"Tell me what's going on."
" Nothing's going on!"
"Then why have you been acting so weird?"
"I haven't!"
Heather crossed her arms, giving her friend a stern look. Astrid sat on the side of her bed, axe in her hands. Heather had come back to the Edge to retrieve the last of her items, making the final move to Berserker Island, when she'd gotten word from the other riders about her friend's strange behavior. Astrid had been happy to see her when the girl came to her hut, but was taken aback when their friendly chat turned into an interrogation.
"Fishlegs said you haven't gone to dinner all week," Heather continued. "Hell, they're saying you haven't left your hut for three days now!"
"I'm fine, alright!" Astrid continued, keeping her eyes on her weapon, hands tightening around the wooden handle. "I just… haven't been feeling very well, that's all."
Heather's expression turned to one of sympathy, the girl walked forward a few steps, until she was standing beside the bed. She sat down next to her friend, who continued staring at the axe she held so tightly.
"Astrid, you know you can tell me anything, I'm your best friend, I can tell when something's wrong." Her voice was soft, understanding. She placed a gentle hand on Astrid's shoulder, making the blonde flinch at the sudden touch. "Did something happen during the fight on Viggo's ship?"
Astrid screwed her eyes shut.
It had been three days since the incident. Heather and the other riders had been horrified at the girl's state when they were found. But Hiccup and her had managed to convince them that they'd simply got in a fight with the armed guards. It had worked, at least for the time being.
They escaped the island, even finding the remains of Berk's gold in the process. It should've been a successful mission, a time to celebrate the end of Berk's poverty, and the reconnection between Heather and her brother.
But it wasn't. It couldn't be any further from happy, to the two that experienced what they had.
She hadn't even looked at Hiccup since the moment they left that chamber. Heather had heard it right, she'd hardly left her room since they'd returned to the Edge. Sneaking out of her hut late at night to eat at the clubhouse alone, but even then, she found that she didn't have much of an appetite anyways.
"Nothing happened." She finally replied.
Heather shook her head, "Well, that's convincing." She remarked sarcastically. "You don't lose fights, Astrid. And even if you did, something else happened to you, I know it did. You looked like you'd just seen a ghost when I found you guys!"
Astrid sighed, relaxing slightly and loosening her grip on the wooden handle. "Alright… maybe I wasn't being a hundred percent truthful…"
"Okay, go on." Heather urged gently.
There was a pause, then Astrid began. "So, we did fight, but there was a little more to it than just that…" Her eyes drifted up and down her weapon, choosing her words carefully. "Viggo had taken Hiccup and I below deck where you found us, we'd both gotten the upper hand for a moment, almost disarming the guards, but then… Viggo took control."
She paused again, Heather looked on intently as the girl continued.
"He… He made his guards pull my leggings down. And, forced Hiccup to watch as they flogged me…"
Before Heather could respond, Astrid set her ax to the side, standing abruptly and pulling her skirt upwards. She then grabbed at the fabric of her leggings, pulling them downward a few inches to expose a small portion of the bruised flesh of her bottom.
She heard Heather gasp behind her, "Oh Gods, Astrid! "
The blonde quickly pulled her leggings back up, adjusting her clothing and slowly taking her seat on the wooden bed, wincing as she did so. She finally looked at Heather, who had a sorrowful look on her face.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Her friend pressed, placing a hand on Astrid's knee.
Astrid looked down at her lap, staring at her now empty hands. "It was just… too much to try to process at once, I guess. Being exposed like that…"
"Is that truthfully… all they did to you?"
The girl hesitated, but ultimately nodded.
"Oh Astrid… I wish you would've told me sooner. Have you and Hiccup talked about it yet?"
"No." She replied. "To be honest, I've been avoiding him ever since."
Heather looked at her friend in confusion. "Astrid, you shouldn't run from your problems. Avoiding him will only prolong things. I can go get him right now, and you guys can work this out!"
Heather spoke with enthusiasm, then quickly got to her feet and took a step towards the stairs. Astrid swiftly grabbed her wrist, halting the girl in her tracks. The blonde stood from where she sat, looking at Heather with desperate eyes.
