I'M BACK! Sorry this chapter took so long to produce. :/ I was in a real rut plot-wise. Gonna be honest, not too proud of this chapter.
But, here it is anyway! Enjoy xx
[Game Saved]
[HP- 100/100]
[SP- 100/100]
My eyes snapped open.
I was back in my cot like nothing had happened.
Perfect.
Sitting up at the same time as Lani, I turned my head and we made eye contact. My first instinct was to run straight over to her so we could brainstorm. But my intentions must have shown on my face because she subtly shook her head, telling me 'No. Wait'.
Fair enough.
Lani had more information than me, plus she needed time to fleece out scenarios in her runscript.
I could give her that time by acting as if this was any other day. The less suspicious we acted, the less attention we drew from our monitors, the better chance we had at saving everyone. I trusted Lani wholeheartedly now to get things done while I stalled.
After all, she had come back; she hadn't abandoned me.
Surely, she had proven my worries of being left behind invalid with that.
…right?
Lying back done, I settled into my lumpy mattress and tried to snuggle underneath my blanket. Unfortunately, my summer-thin sheet and my flimsy hospital gown provided little heat to burrow into. It was only thanks to my gamer's body's healing feature that I wasn't suffering from frostbite right now. Instead, I was just a tad chilly compared to my fellow wardmates' frozen.
Thirty minutes later, Igor stomped in and yelled, "Get up! Tell me what you want, or you get no food and water!" like clockwork.
Lani and I joined the line together, slipping in behind my Asian neighbour and the Afro-American boy. The latter shot us a dirty look for getting in before him while the three-year-old ravenette stared into space like she didn't have a care in the world.
Ideally, I wondered how she did it?
Either she had incredible mental self-discipline, or her survival instincts were completely shot…
"Psst!" A finger tapped my shoulder, "Meet me at my cot in ten."
I covered my corresponding head nod with a cough.
Two rations and one folded-up cup later, my HP had upped by thirty nourishment points and I was marching over to join my partner in crime. I situated myself at the end of her cot, mirroring her crossed legs-hands in lap pose.
"First of all, do we know if the cameras have audio?" I asked.
Lani shook her head. "They don't. I checked in my Runscript; they only have a video feed."
"Good. Do you think there's a chance they'll lip-read our conversation?"
Again, she shook her head. "I doubt it. They haven't done so before and I doubt they would start now," she concluded.
With that out of the way, we got down to business.
Lani explained that there were no exits on Level 5, including windows. The guards left her alone while she explored so she assumed they were given orders to not shoot on site. Unlike the guards on Level 1 who had shot at her indiscriminately. She even claimed one bullet had even nicked her as she was apparating around a corner.
Judging by those two facts, we had to presume the no-shoot order was only in effect on Level 5.
Regarding hiding places, there were very few. Level 5 seemed to be the main living quarters of the Base and thus, had little to no hidden spaces. The floor was mostly made up of other sleeping wards, individual rooms with a single bed (not a cot), as well as communal showering stalls and a kitchen.
Lani had spotted a few storage rooms sprinkled about randomly too. The first one she explored had been filled with spare supplies like sheets, pillows, blankets, clothes, and weapons. While the other one had been filled with weapons. Lots and LOTS of weapons.
She hadn't had time to explore the rest, but she estimated they were filled with supplies too.
These storage rooms would have been perfect hiding spots! Though sadly, they were all locked…
The only reason Lani had gotten in at all was due to her Alchemy Talent.
"Can't you apparate to each one and unlock them then?" I asked.
"Apparating takes 25 SP points and Alchemy uses 20," she explained, "I would run out of points before I got to the fourth door. Even if I had more SP, I haven't memorised where each one is located."
Well, that had an obvious solution, "Can you memorise their locations?"
Lani sighed heavily, "All the doors looked identical, Chrissy."
That was a no then.
To make matters worse, Lani described Level 5 as having long, winding halls that interconnected like a labyrinth Daedalus would be proud of. Plus, to further confuse the inhabitants, there were no signs, no helpful landmarks, and no map. The doors didn't even have numbers on them, for crying out loud!
How HYDRA's staff didn't get lost on the regular was a mystery.
Then again, who was I to say they didn't?
"There is no way we can hide all twenty of us on Level 5 effectively," Lani said, "Even if we had more time to hide, and even if we had more SP to spare, there aren't enough hiding places. I think it's best we bypass the game altogether and focus on escaping."
