Her toast was getting cold.

Staring at her plate, the sounds of the kids' voices muffled as her mind could only focus on one thing and one thing only. Today was the day when she was going to sort herself out. And she was scared.

Perhaps more scared than she'd ever been.

May-Li had granted her wishes and managed to get Jody onto an anger management session the next week. It was fairly local and despite the quiet support of all the kids around her, she had no idea what to expect.

It wasn't like going boxing. Walk into the gym, get changed and get the gloves out. This was different. Unpredictable.

And now that she was grounded, this had been the only date on the calendar to occupy her mind. Her toes curled inside her shoes trying to quash her feeling of throwing up then and there.

A hand landed over hers on the table.

Jody only needed to glance up to know that Sasha could see right through her. She had no idea what she would do without her.

"Finish that. You'll thank me later."

Sasha knew all too well what Jody was facing. She'd been in a similar position years ago and though her own experiences of anger had been different to Jody's, she knew what it was like to go counselling and have to open up about your emotions.

It was terrifying! Having a stranger coax you in some way to open up, having to talk about things which you never felt you could never share with anyone in fear of them thinking you strange or awful... the fact was you would be putting yourself in such a vulnerable position.

But it was the bravest thing she'd ever done for herself. And now Jody was taking that step for herself too. Voluntarily.

Sasha was beyond proud of her friend for making such a big decision.

Meanwhile, Jody continued contemplating her plate. She still felt nauseous but trusting her friend, she bit into her cold toast bit by bit, swallowing each mouthful down with a sip of orange juice until she was finally able to leave the table.

That wasn't so bad after all.

The engine switched off and her knee bounced up and down. They were early.

May-Li glanced at the girl sitting beside her feeling a wave of emotions. For one, it had been her suggestion to let Jody go to the boxing gym in the first place even in spite of Mike's own initial disapproval of the idea.

Now the girl was suspended from her favourite pastime with her bruised right fist only serving as a reminder for all that happened. May-Li felt like the guilty party for where they had ended up.

She hadn't even noticed the relationship that was kept hidden from her until a few months ago. The subsequent separation of the two oldest members of the DG had hit Jody like a ton of bricks, and despite May-Li's encouragement of the young girl to find a purpose, to keep moving forward... it seemed Jody had in fact taken quite a few many steps back.

May-Li should've picked up on it earlier. She should've tried harder to talk to Jody about her feelings for Tyler, tried to help her move past it... but then again, this wasn't something that could be resolved so easily.

It'd always been the both of them, for as long as she'd known and this wasn't something to be concluded overnight.

"May-Li?"

"Yeah."

"I'm scared."

It suddenly hit Jody that this was the last route. The last way out of the cycle. If this didn't work, then nothing would. She would be proving everyone right, that she really was a part of some of that Jackson blood. May-Li had helped her realise at the police station that she wasn't all like that though. Living at the DG had taught Jody a fair few things about herself.

She could change. But how long would it take?

"It's okay to be scared. But I'm here with you. And we'll take this a little at a time, and it'll get easier. And Jody... you're not the only person who's ever gone through something like this. You're not alone."

May-Li's words were just what she needed to hear.

Jody glanced at herself in the wing mirror. She'd left her hair down somehow anticipating she'd need something to hide behind. Her grey hoodie kept her snug in the car and as she saw the small spatters of rain against the window, she decided to leave the car and head into the building before the rain got heavier.

Opening the car door, she turned back as May-Li called after her confirming whether Jody wanted her there.

"I've taken the day off; it's just me and you. You sure you don't want me to come inside?"

Jody would've loved to have May-Li there but she needed to do this herself. She was almost an adult and if she was to properly seek help, she had to feel like it was her decision. Her choice.

"No. I'll be fine. Thanks, May-Li."

"Please take a seat."

She sat down gingerly and took her coat off, glancing around the room. It was a simple little office and the woman who'd introduced herself as Dr. Reid sat down on the chair opposite her.

She smiled asking me if Jody was comfortable and to her surprise she was. It was a little daunting, the atmosphere around them was completely silent for once and she was able to gather her thoughts.