"No…" Astrid pleaded, taking a shaky breath. "Let me talk to him when I'm ready, please Heather."
Heather gave her a disappointed look, but didn't move any further towards the door. Astrid released her grip.
The brunette sighed, looking desperately at her friend.
"Fine, but you have to promise me you'll sort this out. Promise me you'll speak to him."
Astrid studied the floor, taking another deep breath as she worked up the courage to look her pleading friend in the eye.
"I promise."
She lied.
"Oh Hiccup..."
She moaned breathily into his ear.
He was on top of her, trying desperately to keep his breath while he thrusted. But great Thor, she felt amazing around his cock.
"Astrid…" He moaned back at her, between his grunts and heavy panting.
He was moving slowly, but deeply. Filling every inch of her forbidden tunnel with the most sensitive part of his body. Soaking wet walls squeezing him in the absolute best way possible.
What aroused him most, however, was the look on her face.
Pure bliss. Her brows were furrowed in pleasure, a wide smile that would occasionally part to release another heavenly moan. He could feel her fingers digging into his back, something that would have likely drawn pain if they weren't so engaged in one another. But he was completely enveloped. As was she.
Their naked bodies moved in unison, and every now and then he'd glance down between them. Treating himself to the view of his length moving in and out of her, and watching intently as her breasts moved with his thrusts.
But his eyes would always go back to her beautiful face. Icy blue, half-lidded eyes staring up at him in pleasure, her golden hair like a halo around her head.
She was impossibly perfect.
He watched her face twist in pleasure as he suddenly adjusted his angle to hit the upper-portion of her tight tunnel.
"Oh fuck!" She exclaimed, digging her fingers further into his flesh. "Right there!"
Who was he to deny a lady?
He thrusted faster as her moans got louder and louder, completely relishing in the warm tingles that pulsated their way through his lower abdomen, threatening to grow more intense as he drew close to his end.
He hit her with an especially deep thrust, causing her head to fall back as she let out a raptourous moan. Hiccup took the opportunity to kiss her exposed neck, sucking gently on the flesh, adding to the overwhelming sensations she was surely feeling.
Pulling his head back, she returned her eyes to his face, looking up at him with nothing but pure love. Not able to help himself, he went back down to steal a kiss from her pink lips. Pulling her close as he thrusted, the warm balloon he was so familiar with growing larger and larger in his chest.
This was perfect. Her body welcomed him as he made love to her, her wetness coating his shaft more and more each second was enough to tell him that. He would cum in her, make her body sing in pleasure as he'd bring her to her end as well. Then they would lay there, holding each other close as the afterglow of their actions would continue for the rest of all eternity. He would tell her how much he loved her, and she would do the same.
But that's not what happened.
She suddenly gasped, eyes opening wide as her body stiffened. Her face no longer held the expression of ecstasy, but instead bared one of utter pain and shock. It frightened him to no end.
She looked up at him desperately, "Stop."
He wanted to immediately pull himself out of her. Step away and ask if she was alright. Comfort her and make sure she wasn't in any pain. But… he did none of those things.
He just kept thrusting.
Her gasps grew sharper, her hands suddenly went from his back to his chest, pushing upward to get him away from her.
"Stop! I don't want it anymore!" She pleaded loudly as she tried to escape his grasp.
He moved one of his hands from the floor where he supported himself, swiftly grabbing at her wrists to hold them tightly above her head. She strained hard against his grip, but he wouldn't let her move.
It just felt too good.
He couldn't possibly stop.
If anything he thrusted harder.
"Hiccup please! You're hurting me!"
Hurting you? Then why are you so wet?
Why does it even matter if I'm hurting you?! You're mine to use!
He moaned even louder as he felt himself sink deeper, her wetness suddenly turning thick and sticky around his stiff cock. But hey, it was still wet nonetheless, right? Taking the opportunity, he used his free hand to grope at one of her bouncing breasts. Squeezing it hard and drawing more gasps of pain from Astrid.
