Finally in Greece again and relishing the familiar landscape, Gabrielle reunited with Argo II, who had remained at a stable near the harbour. Mounting the steed, she set off towards the lands of her Amazon sisters.
As she led her horse on foot through the forest, she was wary that she might not be recognized and viewed as an intruder. But, sure enough, she heard a call of "It's Gabrielle!" as a trio of young Amazons descended from the trees.
"Gabrielle—" One girl blushed and shook her head, "My Queen... your highness… My apologies, it's just—"
"It's okay, Aridike. I'm not your Queen, not anymore. That's... Who is the Queen now?"
"It's, well…" Aridike cleared her throat, "Neomache, would you run ahead and notify the guard? We will escort Queen Gabrielle to the village."
Neomache nodded and took off quickly into the woods.
"We held a trial, of course, because of how she had betrayed us, and you, but Varia... she really has changed. And you saw that, after the battle, didn't you?"
"Yes, Aridike. I am happy to call Varia a friend of mine and a friend of the Amazons. If I did not believe in the ability of people to change, well, that would go against everything I have ever stood for."
"Varia is leading us again," said Aridike, "I have never seen the tribe so prosperous. Well, I'm sure in your day—"
"Every people has its good times and its bad, Aridike. For me it was only two years ago, but truly it was before you were born, another of my own lifetimes that I first came to the Amazons, and then I saw so much life and wealth, but also the brinks of wars."
"Yes, exactly." Aridike nodded, "And I think, considering, Varia is doing great. I had never imagined she could be so thoughtful and strategic, and she cares just as much for our sick and elderly as she does for battle."
Gabrielle's response was a vague grunt of approval. There was a small silence.
"I, um…" the other young Amazon started, "We heard about Xena. We had a funeral here for her, even though she wasn't technically an Amazon. I'm so sorry, you must be crushed."
Gabrielle clenched her fists unconsciously, an unexplainable rage suddenly filling her.
"Gabrielle," Xena cautioned, and she suppressed her emotions.
"But don't worry," added Aridike, "you are free, I'm sure, to stay with the Amazons as long as you need to mourn, and gain your strength. You were, after all, our Queen."
As they approached the city gates, two guards stepped aside with a bow, and Gabrielle was immediately delighted to find that the village seemed to be returning to something resembling its former glory.
She was taken to the Queen's hut, the one, she recalled, that once during her visits belonged to her.
"Gabrielle," Varia greeted as Aridike and the other Amazon left the hut.
"Varia," said Gabrielle, "Hi."
Varia stepped forward, and the two crossed fists in an official gesture, and then, looking into Gabrielle's sad eyes, Varia shifted into a hug.
"I'm sorry about Xena," she said.
"I know. "
Stepping back, Varia studied Gabrielle for a moment. "Gabrielle," she said, "you look terrible."
"Thanks," Gabrielle joked.
"I mean it," said Varia, "You look half-dead. You aren't sleeping much, are you?"
"I'm fine, Varia. You look great. And the village. I'm impressed."
"Thank you. Every woman has worked so hard to bring this place to where it is, I am proud of all of my sisters." She paused, a blissfulness painting her face for a moment, "There is a hut across the village for important guests. Of course, fit for the former Queen. Listen, tomorrow the council and I are having a meeting to discuss some matters involving crops and things, I would be honored to have you there."
Gabrielle nodded absently, "I won't be here long, Varia, no more than a moon. Probably less, just to rest and figure out my next steps."
"You may stay as long as you need, Gabrielle," said Varia. Then she smiled, "But do remember what happened last time if you again find the urge to challenge me with your fists."
Gabrielle smiled lightly at that.
The guest hut was fine, but mostly it was quiet, which she appreciated most of all.
"Gabrielle," someone whispered, lips brushing against her ear.
"Xena," Gabrielle moaned, "Xena, I've missed you so much…"
"I love you, Gabrielle." She let her head fall, leaving a trail of kisses along her blonde companion's neck and not stopping as she approached Gabrielle's breasts. Suddenly, she said, "You are my Queen."
"Mm," Gabrielle replied, "don't stop, Xena. Please, I need you."
"My Queen…"
"Xena,"
"My Queen!" And suddenly, the voice was not Xena's.
Gabrielle awoke with a start, soaked in sweat and feeling feverish, her eyes meeting those of the young Amazon sent to wake her. She suddenly felt self-conscious and embarrassed, knowing from none other than Xena herself that she tended to speak and fidget in her sleep, she vaguely considered that this innocent young girl had been forced into a very awkward situation.
"Why are you just standing there?" Gabrielle spat, in what some might say was an uncharacteristic lack of self-control, "Did you wake me to gawk?" She bit her lip, remorseful about her own rudeness but not strong enough to apologize.
"You have overslept, my Queen," said Aridike, continuing to use her former title, "Queen Varia has asked for you in the meeting chambers."
Gabrielle attended the meeting and was bored beyond words. There were no concerns of any weight brought up and Gabrielle found her mind occupied with thoughts of Xena.
"Gabrielle," Varia said after the gathering, "are you alright? You seemed so absent."
"Fine," said Gabrielle, "I've just got things on my mind. Varia, do you know of anyone well-versed in translation?"
