A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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After throwing Minnelli out of his house, he retired to his room. It wasn't like he had anything to do. He just needed to think, and he always did his best thinking alone.

"Mr. Jane?"

"What?!"

He roared...he really needed to work on that roaring business. It was hard to control, but very uncouth. He didn't need to completely act the part.

He turned to see the grandfather clock and candelabra following him. Cho and Rigsby were their names. That used to sound like an odd statement, especially since he had no idea when the hell he acquired a candelabra. Not anymore.

Rigsby cleared his throat. "Since Agent Lisbon is going to be with us a while, don't you think you should put her in a room? You know, make her more comfortable?"

"It's also not a good look to have a woman trapped in the basement. Some might think you have ill intent instead of just lonely and ashamed of your current state. After all, it's why you let the pretty lady stay but locked her away. Either one of them could have helped you solve the mystery."

"I don't need any help! I can do this on my own! I will break this curse and get justice for myself..and all of us!"

"If that were true, then why are we all still like this?"

As annoying as it was, Cho was always blunt but spoke the truth. He appreciated that quality. He wasn't as chatty as Rigsby or Van Pelt, so naturally, he preferred talking to Cho.

Hightower...well, she kept her distance. He knew the moment she came to the door why she was here. Disgruntled clients and their families were always sending one PI or another to investigate him, but they all left frustrated and empty handed. She would have been no different had this curse not taken place.

He needed help getting rid of this curse, but asking for help had never been his strong suit, especially because he was supposed to be the one with all of the answers. Beyond the fact that Lisbon immediately caught his interest with her strong stance against him, he wasn't sure why he accepted her offer. She definitely had spunk though.

"Fine! Prepare a room for her."

Cho and Rigsby both gawked at him for a moment. Rigsby waved his arms around. "We don't work for you. We're your guests!"

"Well, if you want her in a room, you should prepare it and show her there. And if you're guests, stop letting people into my house!"

Cho tilted his clock hands to 9 and 3. "Whatever works. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a clock forever."

Maybe a room would make her comfortable. Would she be more likely to talk to him that way?

After getting rid of that Minnelli guy, he'd not been in the best of moods. Well, these days, he was never in the best of moods. Though, it was interesting that Lisbon offered to take his place. Did she care for her boss? From their brief conversation, he could tell that he'd find many interesting things about her.

As Cho and Rigsby made their way off, he had an idea. "Wait!"

"Yes?"

"Make sure Agent Lisbon is dressed to join me for dinner this evening. And don't tell her about the curse!"

With that, they were off.

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Some time later, she heard whispers.

"Who's there?"

The oak door opened barely an inch. She was a bit unsure why the door opened, but she took that as a sign to get up the stairs and out into the kitchen. Looking around, she wondered if perhaps she could make a dash to the front door. She didn't have her phone, but if she could make it to the main highway, she could call for help.

"Lisbon?"

"Yes! Who's there?"

How many hostages did this guy have?

"Down here."

She scanned around the room, lowering her eyes. Not far behind her stood a candelabra that was waving one of its arms at her with a clock and a feather duster. She blinked, trying to refocus her eyes as she noticed the candelabra leaned into the clock.

"Maybe you should talk."

Did the moving candelabra just talk? Well, she did just speak with a beast earlier. On reflex, she reached for her mother's cross. Was she in purgatory?

The clock sighed before shrugging away from the candelabra. "We're here to show you to your room. Please don't freak out."

"Please don't freak out? I'm talking to inanimate objects. That word is supposed to mean something. You are talking and have faces!"

The clock sighed. "Would it be better if we sang a song and asked you to be our guest?"

She shook her head slowly. "No. Are you going to sing to me?"

The feather duster laughed softly. "We weren't planning on it. And I guess that word used to mean something before we were all turned. I'm Grace Van Pelt!"

"Turned?" They all nodded. "Grace Van Pelt?"

The feather duster twisted. "That's me!"

She looked at the other objects. "Would that make you Kimball Cho and Wayne Rigsby?"

They nodded at her identifications. All of their missing persons cases were here? Did that mean...

"Lisbon?"

She looked to her side to see a vibrantly painted teapot staring at her. She'd know those brown eyes anywhere.

"Hightower?"

"Yes!"

"What...what happened to you all?" Her friend was a teapot. She was definitely hallucinating or something.

Rigsby guffawed. "It's a long story, but basically, we were all in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"No. No. I'm hallucinating or having a mental break or dreaming. This can't be real!"

"Lisbon, it is real. I can't explain it beyond something weird happened, but we are all humans turned to objects."

"We were cursed!" Grace watched her with bright eyes.

"Cursed?"

"Yeah. Long story short: this evil guy got really pissed at Jane and decided to make his life a living hell. Only, he decided that because we were here too, we were all close enough to have our lives ruined too." Cho stared away from her after explaining.

"I see. So you're saying this man took you all hostage? Even Jane?"

Rigsby hummed. "Well, I suppose we could leave, but come on. Look at us! Besides, I've got my girl and my best friend here with me!"

"Oh, Wayne!" Grace twirled her feathers. It was actually kind of cute. They must be a sweet couple. At the startling realization that she'd just wondered whether a candelabra and feather duster were a cute couple, she shook her head.

"Yeah, I'm having a hell of a time being stuck here as a clock, especially with the ringing on the hour." Admittedly, she had to bite back a smile at Cho's words.

"Are my kids ok?" Hightower looked at her with sad eyes.

"They're fine. They're with their dad."

Hightower lowered her eyes. "Good. Well, come on, guys. Let's show her to her room."

With that, Van Pelt, Rigsby, and Cho led the way. They made quite a little team. She momentarily wondered if she'd lost her mind. What if the stress of the job and not being able to solve this missing persons case that plagued her was causing her to have a mental health break? Shaking off that thought, she decided to just follow them as Madeleine stayed at her side.

