Chapter 3:
Night came and went, and morning soon arrived. Immediately after roll call had been dismissed, Klink returned to his office and went straight to his full body mirror hanging on the wall. He scanned for any wrinkles in his uniform, a spot on his face he may have forgotten to shave, if his monocle was not on straight, even checking to make sure that a single strand of his graying black hair was not out of place. He soon made his eyes to his figure and began to worry he was putting on extra weight. Klink patted his belly, the top of his hips, then turned sideways and rubbed his middle as if it would erase the few extra pounds he was now hallucinating. He was on the verge of having a panic attack, when the door to his office opened, and Kalina stepped inside. She frowned and instantly took great concern to her father's anxiety.
"Papa," she finally said, bringing his attention to her. "Are you feeling alright? You're as pale as a ghost."
"Kalina...Baby, you're always honest with me, right?" Klink asked her, wringing his hands subconsciously to try and calm his raging nerves.
"Of course, Papa. I tell you everything. No secrets between us; we promised each other that." Kalina felt a small sense of guilt consume her after saying that, remembering the one thing that she kept hidden in the darkness. The only exception to that promise. It killed her inside to lie to her best friend about her true loyalties in the war and her involvement with Hogan's operation, but it was the only way she could keep her beloved papa and friends safe from the Nazis. At least until the end of World War II.
"Even if you think it would hurt my feelings, you would still tell me the truth, right?" Klink continued.
"Jawohl, Papa. Whatever you want to know, I'll tell you to the best of my ability," Kalina answered sincerely.
The kommandant momentarily fell silent, swallowed a growing lump in his throat, then placed his hand back on his belly. "Do you think I've gained a lot of weight?" He quivered.
Kalina pursed her lips as she observed her father with a keen eye. He certainly was not still the skin and bone freestyle swimmer he had been in gymnasium, but Klinks had a ridiculously high metabolism in their youth. But her papa was not an athletic 16-year-old boy anymore. He was a grown man. One that had lived through one world war, two dramatic reformations of the German government, and the Great Depression. He was almost 50 now, which meant his body was beginning to slow down and tire out easily. Klink was a little fluffy in the middle, but he was by no means fat or overweight. Just average. A word the colonel despised deeply.
After about thirty seconds of taking in Klink's current physical description, Kalina tilted her head from one side to the other and gave a soft 'mmmmmm'. "Maybe just a little bit," she said, holding her thumb and pointer finger just millimeters from each other.
Klink let out a helpless moan, then lay his arm on the side of a filing cabinet and placed his forehead on top of it, shaking his head in misery. "Terrific," he grumbled. "General von Aschenbrener is going to be here with General Burkhalter in ten minutes, and I'm going to be sent to Russia for looking like a hippopotamus."
"Aw Papa," Kalina said sympathetically. She hurried to her father's side and hugged him tight. She lifted her gaze up to his gentle blue eyes. "You're not a hippopotamus; it's completely normal for a man of your age to gain a few extra pounds. Besides; even if you did look like one, I wouldn't love you any less than I do now. I love you just the way you are, Papa."
Klink's eyes flooded with unshed tears as he looked down at the little angel he had been blessed to love. He had no idea how he had been lucky enough to get such a loving and brilliant daughter like his Kalina, but he thanked God every day for it. He rubbed the back of Kalina's head and took her in his arms. "Oh Süße," he said tenderly. He kissed the top of her head and held her close to him. "I love you, my sweet girl." He gave her one more kiss and enjoyed their embrace, when the door again opened, and Burkhalter stepped inside the office.
"General Burkhalter, good morning, Sir," Klink greeted, with a firm salute.
"Morning, yes. Good, no." Burkhalter replied, his expression grim and unamused. "Are you ready for the inspection, Klink?"
"Oh yes Sir, Herr General. Whenever General von Aschenbrener gets here, he may start at any time he desires."
"He is here," Burkhalter said, then stepped off to the right to let the new Inspector General emerge into sight. A 6'0" tall man stood in the doorway dressed in a highly decorated SS general's uniform. He had slicked back black hair that was beginning to recede from the front of his head and wore tinted square-framed glasses over his dark dead eyes. Not a single ounce of emotion that sparkled within those eyes. Like someone had sucked his soul right out of his body and left nothing more than a walking zombie behind.
Kalina's eyes widened, her jaw hung from its hinges due to the crippling fear overtaking her body. On impulse, she dashed behind her father like he was a living shield of armor, then just barely peeked her head around Klink's left side to watch everything unfold.