I nodded solemnly, "Agreed."
That meant we had to go for the exit to this hell-hole instead.
You would think this exit could be found on Level 1, as that was the last floor the elevator would go to. However, Level 1 was not on ground level.
No, no, no. The ground level was on Level 0!?
This "mythical floor" could only be accessed via an elevator on the other side of Level 1. A.k.a. the elevator that accessed the rest of the Base/The one we had used before. To make things EVEN HARDER, Level 1 was ALSO designed like an unsolvable maze. Complete with dead-ends, interconnected loops, and guards posted next to every door that may or may not lead anywhere.
Oh, and let's not forget they had orders to shoot on-site!
"Okay. So, let's say we make it to this elevator without anybody dying" I hedged, "Does this elevator have a special locking mechanism? Do we know how many guards are guarding it? What's the likelihood that it's even turned on?!"
Lani leant back against the railing and folded her arms. Her violet eyes hardened as she shot me a look that screamed, "Will you calm down? I was getting there."
My complaints died on the tip of my tongue.
"There are two guards posted at the elevator entrance," she huffed, "Yes, there is a keyhole slotted above an enclosed keypad. No, I do not know the nine-digit code."
Well, wasn't that just splendid? Next, she was gonna say the code changed every hour!
"However, we don't need the code because I'll use my Alchemy to open the doors and the elevator works just like the main one."
"Oh…" Now I felt sheepish for doubting her, "That's good."
Wait.
No, it wasn't!
"How are we going to survive the cold once we get outside!?" I asked frantically, "We're in Siberia, Lani! It must be below freezing out there! We'll die of hypothermia in minutes!"
Lani had the audacity to roll her eyes at my perfectly valid questions. "Relax, would you? There will be supply trucks waiting for us. All we need to do is pick one to hijack and we'll be on our way to the nearest town in no time."
"Supply trucks? Are you sure?"
That sounded oddly coincidental… what if she'd been mistaken?
My friend leant forward and took my shaking hands in her own. Her amethyst orbs locked onto my own. "I'm sure, Chrissy," she said, squeezing tightly, "Trust me. We are going to be okay."
Right. We were going to be okay.
I would use my Siren Talent to charm the guards, Lani would lead us to the elevator, and then I'd charm the guards again. Lani would direct us through Level 1's Labyrinth, use her Alchemy to open the doors, and I would keep the staff distracted while we hijacked a truck on Level 0.
If we needed someone to drive the vehicle, I'd simply compel us a driver.
It wasn't a foolproof plan; there were many places it could go wrong. But I had faith in Lani and our abilities. Together, we would escape to freedom with everyone safe.
HYDRA would be a barely remembered nightmare by daybreak!
"Let's do this!" I smiled.
Lani grinned, "Let's do this."
[Game Saved]
[HP- 100/100]
[SP- 100/100]
I crawled back to the world of the living, kicking and screaming. A dozen images flashed across my retinas, too fast to fully comprehend yet perfectly clear in my mind's eye. Mint green concrete, Lani's curls swishing to and fro, a sea of white, bodies on the ground, guns shots ringing in my ears, the violent wrench of apparition, indescribable pain.
On and on it went, until the memories all blurred together into RED/FEAR/PAIN!
"…aaaAAARRRHHH!" Lani's cry echoed around the ward, waking the dead.
I was by her side in seconds.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god-" Lani sobbed, big fat tears collecting in her eyes. As gently as I could, I slipped under her blanket and pulled her into a hug.
"Shhhh, Lani," I whispered, directing her face into my shoulder, "It's over, you're okay, you're safe now."
The woman in a four-year-old's body cried until her tear ducts ran dry.
Igor came and went before she spoke again.
"We have to try again," she said, "We have to!"
Internally, I winced. Outwardly, I asked, "Are you sure? We don't know what went wrong last time… Maybe it's best we just scout this time around, ok?"
Lani sat up abruptly, releasing the warm bubble of air we'd collected.
"No! I already know what went wrong. We don't need to waste time scouting, Chrissy! We have to try again NOW."
The fire in her inhuman eyes left no room for argument.
So, we tried again.
…
And again.
…
And again.
…
And again.
