The Start
Chapter Notes
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I am a child of my city, my status, my education, of the expectations placed on me.
All of which are larger than life.
We are Luthors, old and grand, and to be honest, a bit cold. To be aloof to the slings and arrows
constantly coming at you from all sides is a real thing in the circles we were all born to. Even
Mom, who married up and sometimes is the only thing that seems to keep us from flying apart. The
old dragon was never a warm mother, but she knows what the hell she's doing and her ruthlessness
is a sight to behold.
As the younger child of my family legacy, I am the backup in case of emergency, which can be
frustrating, and leaves me at loose ends sometimes. It also left me a rebellious brat in my growing
pains leaving childhood behind, which I suppose is typical.
That I ended up a statistic is something Mom has been kind enough to not ride me about. Too
much.
Still, I can't complain for the gift of my wild spark of a daughter, the product of a short college
fling. I like to think it was she that calmed my fear, gave me the strength to carry her through the
long growth of her tiny self into the squalling infant I held in my arms and cried with the intensity
of feeling wrecking me far more than the trauma of birth. It was two days before my twentieth
birthday and I would never be the same again.
Oh, but it was hard to carry on. Exhausted to my bones and stressed by this new responsibility and
the fear and adoration of my wild girl, everything else slipped. For the first time in my life my
grades dropped and I had to drop not one, but two classes, but I couldn't bear to just hand my baby
off to someone else.
My chaotic little Lily; my joy and stress and the link to something so much bigger than myself. She
has always redefined me since the moment I knew she grew within the haven of my body. Together
we learned and loved and got to know one another, even as I did my best to keep up with things
outside of just her.
There were a great many nights of little sleep, of trying to stay awake for lab work, of slaving over
homework with Lily strapped snugly to my torso. But still, felt as though I were losing myself to
not just the experience, but what everyone else had to say about it. Have a child and there is no
shortage of advice.
It all came to a head in ways I never could have anticipated…
In a manner not entirely unlike how I'd gotten myself knocked up in the first place, I let some
college cronies talk me into a wild night. School was over and New York was sweltering around us
and I was crumbled around the edges from the strain of the last year.
They didn't have to try very hard to convince me.
That none of us were of legal age to drink meant little to any of us. Money could buy just about
anything, including a damn convincing ID.
And I needed to step away from everything weighing me down, if only for an evening.
So with my little one safe in the hands of her grandparents, I gave myself a night to just get lost in.
The Boiler Room had been a different place back then, dark and edgy. It hovered between 'shithole'
and 'unthreatening dive', depending on the mood of the crowd. Dumb kids oversaturated with all
that privilege and all that school asked of us, we loved it.
Gravitating to the lone woman behind the huge bar was easy. She was a looker, tall and lean with
whipcord solid working muscle and a smile wide and bright as a tropical sea. She had some southof-
the-border blood in her, messily bobbed hair streaked with a touch of sunshine and the sort of
warm, dark amber eyes that drew you in.
Naturally, we were all fascinated with her.
I'm pretty sure over time all but one of the five of us has clued into being somewhere on the queer
spectrum. Shocker.
The hot bartender charmed us with specialty drinks and we happily emptied our wallets like the
stupid, drunk fowl we'd let ourselves degrade into. Once thoroughly fleeced, she called us a cab,
but kept me on the hook, holding that damn ID I'd spent a decent wad of cash on between long
fingers.
"Y'know, princess, for as much as I bet you paid for this, you got an inferior product. Still, I'm
going to keep this for my hall of shame." There was a bit of danger in the corners of her eyes gone
darker with intent, no matter that her smile was a mile wide as she added, "oh, and thank you to
you and the posse for a most excellent sales night. Particularly as I didn't serve you a drop of
alcohol. Come back after you turn twenty-one and I'll show you a proper good time."
And she laughed as she sauntered off like a porn star.
As startled and sozzily pissed off as I was, I still recognized that I had never been so nonchalantly
both flirted with and threatened with such skill. All I could do was slink out and cling to soggy
memories of the night.
Oh, and cling I did.
A year later, I was high on graduating and bought the whole damn fifteen-story building with the
intent of a solid investment in a corner of Queens begging for an upgrade, and to fire her admittedly
fine ass. Lex was so entertained by my evil plot that he forked over the millions and handed me the
deed, just to see what I would do.