"Colonel Klink?" von Aschenbrener prodded, in a monotone like voice.
"That depends," Klink answered, his body trembling under the general's icy stare. "How do I look?"
"Your uniform, not a flaw in sight...As for your face, I can't speak for you."
Klink buried his head into his neck as he resumed wringing his hands and looked away from von Aschenbrener, grimacing at the humiliation he was already facing, and the general had not even been there for five minutes yet.
General von Aschenbrener stared down the Luftwaffe colonel for several more moments, then took notice of the little girl standing behind him. Von Aschenbrener lifelessly lifted his pointer finger and directed it at Kalina. "The little one," von Aschenbrener stated. "Who is she?"
"This is my daughter, Kalina," Klink said, gently petting Kalina's head. "I assure you, Herr General, she means no harm whatsoever."
Von Aschenbrener gawked at the little teenager for what felt like eternity to Kalina before saying, "We shall see about that." He looked around the room briefly, then turned his attention to both Klink and Burkhalter. "I've seen enough in here for now. Let us carry on with the inspection of the prisoners outside...If there are any left in this camp, that is." The last part he directed towards Burkhalter before striding out of the kommandant's office.
With a weary expression plastered to his face, Klink made his gaze to his commanding officer, his blue eyes silently begging for mercy. "Should I take this as a sign to start looking into snow shoes, Herr General?"
Burkhalter made no response other than an unamused stare, then exited the office himself, leaving the two Klinks to themselves for a moment.
Kalina, who was squeezing her father's hand for comfort, looked up at Klink with anxiety ridden eyes. She gulped. "Is it...Is it too late to desert and make a run for Switzerland?"
Klink let out a whimper, then wrapped his arm around Kalina, and the duo made their way outside into the compound.
"Roll call! Everybody outside for roll call!" Schultz bellowed, the door of barracks two opening behind him. "Schnell, schnell schnell schnell schnell, schnell!"
"Blimey, Schultz," Newkirk groaned. "Yell a little louder, will yah? I don't think they've heard yah in Beijing yet."
"Jolly joker." The fluffy sergeant grumbled, then walked off to begin his count as Hogan exited the barracks and closed the door behind him before heading for his spot in line-up. The colonel looked over his shoulder at his second in command.
"You see the new Inspector General yet, Kinch?" Hogan asked softly.
"No, but he came in an SS staff car. This guy is gonna be all business and no play," Kinch answered, his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets.
"You think Klink can convince the filthy bosche he's a tough commandant?" LeBeau asked.
"He's gotta. Otherwise we're out of business and have a one-way ticket to Gestapo Headquarters," Hogan said.
"You better start praying then, Colonel; looks like we got trouble coming." Kinch replied. He, Hogan, and LeBeau all made their eyes to the kommandantur and watched as Klink, Burkhalter, and von Aschenbrener strode across the compound, Kalina standing right next to her father's side with a worried expression on her face.
"Sergeant!" Klink bellowed. "Reeepoooooort!" He received a sharp salute from Schultz and returned the same gesture.
"Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for," Schultz said confidently.
"Danke, Sergeant," Klink answered, his hardened gaze never leaving sight of the men of barracks two.
There was a brief moment of silence where Kalina looked up at Hogan, the colonel giving her a quick glance in response, then he looked back up at Klink. And like the flick of a light switch, the bumbling and soft Colonel Klink everyone knew drained away and was replaced with someone no one had ever met before. His gentle blue eyes became dark, his stance straight and authoritative. He let a snarl come to his lips, and a low growl emerged from his throat.
"Attention!" He finally barked.
None of the men from barracks two knew how to respond. Nothing but confused expressions were exchanged among the prisoners, while Hogan stood silently, carefully observing Klink's acting and the response coming from Burkhalter and von Aschenbrener.
"Perhaps you swine didn't hear me; ATTENTION! SCHNELL!" Klink hollered.
Without a single complaint, the fifteen prisoners snapped to attention and did all they could to fight back from shivering with fear. Hogan's men knew what was going on, of course, but the rest of the prisoners were downright lost. Some even scratched their heads as if it would give them an answer to their burning question: What was the matter with Klink? He had been perfectly fine this morning at the earlier roll call, now he resembled a rabid dog ready to attack. Was he sick, or did someone slip him a few crazy pills?
