking by.
"Uhh, I'm a wiener uhuhuh," the giant penis said, as it flopped its head back and forth with each step.
"Uhh, okay…" Todd said, a bit confused, but not surprised. There was some really weird stuff corporations were churning out anymore and he couldn't keep up with everything.
"Boioioionggg," Danny Phantom said, as he watched the giant penis wobble around wildly as they left the building.
"Isn't this Todd's car?" Cartman asked. "Kickass, let's use it to get back to Highland."
"My children, I am the only one of us old enough to drive. I can get us back to Highland, as you wish," the Bunghole interjected. The driver door opened and the Bunghole quickly hopped in behind the wheel.
The three boys exchanged glances and shrugged, hopping in the passenger seats. Cartman got shotgun and didn't even have to fight for it as Beavis and Butt-Head got in the back. They always seemed to sit together. Cartman thought it was kind of weird.
"Finally, we can take these stupid disguises off," Cartman said as he pulled the Angelica wig off. "Beavis, your costume is totally lame. You couldn't do any better than a sheet?"
Beavis picked his nose under the sheet. "Yeah well, at least it isn't Butt-Head's special monkey sheet like the first time I tried dressing as a ghost."
Butt-Head turned his head toward Beavis. "Uhhh, actually that one is my special monkey sheet too. I was checking out that uhh, squirrel chick with the big thingies before you found it."
"AAAHHHHH! NOOOO!" Beavis screamed. He threw the sheet off and chucked it out the window, where it stuck to the windshield of an 18-wheeler and blinded the driver, causing a 12 car pileup.
The Bunghole drove nicely into Beavis and Butt-Head's driveway.
"Uhh, you can like, park the car in the yard, dude. That's what Todd always does. Plus it'll get us closer to the door," Butt-Head said. The Bunghole shrugged and turned the car sharply to leave it parked right in front of the front door.
The two were bickering again about something and he thought of the power they would hold if they would work together and was saddened. Maybe the young man in the passenger seat would help them.
"Come on guys, let's get the Bunghole inside so we can use it to fuck with Kahl!" Cartman said eagerly.
"Uhh, what about our nachos? We don't have any here," Butt-Head said with irritation.
Cartman frowned before he remembered mentioning Casa Bonita earlier. If the Bunghole allowed for time travel now, he could go back to when Kyle was already there. It might not be a complete detour for using it to mess with Kyle after all.
"We can travel in time to when I went to Casa Bonita! They have endless nachos there," Cartman explained. Beavis and Butt-Head both visibly lit up at this idea.
"YES! Let's go now, Butt-Head!" Beavis exclaimed.
"My children… I am giving you the power to go anywhere you would like throughout space and time. Is this truly where you wish to go?" the Bunghole asked in a disappointed tone.
The three children looked at each other together and said, "YES!" in unison.
"Let us go to that one time for Kahl's birthday party we were at Casa Bonita… and let us use his mom's fat ass as the portal!" Cartman added.
The Bunghole let out a long, tired sigh. "Very well! The Chosen One must have the final say. Do you accept these terms, O Great Cornholio?"
"Yeah! Let's do it! I need nachos RIGHT NOW! And if I don't get any, I'm gonna break stuff, and light stuff on FIRE!" Beavis said. "FFFFFIREEEE!"
The portal shifted, and through it the patrons of Casa Bonita could be seen. Just as Beavis was about to step through, Cartman reached out and stopped him.
"Wait, what if time travelling here has the same rules as it does in the Terminator? You know, only organic matter can be transported, so you have to go through naked," Cartman proposed.
"Ohhh yeah, that movie is cool," Beavis said. He did a bad impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger as he said "I'll be back."
"I have a huge dick, I'm not risking that. I'm going to go through naked, and Beavis should too since he is important right now," Cartman continued.
"I have to get naked in front of a couple of dudes? This sucks," Beavis said, but started undressing anyway.
Butt-Head began snickering and pointed to Beavis's crotch. "Hey Beavis, your schlong is like, really small."
"Shut up, BUNGHOLE! It is not!" Beavis said, slapping Butt-Head with his shirt.
Cartman laced his fingers together. "Butt-Head, you should go through the portal just wearing underwear so we will know if it is safe to go through clothed. You can also carry our clothes through so we can quickly put them on and get some nachos."
"Uhh, okay." A quick change and Butt-Head stood naked in front of Cartman and Beavis, his wiener flopping just as his disguise had.
"Uh, Butt-Head, we said you could keep your underwear on," Cartman whined.
"Ohhh yeah," Butt-Head said. "But that robot guy in the movie had his schlong flopping around in that one scene, I just like, wanna make sure, ya know? And there might be some chicks there too."
"You can still get chicks if you keep your underwear on. And do not forget to bring our clothes," Cartman replied.
Beavis poked his head through the portal as Butt-Head pulled his underwear back up. "Uhh, hold on I got a wedgie," he added. He put the clothes on the floor while he picked the wedgie out.
Cartman shoved Beavis the rest of the way in and he fell through the gaping anus, and into another time and place.
Sheila Broflovski wiped sweat off her brow. What a weird evening. First Kyle's little friend Butters goes missing for days and then his fat friend gets arrested for hiding him in the first place.
"I'm sorry that the party has started off so crazy, bubala. Now that we're here, we should try to have some fun. Why don't you boys go check out the puppet show?"
"Okay mom, I'm just glad that Butters is okay. Thanks for taking us!" Kyle said. Before he and Stan could go very far, they stopped as they noticed a head poking out of Sheila's large backside.
"WHAT WHAT WHAAAT?!" Sheila screeched as she too noticed the teenage boy hanging out of her ass.
"Uhhh, hey beby." Butt-Head said to Sheila as she began screaming at the near naked boy exiting her rectum. A quiet came over Casa Bonita as everyone stopped and gawked.
Sheila continued screaming.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"