Instead of the stupidest revenge, I found a soulmate and a home.
She'd been running the bar for nearly two years, keeping it afloat even as gentrification crept closer
and closer, the local leases beginning to climb like vines. My money was more than welcome in
the aging bar and the layers and layers of apartments above. I combed through the tenants and
cooked up grandiose dreams while Sam kept me grounded in reality. We were a hell of a good
team right out of the gate, a balance for one another and our daughters.
Because I got Ruby in the deal too.
I couldn't love that kid -full of sass and brains and cleverness- more if she were my own. She
accepted me and my get-into-everything daughter, with an ease that was humbling. In an instant,
they were friends. In days, they were sisters.
Sam, better with numbers and linear things, was grateful that I could keep up with her clever kid
and her mercurial mind. That, and her academics -already good, solid grades- climbed into the top
four percent of her school. After a year, I even talked them into a private school to really get that
brain in shape; even if we all hate being separated during the week.
Sam found all the weak places where Lily and I had trouble with one another, embraced the chaos
and constant questions and things broken and screaming tantrums utterly in stride. In them, in the
dynamic we built between the four of us, I found a new strength and purpose.
Six years later, and we're a real family through and through… even as I still feel like there's a
crumbling emotional cliff far too close.
If not for Sam, I have no idea what sort of person I might have become. A ruthless dragon like
Mom? Taking it all for granted like Dad? An old-before-his-time renaissance man like my brother?
But I got Sam somehow, and she is the balance I needed, even if I didn't know it at the time. Me
and Sam? I've never known quite how to explain me and Sam.
Even after six years of connection, of friendship and love and partnering in all ways, I still feel like
she has one foot out the door, an eye on every window, ready to bolt if I cling too hard.
Sometimes I think our daughters are the only thing anchoring her to one place.
The building isn't much different from all the others in this neighborhood, though I'm partial to the
fancy corbels that give it a bit of distinction. The vast changes made to the structure are mostly on
the inside, which includes the very private gate that yawns open at an instruction from my very
secure smartphone. There are two snug parking spots, space enough for a small delivery truck and
a second gate leading to the alley out back.
The chauffeur opens the town car's door and I distractedly thank him as I head over to the entrance
door and punch in my code. After a wait in the cramped foyer, I ride the elevator to the top and run
the security gauntlet into the sprawling apartment that is home.
"Sammy? I hate to bail on you, but I have to make an emergency trip out to LA."
There are days I hate my role in my family and all the trappings that come with it. But my freedom
from most of it means I get the volcano-like explosions when the bullshit overflows. Such is life.
"Lex has his damn panties in a wad over some investment he's dabbling in that has, how did he put
it? 'Ugly and expensive rumblings.' I technically owe him for helping us out last Christmas and,
frankly, I'm feeling a little tense and could use rolling some heads."
I'm sure Sam was wearing that sardonic-yet-affectionate expression before I look up from pawing
frantically through my purse like a starving badger.
It's eerie sometimes, how like her mother Ruby is. Even when we met all those years ago, Ruby
was sharp as a tack and twice as sarcastic, which made for an interesting challenge to befriend the
eight year old. The years have only grown the similarities. Mostly, it's cute and adorable. Now?
The stereo stares are making me feel guilty.
Chuckling, Ruby hops up from a stack of schoolbooks to hug me and I relish the affection just as
much as I ever have. Luthors aren't naturally the touchy-feely sorts and neither my daughter nor my
beloved Arias duo have ever respected that. Luckily for me.
"You're in luck, Mama. The mini is in her room with headphones on, finishing up her homework."
Fourteen and already starting to inch past me, Ruby hugs like a linebacker and I love it. She rolls
her eyes but lets me get in my customary kiss to the forehead and stroke her hair. There's a bit of
vulnerability in her eyes when she asks, "do you have to leave right away?"
"Unfortunately. As always, his emergencies are time sensi- Oh, Ruby, baby, I'm so sorry. Your
play is this coming weekend isn't it?"
Squeezing harder, the 'uuuugh, affection' year old smiles that Arias smile at me that makes me
truly feel like her second mother. I've never wearied of how it makes me feel.
"You'll have time to make it up to me. We're running two weekends to give all the parents a shot at
seeing us."
"Oh thank god. I've been looking forward to that."
