It is later that day, and Bjorn and Halfdan have joined a group of men who are all standing around a fire, trying to get warmed up. They know most of them, have known them for years. But they haven't seen them for the longest time, and they can't deny that it feels odd to be in their company again.
"What about the women there, what are they like?" a young man asks, and Bjorn can't help but smile, thinking of the morning Halfdan had told him about the woman the Emir had sent to him.
"They are not that different," Bjorn shrugs. "They are beautiful… well-spoken…"
"Clever," Halfdan adds, and Bjorn nods in agreement.
"Good in bed?" a man asks.
"That too," Bjorn laughs, but he feels like he is just playing along. Like he is telling them what they want to hear. Something about it doesn't feel right. Not anymore.
"From what I've heard, you two didn't seem to care that much about the women," an older man says, and Bjorn looks at him, not liking where this is going.
"What are you talking about?"
"You two preferred the company of each other, isn't that right?"
"He's just like Ragnar, isn't he?" another man laughs, and both Bjorn and Halfdan look at him. "He didn't mind the company of men, especially not while he was away from home."
"He once even invited me into his bed," another man laughs. "Of course I said no, but…"
"You are just like him, Bjorn. Ragnar didn't care who, or what he fucked either. As long as he…," one of the men begins, but Halfdan doesn't want to hear the rest of it. He storms off, and Bjorn knows exactly why. He feels hurt, insulted. The men are making it out like he was a piece of meat, a quick fuck. The whore he has always been made out to be.
"Did you tell them?" Bjorn spits out, stepping up to Ubbe.
"What?"
"Did you tell them about me and him?"
"I didn't tell them anything."
"Then how…"
"He didn't have to tell us," one of the men shrugs. "Not after the way you and Lagertha were shouting at each other last night."
"I wouldn't tell them, Bjorn," Ubbe says. "It isn't my place."
"I…"
"Go," Ubbe whispers. Bjorn turns, and he goes after Halfdan, only to find him by the water. He has tears in his eyes, the shame written all over his face.
"You are just like your father," Halfdan spits out. "He would fuck anything. He didn't care who, he just…"
"My father wasn't like that," Bjorn says. "He loved Athelstan."
"And the other men?" Halfdan asks, and Bjorn sighs, as he sits down. Halfdan joins him, and Bjorn takes his hand. "Are they right? Is that what it was?"
"My father…"
"Not Ragnar, Bjorn."
"They have no idea what they are talking about. They are wrong about my father," Bjorn says. "And they couldn't be more wrong about me. About us."
"Is this what it is going to be like, if we…"
"No," Bjorn says, before Halfdan can even say another word. "I will tell them, that you are more than that. That we are…"
"What?"
"That…," Bjorn tries again, but he can't find the words to say. And before he knows it, he has blurted out the only words he can think of. "Marry me. Be my husband."
"Don't be stupid," Halfdan spits out, and he wants to get up and storm off. But Bjorn grabs his arm, so he can't go anywhere. "Don't you dare mock me. I don't care who you are, I will…"
"You think I would mock you?"
"Then why would you say such a thing?"
"Because I want you to be my…"
"What?" Halfdan laughs, but his voice is filled with anger. "You know that such a thing isn't possible."
"Just because no one has done it before, does not mean that it is impossible. If we could just… why not, Halfdan?" Bjorn asks. And it isn't until he looks into Bjorn's eyes, that Halfdan realises that he actually means what he is saying.
"You know why not."
"You said it yourself, I am Bjorn Ironside, son of Ragnar Lothbrok. If I want to marry a man, I should be able to do so."
"You have gone mad," Halfdan says, and a big grin forms on Bjorn's face. "I mean it, Bjorn. If anyone hears you say this, they will…"
"Let them. I will tell anyone who wants to hear."
"You are mad," Halfdan repeats, but Bjorn ignores his words. He simply pushes him down into the mud, and leans down over him.
"I am going to marry you, Halfdan."
"I haven't even said I would marry you."
"But you want to, yes?" Bjorn asks, and a shy smile forms on Halfdan's lips. "I will make this happen. I promise."
Not another word had been said about the promise Bjorn had made that day. Their minds had been on other things, with gearing up for battle, trying to negotiate for at least some kind of peace. Halfdan had even been the hostage to go into Ivar and Harald's camp, and Bjorn can't deny that he had been worried that he wouldn't be coming back. That Harald would get to him, that he would play his mind games, and manage to get him to stay and fight on his side.
But Halfdan had come back, and he had chosen to fight on Bjorn's side. It had even led to his brother punching him in the face, and promising to kill him. Bjorn could see the pain in Halfdan's eyes, but Halfdan had put on a brave face, and the threat hadn't persuaded him to change his mind.
Even as they are on the battle field now, they are still standing side by side, ready to face whatever today might bring.
"Bjorn?"
"Yes?"