[Game Saved]
[HP- 100/100]
[SP- 100/100]
Somewhere out there Odin was sitting on his golden throne, pitying me. At least, that's what I liked to think. Perhaps he wasn't pitying me at all. Perhaps my pathetic mortal life had deemed me inferior in his eyes. Thus, it was not the AllFather watching over my plight at all, but Heimdall.
I doubted the all-seeing Asgardian cared either.
And why would he?
Heimdall got to stand at the gates of Asgard and wield the Bifrost to anywhere in the Galaxy. His eyes allowed him to monitor every soul in the Nine Realms; a task he had been doing since the dawn of Yggdrasill. Who was I amongst all that brilliance? What made my life more special than anyone else's? What right did I have to think he was watching me, specifically, suffer?
From his perch amongst the heavens, he bared witness to hundreds of thousands of massacres every minute. HECK! Thanos alone wiped out half a planet's entire population every second Thursday.
Why would Heimdall care if fifteen innocent Midgardian children were about to be ruthlessly slaughtered?
The reality was, he wouldn't.
No one with power was pitying me because no one with power was watching.
What had happened here… what was going to happen here… didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Not really. How did I know that? Well, none of the kids in my ward was mentioned in the MCU. The experiment we were no doubt a part of hadn't even been referenced as a side project in a deleted scene somewhere.
In canon, the twenty of us were most likely just names in a file on a set prop.
My throat closed up and my bottom lip quivered at the realisation.
God! Fifteen of us were going to die today and there was nothing I could do to stop it!
I wished that I were more powerful. I wished that I had the strength to apparate all these kids to somewhere safe. I wished that my Siren Talent were a little stronger or lasted a little longer. I wished that Lani had come up with a better escape plan.
I wished I wished, I wished.
But I could wish all day and nothing would change. Strucker had deemed that only five children would survive today's game, so only five children would.
It was as simple as that.
My heart shrivelled up inside my chest.
… I felt helpless. Truly and utterly helpless.
We'd tried and we'd failed to escape more times than I could count; you couldn't get more helpless than that. Really, it was the definition of pathetic.
"BANG!" The cell door swung open.
"Get up! Tell me what you want, or you get no food and water!" Igor yelled.
I didn't get up. I didn't move a muscle.
What was the point? Whether I ate or not wouldn't change anything. Whether my body was nourished and hydrated didn't matter. Not really. Anything I did today was inconsequential to how it would end. So, what was the point of eating and drinking? I'd probably just vomit it up later anyway.
"Food and water.", "Food please!", "Water and food, please.", "Food? F, food."
Sometime later, Igor left.
The door clicked shut behind him.
I lay on my cot, unmoving as the hours passed me by.
Tommy asked why I looked sad, I said I was tired. The two blond brothers, Philip and Juunes offered to get me water, I told them I wasn't thirsty. The Arabian boy, Fadi asked if I wanted to half a ration with him, I said I wasn't hungry.
Even the Afro-American boy, Sam tried to crack a joke and cheer me up… I didn't laugh.
Notably, Lani didn't approach.
Which made sense, I guess. From her perspective, the ally she'd met yesterday was just acting mopey. She didn't remember the loops because this version of her hadn't looped at all. I'd effectively wiped her memory when I'd reloaded before her.
I was the only one who knew what was going to happen now…
A part of me wanted to tell her, while another part wanted to save her sanity. There was no need for her to know today was the last day she would see her friends. She didn't need to know that everyone in this room had died more than once. Nor, that we had failed to save them already.
The knowledge might just break her and as much as I wished I had a companion to share this burden with, I couldn't put Lani through that again.
In this case, ignorance truly was bliss.
"BANG!"
The cell door opened again and Von Strucker waltzed in.
"Hello, children! Today, we are going to play a game of 'Hide and Seek'!" he gestured to the Winter Soldier standing in the doorway, "My little wolf is going to be the seeker. Yes! If the wolf finds you, the game is over… Only the last survivors will win."
The Soldier stepped to the side, leaving the cell's exit free of obstruction.
"You have twenty minutes to hide," Wolfgang said, "Ready? GO!"
Lani was the first one out the door.
This time, I didn't begrudge her for running. It improved her odds of being one of the five.
[Siren Talent Activated]
"EVERYONE STAY CALM AND DON'T BE AFRAID!" I commanded the children, "Leave this room, find a hiding spot and STAY QUIET!"