He thrusted deeper, feeling her walls tighten around his hard length. As if she were trying to push him out of her. She started to cry beneath him. He looked down between them again, desperate to see what he was doing to her. As his cock moved in and out, he could see nothing but blood from her ravished hole coating his flesh.
He almost came at the sight alone.
"Hiccup! I'M BEGGING YOU!"
He held her wrists tighter above her head, squeezing so hard he could've broken the bones if he really wanted. He grunted louder and louder as he felt his orgasm suddenly wash over him in one giant wave of ecstasy. He felt his seed begin to pump into her, and he buried himself as deep in her tunnel as he could possibly go
With one final moan, he spurted his last rope of cum into her womb. Panting heavily as he came down from his heights. Through foggy eyes, he looked down at the girl beneath him.
She was staring up at him, a heartbroken expression on her face. Tears streamed from the corners of her eyes, but she didn't sob, she didn't cry out. She only stared sullenly at the monster she believed to be her best friend.
"I trusted you…"
Hiccup shook awake, jolting upright in his wooden bed. His breathing was heavy, and he could feel the sweat glistening over his skin in the dark, cool air of his hut.
What was most prevalent, however, was the sensation he felt below his waist. Pleasure pinged through his lower abdomen, and he let out an involuntary moan, curling his fingers as a final gush of semen spurted from his length into his pants.
After coming down from his heights and catching his breath, Hiccup looked around the dark room, trying to gage his situation. It was still pitch black outside, and Toothless snored lazily on his rock, completely unaware of his rider's predicament. Perhaps that was for the better.
Hiccup shifted his lower body, wincing as he felt the sticky liquid start to turn cold against his upper-thigh. He let his head fall back, letting out an annoyed sigh.
"Really? Again? "
He rubbed the haze from his eyes, knowing he'd endured all the sleep he was going to get that night. He carefully pulled back the covers and stood from his bed, trying hard to ignore the uncomfortable sensation of the mess he'd made. He made his way to the bin of dirty clothes in the corner of his room, then clumsily removed his soiled pants, struggling to remove his leg in the dark.
The commotion stirred awake the sleeping dragon, and he heard Toothless give a confused coo from across the room.
"I-I'm okay, Bud. Just… had another accident…"
He finally succeeded in replacing his pants with some fresh ones, and after replacing his leg, he threw the dirty clothing into the bin with the other soiled pants from the past few nights. He took a deep breath, shaking his head at himself.
Every night since Viggo's ship, he'd had the same dream. It always started off rather lovely, but would escalate into something dark and sinister. Something he was beyond ashamed to draw pleasure from, but even his unconscious body gave into the throes of it.
He knew the cause of it as well. It was whatever Viggo had drugged him with, the aphrodisiac was still in his system. Much less effective than it had originally been, of course, but the nightly wet dreams and random erections he'd get throughout the day was enough to confirm his suspicions. He'd tried taking care of it, shameful as it was. Going as far as to touch himself before going to sleep the night before, hoping it would bring some level of satisfaction to his tampered brain. But apparently it had been no use.
He prayed it would be out of his system soon enough, he didn't think he could come up with any more excuses to leave the riders in the middle of training, or even their group meals.
All of which Astrid had refrained from attending since that fateful day.
Hiccup marveled, realizing that it had only been three days since their capture. It felt like an eternity since he had seen her smiling face. Since he'd seen her enter the arena and take charge of their daily training. Hear her sweet voice and watch her hair blow in the salty wind as they flew aside one another.
Yeah, as if he even deserved to look at her ever again.
Thinking about what happened was quickly becoming too much for him. He looked back at his bed, mindlessly debating whether or not to just lay there until dawn. But he knew he shouldn't, his thoughts would only continue to drown him unless he distracted himself.
Walking past Toothless, who eyed his rider curiously, he placed a gentle hand on the dragon's snout.
"Stay here, Bud. I'm just gonna get some fresh air."
