December

Rabastan,
As Bellatrix has undoubtedly already told you, I have decided to remain at Hogwarts over Christmas. I am sorry that you had to find out from her instead of me. You see, I told Narcissa of my plans to stay, and then she immediately wrote home to Mother and … well you can imagine how things went from there.
I just really want to experience everything Hogwarts has to offer, as this is my last year here. I've always heard that Hogwarts puts on an excellent Christmas feast, but I've never been permitted to remain here to see it.
I still plan to come home for the Easter holidays, so we can get together then.
Wishing you a very Happy Christmas,
Andromeda

Andromeda had attended many elaborate dinners before, but nothing compared to the Hogwarts Christmas Feast. There were only two dozen staff and students who remained at the school for the holidays, so they all shared a single table. Everyone present was in good spirits, laughing and joking with each other as they dug into turkeys, hams and roasts, loading their plates up high.

This was a stark contrast to any Christmas banquet that Andromeda had attended before. Dinners with the Black family and their associates were always very formal, with stiff conversation and dozens on unsaid rules that you didn't dare disobey.

After Andromeda, finished her meal, she placed her utensils on her plate and tried to ignore the pies, cakes and other sweets that had appeared in front of her.

"What's wrong?" asked a friendly voice beside her. "Don't like any of the puddings?"

Andromeda looked over to Ted and smiled meekly. "Actually, I don't know," she admitted. "I never eat dessert."

Ted stared. "You must be joking! How can you pass up dessert?"

"My mother always said that proper ladies deny themselves desserts."

Ted turned his head to look around the Great Hall theatrically. "Well," he said, as he turned back to Andromeda. "I've never met your mother before, but I don't think she's here." He then spooned a large helping of Christmas pudding onto her plate, followed by a mince pie, and winked at her. "You need to indulge yourself more, Andromeda."

Feeling a bit rebellious, Andromeda picked up her spoon and dug into the pudding. It was undeniably the best thing she had ever tasted.

*.*.*

January

Happy new year my darling Andromeda,
Christmas was so lonely without you here. Rod and Bella tried to get me to come to dinner at your family's house, but I declined. It just wouldn't be the same without you there. I hope I'm not making you feel guilty – that is not at all my intention! As I already told you in my previous letter, I completely understand your decision to remain at Hogwarts this year. I just want you to know how much I miss you.
Did you get the gifts I sent? I do hope they made it in time for you to open on Christmas morning.
I've started a new countdown as I impatiently wait for Easter to come. 99 days to go!
I love you so much,
Rab

Rabastan walked into the dining room, where Rodolphus were already seated, eating his breakfast and reading the Daily Prophet.

"Morning," Rabastan greeted. He glanced toward the empty seat on Rodolphus' left. "Bella's not up yet?" he asked.

"She already left for the day," Rodolphus replied curtly, making it clear that it wasn't a topic to be discussed. Rabastan took the hint; the precarious relationship between Rodolphus and Bellatrix was something that he tried to stay clear of.

"Any post come today?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Some," his brother replied, as he turned a page in the newspaper. "Nothing for you, though. Are you expecting something?"

"No, I guess not," Rabastan said with a sigh, as their family house elf laid a plate of eggs and sausages in front of him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rodolphus glance up at him. "I haven't heard from Andromeda in awhile," Rabastan admitted, answering the inquisitive look his brother was giving him.

"Seventh year is can be very demanding with the N.E.W.T. exams coming up," Rodolphus replied, not sounding concerned. "And, assuming that Andromeda studies more than you did last year, she's probably keeping quite busy with revision."

Rabastan ignored the jibe about his own N.E.W.T. scores.

"Or maybe she's mad at me," he muttered.

"Why would she be?"

"Before she left for school, I told her I was joining the Death Eaters, and she wasn't exactly pleased about it."

"She will get over it," Rodolphus said, unhelpfully.

"And if she doesn't?" Rabastan countered. "What if she wants to cancel our wedding?"

"It doesn't matter what she wants," Rodolphus said resolutely. "Your betrothal agreement is binding contract between Andromeda's father and myself, and I guarantee you that Cygnus Black will not withdraw it, no matter how much Andromeda might want to."