I hummed a single note under my breath, wished them all 'good luck', and exited the ward for the last time. Their fates were out of my hands now. All I could do for them was ensure they weren't afraid when they died.
Now, it was my duty to stand as a witness. If no one else was going to remember they were here, that they had suffered and been scared and died a cruel, pointless death to a madman, then I would.
I would remember them; I would care.
"Tommy, Philip, Juunes, Sam, Fadi, Shiho, Sandra, Feliks, Johanna, Suji, Harry, Dong-Min, Sandip, Sonja, Joelle, Shancai, Jason, You-May-Say," I listed off the names of the kids, one by one, over and over again as if reciting a mantra.
Meanwhile, my feet guided my body to the main elevator doors.
My mouth compelled the guards to open them and forget they ever saw me.
My legs rooted me to the elevator floor as the doors sealed shut.
I waited for death to come to me.
"Someone tell me how I got here…? From the city to this frontier…? All the noises join to make… Haaarmoneeey," I lay down on the metal floor and stared up at the white strobe lights. "I was stranded on an island… Where I roamed without direction… is that the wind lifting me up…? Spirits fly at the speed of liiight! At the speed of liiight. Travelling like a dream one niiiIIIiiight. The soul in my heart is proof of liiiIIIiight… Life. Goes. On… And the people sing their soOong… Love. And. Hate… tooogeeetheeer, they can make… Haaarmoneeey."
I must have laid there for hours, singing quietly to myself. I couldn't really tell you. The outside world felt far, far away from me. I could have laid there for five minutes or I could have laid there for five hours.
Who knows? Either way, I didn't care.
If those doors were too open right then and the Winter Soldier walked in to snap my neck, I wouldn't have done anything to stop him. Death at this point just gave me the excuse to rewind time and do it all over again.
… And to be honest, I was sick of seeing children's corpses.
When the Winter Soldier did arrive, he did open the elevator doors and he did step inside. But he made no move to snap my neck or take my life in any other fashion. Instead, he stared down at me in question, one eyebrow raised as if to say, "What are you doing? There's no snow here to make a snow angel?"
[Siren Talent Deactivated]
[SP- 25/100 (-75 for extended Talent use)]
Huh.
So, I'd been hiding here for longer than two hours? That must have been a new HYDRA record.
An awkward minute passed where the Winter Soldier stared, I continued to lie boneless on the floor and the two guards outside tried not to wet themselves in the presence of the world's deadliest assassin.
NEWS FLASH! They didn't succeed.
"Are you going to kill me?" I eventually asked, voice worryingly flat.
"No," he said.
"Why?"
"My orders are to bring the last five subjects to the lab," he replied.
Everyone else was dead then.
Tommy would no longer ask me to sing him to sleep... Philip would never again half his rations for Juunes… Juunes was never going to not-so-sneakily slip into Philip's cot for cuddles…
Sam would no longer laugh at my jokes, Fadi wasn't going to scowl when I slipped in line before him, and I'd never get to see Shiho stare dreamily into space again. Johanna wasn't going to need help de-tangling her curls, Suji would no longer be chewing her nails to stubs, and Harry, Sandip, and Dong-Min were never going to form their daily pee-circle.
Joelle and Shangcai would never again get the chance to argue with Sonja and You-May-Say over which was the correct way to pronounce 'Water' in Russian.
Lani hadn't gotten the chance to say goodbye to Sandra and Feliks…
'You no longer have to watch their bodies drain of blood or watch their eyes turn milky white.'
I wished Heimdall had at least been watching when they died.
'He wasn't.'
"Come," Bucky ordered.
I stayed on the floor.
"Come," he said again.
Lolling my head to the side, I directed all my apathy for the universe his way, "Was it quick?"
One of the guards choked on air.
"I terminated the subjects," He replied.
I looked back up at the white lights and sighed, "So that's a no then."
The other guard appeared to stop breathing.
Bucky, to his credit, did not blink at this proclamation. Instead, he bent down, shifted my arms so they were crossed over my stomach, slipped his metal arm under my shoulders and put his normal one under my knees. All so he could lift me up bridal style.
My eyes tracked his movements the entire time, distantly noting how his vibranium arm whirred and clicked.
"Wh, wh, what are you doing, Soldier?!" The guard who'd choked squeaked.
… Was that the one I'd nick-named Sven?
"My orders are to find the last five subjects and take them to the lab," Bucky repeated.