"I know this seems really weird, Teresa, but it's true. I was looking into a lead about this guy who my client believed was a fake psychic bilking people for money. He had obtained an expensive family heirloom. I came by-right as all hell broke loose."

A few years back, Hightower was falsely accused of killing a suspect. Of course, she didn't do it. Lisbon helped prove her innocence, but Hightower was absolutely done with the CBI after the hell she went through. She couldn't blame her. She only wished she stayed in touch better when her friend opened her private investigation firm.

"I...I believe you, I think. I don't know. Maybe I'm just seeing things because I feel guilty for not being able to find you and bring you home to your family."

"Well, I think that's why you're here."

"What do you mean?"

Her friend took a brief pause to gather her thoughts. "He's not going to say it out loud, but he needs help breaking the curse. He got himself-and us-into a jam, and he can't quite figure out what it is that he's supposed to do to end it."

Rigsby called back to them. "Hey! He said not to talk about that!"

Hightower rolled her eyes, continuing anyway. She chuckled a bit. Her friend, the teapot, chuckled. "He's a real smooth talker, but he can't quite figure out how to ask for help. I'm just trying to get the ball rolling here."

"So what's this curse?"

By this time, Cho had rejoined them. "This guy wants Jane to learn something about himself to break the curse and join him or something like that. I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention. Grace wanted us all to come here. It was her birthday."

Hightower hummed as they stopped and Cho opened the door to her room. "We are stuck this way until Jane breaks the curse. He invited you to dinner."

"To dinner?"

Madeleine spoke again. "He wants to talk to you. Too proud to ask you to help, but he will want to check you out and see if you can help. Make him use his words."

"Ok, but we want to end the curse soon. I can't take much more of this ringing...or being stuck watching a candelabra and a feather duster in the form of my friends make out. It was bad enough when they were human."

"Hey!" Rigsby and Van Pelt exclaimed at the same time.

She smiled. "So dinner?"

"Uh, yes. He's asked you to get dressed and join him for dinner."

She wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, I'm not doing that. If he wants to talk, he can come to me."

She noticed Rigsby's face fall. "But...but he wants you...you have to go. He'll be upset. You're his guest!"

"Do you guys eat dinner with him? Is this dinner just me and him? Over candlelight?"

"That sounds romantic." Van Pelt twirled again.

"Ok, stop that twirling."

Van Pelt looked at her in shame. "Sorry. I can't quite control it."

"And that's my point! Man or beast: they're all the same. I don't have to join him for dinner to thank him for being a gracious captor. Thank you for getting him to put me in a room, but I'm not playing his games. If he wants my help, he can come to me."

With that, everyone but Hightower left her room. Admittedly, it was a nice room with a large canopy bed and what appeared to be hand carved furniture. Under different circumstances, it might seem cozy. She sat in the bed and lied on top of the covers as Hightower hopped up next to her.

"So you're telling me there's a curse? Like an actual, magical curse?"

"As sure as I look like a teapot talking to you, there's a curse."

"And you don't know how to break it?"

"No one does. I've tried to talk to Jane a bit, but I'm sure he knows why I was here. I couldn't get him to open up. Teresa, he's hard to talk to, but please help him figure it out."

She sighed. "I'll help him, but I meant what I said. He can come ask me for help. You know I don't like being pushed around and given orders."

"I know."

"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course."

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"What do you mean she's refusing to have dinner with me?"

Rigsby sighed. "She declined your offer. She said you can come to her."

"I can come to her?! Isn't it customary for a guest to dine with their host?"

"She's not your guest. You took her hostage." Cho deadpanned.

"In that case, she should just come to dinner."

"Or maybe you should go to her." The damn feather duster was twirling again as the candelabra nodded. Van Pelt seemed very sweet in her human form, but all of the twirling was getting on his nerves.

He huffed loudly. "Fine! Since I must do everything here, I'll go to her."

He stormed away toward the guest room, pounding on the door as he approached. "I invited you to dinner!"

"I heard, and I'm not interested in playing your games!"

"Games? What? Do you think I'd try to seduce you over a meal? I'd never try something so sophomoric!" Why did his mind immediately end up here? "And someone thinks highly of herself doesn't she?"

"Oh, go screw yourself!"

"Lovely. Quite the little lady!"

The door swung open. "I swear to God: do not ever call me that!"

Beyond her words, that wild look in her eyes told him he struck a nerve. Clearly, she was used to having an upper hand but also didn't like the perception of being pushed around.

"So do you want to eat dinner or not?" Even if he weren't in this form, he would not have been able to miss the growl of her stomach as she brought her hands over her belly.

He motioned for her to come with him. "Come on. Let's get you fed."

She grumbled. "Do you even have actual food?"

He moved his mouth to one side. "This house has everything we need. I'd wager dinner is already on the table. If you'd like to change into something more comfortable after dinner, I'm sure you'll find clothes in your exact size and preference in the closet. I'm not sure when the house started doing that, but it's magical like that."

She rolled her eyes at him. Even with her anger, those were beautiful eyes.

"Fine!" She marched out of the room.

"You're going the wrong way. The dining room is this way!" He pointed in the opposite direction. "Would it be ok if I showed you there, or are you just going to stubbornly stomp around the house?"

When she turned to face him, he noticed the redness of her chest and neck. She was barely holding her rage back. Good. He could work with that.

She tightened her jaw and pushed her shoulders back again. She looked like an angry little princess. Oh, she would absolutely hate it if he told her that right now.

"Lead the way, Mr. Jane."

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A/N 2: I'm not willing to admit how long it took me to figure out if Cho's clock hands would be at 9 and 3 or 10 and 2...