Just another quick one-shot that I had saved in my files. I'm glad you guys are enjoying the short one-shots. I have a couple more written a while ago that I haven't posted yet.

Also, I'll be posting the last part to 'Leave your heart at the door'. It's been written but I still need to read it over and make some tweaks to it but it's coming up next so please look out for that.

This one-shot takes place during season 2 episode 23 Born into Bad News. It's the missing gap between Jay rushing to Erin's place during Roland's men ambushing her and the scene at the bar next day where she turns in her badge to Voight. Enjoy~!

The adrenaline was still pumping through Jay's veins as he paced endlessly in the hospital hallway. Every so often, he checked his watch, counting down just how long it took for the doctor to give Erin the all-clear.

Jay knew she was going crazy inside the exam room, being prodded and poked by the doctor and nurses. It took a lot of effort and even more convincing to even get her to come down to the hospital, Erin insisting that she was fine. That Roland's man didn't get their chance to get their hands on her. That Kevin had gotten to her in time.

The familiar feeling of contempt started bubbling up in Jay again. Same as it had consumed him the whole ride here. Ever since he found himself in Erin's apartment, really. Contempt and blame at himself for not getting to Erin sooner— before they had sent Erin walking into a trap. Way before Voight had sent Erin home as a punishment, like a child being grounded to her room.

Because she was his partner and he was responsible for her. Jay knew she had been in a free fall ever since Nadia was murdered. Jay felt Erin slipping through his fingers like the sand on the beach that they found Nadia's dead body at. Him helpless and powerless to do anything to hold onto Erin, no matter how hard he tried so he wouldn't lose her.

He rubbed his face harshly, his skin starting to become red and raw from just how often he had done it. Almost as if it was his way of punishing himself for failing Erin. Because he did. He failed her. Jay should've been there for her more. To ignore her rebuffs of his offer of support and push instead of giving her space like he thought she needed. To call her out on her crap and poor job of pretending as though she was doing okay.

Then maybe Erin wouldn't be in this position right now. Maybe her eyes would still have some life to them instead of the dimmed blank spaces that he had seen too often as of late. Maybe then she would actually have a genuine smile or two on her face instead of the hollow and fake one she pasted, acting as if she was okay for everyone's sake. Everything about her that brought a sinking feeling to his stomach instead of the butterflies like before.

He was terrified for Erin.

He checked his watch again, cursing when another five minutes passed by and still no update and no sign of Erin coming out from the examination room. He kicked the chair in frustration, earning the worried looks from his team at the sudden outburst.

He could feel Voight's eyes on him, the heat of his eyes almost burning a hold on Jay's back. Jay could practically hear Voight's suspicions out loud— like Voight just knew that Jay's concern went further than a typical partner worrying about his partner. Went past the acceptable platonic and professional mark to something more personal, more than friends and more as a man worried about the woman he was in love with.

Jay stopped that thought from going any further because accepting the fact that he was in love with Erin was terrifying. It felt too much like laying his heart on a bomb set to be detonated at any time without warning, leaving it shattered and broken. The etches of his broken heart from the night in the locker room where Erin had put a stop to what they were doing were still there, raw and painful despite Jay's efforts to act otherwise.

"Crazy night," Antonio said, trying to break the tense silence that was in the waiting room. No one bothered to call him out on the understatement of what he said. Commander Perry was murdered, his nephew was in custody, so was the corrupt cops and Roland. Erin almost got killed.

That was another thought Jay didn't want to think too much about. He didn't want to think just how close he came to losing Erin. The helplessness and the rage he felt in the club when he found out that Roland was targeting Erin and was planning on getting revenge on her. The race to get to her place that felt like forever, the only thing Jay could do was to shout at Voight and urge him to go even faster.

Finally, Erin came out of the examination room, the doctor on call right behind her. Immediately, everyone circled around her, hounding her with questions and concerns. Jay saw Erin retreated in herself, like a turtle hiding in its shell.