"I'll grab your suitcase so you can talk to Lily."
"Thank you, sweetie!"
Sam just continues to smile tenderly, smooching my head when I give her a quick, hard hug before
heading down the hall to approach my Lily.
Pausing at the threshold of her room, I just soak her in for long moments. How she's grown from
that vulnerable, squalling infant tiny in my arms. Now, she is a sturdy seven and two thirds, looking
ever more like me and the father I barely remember. Long, raven-black hair, thick and perpetually
wavy has been tamed back into a braid and I recognize Sam's neat hand in the job. The fling's
Indian heritage is strong in her good looks and coloring, but there is no mistaking the shape of me
in her, ever more obvious as she grows older.
Where she lays on her bed on her belly with an open book and her laptop, feet swaying in the open
air, she is every inch the diligent student. Until she notices me in the corner of her eye and lights
up in delight.
"Mama!"
Shedding her headphones, Lily becomes a wild rush at me for a full-body hug. She has long been a
small child, but whatever they're feeding her at her boarding school has her growing like a stalk of
corn it seems like, taller and lankier every weekend!
"Hi, baby. It's so good to see you! How was school?"
I'm so very lucky that Lily authentically loves school, instantly rambling on about her week as I
dawdle off to the master bedroom, her weight heavy in my arms. I've long believed that she had
been so cranky and restless as a very small child because she simply didn't have the tools to
properly communicate with the world around her. Now, she can't get enough.
The sight of the open travel case, Ruby already clanking about the bathroom to collect what I need,
has Lily looking sharply at me.
"Yes, I have to go on another little trip for business, love," I explain gently and she pouts and
makes a disappointed sound.
"Awwww!"
"I know, I don't like it either, but I promise to head home before next weekend, even if it means
that your Uncle Lex has to go to California himself!"
Reassured, Lily hops down to help Ruby with getting my sundries together while I hit the closet for
supplies. These trips happen a few times every year, so there's no shock value in them, though I
would certainly rather have a little warning…
Despite it meaning that I'm leaving, the girls make packing fun, horsing around while they help.
The laughter makes it easier, filling me up with love to sustain me while I'm away from them. We
rush when the doorbell bongs though the apartment, signaling that time is up.
The girls scamper off to greet Jess while I take a hard look at my supplies and go over my mental
checklist. I've traveled a lot over my life and this is old hat now. Quickly closing up my check-in
bag and the smaller ones to keep on my person, I head out to the babble of voices.
As patient as always, Jess is letting the girls hug her and yammer at her about school and
miscellanea. She is as much a standard fixture in their lives as their friends and teachers at school.
After all, she's underfoot pretty much daily and is basically family.
A year older than me, Jess has been my executive assistant since I got myself knocked up and
really is the other half of my brain and the most trusted person in my life outside of my little family
here.
"The car is here," she says simply and that is the cue for my family to descend on me. I relish the
crush of them strangling the breath out of me, leaving the prickle of tears in my eyes.
Loathe to leave any of them, I stare into their different shades of beautiful brown eyes, Ruby's with
layers of blue and green like a satellite photo of our verdant world, Sam's amber brown like
sunshine turned to dark honey, and my baby's near-black gaze like looking into the heart of
infinity.
"I love you," is all I need to say, collecting a last round of hugs and kissing the girl's foreheads and
Sam's soft smile.
Family affection dispensed, I gather up my things, adding a small canvas sack Sam hands over to
shove in my satchel. Doubtlessly it has the same sort of healthy goody selections she makes for the
girls when sending them off on Sunday evenings to return to school.
"No going to Disneyland without me!" Lily yells as I follow Jess out the front door and Ruby
laughs in agreement.
"Wouldn't dream of it, loves!"
A quick elevator ride down and we're handing off our things to our driver and collapsing into the
backseat of my favorite towncar. It's a peaceful drive to the airport as Jess isn't the chit-chatty sort.
Once through the drag of security checks, we dawdle off to the business-class lounge where I
immerse myself brainstem-deep in the latest of Lex's business forest fires. It's a thorny one and I
lose track of time, but eventually a disgusted noise escapes me, tamped down in deference to
location, and I lean back in my seat.