Even though she had no idea what she was going to say.

Jody listened as the counsellor got straight to the point. She'd filled out a few forms about her anger which she'd addressed straight away, and confirmed the reasons for why Jody was seeing her today.

It was helpful hearing it from her, though with each sentence it felt all the more set in stone that Jody had a problem.

Her mouth was beginning to feel a little dry and Jody spotted the cup of water on the table which had been shifted towards her.

Despite the vulnerability of the situation, she felt supported somehow.

"So what we're aiming to do is to help identify specific issues related to your anger which might be problematic for you. And by doing so, we might be able to control it better. This is all feedback for you and it is up to you what you decide to do with it."

"Yeah. That sounds good," Jody replied.

The session continued for about an hour.

Jody surprisingly learnt a lot. The fact that certain situations would trigger something in her and a fight-or-flight response would be stimulated almost like a reflex.

It was something which could be controlled however, if she was able to sense and stop herself from lashing out. Whenever her heartbeat sped up, whenever her fists started to clench... if she could spot that and shut it down, perhaps she wouldn't end up scrapping with anyone again.

"It's important to not let things get violent. And not just for the other person in the scenario, but for you too. A lot of dangerous things can occur in confrontational situations and it's important that you don't get seriously hurt in the long run."

She'd never really thought about it like that. All this time, she'd made herself out to be this uncontrollable monster. But she was risking herself too in those unfortunate situations.

A memory came back to her of May-Li tending to her bruised knuckles the past week. She'd merely seen it as the cursed scar of her physical fight with Gemma, but perhaps May-Li had been more upset knowing that Jody had hurt herself.

Either way, Jody definitely didn't want to get so violent again.

"What can I do with that anger though? I've tried to stay calm but sometimes, it's like... I have nowhere else to put that hurt. I don't know... that probably doesn't make sense."

"No. It's a really good question," Dr. Reid encouraged. "On your form, it says you'd been going boxing until recently and that can help you vent out your feelings. But it doesn't always help you understand why you feel the way you do. Sometimes, it's better to put it into words."

"I'm rubbish with words. I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed..."

The counsellor smiled kindly.

"What I meant was, verbalising your thoughts, even if they don't make much sense to you or anyone, can help you get things out of your head. You can try writing stuff down and no, it doesn't have to be super eloquent. It's about trying to make sense of it."

They continued chatting a while longer. Jody found herself able to open up more and more... she felt a lot more comfortable talking to someone who she knew was there to help her and not judge her.

And the counsellor, although she wasn't claiming to help resolve all her problems overnight, was helping Jody think about her anger in a different way.

Jody opened up slightly about her life before the DG: Kingsley, Luke and Mum. The trauma she'd suffered at the hands of them had definitely made her more defensive and she was often thinking about her own behavioural characteristics in comparison to theirs.

The whole "inherited" question.

"Like you said Jody, many things can be picked up from our environment too. You made the decision to come here to get help and that goes to show that you are willing to learn and change. It can help however, to address what happened in the past. So that you can make your peace with it and be able to live in the present moment a little more."

Jody left the session feeling a little lighter than she had before. She shook Dr. Reid's hand and said her thank you, before heading back outside.

Noticing May-Li sat on the bonnet of her car, she joined her as May-Li turned to her concerned.

"How was it? How are you feeling?"

Jody said nothing and instead hugged May-Li. It might've been Jody's own decision to come to the session, but she felt a lot better now than she'd seen it through.

She couldn't have done it without May-Li's support.

"It's not so bad. It was just... talking, and she was good. What she was saying, it made sense and... "

Jody winced as a tear fell from her eyes.

She felt exhausted but a little lighter. It'd taken all of her energy but she'd come out the other side of it.

"Hungry?"

May-Li smiled at Jody who dabbed at her eyes and sniffed before nodding. She was proud of the girl today.

It hadn't been easy. And it wasn't going to be, but the reward was seeing Jody a little happier than she had been.

They snacked in the car, despite May-Li's usual scrunching her nose up at the idea. A good ol' Maccie D's was always the treat.