"Oh, that's great," Rabastan said sarcastically. "So, if Andromeda changes her mind, then she will be forced to marry me? That should make for an interesting honeymoon."

"I thought you wanted to marry her," Rodolphus pointed out.

"I do!" Rabastan protested. "I just want her to still want to marry me. If she's forced into it, then she will despise me for it! How do you marry someone that resents you?"

"Marriages have been built on less," Rodolphus muttered, his eyes flickering to the chair where Bellatrix usually sits.

"You know, you're not making me feel any better," Rabastan said, his voice betraying a trace of sulkiness.

Rodolphus chuckled slightly as he got up from the table. "You need to stop worrying so much, Rab," he said, patting Rabastan on the shoulder. "Everything will work out fine."

As his brother left the room, Rabastan stared into his plate of uneaten breakfast. Despite Rodolphus' assurances, Rabastan felt more uncertain than ever.

*.*.*

February

Dear Rabastan,
I don't want any details, but there was a bad attack the other day, and I just want to know if you were involved or not...

Dear Rabastan,
I keep hearing awful news and all I can think about is what we talked about last summer. Have you found a way out yet? I don't know how much longer I can handle...

Dear Rabastan,
Weather is horrible lately. As you can see, I don't really have much to write. There isn't a lot going on at Hogwarts right now.
I hope you are doing well. I've been thinking of you a lot lately.
Love,
Andromeda

"Andromeda?" a voice called out from the doorway. "Are you in here?"

Andromeda jumped up from the place she was sitting on the floor, as Ted Tonks walked into the bathroom, one hand covering his eyes and the other out in front of him, groping his surroundings.

"Ted!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing in here? This is the girls' loo!"

"I know," Ted said, as he blindly walked to toward her. "I just – ouch!" He had just walked into one of the porcelain sinks.

"You can open your eyes," Andromeda said, taking pity on him. "We're the only ones in here."

Ted slowly lowered his hand and opened his eyes, smiling sheepishly at her.

"You didn't show up for Charms class, and someone said that you were in here," Ted explained. "I waited outside but you never came out."

He walked closer to her, looking concerned. Glancing in the mirror, Andromeda saw that her eyes were bloodshot, and her face a blotchy red – the result of crying for the past two hours.

"What's wrong, Andromeda?" Ted asked.

She didn't answer him, but saw his eyes shift down to the floor where she had been sitting. Laying there was a copy of the Daily Prophet and a pile of crumpled-up pieces of parchment from her various attempts at writing a letter to Rabastan.

Reaching down to pick up the newspaper, Ted scanned the front-page article. "Village set aflame… five wizards dead… multiple Muggles injured or killed… Dark Mark spotted in the air," Ted read aloud, as he shook his head in disgust. "Terrible. Did you know any of these people?"

"Possibly," Andromeda admitted. "Its very likely that my fiancé was there."

"Not one of the five dead wizards?" Ted asked, with a gasp.

"No," said Andromeda bitterly. "He would have been one of the men setting houses on fire and killing Muggles. He's a Death Eater."

Ted looked at her in horror. "You never said –" he started.

"Of course, I didn't!" she replied angrily. "Do you think I want to brag about the fact that the man I love tortures and kills people? That he blindly follows orders from the most evil wizard to ever exist?"

Ted looked dejected and Andromeda immediately felt bad for snapping at him. After all, it wasn't his fault she was caught up in this mess. He was just, as always, trying to be a good friend. She began to apologize, but he cut her off.

"Do you still love him?" Ted asked quietly.

"Yes," Andromeda replied without hesitation. Then, she faltered slightly as she considered the question. "At least, I think I do."

Ted looked at her sympathetically as she began crying again.

"Oh, Ted, what am I going to do?" she sobbed, holding her face in her hands. "How am I going live with myself everyday, knowing that the man I married has helped to hurt so many people and destroy so many families?"

Ted pulled her into a hug, holding on tight. "It's going to be okay," he whispered in her ear.

She didn't respond but instead clung to him, weeping.