"My brother is an idiot when dealing with people sometimes, I swear," is my grumble and it takes
real effort to resist the urge to rub at my eyes in irritation. God forbid I mess up my makeup and be
unseemly for the masses. Being a girl sucks some days.
Chuckling with warm sympathy, Jess doesn't even bother looking up from her tablet.
Lex plucked Jess out of where she was being wasted in the generic secretarial pool and set her at
my side. I'd have lost my mind years ago without her keeping track of the endless and maddening
details that can be my life, depending on my family's whims and random chance. Some days, I
think it would be so much easier to not be in New York with them, but what other place could even
hold a Luthor?
Anyway, Jess knows us well, particularly Lex and I, and any old money worth its mansions
understands the very real value in keeping close those that know their strengths and foibles… not
to mention where the skeletons hide.
Which brings up the nagging little worry that I can't shake that something weird is going on with
Lex.
There's growing numbers of skeevy associates and a few decimal point values missing from just
enough pots to make me… wary. While I love my big brother, he's more and more a stranger with
every passing year and every step he takes towards the open hell-mouth that is the GOP hive mind.
Sure, it's a great time to be rich, but having money and a soul is tough.
More and more and more, I want to scream out my frustrations to the uncaring sky and just walk
the fuck away.
Needing a distraction, I go for the cliché and dig out my phone to check it, unspeakably grateful to
see there's a text from Ruby.
Hey Mama, since you're gonna be in Los Angeles, here's a YouTube reviewer Mom loves so you
can get good eats. And Mom totally thinks the older sister is hot, don't let her fool you.
God help me if my mother ever hears the undignified guffaw that earns me a few askance looks
that I decide to ignore and click on the provided link. God, I love that kid so much.
Luckily, Ruby has me well trained to keep a pair of earbuds on me, and when I go digging, I find
she's slipped in my fancy wireless ones for the trip. Good girl. A quick check on the Bluetooth
connection and I settle in. The scene opens on a busy urban street with a pretty, mid-twenties
blonde in a fashionable sundress with a smile like the Los Angeles sun and bare arms that look like
she could bench press the tree behind her.
"Today I'm going to try out the reputed best salad hotspot in the City of Angels, guys! I can almost
see my sister rolling her eyes at the rabbit food, but I was dared! So come with me on the next food
adventure. I'm Kara Danvers and this is Ka-Chow!"
Immediately charmed by this Kara Danvers, I settle in to be entertained. Never a fan of flying, I
always wait until the absolute last second to board, the doors sealing up behind Jess and I. Even the
perks of the finest domestic business class accommodations can't completely take the edge off.
Nothing for it but to grit my teeth and power through. Once past the unnerving shaking and
pressure of takeoff and climbing high into the sky, the Wi-Fi kicks in and I'm happy for the
distraction of Kara roving Los Angeles with the bubbly disposition of a cheerleader and an appetite
like a linebacker.
By the time I doze off somewhere over Illinois, I have several places I'm curious about and several
more I will get nowhere near. The nap isn't a long one, but it settles some of my nerves. With little
else to do until I'm on the ground, I go back to YouTube and Ruby's suggestion. Only this time, I
take a closer look. Kara Danvers' written bio is a rambling, cheerful bit of fluff that I had expected
from watching a handful of her videos, but the end takes me by surprise.
'So, my sister, you remember her, the awesome doctor in Seattle? She wants to do something new.
She and her best friend have bought a farm out in the middle of Oregon, can you believe that? And,
crazier still, I'm going to join them! This might be temporary, might be forever, I have no idea. But
I like the idea of an adventure. I've loved being your guide through the Los Angeles food scene,
but it's time for me to move on. I hope that maybe you'll like my new adventure. There's a link
below to the new channel, and I wish everyone well!'
I can easily envision the cheerful wave and wonder if that wasn't a transcript of an episode. Still, I
bet plenty of her followers stayed with her, with that snappy patter, cheerfulness and wholesome
good looks.
Sure enough, at the top of the thumbnail suggestions is a tiny Kara Danvers, frozen in mid-gesture.
The channel it's from is called 'Rainbow Haven Acres'. Well, I like the name anyway. This must be
where she went after Ka-Chow. Between that and the hilarious title, I'm curious enough to click on
it.
Catnip, OR, The Needy Fuzzbutts. Alex's words, not mine! AKA: The Adorable,
It Burns. June 8th.
