Chapter 2

Peter

With a groan, I lean my head back, looking up at the sky. My heart was going a million miles an hour. I couldn't shake the dream. Or the simple three words.

Take me instead.

Those three words would forever haunt me. Why would a simple stranger be so willing to offer to be taken instead of just letting me go?

A shiver wracked my body as I forced myself to stay in the present. It had taken me years to keep my thoughts locked up tight, and I wasn't going to break down now. Not after everything.

I was still standing by sheer will alone.

Taking one last breath, I shook away the feelings, closing off everything under a lock and key. That was how I kept going. I had no other choice. I had to keep myself closed off even before my world crashed down around me.

"You good, kiddo?" My boss peeked around the corner of the break room. I met his light brown eyes, ones filled with worry and helplessness. I'm sure I looked like I had rolled out of bed and walked into work this morning.

Okay, I basically did do just that.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I cocked my head to the side, pretending to be who he expected. What the world expected. I hoped beyond anything in me that he ignored my red eyes.

"You seem – never mind. Get back to work, then, Peter."

With thinned lips, I gave out a single nod and walked back inside. Instantly, the bright colors of the comics stared back at me. The yellow walls were in need of a new paint job, which I was supposed to be in charge of clearing off.

I wasn't exactly working by choice here of all places. I only took the job because I knew the guy who owned it. Letting someone feel sorry for me helped, I guess, to at least keep this small job. I was one of the types of people who did need a job to pay the bills.

Mike turned up the music a notch, a bop to his step as I went back to doing what I was being paid to do. With more care than I had in me, I removed each poster from the wall, setting them in a neat pile.

The song changed as I sighed, moving to the next poster. Hulk, I think it was. I really had no clue, nor did I care. The next was GI-O in all his gear, saving some poor girl from a knife.

That picture reminded me of Jasper. My own personal hero. It didn't matter that he could have died in my name. I hoped he didn't, though. But if he did….

I sniffed, blinking my eyes to keep the tears at bay. I wasn't going to go there again. I couldn't. Like my therapist had told me every time I went to see her, it was time to move on. My past needed to stay there. All it was doing was holding me down.

Didn't anyone know I couldn't. It hurt to even try. What if Jasper was out there still, never to be found? If he was dead, maybe that would bring me peace. Then at least I'd know for sure.

"Peter!" Mike hollered, drawing me out of my thoughts.

With wide eyes, I looked up at him. His blond hair covered one eye slightly with the way he looked at me. What had I done wrong?

"Go home." His smile was sad, knowing. "I'll handle the rest myself."

"Okay." My voice broke. God. Why couldn't I just act like everything wasn't still falling apart around me?

A moment later, his arms were wrapped around me. I held my breath, my body freezing at the feel of his arms closing around me. It only took him a second to understand before pulling away. He then bent down to meet my eyes.

"Tell me what to do. I can't stand seeing you like this anymore."

What was there to do? Could I ask this man, my friend that had stuck by me with everything, to kill me and end it all? I highly doubted he'd go for that.

I simply shook my head. If I spoke, I'd either puke or word vomit. Neither would be pretty.