The dragon groaned in protective annoyance, it was easy to understand he didn't want his rider going anywhere alone. He'd been like that since the events on Viggo's ship, hardly letting Hiccup out of his sight. But thankfully, the dragon simply watched from his rock as the boy walked carefully down the stairs of his hut.
Guided by nothing but memory and minimal moonlight, Hiccup sauntered to the entrance of his home. Relishing the feeling of cool air on his skin as he opened the sliding door. Stepping outside into the night, he was finally able to tell how long until the morning would be upon them.
He guessed there was still another hour or so of darkness, and was surprised at the amount of sleep he'd actually managed to get that night. The past couple of nights left him tossing and turning for hours until day broke.
Walking to the edge of the wooden platform, he continued looking up at the sky. Studying every star intently, unconsciously loving the fact that it was so clear outside. He started counting the constellations, the ones whose names he'd remembered from the numerous books he'd read on the subject, and trying hard to remember the names he'd forgotten. They were all so long and complicated, who could possibly remember them all anyways?
Suddenly, something from the ground level caught his eye. A little disappointed he'd been taken out of his luxurious trance, his focus went to the cause of the disruption.
It was coming from the stables. The dim light of a lantern moved slowly across the side of the vast building, rounding the corner and disappearing from the boy's sight completely.
Hiccup blinked, wondering for a moment if it hadn't just been his imagination. It was impossible to see who could have been wielding the light from so far away, and none of the other riders could possibly be up at this hour, right?
His mind then went to the thought of an attack, was some hunter sent by Viggo scouting their island? Were they trying to gas the dragons in their stables, so the rest of them would be defenseless?!
Thoughts raced through his head, but he stood there for what felt like an eternity. Looking back to his hut, he debated whether or not to get Toothless. But something inside him was pulling at his brain, a little voice. Not like the dastardly one he'd heard in the back of his head since Viggo's ship, this one was different. He looked back to the stables.
Just go there, now…
When he'd reached the entrance of the stables, he was surprised to find them partially open. If it had been someone sneaking onto their island, they certainly hadn't done a good job being stealthy.
He entered the building and was greeted with the sound of sleeping dragons, whoever entered hadn't stirred them, which was a promising sign. Through the darkness of the vast room, he noticed light illuminating from one of the rooms at the back of the building. It was just barely peeking through the crack of a door, but it was vibrant compared to the inky darkness of the rest of the building.
He stealthily walked past the pens, careful not to startle the sleeping dragons, or alert whoever was in the back room. When he made it to the door, another sound filled his ears. Faint, but emanating from the illuminated room.
It was a repetitious brushing noise.
His curiosity had the better of him at this point, with a sweaty palm, he slowly pushed open the heavy wooden door. Exposing a dimly lit room only illuminated by a single lantern and a few torches lined on the walls. A wave of nervousness rushed through his body at the sight of who stood before him.
"...Astrid?"
She was standing with her back to him, in front of her, Stormfly's saddle mounted on a heavy wooden sawhorse. In her hand, a large cleaning brush she was using to scrub at the leather. Beside her, a bucket filled with soapy water. She seemed intently focused on her task until she heard his voice.
To which she nearly jumped out of her skin.
She dropped the wood brush with a sharp gasp, jerking around to look at him. Placing her hand over her heart with fear, eyes going wide as she looked him up and down. Within a few moments, Hiccup was able to get a good look at her for the first time in days.
And she looked like hell.
The underside of her abnormally weary eyes was pale purple, no doubt from lack of sleep. She was wearing her regular clothing and armor, though they looked disheveled, like she'd been in the same outfit for days. Her blonde hair was absent of its usual style, but it weaved into a messy braid over her left shoulder, much like Heather's.
What hurt most was the look of fear in her eyes, like she'd been intruded upon by someone she despised. He kept his focus on her, but tried looking anywhere but her face.
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you, but…" He trailed off nervously. "What are you doing here so early?"
Her look of shock and terror went to a more mundane one. She took a final deep breath, then reached down to retrieve her fallen brush, dunking it in the soapy water like she couldn't be bothered.