The session had only lasted a little while, but it felt like half the day had already gone. Jody was having a proper nice day out with May-Li, something which hadn't really happened in a while.

May-Li scrolled through photos of Henry on her phone; he'd started to stand up and the videos were all too endearing. Jody smiled slightly and glanced at May-Li. All these years, she'd been like a mother figure to her but she'd connected more with May-Li as a person than any other care worker she'd ever had.

The boxing had felt like their thing for a long time. And now May-Li was like a friend to rely on, someone who was waiting by the corner ready to drive Jody home. It wouldn't be long before Jody would have to face the real world by herself.

It was a slight feeling, but she felt a lot older now. Almost as though she'd outgrown the motherly affections she'd had for May-Li, and had started seeing her as someone on her level. Someone who got it.

"So where to next? Like I said I took the day off, we could go anywhere you want. Or if you'd prefer to go back home, we can do that too."

Jody considered this. She knew why May-Li probably had taken the whole day off; in case the session hadn't gone so well. Jody knew that May-Li was definitely keeping more of an eye on her now, especially given everything that had happened in the past few weeks.

She leaned back in her seat and gazed out at the field in front of her. Peaceful.

She wanted to dwell in this peace for a while longer, feel the quiet settle around her. Something which was rare in the DG. Had all the old leavers felt this way before they'd left?

It was strange to admit it now, especially after all that had happened with her potential trip to St Lucia with Tyler but she was starting to look ahead. Say she was finally able to control her anger, what then?

Where did that leave her? Would she suddenly have grown up? Would it finally make sense to move on?

After all, hadn't a certain someone also made the same move a while ago. Made peace with his demons and as soon as he'd done that, he'd moved on. Disappeared overnight and as much as most people liked to forget talking about him...

"May-Li?"

"Mm?"

"This might sound strange but I was wondering if we could visit someone."

He grunted a little as he shoveled the hay into the nets. It could be tiring work sometimes, but the reward was priceless. For once in his life, he'd found something that was invaluable and no... he wasn't talking about his PlayStation.

It was worth the early mornings. He had routine here, different to that of the DG, but it was something to do. As someone who'd always been so reluctant to do chores, he was now managing to get through them all super easily.

He'd gotten himself a gym membership. He was going horse-riding in the afternoons. And the evenings were usually occupied with his gaming and strategising.

University was starting soon and he was busy studying hard. His course was one that was tricky to get on but he had an advantage with his experience. The constabulary wasn't exactly the same as studying Criminal Law, but Ryan knew he could certainly stand his ground with debates.

His phone buzzed and he dusted his hands against his trousers before answering.

"Hello?"

"Ryan? Um, hi... it's me. Jody."

He frowned a little. Despite keeping in touch with Chloe and sending Mike a postcard every now and then, he'd pretty much cut all ties with everyone else there. It'd been almost 9 months since he'd left them behind and it was strange that out of everyone, Jody was calling him.

"What do you want?" he replied, his usual snarly self coming back into play.

He could hear a sigh on the other end of the phone and a silence fall.

"Hello?" he asked, getting slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm with May-Li in the car. I thought, if you weren't busy, we could come and see you."

"Why?"

He was confused. Why would she want to come and see him out of the blue? He'd known from the off that she hadn't exactly been the biggest fan of him in the DG, but he'd made her peace with her before he'd left. What was the point in coming to see him now?

He'd moved on.

"I want to talk to you about something. I... I've been going through something and well... I thought you could give me some advice."

"Me?"

"Yeah."

He paused, this was really weird. Jody wanted to come to him for help?

"Sorry. I mean... if you don't want to see us, I understand..."

"No... wait."

He was still getting his head around it all. It was strange to speak to Jody after so long, but if she wanted some advice he might as well hear her out. It wasn't part of his usual daily routine that he'd grown accustomed to but he was curious now.

"I'll speak to my supervisor and text you back. Is that okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks Ryan."

May-Li didn't know what was going through Jody's mind necessarily. She would've thought out of everyone, Jody might've wanted to speak to Carmen or Tee. She felt a little wary wondering how the two would interact and hoped that it wasn't going to turn sour.