Klink clasped his arms behind his back and began pacing up and down the front line, gawking at every single prisoner as if they were a bunch of Colonel Koch doppelgangers. "You Allied swine think you're so clever. Heroic. Brave. Examples for the rest of the world. Well, I'm going to break you of those thoughts. You're weak. Stupid. Murderers. Not a single one of you has a prayer of becoming a true soldier! I thought rats were filthy mongrels, but you men just made first place on that list."
As Klink continued to berate the prisoners, Burkhalter's eyes widened to the point they were close to falling out of his head. This was not the Colonel Klink he had come to know over the last few decades. The Klink he knew was soft, cowardly, passive, and a simpleton. This man had a backbone, venom in his voice, a fire in his eyes that the general had not seen in someone since World War I. Someone he was used to seeing in the Gestapo or SS. Had Klink had a dramatic personality change overnight, or had the colonel finally lost his mind?
While Burkhalter tried to make sense of everything, von Aschenbrener nodded with approval and made several marks and notes on the clipboard he carried with him. He lifted his gaze every so often, pleased that he was finally having a change in scenery. A kommandant with skin as hard as metal. Prisoners that quivered under his cold stare. A perfect no escape record that was a model for other Luft Stalags in Germany. Especially for the kommandants that were now walking in snow and ice somewhere on the Russian Front. He continued to watch in silence, becoming more impressed with Klink's command by the minute.
"All you swine do is moan and whine and complain and sleep like lazy sacks of hay!" The kommandant continued. "You know where whiners belong? In Gestapo Headquarters locked up in an isolation cell. Somewhere you will end up if I hear one more complaint come out of your filthy mouths."
"Kommandant, I…" Hogan never got a chance to finish, when Klink stormed up to face him eye-to-eye.
"Especially out of your mouth, Hogan. You think you Americans are so smart and know everything. You know things as much as a hammer does. One more protest out of you, and I'll make certain that nothing ever comes out of your mouth again. You overweight, volatile, psychopathic lunatic!"
Hogan's jaw dropped to its hinges, his chocolate brown eyes shining with deep hurt. Klink may have been putting on an act, but his words stung him worse than a wasp. Overweight? He was not overweight...was he?
Newkirk and LeBeau, who were both just as stunned as their commanding officer, turned to face each other, Newkirk mouthing 'Damn' as he raised his fist to his lips.
"Any questions?" Klink asked.
Carter looked to his left and right for a moment before raising his shaking hand in the air. He froze in place when the kommandant snapped his icy gaze at him.
"Put your hand down," he said.
"But, but, but Kommandant, you…"
Klink snapped a pistol up from his side and pointed it directly at Carter. "Put your hand down, or I'll shoot it down!" He barked.
Carter dropped his arm automatically and returned to standing straight at attention, not daring to push the kommandant any further.
Klink glared at the fifteen men for a minute longer, then turned his attention to Schultz. "Dismiss the prisoners," he said, monotone.
Schultz raised his shaky hand to his head for a salute, his dry throat struggling to get verbal words out.
Klink turned on his boot and made his way back to Burkhalter and von Aschenbrener, Kalina quietly following from behind.
"Colonel Klink," von Aschenbrener said. "I am mighty impressed with what I have seen so far."
"So am I." Burkhalter added, his brain still trying to process what the hell had just happened.
"Danke, Herr General," Klink said, clicking his heels together and smiling confidently.
"From what I saw in your office earlier and the way you interact with your daughter, I did not know if you had the thick skin it takes to run a POW camp." von Aschenbrener continued.
Kalina, who now stood in front of her father, smiled with pride. "Papa's the toughest camp kommandant in all of Germany, Herr General." Her grin grew in size when she felt Klink place his hands on her shoulders, then gently pet the top of her head.
"Don't you start," Burkhalter ordered the girl.
"Well," von Aschenbrener said. "Shall we continue on with the inspection, gentlemen?"
"Jawohl, Herr General. Whenever you're ready, I am." Klink replied.
The SS general gave Klink a short nod, then started to make his way to the dog kennel with Burkhalter by his side. Kalina soon followed, and Klink took up the rear. He paused in his step and gave one last look at Hogan, who was still standing in his spot trying to come out of shock. Klink grinned and gave him a thumbs up, Hogan subconsciously raising his thumb as he watched the kommandant walk off to join the others.
Schultz, who was just as baffled as Hogan, walked up to the American and stared at him puzzled. "Colonel Hogan," he said. "What just happened?"
"Schultz," Hogan began, staring in the direction Klink had gone in. "I think I just created a monster."