"Nothing Hiccup, I just couldn't sleep." She said, trying hard to focus on her task and not the boy in the doorway. She went back to scrubbing at the center of her saddle, putting more force into it than before. "What are you doing here?"
"I… couldn't sleep either," He said, rubbing the back of his head. Suppressing the disturbing memory of exactly what had woken him. "I went outside for some air and saw your lantern."
She didn't reply. She didn't even turn to look at him. She just kept scrubbing.
He looked on in intrigue, "What are you doing?"
It seemed foolish that she'd come all the way out here just to tidy up Stormfly's riding equipment, Hiccup reluctantly took a few steps towards her. She brushed the leather so hard he could see the muscles straining in her upper arm.
"A-Astrid?" He pressed on, almost getting close enough to see over her shoulder…
Then she yelled.
Well, it was more of a growl. It was out of pure frustration, that much was clear. She gripped the brush so tight her knuckles turned white, then threw the object violently across the room. A loud clunk rang through the chamber as it smashed into the wooden wall, falling haphazardly to the ground.
Hiccup had stopped dead in his tracks, not wanting to provoke the girl more than she already was. After a few heavy breaths, she let her head fall forward slightly, resting a gentle hand on the saddle.
Building up his courage once again, Hiccup took the final step forward, standing to the right of her. Looking down on the portion of her saddle she'd seemed so obsessed with cleaning.
In the center, right about where she'd be seated, there was a deep red stain.
He didn't say anything, but suddenly understood why she'd been so frustrated. Ten seconds ago he thought he'd been as consumed by guilt as he could possibly be, but of course, he was proven wrong.
"It hurt on the fly home," She spoke quietly, almost indifferently, finally breaking the deafening silence. "But I didn't realize it had gone through..." She let her hand fall from the saddle, looking down at it with weary eyes.
Hiccup stared at the object as well, fear lining his features as he knew what had to be done.
"Astrid-"
"Don't."
He closed his eyes, cowering like a scared puppy at her response.
She sighed, then abruptly sat down on the wooden floor. Leaning her back against one of the sawhorse legs and bringing her knees to her chest. "I know exactly what you're going to say, Hiccup. You're going to blame yourself for what happened. Say that it was your fault we were on his ship. That it was you who brought us to the island, and you who lost Berk's gold in the first place."
Hiccup kept his head low, listening intently as she went on, "True or not, it doesn't change what happened to us..." She paused, taking a deep breath. "It won't make anything better… It happened, we just have to deal with it."
Eyes still fixed on the blood-stained saddle, his voice was barely a whisper. "...How?"
There was a heavy pause.
"Well… you could start by actually looking at me."
He fixed his eyes shut a little tighter than before, rubbing his sweaty fingers against the palms of his hands. Taking a shaky breath, he looked down at the girl seated beside him. She was staring up at him with large, indifferent eyes. Gesturing slightly at his feet, she motioned for him to sit as well. He obliged, steadying himself on the floor and resting against the other wooden leg of the sawhorse. He brought one knee to his chest, leaving his prosthetic leg stretched out.
He glanced at her momentarily as he settled, eyes ghosting over her features. "You're wearing your hair differently." He said, trying to break the tension.
She gave an airy chuckle, "Yeah, well, can't risk anyone seeing."
She then grabbed at the braid, pulling it back to reveal a fading, but noticeable trail of hickeys down the left side of her neck. Disappearing below the neckline of her shirt.
So much for breaking the tension.
"Oh… right." He replied awkwardly, looking back at the floor.
"Heather came to see me last night, the other riders told her I'd been acting weird. She wasn't buying the whole 'fighting' story anymore." She spoke morosely, staring at the floor in front of them.
A wave of fear hit Hiccup, his head shot rightwards to look at her. "You didn't tell her, did-"
"Of course not." She cut him off, sounding somewhat irritated. "But she's not stupid either, I ended up telling her that Viggo's men tortured me while he made you watch. Even showed her the bruises to prove it."
Hiccup was relieved, but slightly empathetic to the idea that she was forced to lie to her best friend.
