Author: Catlover51

Genre: Crack/Humor, Romance, AU

Summary: Darth Vader thought it was the last he'd see of his former master after Obi-Wan's body mysteriously vanished.

Obi-Wan is determined to prove him wrong.

As always.

Warnings: Mentions of Death, Explicit Language

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that are in Star Wars.

"When you really know somebody you can't hate them. Or maybe it's just that you can't really know them until you stop hating them."

-Orson Scott Card

Vader is kriffing pissed, he had to hear about the invasion mission, which took a few days to prepare might he add, by the Emperor just one day before said mission. When he asks about it to his supposed-to-be-dead-damn-it former master, the only thing he said is.

"Fear is not a perfect way to rule after all, Anakin?"

Vader does not know what that means, it's not like he is wearing a black creepy life-support suit just for inspiring fear, he will die without it. Kenobi only grinned at him mockingly as if pitying him, then patted him on the head three times in a condescending manner.

"If there is a thing I regret not teaching you, it's how to socialise like a functional person and not be a sociopathic edge lord who kills everyone that disagrees with your ideals."

Vader glared at him, if glares can kill. Obi-Wan would be something like double dead. Fortunately for our favourite 'Master Of Trolling' Jedi, Darth Vader is wearing a helmet that was covering his death glare he is giving Obi-Wan.

Which was coincidentally also the reason Sidious made a helmet instead of anything else for him.

Darth Vader has forgotten how annoying Kenobi is when in 'Master Of Trolling' mode. Vader slumped into a nearby chair. His arm crossed, pouting like a moody toddler.

"Now, now, Anakin." Kenobi said in a condescending tone, "If you keep on being stressed, you'll turn your hair grey— oh wait."

Darth Vader is now fuming in anger, determined to ignore his kriffing annoying former master, he throws himself into planning the invasion as he pretends Kenobi was not standing behind him, making snarky quips and comments about how much of a disaster Vader's planning was.

"Honestly, it's a miracle that the Empire is still standing."

Vader bang his head,

Repeatedly,

On a wall.

To no one's surprise, the mission failed. Miserably. Darth Vader stands in the middle of what an outsider would see as a hurricane of disaster, covered from head to toe in glitter. Piles and piles of unconscious stormtroopers' bodies stacked upon each other, beside him Kenobi bit on his lip trying to stifle a chuckle from escaping his vocal cords, but the crinkles of amusement near his eyes betrayed how he found this whole situation humorous .

Obi-Wan covered his mouth with those hands, Darth Vader reminisced how those hands felt like when Obi-Wan would- wait nope nope nope bad thought process.

Kenobi finally seemed to regain his sense and nodded once to the scene before him with that face he always saw whenever Anakin has done something terribly wrong but humorous. Like that time when he insulted a Senator's speech in front of the man's face, it was their fault really, who writes down 13 hours of a speech and expects anyone to pay attention.

Kenobi crosses his arms in the nonchalance grace he always has had, his soft ocean blue eyes flickering from the piles of bodies and to the glitter disaster that is Darth Vader. He pulls a mischievous smirk, "Ah yes, it seems like everything here went just as planned. Did it not, Darth?"

Darth Vader just sighed, rubbing his helmets, looking at his pink glitter filled gloves wondering how hard it would be to get glitter out of armor.

It will be there for days, months even lingering like his kriffing former master there will be evidence of this event from every conterminating spark in his armor in years to come.

"Shut up." He said lacking the anger and the annoyance that statement would hold if a Sith has said it.

"Come on everyone, get up."

A bunch of scattered groans responded him, while stormtroopers try to push themselves back up. The Sith just sighed, he is beginning to regret waking up for today.