(AN: So I was originally going to have a much longer chapter, but I was struggling with the second half of this chapter, so I cut it in half. This way you get a chapter sooner, and I can spend more time polishing up the second part. Enjoy!)

(Brunel Shopping Centre, Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, England, 2005, 1023 hours local time)

A brand-new Range Rover pulled into the carpark adjacent to the shopping centre, slowing creeping into a open parking spot. The engine cut, and the driver's door opened, revealing a burly man with a scarred face. SSG Barnes had opted to go civilian mufti, which consisted of a polo shirt, khaki chinos and trainers. The passenger door opened, revealing a redheaded teenaged girl in a fitted sweatshirt and blue jeans.

As Barnes led Perkins towards the shopping centre's entrance, he noticed that the junior officer turned teenager was fidgeting.

"Problem, loot?"

She let out an annoyed huff.

"My jeans are way, way too tight, they're riding up my ass."

Barnes let out an uncharacteristic chuckle.

"You didn't think girls had it easy, did ya, loot?"

Perkins snorted in a decidedly unladylike fashion.

"Yeah, right. Still trying to get used to thinking like the old me and sounding like Mary Poppins...speaking of which, for OpSec purposes you probably shouldn't be calling me loot, sergeant."

The sergeant nodded.

"Roger that, I suppose we should come up with a name for you."

He paused.

"Is there something that jumps out at you, loot?"

The girl sighed.

"Well, when I was a kid I used to watch the shit out of that old Disney movie Pollyanna, so I suppose Polly is okay."

She gave a wry smile.

"Besides, it's an alliterative name, so it works."

Barnes' grinned, but his scarred face twisted it into a grimace.

"Polly Perkins, yeah, it's got a ring."

They walked through the indoor mall, then Barnes stopped.

"There. That's where we'll go shopping."

Perkins looked up at the M&S sign.

"Marks and Spencer?"

"Yep, good department store. A one-stop-shop for all our needs."

In the store, the pair made their way to the women's section. Barnes, unaware of all the stares the other shoppers were giving him, approached a sales lady. She was in her twenties, an NRI with fair skin and straight black hair. She was also fashionably turned out in skinny jeans and a cropped top. Her exotic features creased into a friendly smile as she saw Barnes and Perkins approach.

"Oh hallo sir! How can I help?"

Barnes was caught off-guard by her bubbly personality, and just mumbled an answer.

"Um, yeah my daughter Polly needs uh...undergarments..."

She glanced over at Perkins.

"Oh, out shopping for bra and knickers are we? Excellent, what size is she?"

The sergeant suddenly realized he was garnering attention, and mumbled.

"Er...she's gone through a growth spurt, and I dunno what size she is. And I'm not keen to try and figgure it out."

"Why not have her mum come with?"

SSG Barnes froze for a second, and the words blurted out unbidden.

"erm...I'm divorced, ma'am."

It had the desired effect, the sales lady's face fell.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to...well you know."

When Barnes didn't respond she turned to Perkins.

"Anyhows, no worries I can help you out!"

She took the teen's hand and led her towards the underwear section, gushing over her new charge.

"Oh, I love your hair! It's so soft and silky, you should totally get it done at the hairdressers! My sis works there."

She giggled.

"And your skin is so soft, you're going to be breaking a lot of hearts this school term!"

Perkins tried to extricate herself, but the sales lady's grip might as well have been made of iron.

"Ah, er...dad?! Help?"

Barnes chuckled as he shook his head.

"Sorry baby girl, but that's no man's land. You're on your own..."

(Later...)

Preeti tried measuring the girl's bust one more time, but the teenager was squirming so much that it made the task much more difficult. Gathering up more patience, the shop lady spoke in a soft, soothing voice.

"Now, now sweetie...don't be so nervous it's alright."

She glanced up and saw her charge's father standing about six metres away. He looked hopelessly lost, but if he was divorced then it would come with the territory. As she measured the girl, Preeti took a good look at the father. Tall, his grim face was a mess of scars that would turn off some women, and turn others on. He had tattoos on his forearms, a dark polo shirt, and khakis. She raised her voice and spoke, rather than asked, the obvious.