The girl continued, "I swore to her I'd talk to you about what happened, but… I don't think there's much to say."
Hiccup looked forwards again, shaking his head. "I think… I think there's a million things to say, we just… don't know where to start."
"Okay, assuming you're right. How should we do this?"
He paused, deep in thought. Deciding there was no real way to go into this slowly, he went with his gut instinct.
"Well, how about we take turns telling the other exactly what we're thinking?"
She hesitated, but nodded. "I think I can handle that… But you first."
It pained him, but he complied. Taking another deep breath, he thought hard about where to begin.
"Alright… Well, first off, what you said is true." He let his head fall a little lower. "I don't think everything that happened was my fault, I know everything was my fault. But it goes so far beyond that. I don't care about what happened to me, it was the fact that you were forced into all of it. Gods Astrid… I'm the leader! My one job is to make sure my team is safe. Thor, it keeps me up at night thinking about something bad happening to you guys, especially you- "
His voice suddenly broke, he fixed his eyes shut, trying to keep his emotion at bay. Astrid's indifferent expression turned to one of sadness listening to him like this.
He went on, "Even taking away all that… I was responsible for more than just getting us in the situation. I… I did all those things to you... Viggo hardly touched you, I'm responsible for all your pain! It was me who forced you!" He dug the heel of his palms into his eyes. "It was me who enjoyed it! It was me who beat you. I stole your virginity! Fuck Astrid, I raped you!"
"STOP IT!"
Her hand roughly gripping his wrist tore him from his emotional trance, he stared at her with teary eyes. She now held a firm expression, looking intimidating as hell, even in her distraught state.
"Alright. My turn." She said shortly, not releasing her tight grip on his wrist, holding his attention.
She started, "Hiccup, if I had my pick of anyone on this Earth… From the highest king of the biggest country, to the poorest peasant. From the bravest warrior who ever lived, to the kindest merchant… If I could choose any man in the world to take my virginity, I would choose you a million times over."
She finally released his wrist, leaving him to marvel at her words. She continued before he could speak, "And don't ever act like I was the only one forced into something I didn't want. Your virginity was stolen too! Viggo drugged you for Thor's sake!" She took a deep breath to calm herself, leaning her head back against the wooden leg. "We were both violated, Hiccup. Not in different ways, in the exact same way. Stop blaming yourself…"
They sat there for a short while, just taking in the sudden silence. Gathering their thoughts simultaneously. Astrid eventually spoke again.
"Okay… So that's out of the way, what's next?"
Hiccup thought for a moment. "Um, well… I guess it would be good to ask each other questions. Anything we may be thinking about…"
" ...Anything? "
He nodded, "Anything. And we have to be a hundred percent truthful, I think we owe each other at least that."
She hesitated, "Alright, I guess I should go first this time."
"By all means."
There was something she really wanted to know. If she'd been in a better state of mind, she'd probably avoid mentioning it all together, but her morbid desire to know got the better of her.
"Okay, so… after Viggo drugged you, the first part at least, how much of it do you remember?"
He tensed at the question, but answered honestly. "Uh… just little pieces I guess. Not much."
"Well, I know it was making you say some pretty… crazy things. But, you said something in particular, and it didn't really sound like you were making it up."
Hiccup suddenly felt like he was staring into the jaws of a whispering death.
"Viggo asked you if you had ever… touched yourself, while thinking of me."
Hiccup sat deathly still, "And… what did I say?"
As if he wanted to know the answer.
"Y-You said, you thought about me every time."
Of course he'd said that. Why wouldn't he have said that?
Thor, if you could strike me dead with a bolt of lightning right now, that'd be great.
Thoughts raced through his mind, and he could feel his cheeks turn crimson with embarrassment. Astrid went on.
"Is… is that true?" She asked, looking at him with impossibly innocent eyes.
Hiccup sighed in defeat, letting his head fall back against the wood, eyes closing softly. A hundred percent honest.
He gave a little nod, speaking far too nonchalantly. Why not at this point?
"Yes."