"B, b, but! But why are you carrying it!?" Mabey-Sven stuttered.
"Rude," I muttered under my breath.
The other guard looked at his partner like he'd just admitted to sleeping with his sister's puppy. I. E. shocked and flabbergasted, if not secretly impressed at his gumption.
The Winter Soldier stared at the guy, unblinking. I was sure fangirls everywhere were screaming at the super-serious brooding eyes he was using.
Sven audibly gulped, "Make sure to go straight th, th, there! No detours, Solider!"
The other guard nodded enthusiastically.
For a fleeting moment, I imagined activating my Siren Talent and ordering Sven and Other-Sven to gun each other down. Sadly, Bucky spun around, cutting off my line of sight and the fantasy ended.
I couldn't be bothered to waste SP on them anyway.
Bucky proceeded to navigate the hallways while I hung limply in his arms, not really thinking or caring about anything.
Internally, I knew I should have been screaming or crying right now. Yet outwardly, I just felt empty… numb… like a spectator in my own life. The rational part of my brain recognised this feeling as disassociation. I'd always assumed the experience would be like a third person dream, the kind where you watched your body move around and interact with the world but had no say in what it did.
In reality, it was closer to an extreme sense of apathy.
My eyes recorded the world around me, my brain acknowledged the colours it saw, my body moved on its own, and my skin registered physical sensation. And yet there was no joy, there was no sadness, there was no fear.
I didn't care if the walls were made of concrete or plaster or wood or foam because none of it interested me. None of those things affected my life, nor did they have any say on what would happen to me next. So why should I have cared? What would have been the point?
It all just seemed so pointless.
I knew not feeling was wrong. I knew I should have felt very, very, VERY scared. But… I just didn't.
That was the Catch-22 of Disassociation, I realised.
In the bid to shelter me from my overwhelming emotions, I'd also lost the ability to care, to be happy, to feel love and be empathetic. Sure, I was currently getting a reprieve from sadness, anger, fear, self-loathing, etc. But the price was the loss of my self-preservation instinct.
'You win some you lose some, right?'
Haaah, I was so screwed.
Entering HYDRA's Laboratory of Horror, I was promptly laid out on an examination table before being ditched. The Lab itself was something of a mix between Tony Stark's Tower and WW2 HYDRA's Tesseract Factory. Meaning there were lots of fantastical machines radiating airy blue light, groups of scientists in white lab coats hovering around work stations reminiscent of my NCEA Biology Class, and hospital beds scattered about haphazardly. Each one was accompanied by various medical equipment that may or may not have been used in a regular Hospital today.
As for the examination table I was on, the sting of cool metal was to be expected. Though the presence of restraining belts was a tad disconcerting. Thankfully, the scientist who appeared at my side made no move to strap me down. So, I figured it was safe to assume drugless surgery wasn't on the agenda.
Overall, my impression of the place went less along the lines of 'Oh the Horror! Dr Jekyll is going to dissect me!' and closer too 'Huh? When did the Nurses Office get merged with the Science Lab?'.
I gave it a 2/10 for creepiness. They really could have tried harder, tbh.
Lab Coat Number 1 (Newly dubbed 'Anya'), got to work wrapping my left bicep in a navy-blue armband attached to an extremely ordinary heart pressure machine. The entire time she manually bumped the thing full of air, she made no move to talk to me, let alone make eye contact.
I briefly entertained the idea of compelling the woman to hold her breath until her face turned blue… She would certainly have to look at me then, wouldn't she?
Then the pressure released, and the thought passed.
She was just another cog in a machine anyway.
If I killed her, another ant would soon scramble to fill her place. That was the great thing about HYDRA; if one worker was squished, there would always be another ready and willing to take its place.
The rest of the check-up passed by in the blink of an eye.
One moment, Anya was listening to my heart and lungs with her stethoscope. The next, she was collecting a tissue swab from the inside of my cheek. I was just beginning to think, "This isn't so bad," when a GIANT NEEDLE was inserted into the crook of my arm.
Immediately, pain danced across my nerves and the floor fell out from under me. The feel of something hard and cold wiggling below my skin was beyond unpleasant, it was horrific.
"Relax your fist," Anya said, ignoring my rapidly paling face.
I shook my head.
My world was spinning enough as it was. I could only imagine what the sensation of having my life essence drained from my veins would do!?
