A/N: So I did this chapter kinda weird but I hope you enjoy...and I promise, this is a yaoi. I'm just trying to be realistic
In Fucking Review: There's nothing to review...its 2 chapters but for those who dont know IFR is where I review past chapter in a brief summary so you remember and can follow the new chapter better
"Daddy! Daddy!"
The usual cheers after the heavy pitter patter of little feet toward the door to greet the male. Of course he would bend down and smile lovingly at them. His little joys would go on a rant about their day in nursery, and he would listen attentively with the occasional over acted words of shock and interest...then the less joyful one would come over.
"Welcome home baby."
Her voice, it's usual loving. The hug and kiss, the usual warmth...but her eyes...cold.
"Yeah...I'm home." Naruto replied with a toothy grin, pacing through his crowd of tiny fans to the living room, plopping down his briefcase on the couch.
"Don't put it there please. Just put it in the bedroom one time...and take a bath."
"You're not going to ask me how the interview went?" He questioned, reclaiming the bag in hand and walking down the hall.
He got no response and he wasn't surprised in anyway by it either.
They always went bad.
Naruto spooned another mouthful of mushed food for Himawari with her favourite airplane theatrics which would always cause their older one to giggle, trying his best to eat like a grown up at the table.
It looked the stock image for a perfect family...if such a thing did exist.
Things had been rough for them for awhile.
The moment the children came into the equation was the start of the problem if Naruto was honest.
Hinata thought he was irresponsible and immature. He wasn't contributing enough. It became so hectic that she even quit her nursing job in favour of a tutoring job instead which didn't pay as much but it allowed her to balance work and the kids. Naruto felt it was unfair to say such a thing because he worked everyday to put food on the table until he realized just how much she was doing on her own. They were both new to this whole parenting thing...
No amount of classes, books and training could actually prepare you for the real thing nor it effects.
They had to invest money into therapy for her. She felt no connection to Boruto and it suffocated her. Before she started, she already felt like she was failing at being a Mother and he was never there to support her.
Always at work to come home and sleep...but they worked it out.
They expected struggle. They knew it wouldn't be easy. He thought they got through the hard part...rinse and repeat but...
It was around that time the way she looked at him began to change.
She would say that it was merely stress that affected our relationship and that it could be fixed...that she would fix it but...
Naruto knew the truth.
"How was the interview dear?"
"Long...I have another tomorrow. A small managerial position for Hyuga Corporations at one of their branches. Hopefully it goes well." He replied with a smile, shooing away the little fingers beside him that reached for the meat on his plate with a chuckle.
"Have you prepared for it? Need me to press your suit?"
"...No dear. It's fine. I know you're tried from being on your feet all day at work so I'll handle it."
"Okay then."
Her rose coloured glassed dropped. She was just seeing him for who he was for the first time when Boruto was born. The illusion was over of a perfect man out of the perfect fairytale.
She noticed that I didn't kiss her with my eyes closed or fuck her with the lights on...
Things like that.
Then this little bundle happened. The large blue eyes stared up at him as though he was her whole world.
That's when his guilt hit him the worst he'd ever felt.
He already felt bad about everything. Tried hard to keep it together and just be there and more aware and more present. Give it his all despite how miserable he felt...
And sure when Boruto was born he felt...guilty for bring a child into a relationship he himself had no faith in but...this for some reason hurt worst.
He recalled all his past. "mistakes" and regrets. The things he did before him and Hinate got married...and the things he did after...and the fact that he enjoyed it with little regard for how such a caring woman would feel had she known what he had done.
If she found out that everything they built was a lie because Naruto was afraid...she would...
"Anything interesting happened at work today?"
"Not really. I gave the students a study guide since they were having difficulty following and went though it...that's about it really."
There was no one to talk to because he was so ashamed of it all...but beer listened...the one night stands...listened.
They made him forget for even just a moment what a shitty person he was. Made him feel like he served love despite all the horrible things he did...even if it was a lie.
Eventually he stopped coming home on a night...and eventually...stopped going to work too.
He lost his job.
They sank more money into therapy until he became clean.
"I'll clear the table and wash up." Naruto spoke up after finishing eating and sending the two off to the living room to watch tv.
"Okay. I'll get the kids ready for bed."
It was harder to watch sober...how unhappy this woman was as she walked out the dining room.
He was trying his best after failing so much. She deserved better.
He didn't deserve her.
"Naruto where did you the face wash?!'
"Um...it should be in the cabinet above!"
"See it?!"
"Yeah!"
They started therapy with some of the savings they had while Naruto started job hunting.
It wasn't a sink like the others...it was an investment...for the kids. To make this work and be there for them.
He worked hard to open his heart. It was difficult getting jobs and losing them again and sometimes he'd fall right back into his own vices.
In therapy Naruto was as upfront as he could with Hinata. Whatever it took to make her feel stable...he would find the words.
"The kids in bed, baby?"
He watched Hinata slump onto the bed of their room with a soft smile.
He had finished washing up and cleaning the kitchen before cleaning the aftermath of the bathroom whilst she helped the children to bed and did all she could to put them to sleep.
"Yeah...It took forever..." She sighed, curling under the sheets with a groan.
"Want me to tuck you in?~"
"Tuck me in?...-oh" She blushed.
He waltzed over and climbed on top, drowning her small body in kisses...kisses that became easier to do over time.
"I have work tomorrow and you have another job interview...we can't do this baby~"
"Don't worry...It's all about your pleasure tonight."
He gulped as he lowered himself down, pulling the others large stretch panties with him and spreading for the view before closing his eyes.
'What would he do?'
But he never spoke the whole truth.
She knew about the many partners and the drinking but not that all of them were men.
"MMmm...fuck..Naruto...Ahhhh~"
"Here?"
"Yes!"
"Keep it down, the kids...shhhh~" He teased before giving her clit a playful suck.
She muffled her moans into the pillow as Naruto slide in another finger, twirling it around in her warm cavern.
She didn't know all of them usual had black hair.
or dark eyes...pale skin.
The closest he could get to the past he enjoyed most...that he denied and buried.
The memories of the times he was held. Pinned down to the bed with force and spread to be admired. It was like he was studying me each and every time.
'He always told me...'
"You're so beautiful."
"I'm going to cum...N...Naruto."
'And whenever he tasted me and feasted on me he would say...'
"You taste so good."
"Wait! IIMMmmmm~"
'And whenever I came he'd say...'
"That felt so good baby~" She managed to speak between breaths, clearly tired and drained after what felt like an hour of service.
Naruto licked his lips and stood, getting a towel from the bathroom. He wet it a bit before returning and wiping off the small female who giggled beneath him in satisfaction.
"I love you" She whispered before closing her eyes and giving into her exhaustion, certain that Naruto would handle the rest.
She didn't bother waiting for what she knew wouldn't come.
It didn't come tonight either.
"Yeah..."
She couldn't figure out what held him back. It was after Himawari was born that...he simply couldn't say it anymore. Like something was holding him back...always on his mind. His eyes were always filled with anxiousness and worry and guilt...but never...
'That he loved me...'
Love