She slowly turned away from him, looking as though she'd just had an epiphany. She blinked, taking a pause before responding with just one word:
"Okay."
Okay? That's all she has to say?!
Not, 'So our entire friendship has been a trick?'
Or, 'I've never been more disgusted in my life!'
Hiccup guessed he should just drop it. But through his embarrassment, he realized there was something he wanted to ask as well… And it was of similar value.
"So, I guess it's my turn." He started, after a long pause. "When we were, you know… doing it… I-I know it was painful for you, but was there a certain point where you were… enjoying it?"
He saw from the corner of his eye her hands ball into tight fists. But it wasn't from anger or hostility, it was from the sudden realization she herself had just made. Even though he had expected it, her answer still came as a surprise to him.
"Yes, there was." She spoke softly. "It hurt, Thor it hurt. But, when you started saying those things to me… I don't know. It was like a switch was flipped, and suddenly it was like… like I always imagined it would be."
Hiccup thought for a moment, "You mean… in general?"
She gave an annoyed chuckle, "No Hiccup, not in general… With you. "
He was stunned, "R-Really? I mean… I guess I never imagined that you'd-"
"You're not the only one who's thought about it, okay?!" She said shortly. "Gods, I've thought about it for years. "
Hiccup blinked, unable to fathom that the girl of his dreams had been fantasizing about him sexually for so long. His best friend, at that.
"So, here's one I know we're both thinking…" She continued, ignoring his shocked state. "Are we going to tell anyone what happened?"
Hiccup exhaled fully, "I don't know… do you think we should?"
She lowered her head, "I'm not sure. I mean, if we do we'll be dragging everyone into this mess with us. But… if we did, it'd be a lot easier to explain if…" She trailed off, not wanting to finish the statement.
Hiccup looked at her intently, he could see she was visibly shaken at whatever it was she was thinking.
"If…" She continued. "I end up pregnant."
Hiccup's eyes widened, blood running icy in his veins.
He hadn't even thought of that...
Gods how could he be so stupid?!
Here he had been worrying so much about what everyone else thought of them, meanwhile, she was living with the possibility he'd gotten her pregnant through rape?!
He realized then that there was no end to the horrid pit of self-hatred he'd dug himself into.
He had no idea what to say. A million thoughts raced through his head, but none of them seemed okay enough to vocalize. Anything would just make her feel worse.
So, he decided to let her keep talking.
"Is… that your biggest fear?" He asked.
She shook her head, looking emotionless even in the heat of the topic.
"No… My biggest fear is that you'll never look at me the same if I am…"
Okay, that hurt.
"Astrid-" He said firmly, wanting her to know he was serious. " Nothing could ever change the way I look at you, ever. I care about you! And if it turns out that we're… parents… it'll only make me care about you more! "
They sat in silence for a few moments, giving her time to register his words.
"Okay, my turn again." She paused, voice becoming softer. "I told you my biggest fear, what's your biggest fear?"
It was a good enough question, Hiccup thought hard. There had been so much fear these past few days, much of it revolving around their future as friends. Not to mention the realization he'd suddenly had.
"You mean other than this conversation?" He asked, trying halfheartedly to lighten the mood. "Uh… that you'll… never trust me again."
He swallowed back his emotion, continuing. "And it's so horrible to me because… everything about our friendship has been built on trust. Even if you say you forgive me, that you believe it wasn't my fault… Deep down when you look at me, you'll always remember the things I did to you, and it'll be something you can't help but feel."
He closed his eyes, as if the darkness that followed could shield him from the morbid reality they were now living. Astrid's brows furrowed, and she looked at him intently.
Collecting her thoughts, she returned her eyes to the floor. "Maybe you're right…"
It definitely wasn't what he was hoping for, but it was what he expected.
She went on, "Maybe I'll always have some terrible memory of what happened… Maybe some days will be harder than others… But that's the consequence of being a warrior, Hiccup. Bad things happen, I knew that going in… All we can do is be grateful Viggo didn't do anything worse…"
It wasn't exactly the closure they'd wanted, but it was the truth. They've both known for years what their enemies were capable of, even if they'd been through something that they… never expected would happen. It was the price they had to pay.