Varia raised an eyebrow, "No. I know of those who can change speech from the language of Chin to Greek, or other tongues, but none who are versed in the art in general. Why?"
"Nothing." Said Gabrielle, "Just curious."
Days passed, and Gabrielle seemed to be growing more irritable and distant. When spoken to directly at council meetings, she would often have to be called upon twice or three times before she responded, or even shaken lightly by the shoulder until she arose from her stupor.
She dreamed often of Xena, some nightmares and some wonderful fantasies which were in some ways worse when she awoke to her own loneliness.
Xena still visited her, and she took care, at first, only to speak with her in secret lest the other Amazons think her mad, but as the days passed and she began to lose control, reality and fantasy became harder to distinguish.
Gabrielle thought she would take a walk in the forest, and felt a comfort as a hand wrapped around hers.
"Xena," said Gabrielle, "Have you ever thought about how old trees are?"
"What do you mean?
"I mean, when we are born the forest is here, and it is still here when we die. And then the same for our children, and for their children. Isn't that crazy?"
"Is this another one of your theories, Gabrielle?" Xena smirked.
"Hear me out, Xena! Trees aren't like us, are they? The older they get, the stronger they become."
"Uh-huh…"
"If something can live so long, then why don't we? I think that nature makes sacrifices. A tree can live forever, but it cannot move. But we can speak and move and love, and that's what we give up."
"Okay, I can get that,"
"So, really, we are meant to die."
"Gabrielle…" Xena cautioned, "Gabrielle, you must go on. For me. Get those thoughts out of your head."
"Xena!" Gabrielle laughed, "Don't be so dramatic. It is just a theory. Besides—"
"Queen Gabrielle?"
Gabrielle jumped, and Xena disappeared from her side. She whipped her head around to see Aridike emerging from the woods.
"My Queen, who were you talking to?"
"Talking?" Gabrielle lied, "It must have been the sounds of the forest, Aridike. I was just taking a walk."
Aridike nodded slowly.
"Come on," said Gabrielle, "It must be time for dinner. Shall we head back to the village?"
The next day, Gabrielle stopped by the shops to haggle, not because she needed trinkets or because she was strapped for cash, but because the act of haggling brought her a joy she so rarely found these days. And the fleeting satisfaction she felt after successfully purchasing a fine cloth for her sais for a mere dinar had just escaped her when Varia approached her in the square.
"Gabrielle," she greeted, "how are you?"
"I'm fine, Varia," said Gabrielle, navigating the small-talk like she was navigating a street in Potidaea, "and you?"
Varia ignored the question, "Listen, Gabrielle, are you okay?"
"Stop asking me that!" Gabrielle growled, "I'm fine."
"Perhaps you should see the healer," said Varia, "You seem so sick. Don't you see how your hands are shaking?"
"No, Varia. I'm fine. Maybe I am coming down with a cold or something. I appreciate the concern. I really do."
"Gabrielle," Varia suddenly became deathly serious, "Aridike told me she saw you in the woods last night, speaking to the trees."
Gabrielle shook her head, "She was just hearing the wind. I was only taking a walk."
"She is certain of what she saw, Gabrielle," Varia answered, "She said she heard you say the name 'Xena'."
Gabrielle felt like she was caught in a crime, but also like she was selfishly holding back a wonderful truth from the world. She flexed her fingers uncomfortably for a moment. "She visits me, sometimes," Gabrielle admitted softly
"Gabrielle," Varia said, caution in her eyes, "You know that Xena is dead."
"Death means nothing for us," said Gabrielle, "She is with me, even in death."
"With what you two have gone through," said Varia, "I might believe that she is truly visiting you somehow, but you are clearly so ill; you have been so indifferent, and I see a pain and terror always in your eyes. I have seen it happen to my sisters who have lost their loves or seen horrors in battle. You aren't in your right mind."
"You don't know anything, Varia."
"Gabrielle, I need you to understand that the Xena you are seeing isn't real. She is in your mind."
"Shut up!" cried Gabrielle, something vile seeming to fill her veins, "I hate you, Varia. You tried to have me killed, why should I trust you? You are worried that I will usurp your power, so you are trying to paint me as insane!"
With that, Gabrielle marched off into the woods.
"Gabrielle," said Xena's calming voice.
"Xena," Gabrielle frantically breathed, "Xena, tell me you are real."
"Gabrielle, I—"
"I'm not crazy, am I? I can't be. I remember, when the furies were inside my head whispering to kill Eve… that wasn't like this. No, that was confusion and insanity. This is all so clear. That was full of evil and hate, but this is wonderful, seeing you."
"I'm here for you, Gabrielle," Xena soothed.
It was exactly what Gabrielle wanted to hear. "I know," she said, glancing up at a tree branch, "I will climb that tree, and I will leap from the branch making no attempt to catch myself. I can feel you, I can touch you. Since you are real, you will catch me."
"Gabrielle—"
Gabrielle shook her head and stopped listening, quickly scaling the tall tree, a skill the Amazons had taught her.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she took a deep breath. It's not that she was suicidal, she thought, not anymore. Leaping from a tree into her companion's waiting arms—what on Earth was suicidal about that? And so she jumped, accelerating quickly towards Xena, whose face seemed to combine fear and stoicism as only Xena's could.