"Oi! You're military, yeah?"

He glanced her way and nodded.

"Yeah. Good guess."

"Not much of a guess. Your demeanor, your short haircut, the ink. Wasn't much of a stretch, luv."

She smiled and pointed up to his face.

"And I doubt you got those beauty marks from the family cat."

That actually caused Barnes to chuckle.

"Roger that."

The clerk blushed.

"Erm, I know you Army Yanks like to say that, there's a lot of them that come through here."

She finished measuring the girl and approached the old NCO, lowering her voice to under a conversational tone.

"But you should know, rogering in English means something naughty."

Barnes raised an eyebrow, no mean feat given the scar tissue on his forehead.

"Oh yeah? What does it mean?"

The lady leaned in and whispered in his ear, giggling all the while.

"It means fucking, luv."

"Oh..."

Barnes shook his head.

"Why is the actual fuck can't you Brits speak normal?"

I was thinking the same thing, Preeti thought. She switched topics.

"By the way, what's your name?"

"Barnes, Sergeant First Class Barnes."

She smiled.

"And is Sergeant your first name or middle name?"

Barnes smiles slightly.

"Robert Barnes, I go by Bob."

She gave him another wink

"Mine is Preeti, Preeti Jhangiani. Nice to meet you Bob."

She giggled.

"Don't even bother trying to pronounce my last name, just call me Preeti. Or Pretty."

Barnes didn't know how to respond to that, but pointed to his 'daughter'.

"An' that's Polly Perkins."

He paused.

"Perkins was her mother's maiden name..."

"Ah, I see."

Preeti turned to 'Polly'.

"Right then, Bob, I've got Polly's measurements!"

She then took Perkins by the hand and scooped up several undergarments and a several other articles of clothing.

"I'll have her try these on and have her out in a jiffy!"

Barnes chuckled again as Perkins gave him a helpless look as she was being pulled into the ladies changing area, to which he responded with a light shrug. About fifteen minutes later (and some muted sounds of a struggle, at least what it sounded like to Barnes) and Preeti re-emerged with a proud expression on her face.

"Bob, I present, your daughter!"

Barnes regarded the boot loot, transformed now, in more ways than one. Between the the fashionable denim miniskirt and long-sleeved blue top and heels, Perkins genuinely looked like she could step off a red carpet event. Once again it reminded the dour senior NCO of his daughter. Of course, the lieutenant-turned-teenaged looked absolutely miserable.

"This just feels...weird, and way too tight!"

The sales lady examines her.

"No, this is just right, you're probably not used to wearing a bra, but don't worry you'll get used to it!"

Barnes grinned.

"Well baby girl, I hafta admit, you are a picture of prettiness."

He nodded to the sales lady.

"Alright, let's get this stuff rung up."

After he paid for the clothes and stuffed Perkins' old clothes into a shopping bag, he heard his name being called out.

"Oi, Bob! You forgot your receipt!"

Barnes opened his mouth to refute her claim and tell her that his receipt was in the bag, but the lady slipped a piece of paper in his palm and whispered in his ear.

"I work the closing shift, but I'd love to have a pint of lager with you."

The sergeant looked down and saw a twelve digit number hand-written on the slip of paper, then stared at her dumbfounded, his military brain quite literally locked up. Preeti continued as she winked at him.

"...And I'd like to know where you've been and how you got those beauty marks, luv."

(AN: I decided to end the chapter here, there is more to this shopping expedition but I felt that it would flow better in two chapters. Also, there's...other things that poor Lt. Perkins is going to have to deal with and I felt it would ruin some of the more light-hearted aspects of this chapter. I enjoyed humanizing the 'bad guy' elements of the Damned 33rd, and making the Blood Knight archtype Barnes a bit more nuanced of a character. This is just a step in that direction. But don't get too comfortable, remember this is a SO:TL crossover so there's going to be cruel plot twists and turns abound, Harry Potter notwithstanding. And anyone who is a Bollywood fan will get the reference of the shop lady's name. Anyways, if you guys like it continue to read, fav/follow and comment away!)