"Open your fist or I'll have to sedate you," she warned.
The threat of adding another needle into the mix forced my hand. Ever so reluctantly, I uncurdled my fingers one by one till my palm lay flat against the table. As if opening the flood gates, the syringe began to quickly fill with bright red blood.
… My blood…
The world seemed to tip on its axis as my body went into shock.
(Nobody stepped forward to comfort me)
[HP- 95/100 (-5 for Damage)]
Black edged into the corners of my vision, increasing an inch for every millilitre stolen.
[HP- 94/100 (-1 for Blood Loss)]
[HP- 93/100 (-1 for Blood Loss)]
[HP- 92/100 (-1 for Blood Loss)]
[HP- 91/100 (-1 for Blood Loss)]
[HP- 90/100 (-1 for Blood Loss)]
Just as the bliss of unconsciousness was about to whisk me away to greener parches, Anya removed the needle and taped a cotton ball onto the puncture hole. The skin around the wound was already two shades too dark; I had no doubt the entire vein would bruise.
The urge to compel the wench returned ten-old. I could've made her stab her eyes out with needles, I could've ordered her to slit her wrists and swallow her stethoscope. The possibilities were only limited by my imagination of what was humanly possible.
Unfortunately, the energy required for the task seemed too much when my stomach was currently resting in my heels.
'You'll get her next time!' my inner voice promised. I audibly sighed; that would have to be enough.
"Can you stand?" Anya asked, having packed up her equipment.
"I nearly fainted," I dead-panned, "Does it look like I can stand?"
The old hag raised an imperious eyebrow at me, "Oh? You should have said."
Before I could answer, Lab Coat Number 2 (Dubbed 'Reimar') scooped me off the table and headed into a darkened room labelled 'окулист'. Inside sat the kind of equipment I'd only seen at the optometrist's. There was the poster with the shrinking letters, the padded chair with its many-lensed binoculars, the camera with the chin rest, and the laminated sheets that tested to see if you were colour-blind or 3D-blind.
Even better, the room had no cameras…Meaning we were all alone.
As I was positioned in front of the chair, it suddenly dawned on me that I could splinch this man four ways to Sunday and nobody would come running in here to stop me. Reimar was literally at my mercy and he didn't even know it.
'Come on,' the voice sang, 'You know you want too~'
The idea was even more tempting than blinding Anya had been.
"Get in the chair," Reimar snapped.
Crawling into position, I contemplated when exactly my thoughts had gotten so violent?
One thoroughly mundane eye exam later, I was diagnosed with a lazy eye. Specifically, my left one.
According to HYDRA's optometrist, it was a mild case that made my vision slightly fuzzy in that eye. It was an unwelcome surprise to learn my Gamer's Body hadn't fixed all my illnesses. I'd kinda been hoping to have 20/20 Vision this time around.
"This will need to be fixed," Reimar muttered to himself, well within earshot, "I'll have to squeeze her in on Friday... No, no, I'm seeing Charlie that day. Argh! I'll swap her out with Nik on Tuesday."
I guess that meant I was having surgery sooner rather than later.
Whoopie?
Something about that didn't sit right with me…
The next mindless lackey to snatch me away was Lab Coat Number 3 (Nicknamed 'Alexei'). The perfect example of an Aryan popped his head into the toom like sideways whack-a-mole and asked, "You finished yet? I'm licking my balls out here!"
Ahhh, what? That had to be a translation error, surely.
Reimar clearly knew what the dude was getting at because he waved him off with a chuckle. "Yeah, yeah, you and your cabinet," he grumbled, "Leave some for the rest of us, would you?"
Um. Okay. Clearly, their inside joke didn't make sense in English.
Alexei scoffed good-naturedly before swinging his gaze to meet mine. "You!" he jerked his chin over his shoulder, "Follow me."
I got to my feet on auto-pilot and followed Alexei back into the Lab of not-so-bad horror. Just in time to catch Bucky's return. Behind me, Reimar snapped his door shut while in front of me, Alexei froze in place. All around the Lab, worker bee's followed suit. The terror elicited by the Winter Soldier's apparently made weenies of them all.
Oblivious to the mood of the room, Von Strucker addressed the brainwashed assassin like one would a misbehaving dog.
"Took you long enough! "He snapped, "Was this one causing you any trouble, my little wolf?"
"No, sir," Bucky replied.