"If I die today… if my brother kills me…," Halfdan begins, and Bjorn looks at him, surprised to find Halfdan's face having turned a sickly ashen colour. "I want you to know that…"
"Don't. You can tell me later," Bjorn quickly says, not ready to face up to the reality that he could actually be losing Halfdan today. "You can't die today. You swore to me you would be there with me, next time…"
"But if I die," Halfdan says, "What you have given me these last months…"
"I know," Bjorn quickly says, and he almost leans in to kiss him. But he remembers where he is, what is about to happen. So he simply gives a small nod, and he turns to look ahead, not able to face Halfdan anymore. The thought of losing him today, of not getting to see more of the world, with him by his side again, it makes him feel a pain in his body which he cannot put into words. It isn't like any other pain he has ever felt before, and it almost brings him to his knees.
But by the time he snaps out of it, he realises he is in the middle of battle. The flashes of people running past him, the sounds of people crying out, the last sound they will ever make, the smell of blood, of sweat… it brings him right back to himself, and it makes him fight for his life. This is what he knows, what he has known for most of his life.
Bjorn has just killed another man, and he is about to turn around, when something makes him change his mind. In the distance he sees Halfdan killing man after man, completely unaware of the fact that his brother is staring at him. It makes Bjorn feel sick to his stomach, because if Harald decides to make his move right now, he is too far away to stop him. He will have no choice but to watch as Harald kills Halfdan.
Still, he fights his way through the crowd, not even turning to look who he is leaving behind. He needs to know he has given it his all to try and save Halfdan. But Harald is already marching over to his brother, and Bjorn feels like no matter how hard he is trying to run, he can't seem to close the distance between himself and the brothers.
Halfdan turns around, ready to fight whoever he will have to face next. But when he finds his brother standing in front of him, a determined look on his face, he can feel the fight leaving his body.
"I am sorry, brother," Harald says, but all Halfdan can do is nod. The moment he chose to leave Harald's side, when he chose to go with Bjorn instead, he knew that this was going to happen. It was unavoidable. He had been preparing himself for this day, but now that it is here, it hurts more than he would ever admit. Not because his own brother has chosen to kill him, but because it is happening right now. Before he has gotten the chance to have more time with Bjorn.
As he faces the reality that this is the moment he is going to die, images start flashing before his eyes From being a little boy, to being a teenager and Harald teaching him how to fight, to the moment where Bjorn had asked him to be his husband. Just seeing the big happy grin on Bjorn's face, it makes Halfdan feel a kind of calm.
But just as he watches Harald raising his arm, ready to strike, his brother's eyes widen. A trickle of blood starts pouring from his mouth, and it takes a moment for Halfdan to realise what is happening, but when Harald falls down to his knees, he kneels down beside him, and he takes him into his arms.
"Harald!"
Harald looks like he is trying to speak, but he can't, and all Halfdan wants to do is help him and make him better. But he knows he can't, because when he looks over his brother's shoulder, he sees the axe sticking from his back. It is dug deep in, and he has seen enough of these injuries to know what this means.
He looks up, only to find Bjorn standing in the middle of the ongoing battle, a look of nothing but pure shock on his face. For a moment it feels like the world has stopped, like they have all frozen in time, but when Halfdan feels his brother getting heavier in his arms, he looks down at him, realising he is gone.
Bjorn runs over to the brothers, relieved that he has managed to save Halfdan's life. But he has just killed Harald, and he knows what this means, not only for the battle, but for Halfdan. He has just lost his brother, and he can only imagine the pain he must be feeling right now, because no matter what they might have gone through, no matter how distanced they had become, Bjorn knows how much Halfdan still cares for his brother.
"You killed him," Halfdan says, and the words cut through Bjorn like a knife. "You…"
"I am sorry."
"You saved my life," Halfdan adds, looking up from the man in his arms, up into Bjorn's eyes.
"We have to go," Bjorn says, not knowing what else to say. But he can tell that they are losing, that if they stay here any longer, that surely they will die. That it won't matter whether he saved Halfdan a moment ago or not.
After their defeat on the battlefield, Bjorn and his family had left Kattegat, making sure to be gone before Ivar would get there. They had travelled to the only place where they knew they would be safe for now, but being defeated and being on the run, it had gotten to Bjorn. He had started to spend his days and nights by himself, not speaking to anyone. Not even Halfdan.
"You can't avoid him forever," Lagertha says, when she joins her son. "Do you think he blames you for his brother's death?"
"He should. I did kill Harald."
"Because he was going to kill him, Bjorn. You had no choice. If you hadn't killed him, he would have…"
"I know that," Bjorn snaps, and his mother can hear the fear in his voice.
"You would have lost him."
"Yes."
"But you will lose him too, if you go on like this," Lagertha says, and she looks out at Halfdan, who is sitting by the fire with Ubbe, Torvi and the children. "I don't think he's angry with you. I think he is upset, because he has lost his brother. He could do with having a friend."