"I'm fine," Erin preempted all the questions that were bound to come from her team. Voight looked to the doctor for confirmation and Erin huffed, annoyed. "I'm fine," she stressed, the doctor confirming with a nod. She seemed put off that they weren't taking her at her word but Jay knew everyone had been concerned about her. They had all seen the change in Erin since Nadia's death and saw through the fake act she had been putting on.

"You're good to go, Detective Lindsay," the doctor said, giving them a small smile. "Be safe out there."

"Thanks," Erin said as the doctor left and she turned back to multiple pairs of worried eyes. "I'm fine," she repeated, the annoyance growing stronger.

"No harm?" Voight asked, being the only one brave enough to step up.

"No," she retorted. "Just like I told you back at my place that I'm okay. Roland's men didn't get their chance to hurt me. I'm okay. I'm fine. I only came down here to give you a peace of mind and now I just want to get out of here."

The hostility in Erin's voice was enough to have everyone else backing off, offering her well-wishes before they started to leave. All except Voight and Jay. She didn't seem pleased that the two of them were still sticking around.

"What?" she asked, crossing her arms. "You want the testimony from the doctor that I'm okay?"

"We're just worried about you, Erin," Voight said.

She rolled her eyes. "Stop, okay. You don't need to worry about me. Both of you." Jay thought if only it was that easy. "I'm going home," she muttered.

"Wait," Jay called, stopping her by her arm. "I'll take you home."

Erin snuck a peek over at Voight, like she was expecting him to say something about Jay taking her home. But the older man remained silent.

"I'll take a cab."

"No, I'll take you home," Jay insisted, leaving no room for argument. There was no way he was going to have Erin take a cab home after the night she had.

"Go home, Erin," Voight chimed in, sounding authoritative as her boss and caring as a father— a mix that only he seemed to be able to pull off. "Halstead will take you home."

Jay looked at Voight, almost unable to believe that Voight was in agreement with him. Voight met his eyes, the two of them sharing a silent agreement with their eyes only. An unspoken agreement to put aside all of their bullshit and focus on the person they cared about the most— Erin.

"Fine," she gave in. "Let's just get out of here."

Jay followed as she quickly strode down the hallway, like she was desperate to get out of there. He had always been the fast walker of the two, considering he was much taller than her but with the way she was walking, he was trying to catch up to Erin. That was until she slowed to a stop, Jay wondering why.

"I should probably check on Landon," Erin said, rubbing her face.

Jay tried to taper down the jealousy at the mention of the other man's name. He didn't want to feel the same jealousy that he felt when he found Landon in Erin's place earlier tonight, the other man looking like it definitely wasn't his first time in her place. Jay knew he had no right. After all, he and Erin weren't together and she was free to hook up with anyone. That just because he was having an impossible time moving on, unable to even look at another woman that way, Erin wasn't obligated to do the same.

"I'm sure he's okay. Ruzek went to get an update on him earlier and he said they're letting him go home after getting an all clear from an MRI," Jay filled Erin in.

"Oh." She seemed relieved.

"You can check on him tomorrow. Right now, I just want to take you home and you need to get some rest," Jay said, trying to keep his voice emotionless.

She studied him for a beat before she quietly agreed.

Her place looked like a crime scene— probably because it was a crime scene. The shattered glass from the vase was still on the ground and the furniture were out of its usual places.

Erin stood, unmoving, like she was just taking the whole scene in. Jay gently placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling how tense she was under his touch. She shook him off, unwilling to accept his comfort. Instead of frustration at how she was brushing his help off again, Jay just became even more worried for her.

He had no idea what to do or what to say to get through to Erin. To stop her from acting like she was okay and just turn to him. He was willing to do anything to piece the broken woman in front of him together and the only thing she seemed willing to do was to push him away at every opportunity.

"Erin," he called her name gently, hoping that she would at least turn around and face him.

"It's late, Jay. Go home."

