A/N: Surprise! I'm just going to randomly drop chapters of this story when you least expect it until it's complete.

Hope you enjoy this one. Big thanks to the amazing BiscuitsForPotter for looking this over for me!

"Hermione, you're evil."

"You should have seen his face, Ginny. I'm honestly surprised he didn't scream at me." Hermione laughed as she speared a crouton with her fork and brought it to her lips. "He's much more well behaved than he was in school."

"I'm impressed that he didn't call things off then and there," Parvati mused before taking a sip from her glass. Hermione normally spent her Saturdays at her flat or running errands, but she'd agreed to get lunch with Ginny and Parvati to fill them in on her latest date with Malfoy and get ideas for the upcoming days.

Hermione shrugged. "Well, he hasn't reached out yet."

"You should reach out to him. He Floo called you yesterday. I think it's within your rights to contact him first this time." Ginny's eyes were alight with mischief.

"He's working today, I'll owl him after he gets off."

"Or," Ginny began, reaching across the table to grab hold of Hermione's forearm with a smirk, "you could visit him while he's at work. He's an Auror, right? He'll probably hate having some bird interrupt his busy day of fighting crime."

"That's very misogynistic." Hermione frowned.

Ginny shrugged. "All I know is what I've noticed from visiting Harry. There are several female Aurors, yes, but it's still a bit of a boys' club. And I saw the way everyone looked at me and Harry when I went to bring him lunch last week. Like he was whipped or something… or like I was inconveniencing the entire department just by being there."

Hermione scoffed, stabbing some lettuce and a tomato. "I don't have time to go down to the Ministry today."

Parvati piped up. "You could just Floo call him. Not with anything important to say, just tell him you miss him and share some story about your day. Something you know he won't care about at all."

"Tell him you had lunch with us. And tell him every ingredient you had in your salad." There was definitely something evil in Ginny's tone now, and Hermione had a good chuckle as she watched her friend practically bouncing in her chair.

Taking another bite of her salad, Hermione conceded. "Alright. As soon as I get home."

Draco moved an arrest report to his completed pile. Another drunk and disorderly. He'd arrested the bloke earlier in the week trying to duel with passers-by outside of the Three Broomsticks. Honestly, he'd had far too many arrests like that recently. The sooner he got this promotion and could move on to solving and preventing more serious crimes, the better. He scrubbed his hands over his face with a sigh.

"Malfoy."

The brusque voice made Draco turn. Warren stood at the entrance to his cubicle.

"Sir?"

"New intel on the Frosted Phantom. I'd like you and Parkinson to meet me in the conference room for a briefing."

Draco stood quickly and followed Warren through the bullpen to their destination. Pansy was already there, sitting straight as an arrow in one of the chairs. She smirked at him as he entered.

"How are things with Granger?"

Draco bit back a grimace as he sank into the chair next to her. "Better than I ever could have imagined, actually."

The news didn't seem to disappoint Pansy at all. In fact, she grinned even broader.

Warren entered the room, closing the door behind him. "Another heist last night." He dropped a thick file onto the conference table with a thump and then leaned forward to rest his palms on the polished surface. "Our witnesses didn't see anyone matching her description, but we know it was her. The shop had some of the most intense security enchantments I've ever seen, and none of the wards were tripped. Our eyewitness saw two men on the street, but they weren't inside the shop and apparently didn't use magic at all. And yet the diamonds disappeared without a trace."

"Certainly sounds like the Phantom." Pansy flipped the file open and glanced at the information within, forcing Draco to lean over to get a peek.

"Do we know the two men were hers?" Draco asked.

"We can't be certain, but the M.O. is the same as the other heists. Maybe they're—"

The door opened, interrupting Warren.

"Excuse me," Warren's tiny, auburn haired assistant said. "Floo call for Mr Malfoy."

"Can you take a message?" Draco grunted dismissively, barely taking his eyes off the file.

"It's Hermione Granger."

Draco looked up. The girl's eyes were wide and her mouth upturned. He glanced at Pansy and Warren. Pansy looked delighted, while Warren's face held unmistakable irritation.

"Keep it quick," Warren clipped with a grimace.

Draco stood and hurried from the room. He was mortified to see that Granger's presence had garnered a bit of a gathering around the correspondence room. As he shooed his fellow Aurors away, most of them just shook their heads.

"Not missing this, mate," Blaise murmured gleefully as Draco pushed past.

"Piss off," Draco grumbled.

"Draco!" Granger's voice was at least an octave higher than normal, and her face lit up as he came into view and knelt in front of the fireplace.