18934 views
Rainbow Haven Acres
Published on June 16, 2017
"So, the kittens are finally big enough to start wandering!" Kara was breathless with
excitement and she nearly grabbed Brainy's camera to squeal into it. As quietly as she
could manage, which really wasn't all that quiet, she crept closer to the big cage built
into the barn's superstructure. "Mama B is still wary of most of us, but she likes Alex
well enough. Of course." Her affectionate and slightly jealous exasperation couldn't
dampen her exhilaration though, because, well, kittens! "Is this lens filter working to
ignore the cage wire?"
The cage they'd labored so hard to build had been holding up amazingly well against
Mama B's escape attempts. It was a double stall, nearly twenty feet long and almost
seven feet wide. Sturdy hardware cloth of wire welded into half inch squares sealed off
the area from anything bigger than a bumblebee getting in or out. Later, when the cats
were let loose, they could clean the cage up and make it a nice coop for something
even as big as turkeys!
Brainy hummed something non-committal as he fiddled with his camera to catch the
action. Happy to be allowed to walk after her injury, Alex hobbled into the cage with
her sturdy aluminum cane and was immediately accosted by her feline step-children.
Her weary sigh at their clustering around her feet and crying for attention didn't fool
anyone.
Clad in the usual Carhartt pants low around her hips, a blue sports bra and damp with
sweat from the summer heat against the backdrop of weathered barn wood, bales of
hay and shaky baby kittens, Alex looked like she was setting up some sort of rural
fantasy scene of the dirty variety. Brainy's careful use of the invading sunlight
showing off the ink in her skin and the muscled physique she'd earned with hard work,
only added to the appeal.
Which meant, of course, that Lucy had to mouth off.
"Aww, the poor babies can't climb your mean ol' pants," she taunted and the narroweyed
look she received clearly translated the silent, 'fuck you.' That, and a cheerfully
extended middle finger.
Hobbling a few steps, Alex sat on a bale of hay and stretched out her booted feet to
give the kittens a reasonable slope to climb. They scrambled up her legs and milled
about her thighs and torso with choruses of baby voices. A particularly persistent and
vocal little tortoiseshell got picked up so it could paw and kiss at Alex's soft smile.
"Dear god," Lucy mocked with clear affection. "No ovary is safe with you half naked
smiling like that and playing kissy-face with a kitten. You're a monster, Danvers. I'm
gonna get the hose."
Kara just sighed wearily. "The hits are so going to skyrocket when I post this, but jeez,
the comments are going to sound like soft-core porn."
"Pussy loves your sister!" Lucy cackled, laughing all the harder at Kara's disgusted
look.
Winn had some definite editing to do before they could post the video.
The video doesn't disappoint, but I still pause it halfway through. I can now see what Ruby meant
about her mom's crush on the hot sister! There should be a warning on that much sweaty,
gloriously toned woman. Yeah, her short pal is cute too, but there's something about this Alex's
broad shoulders and playful, dark eyes that does something to me. The tattoos and shaggy red wine
hair that makes her look sort of wild and fae doesn't hurt either.
Grabbing my phone, I text Sam. 'Between the pretty face, rippling muscles and enough ink to make
me terribly curious, I see now why you have a crush on the older sister. ;p '
As it's after eight now, which makes it eleven in New York, it's more than an hour before I get a
response.
'Did that rotten kid of mine tell you that? Ugh. Still though, arms!'
'LOL! You misspelled that. I think you meant abs.'
'Why Miss Lena, you sound like you might be getting a little crush yourself.'
'Yes, well, let it be said that you have excellent taste in women.'
'This is true. What episode did you watch?'
'The one with the kittens climbing on her. Omg, the cutest thing I've ever seen! I'll bet my family
fortune that her pal Lucy made some pussy joke they edited out.'
'Lol, I agree. But seriously, her arms, yowza! Do yourself a favor and watch them in order if you
have the patience.'
'Speaking from experience?'
'Indeed. Gotta go. Enjoy yourself!'
I send off a heart emoji in lieu of words, but before I can do more than hit 'send', the plane lurches
downward to the noisy displeasure of the crowd. It's only a moment of terror, but I drop my phone
and cling to the seat for dear life. After a moment, Jess pats me reassuringly, but any aplomb I had
is gone now.
God, I hate flying.