But Jody had requested to meet Ryan specially. She probably had a reason why.

They arrived at the constabulary and glanced out towards the fields. A few horses were being petted and walked around in the fresh air. Some others were grazing.

Jody held a hand over her eyes to block the sun. She'd been interested in horses from a young age when Luke had brought home a "My Little Pony" for her fifth birthday. It was one of the many toys which she'd left behind when she'd gone into care, but that same feeling arose again as she saw the horses on the field.

And this is what Ryan got to see everyday.

"Hey."

They turned around as Ryan walked towards them, his sleeves rolled up and splattered with mud. His face looked a lot brighter and despite the confusion etched onto his face, he looked pretty content.

It was strange but he looked different somehow. Changed.

"I've got the rest of the day off. So... what's going on?" he continued, tucking his hands into his pockets.

Jody suddenly felt a lump rise in her throat but with a look of encouragement from May-Li, she stepped forward. Sure, she and Ryan had hardly seen eye to eye but this was what she needed to do.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?"

A few minutes later, they were sat on a bench on the field. May-Li had disappeared to catch up with Ryan's supervisor and see how he was doing. A silence had settled between them both and it was awkward to say the least.

"Listen, are you gonna talk or what?"

Ryan's impatience got the better of him and Jody decided to swallow her pride and tell Ryan everything. Surprisingly, he stayed quite throughout... hearing Jody talk about her awful past week with Gemma, her feelings about her family, the anger management session she'd gone on today, and how she'd been feeling in general.

"...I just... I know you went through something similar. Your mum visited and you were able to sort that somehow. And next thing, you'd packed your stuff and moved on. I wanna know how."

"It wasn't as easy as that."

"Yeah. Sorry... I didn't mean to sound..."

"It's okay. I guess with me, I needed to correct something in my head. Give myself back the power that she took from me, and stop her invading my thoughts. And it's still not all okay, but I know what it is now. And I know that whenever I start thinking like that, it's her. And I've done nothing wrong. After all that with mum, I knew that there was no real reason for me to stay besides maybe Chloe. But she'd survived plenty without me."

"She misses you a lot. Talks about you all the time."

"Does she? Well, I miss her. But it's worked out for the better. I've got a job and I'm doing something meaningful with my life. I enjoy it."

"Weren't you scared? I mean, you didn't know exactly what it was gonna be like out here."

"No, but I was ready to face that. I've had good days and bad days, but I'm able to deal with that on my own now. If I ever need to talk to anyone, I have my supervisor and I have my friends..."

"Friends?" Jody teased.

"Shut up, Jody."

They sat in silence a little while longer but this time it wasn't so awkward. Jody seemed to understand about Ryan a little better. He turned to her noting the thoughtful expression on her face. Her eyes gazed at the horses on the field.

"Chloe told me. About you and Tyler."

"You don't sound surprised."

"I wasn't."

She frowned and looked at him shocked.

"It was pretty obvious that you two cared a lot about one another. Just a matter of time," he stated casually. "It must've been hard letting him go."

She opened her mouth to retort angrily, but realised that he wasn't trying to wind her up. He genuinely meant it.

"It was. But I wasn't ready to leave the DG."

Ryan nodded understandingly, before another question occurred to him.

"Say you were. Would you still have left with him? To St Lucia?"

Jody hadn't thought about that. A shocking statement came to her when she realised that perhaps there was more to that decision than heartbreak and a simple explanation of not being ready to leave home.

"No..."

The rush of that day still lingered on her mind. Even when Elektra had returned them to the DG to grab the passports, she'd still hadn't fully grasped what it would have been like to flee to another country. All she'd cared about was being wherever her boyfriend was.

She hadn't thought about where.

"I mean, I love him. But I... my life is here."

"How do you know?"

"Because! I... want to go to college. I want to get a job, maybe at the boxing gym if they'll have me. I want to get my own house, near Luke somewhere. But it has to be here. This is my home."

"Exactly."

Ryan smiled. He knew that Jody was someone who was perfectly happy with where she was right now. Her life and her dreams were to be happy, and though her life would constantly be changing, she knew one thing for sure and that she wouldn't be comfortable moving to another country and starting up her life again there.