"A friend?" Bjorn asks. "Is that what you think I am to him? A friend?"
"You know what I mean," Lagertha tries, but she can see that she has said the wrong thing. That she has offended him.
"I care for him, mother. More than I have ever cared for any woman," Bjorn says. "He is more than just 'a friend'," he spits out. "He is going to be my husband."
"Your husband?"
"Yes," Bjorn says, a determined look on his face, as he looks out at Halfdan. "I know you probably think I have lost my mind, but…"
"No," Lagertha sighs, and she grabs her son's hand. "I don't think you have lost your mind, but you know that this cannot…"
"It can," Bjorn cuts her off. "I will make it happen. I will find a way."
"You remind me so much of Ragnar," Lagertha says, and her son looks at her, only to find tears in her eyes. "If this is what you truly want, then…," she sighs again. "You will have my full support."
"Can we talk?" Bjorn asks, as he catches up with Torvi, who he is just returning from bringing food and water to Margrethe.
"Sure," Torvi says, but she looks a little hesitant. Still, they sit down in the grass, away from where the others can hear them.
"You and Ubbe…"
"You have no right to…," Torvi begins, but when she sees the smile forming on her ex-husband's lips, she keeps quiet.
"All I wanted to say was that I am happy for you, both of you. You seem happy together."
"We are," Torvi says, an uncomfortable look on her face. "Ubbe is a good man."
"He is."
"So is Halfdan," Torvi then says, and she studies Bjorn's face, to see if she can continue. "Do you love him?"
"I do," Bjorn admits, before taking his ex-wife's hand in his. "But I am not going to break my promise, Torvi. I will always be there for you and the children, you are always going to be my family."
"I know. You are a good man too."
"Am I?"
"You are, Bjorn," Torvi sighs, as she stares down at their hands. "You haven't been yourself ever since we left Kattegat. What happened to you?"
"You were there, you saw what happened."
"We will find a way to defeat Ivar," Torvi says. "You know we will. But there is more to this. Is this about Halfdan? Because of what happened to Harald? Imagine if it had been you, if he had killed Ivar to protect you. Do you wish he would be feeling guilty for it?"
"No."
"You did what you had to do, Bjorn. You saved his life. Because you love him."
"What if…"
"Tell me," Torvi says, and Bjorn can't help but smile at the determination, the strength in her voice. It is exactly that determination, that strength, that made him fall in love with her. That makes him hope he will never lose her.
"What if I want to marry him?"
"Marry him?" Torvi asks, before letting out a long sigh. "Will we get to be there? The children, me?"
"You don't think it's impossible?"
"I am sure you will find a way," Torvi says, a small, hesitant smile on her face. "What did Lagertha say?"
"That I remind her of my father."
"I have to agree with her on that." Torvi smiles, before resting her head on his shoulder. "He was a good man too."
Halfdan has been watching from a distance, as Rollo and Bjorn have been talking to each other. Rollo had come over to where they are hiding, and he had discussed something with Lagertha, before dragging Bjorn off to talk to him in private. Halfdan doesn't trust him, not after the way he had betrayed them all, after the way he had betrayed Ragnar. Now that he is here, it makes Halfdan feel like they are about to be betrayed all over again. So he is keeping an eye on Rollo and Bjorn, trying to make out what they are talking about, but he is too far away to hear them, and it makes him nervous.
But when Bjorn gets up, an angry look on his face, he knows that it wasn't a friendly family conversation. Bjorn marches away from his uncle, so Halfdan goes after him, even though they haven't truly spoken since arriving at this place. But he can't leave him on his own, not like this.
"What did he have to say?"
"He is offering us safe passage," Bjorn explains, the rage almost radiating from his body.
"Why?"
"Because I'm his son, and he wants me to live," Bjorn spits out.
"His son?" Halfdan asks, not understanding what Bjorn is trying to say. "Ragnar is your father, is he not?"
"He is."
"Then why…?" Halfdan begins, but then he nods. "There is a chance he could be your father?"
"Ragnar is my father. Rollo has no right to…" Bjorn spits out, but then he stops himself. "I am Ragnar's son."
"And Rollo?"
"Is nothing to me. He is a traitor. He betrayed my father, and now he has betrayed us. He is dead to me!"
"Come here," Halfdan says, and he takes Bjorn in his arms, hoping to calm his rage. At first Bjorn tries to free himself from Halfdan's grip, but when he feels the warmth of his body, the comfort of being held by him, after such a long time, he feels something breaking inside of him.
"I have missed you, Halfdan," he whispers, as he brings his mouth up to Halfdan's ear.
"I haven't gone anywhere."
"Can you forgive me, for what I…"
"For saving my life?" Halfdan asks, Bjorn's lips brushing past the skin of his ear. "There is nothing to forgive, Bjorn. Now go and tell your family about Rollo's offer."
"Will you come with me?"
"Of course."