Jay's heart ached when he heard the catch in her throat, Erin obviously trying to hold her emotions down. Instead of going home, Jay just went into the kitchen to where he knew she kept the small broom and dustpan. He headed back over to the living room and started cleaning up the mess.

"Why don't you go take a hot shower? I'll have this clean up by the time you're done," Jay suggested. Erin remained unmoving, her eyes on him like she couldn't really process what he was doing. "Erin."

She finally seemed to shake herself out of her stupor and a scowl crossed her face, Erin obviously ready to pick a fight with him. Jay braced himself for it, knowing that it was yet another defensive mechanism of hers. A way to deflect so she wouldn't have to look vulnerable in front of him.

She knelt down and tried to grab the broom out of his hand, Jay pulling it away from her.

"Stop! You're going to hurt yourself," Jay warned, careful as to not hurt Erin so she wouldn't get cut by the broken glass.

"Just give it to me," she demanded. "I can clean up my mess by myself. Get out."

Despite Erin trying to appear cold, Jay could hear her voice about to crack.

"Just let me help you, Erin," he said, almost begging. He was desperate. He was terrified. He just wanted to help her and he had no idea how. "Just let me help."

She hissed as she jumped up suddenly and marched over to the counter, her back facing him. "I don't need your damn help, Jay. I just need you to leave me alone."

He slowly approached her, not getting too close. "I can't do that. Not when you're like this."

She whirled her head around, fire in her eyes. "Like what?" she said, her jaw set. "Like a drunk? An addict? A person that gets high and does lines of cocaine and fuck some guy she barely even knows?"

Jay tried to keep his face neutral, not letting her see how much her words stabbed him. It hurt him to hear her talk about her like this.

"Erin, this isn't you."

A derisive chuckle came out of her. "That's where you're wrong, Jay. Because it is me. It has always been me. I have always been bad news and I bring everyone around me down." Jay tried to reach out for her but she waved him off.

"Erin."

"No!" she turned her back on him again. "Just go, Jay. Please just leave. Leave before I drag you down with me too," she begged brokenly.

Jay felt his eyes starting to water, unable to see the amount of pain Erin was in. He wanted to stay there and hold her forever, as long as it took to convince her that she wasn't bad news. In fact, she was the opposite. But Jay knew he wouldn't be able to get through to her. Not tonight when everything that happened earlier was still raw.

He sighed, stepping closer to her. He laid a hand on her shoulder tenderly, hoping that she wouldn't push him away. She didn't nor did she turn to look at him but Jay would take any small victory he would right now.

"I'll go," he started, giving Erin what she wanted. "But before I do, I just want you to know something." He took a deep breath, trying to keep his voice steady. He wanted to pour all the conviction he could into what he was about to say so there'd be no room for any doubt or interpretation of his words. "You're not bad news, Erin. You don't bring the people around you down. In fact, it's the opposite. You have no idea just how changed my life for the better. I wouldn't be the cop or the person I am today without you."

He heard soft sniffles from Erin but she still wasn't turning around and acknowledging him. Jay just considered himself lucky that she was willing to listen to him.

"I know you're not ready to accept what I'm saying right now but I'll say it anyway. Because everything I'm telling you is the truth," he paused, taking another deep breath. "You're the best thing that happened to me, Erin. You're the best part of my life."

He wanted to say more— maybe even those three words that would change everything between them— but he knew she definitely wasn't ready to hear it. So for right now, he just leaned in to press a lingering kiss on the back of her head, wordlessly letting her know just how much he cared about her.

It was so hard to pull away from her and it felt like he was leaving his heart behind as he walked out of her place and closed the door, leaving Erin alone like she wanted. He leaned against the door, closing his eyes, his heart breaking when he heard her cry on the other side.

As much as he wanted to knock the door down to get to her, he knew he couldn't. He couldn't force Erin to open up to him, no matter how many times he had offered her his shoulders to cry on. At least not tonight.

Tomorrow, he'd try again. He'd never give up on her.

Tomorrow.

Little did he know, he wouldn't get the chance tomorrow.