"I know it's not my turn," She spoke. "But can I ask you one more thing?"
His face finally relaxed, "Of course."
"Well… I mentioned earlier that when we were in the middle of it, and you started saying those things, I started to enjoy it. I just have to know… did you mean what you said?"
This made him finally look at her, she looked around fearfully as she continued, "I-I mean… I understand if you were just saying it to make me feel better, but-"
He grabbed her hand, cutting her off as he held it tightly. She looked fearfully into his emerald eyes, like she was about to receive the worst news of her life.
He brought his other hand to hold onto hers as well, looking at her desperately.
"Astrid, I never said a word I didn't mean. I love you… I've loved you for years. Don't you ever think for a moment I don't, or that what happened changed anything…"
She let her eyes close softly, then nodded. He let his left hand release hers, leaning back against the wood once again, but kept hold of her hand with his right.
"So um…" She spoke softly, sniffling before continuing. "What now?"
Hiccup had nothing else to ask, he thought of another idea.
"Well, to finish, how about we both ask one another for something?"
She nodded again, a silence fell as the two thought.
"Can I go first?" She asked.
"Ask away."
Gently rubbing his hand with her thumb, she looked at him. "Promise me you'll never apologize for what happened? I mean, I know you'll always feel sorry, but I want you to know that I don't blame you, understand?"
He gave her a little smile, "Deal."
She relaxed a little, taking a deep breath. As if she'd finally gotten her point across.
"My turn." Hiccup said, squeezing her hand. "Never think you have to hide your emotions from me, alright? You're a warrior, I get that, but we've been through something awful together, you know you can come to me for anything, right? You have me..."
She nodded again, closing her eyes tightly. When they opened again, he could see they were filled with tears. The enlightenment that followed was nothing short of cathartic, and Hiccup felt as if he'd finally broken past her stone-wall shield.
Moving his hand up her wrist and arm, he pulled her into a tight hug. She let out a series of soft sobs as she tucked her face into his shoulder, and he could feel his tunic start to dampen as the tears rolled down her cheeks. He didn't keep track of how long they sat like this, but if he was being honest, he could've spent his lifetime holding her and have no regrets.
Eventually, still holding her close, he spoke.
"Astrid, can I ask one more thing of you?"
She sniffled, "As long as I get to ask one more of you."
He pulled her away slightly to look into her deep blue eyes, giving her a sad smile.
"Can I kiss you?"
She gave a half-sob half-chuckle, "Only if you say yes to being my boyfriend…"
He then felt a tear fall from his own eye, he pulled her back against him, pressing his lips softly to hers. Tasting her salty tears in the process, he held her impossibly close. Not wanting to be anywhere else on earth than with the incredible girl in his arms.
That morning, they left the stables hand in hand, and stepped out into the soft twilight. As they watched the sun rise over the hills of Dragons Edge, they knew they had shed the skin of their former selves.
Yes, Viggo had got what he wanted. The two of them would never look at each other the same after that fateful day. There would be trauma, sleepless nights, dreams depicting the horrid events that would fail to leave them for years to come. But where the Grimborn had set out to succeed, he had also failed.
Because the events of that day didn't change the way they truly felt about one another, nothing could. No act of evil or immorality could tear them apart.
Two weeks after their profession of love, Astrid would get her moon's blood. And she would rejoice with her love, knowing that the only reminders of their traumatic experience would only remain in their memory.
They decided against telling their friends the truth about Viggo's ship, but only for the time being. Maybe they would discuss it one day, but that day would not come until Viggo was long gone, and they were safe from his monstrous acts. But it was of little importance to them. If anything, they were having more trouble deciding how to tell the other riders they were in a relationship at all!
Through all of it they realized that their trauma had not torn them apart, like the monstrous man intended, it had only brought them closer. Their bond had not been broken, and that was something not even Viggo, the lowest of evil they would ever know, could change.