Jody smiled letting out a breath, she didn't know she was holding.

"It's weird though."

"What is?"

"I don't want to forget about the DG. About Tyler and I. It's the only place I know inside out."

Ryan shook his head.

"Believe me. You won't forget the DG. But it has to move on and change, like everything does. And so do you at some point. You don't want to end up hating the place, you've got your memories and the people you meet there will always come back to haunt you. I mean, that's basically what you're doing right now."

"Yeah," she chuckled.

"And Tyler? Believe me, he's not the only person who sees who you are. You're one of a kind, Jody Jackson."

She glanced at Ryan whose expression was about as genuine as she'd ever seen him. It made her realise. All these people who seemed to respect Jody somehow: May-Li, Sasha, Tyler, even Gemma and now Ryan?

They must've had a reason. Maybe she just wasn't seeing it herself.

"I'm sorry, Ryan. I know we weren't exactly besties, but I wasn't the nicest to you back then."

"It's okay. You had your moments. And I had mine. It's a mixture: good and bad. But the DG... it really wasn't as bad as the places I'd been before. You guys are alright."

He held out an arm and Jody leaned in for a hug. Ryan really wasn't so bad to talk to after all. He got it. And so did she. A bit anyway.

"This is El Nino."

"Is this what you meant by having friends?"

Ryan laughed sarcastically, before asking Jody to hold her hand out and stroke him. She hesitated feeling a little unsure. The last thing she wanted was to scare the horse away.

"It's okay. Think of something that makes you calm."

"What is this? Therapy?"

"Jody, c'mon!"

"Okay. I'll try."

It was a big ask especially when nothing seemed to make Jody feel calm these days. She thought about a moment back in Elm Tree House. She was making Tyler's memory box, her hands sifting through Carmen's sticky jewels and Tee's crayons.

Her hand made contact and she inhaled sharply as Ryan muttered words of encouragement to her.

It was strangely comforting, stroking the horse and feeling the strength of his muscles under his coat. Her eyes connected with El Nino's who snuffed and glanced away but she continued stroking, barely noticing as Ryan disappeared and returned with May-Li.

"She's a natural," he was saying. "There's a stables not too far from here where I take riding lessons. She could try that for a while, maybe until her boxing gym opens up for her again."

"It's a lot of money."

"I can put in a good word. Play the old 'care kid' card."

"Ryan!"

He smiled pleadingly as May-Li gave in; Ryan had a point. This was a good idea, for a while at least. It'd keep Jody occupied. May-Li would have to amend the terms of her grounding though.

"She can start by helping muck out. If you don't mind having her here."

"No problem."

Jody eventually turned away from the horse before smiling and thanking Ryan for his help. Today had been a good day and she felt a lot more motivated now on her path to eventually leaving the DG.

"You're welcome anytime. And well, if you ever want to talk, I'm here."

Jody knew that he wasn't explicitly saying that he was mates with her now, but it was the start of something new. They were a lot more similar than they'd realised. And with their shared experience of life in the DG, he'd been a lot of help.

She finished reading the last page. Glancing up, she smiled at Taz who'd asked for her help with a creative writing piece she'd been given for homework. It was good, really good.

"I loved it. Especially the bit about the dragon who found his wings again."

"Yay! Thank you Jody!"

Smiling Jody glanced at Sasha across the room, who nodded approvingly. After so many days, the DG had slowly but surely started to interact with Jody again like old times. And she was more than happy to be there for them when they needed her.

Just like they had been there, for her.

(A/N): Sorry that this isn't a chapter about Luke and Jody - but that will come in the next few chapters. I also want to point out that I'm not fully knowledged in how anger management sessions are led but I did want to show Jody starting to think about her behaviour and the steps she could take to correct it in the future.

I also wrote in the scene with Ryan purely because, I think it makes sense for her to speak to someone who also struggled heavily with his emotions in the DG and could offer support that everyone could change and become their own person.

Hope you enjoyed this and thanks so much to the guest reviewer! Your reviews make my day and your support is greatly appreciated.