"Hi," he returned, careful to keep his voice low and gentle. "Listen, I'm in a meeting right now. Could I Floo you back in a bit?"

"Oh, I miss you, Drakey."

Draco fought a cringe as he glanced over his shoulder to see Blaise and the others barely concealing their laughter. He cleared his throat and looked back at Granger. "Erm, yeah. I miss you too. Is everything alright?"

She was acting so strangely. Perhaps this was one of those situations he'd been trained for. Maybe she was in distress and the only way she knew to tell him was to act like this. He tried to look out for any sign she was in danger, but her eyes were bright and steady on him. No hint of fear or anxiety. By all accounts she seemed to be perfectly happy.

"Of course it is. I just wanted to see you." Granger batted her eyelashes at him. "I just got back from lunch with Parvati and Ginny. I had the most delicious salad. It had lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, carrots, chicken, feta—"

"That sounds great," Draco clipped, cutting her off. "I'd love to hear all about it, but I really need to get back to my meeting."

Granger didn't seem to be paying attention to what he was saying. "Do you have plans tonight?"

"Erm, no. Why don't we get dinner? Anywhere you want." He was desperate for this conversation to end. He could feel the other Aurors staring on with judgemental amusement.

Granger's face lit up. "Dinner, really? My choice?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, I'm so excited!" Granger giggled in a nearly perfect imitation of Lavender Brown.

Draco fought a shudder. What the hell was wrong with her? "Okay, why don't you swing by my place around six?"

Granger grinned broadly. "Okay. See you!"

"Bye."

Granger's face disappeared from the fire, and Draco reluctantly turned to the grinning Aurors huddled nearby. Blaise in particular was doing a very poor job of concealing his laughter. Though he covered his mouth with his hand, his shoulders shook with amusement.

"Shut up, Blaise," Draco grumbled as he brushed soot off his hands.

Blaise held up his hands defensively. "I didn't say anything."

Draco just grimaced as he stepped out of the correspondence room. Blaise trailed after him.

"But what the fuck was that?"

Draco cast an irritated glance over his shoulder. "What was what?"

Blaise laughed. "Surely that was not Hermione Granger." He pointed towards the fireplace. "There's no way. All that giggling and baby talk. And 'Drakey'?"

Draco carded his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what to tell you. Maybe she just acts that way around blokes she's interested in. I don't fucking know."

"Surely it's driving you crazy."

Reaching the conference room, Draco paused and cast Blaise a sideways glance. "It's just eight more days." Then he opened the door and returned to the briefing, ignoring Pansy's smug grin.

Hermione decided on an expensive Muggle restaurant near the Leaky Cauldron. It was walking distance from his flat, and just happened to be a place she'd been meaning to try. She hoped that Malfoy would be too polite to complain about the choice, but would still be out of his comfort zone. When they arrived at quarter after six, she could tell that her suspicions had been correct.

Malfoy was stiff as the Muggle host showed them to their table in the dimly lit dining room. He pulled her chair out for her before taking his own seat. She smiled demurely at him over the tops of their menus.

When their waitress came over to take their drink orders, Hermione took one look at her pretty face and ample curves before knowing exactly what her plan for the evening would be. She didn't miss how Malfoy glanced at her chest as she leaned over to pour their water, or how his gaze briefly lingered on her retreating form after they ordered the wine.

To his credit, Malfoy wasn't at all obvious about his attraction to the young waitress, but it was enough for Hermione to exploit nonetheless. She smiled at him as they perused their menus. "Did you have a busy day at work?" she asked after she decided on the chicken. "You seemed tense earlier."

Malfoy took a sip of his water before answering. "I'm sorry about that. It was rather trying. Lots of reports to write."

"Were you in the field at all?"

He shook his head. "Not today, no."

"Is it dangerous when you do have to go into the field?" Hermione asked, eyes wide with concern.

Malfoy shrugged. "It can be. But I've always got my partner with me, and the department takes every precaution to keep the Aurors safe."

"I'm glad you're so careful. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you." She reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his.

Malfoy froze, his eyes shooting to hers with a curious expression, as if he couldn't quite figure her out. Then his lips quirked in a smile and he turned his hand to clasp around hers. "It's nice that you care so much. I promise I'll always be cautious."

The waitress returned with their wine. She uncorked the bottle with a smile and poured two glasses before setting the bottle on the table. "And have we decided on dinner yet, or do we need a few minutes?"

Hermione looked to Malfoy who nodded and closed his menu, waving for her to go ahead.