'This one' referred to a pale-faced Lani hovering by his side.
[LANI CHEN]
[HP- 90/100]
[SP- 45/100]
Distantly, I was relieved to learn she'd survived. (Not that I'd doubted she wouldn't of course)
As the conversation continued, Alexei snapped out of his funk and continued his trek for the door labelled, "…" His path just so happened to go straight past Lani and Anya's station. I purposefully slowed my gait ever so slightly as we passed, giving me just enough time to sneak in a once-over.
Lani's violet irises were blown wide, the whites of her eyes were red, and her tears ducts were still leaking. Her once healthy tanned skin now looked sallow and pale. While her feet, knees and palms were coated in centuries-old dust.
"You okay?" I mouthed, catching her eye.
Her gaze remained hollow. She could have given a zombie a run for its money.
I could relate.
Alexei led me to an indoor gymnasium, complete with a running track and various playground equipment on the outskirts. If it weren't for the concrete interior, I may have mistaken it for my old high school gym.
Though I doubted HYDRA had procured the place for something as innocuous as playing. That would've been one step too close to humanity for them.
For the next half, an hour or so (I couldn't really tell you how long) Alexei had me go through a series of hellish fitness tests. There were the classics such as the fifty-metre dash, how many push-ups I could do in a minute, how long could I hold a plank, and the 'squat against a wall till your legs feel like needles' exercise.
Then there were the modern-day tortures like THE BEEP TEST! And the mini-marathon.
All in all, it was a near-perfect re-enactment of my year eleven P.E. Class.
By the time Lab Coat Number 4 (Christened 'Olaf') arrived to take me away, I was a sweaty, shaky mess on the floor with spots of hatred blooming red on white. The emotion was by no means consuming or visible on my face, but it was enough to know that the apathy wasn't going to last forever.
That meant the shock was slowly fading.
When my breakdown came, I could only hope it happened in private. Dormammu knew my dignity couldn't take much more humiliation.
Olaf took me to a corridor lined with individual cells and deposited my unresponsive ass into the second one from the end. The little cell was automatically a remarkable improvement from the ward. For one, it had a shower stall with a drawn curtain in the corner, an actual toilet equipped with toilet paper adjacent, and a fully bedded cot next to a metal desk.
On top of which sat a pile of clothes.
The sight was too much, too soon.
I felt as if I was being rewarded for killing my friends, for hiding like a coward while they were ruthlessly slaughtered. There may as well have been a sign on the wall saying, "Hey, you did it! You're a coward! Here, have some living necessities as a reward."
It was all so wrong.
'You don't deserve a bed,' my inner guilt sneered, 'You let your friends die! HYDRA should through you to the wolves and let the Siberian elements punish you!'
All at once, I felt sick. Racing over to the toilet, I dropped to my knees and retched bile. My shoulder-length hair got caught in the stream, but I didn't care. My throat burned, my stomach was full of rocks, my heart was screaming out in pain, and my ribcage ached.
And yet I knew I deserved worse.
Curling up on the cold hard tiles, I shut my eyes and let a song slip from my lips.
"It's a little cold in paradise tonight,
Love faded.
I'm finding new forms, I ride it out,
It's fine for now.
Then you come along, and I cry,
Liberated.
I'm seeing clearly now, there's no turning back, and I'm overwhelmed,
Do you really want to set the night on fire?
You're my only way out.
Do you really want to turn your life around again?
You know you're my last chance.
Can you feel my, can you feel my, can you feel my tears? They won't dry.
Can you feel my, can you feel my tears drops of the loneliest giiIIiirl? The loneliest girl."
Drop by drop, tears began to roll down my cheeks.
I felt empty… As if something fundamental had been taken from me... There was an empty hole in my soul where once there had been a spark of life. And now, all it could do was weep.
"Can you really love with a broken heart in the cold rain?
I'm giving it a try, I'll let it fly, you can count me in,
And when the night falls, I'll be on your side,
These eyes don't lie.
Cuz my defeated hearts got nothing to hide, it's my only vice.
Can you feel my, can you feel my, can you feel my tears? They won't dry.
Can you feel my, can you feel my teardrops of the loneliest giiIIiirl? The loneliest girl."
My dreams that night were filled with nothing but echoes of the dead.
Songs: ís by Yoko Kanno and Loneliest Girl by Carole & Tuesday
Always looking out for song suggestions!