"I think I'll have the chicken with wild rice and broccoli. Thank you."

The waitress smiled and turned to Malfoy. "And for you?"

"How's the steak?" he asked, flashing the waitress a charming smile.

"It's one of our best dishes, if you ask me," the waitress announced, seeming pleased to be asked for her opinion.

"Then I'll have that. Potatoes and asparagus on the side."

"Great choice." The waitress grinned at Malfoy before departing.

Hermione pulled her hand from his with a frown.

"Is everything alright?" Malfoy asked.

Hermione hummed with displeasure. "I just thought you'd be able to have a meal with me for a couple of hours without flirting with our waitress, but apparently I was wrong."

"I— What? Flirting?"

"You can't spend two minutes talking to an attractive woman without undressing her with your eyes!" Hermione let her voice grow louder, drawing the attention of a few nearby diners.

"I wasn't—" Malfoy glanced around, obviously uncomfortable about the amount of attention they were gathering.

"Oh, so now you think I'm stupid? Like I can't tell when you're checking someone out?"

Malfoy leaned closer, his eyes pleading. "Can you please lower your voice?"

"Just tell me why you were looking at her." Hermione's voice was getting high, bordering on hysterical. She hated herself for causing such a scene, but knew that it would humiliate Malfoy.

A robust man at the next table turned in their direction with a scowl. "Excuse me, could you keep it down?"

"Could you mind your own business?" Hermione snapped right back at the man.

Eyes wide, Malfoy held up a hand to Hermione and turned to the man. "I'm sorry." Then he turned back to Hermione and leaned closer still, lowering his voice. "I was only looking at her," he began, his grey eyes boring into hers, "because I was thinking about how she couldn't hold a candle to you."

Hermione stilled, trying to assess what she should do next. She could claim not to believe him and continue yelling, or…

She softened, taking her voice up an octave. "Aww… Drakey!" She grinned and reached across the table to place her hands on top of his. "That's so sweet," she preened, batting her eyelashes at him. She moved her chair, pulling it around the table and intentionally letting it hit the robust man at the next table. She sat down next to Malfoy and looped her arm through his, leaning in to rest her head on his shoulder. "I love sharing this with you."

Malfoy was stiff, and before he could reply, Hermione's chair was jostled roughly as the man at the next table pushed himself to his feet.

"Would you two mind? We're trying to have a nice evening out."

Hermione twisted in her chair, scowling at the man. "So are we. Leave us alone before my boyfriend decides to kick your arse."

The man was nearly purple in the face as he towered over their table. He turned his eyes to Malfoy. "You need to control your bird. She's a mouthy bitch."

Hermione's mouth dropped open as Malfoy stood abruptly and pointed menacingly at the man. "Listen, you can talk to me like that, but not a lady. Now, I think you should apologise so we can all return to our meals."

"She's the one runnin' her mouth all night."

"And yet you're the one causing a scene, so I think it's best if you just—"

Whack.

Hermione let out a yelp as the man's beefy fist collided with Malfoy's cheekbone. He fell backwards, tripping over his chair and stumbling to the floor.

As two male waiters came over to apprehend the robust man, Hermione rushed to Malfoy's side. "Draco, are you alright?"

He hissed in pain as he gingerly touched his cheekbone just below his eye. "Merlin's bollocks," he grumbled under his breath.

Hermione gently pulled him up, cradling his head against her chest. His arm wrapped around her, holding tight to her waist.

"We should get you out of here so I can patch you up," Hermione fretted, ghosting her fingers over his face to examine him more closely.

Nearby, the violent man was being escorted from the restaurant as the staff tried to control the commotion. An older woman wearing all black knelt next to Hermione and Malfoy. "I'm so sorry, sir. Is there anything I can get you? Ice, perhaps?"

Malfoy shook his head gently with a grimace. "No, I think I'm alright."

"If it's not too much trouble, we'd like to get the food we ordered to go," Hermione requested.

The woman nodded. "Of course. And as an apology for the incident, your meal this evening will be complimentary."

Hermione smiled. "That's very kind. Thank you."

"I'll get everything taken care of and bring out your food." The woman hurried away.

Hermione turned her attention back to Malfoy. His eyes were closed and he groaned softly. "Draco, are you alright?"

"Shh…" he coaxed quietly, nestling his cheek against her chest.

"I really think I should take a closer look." She shifted, ready to stand and help him to his feet.

"Wait," he urged, his hands tightening on her to hold her in place. He moved his face slowly, pressing against her breasts until a laugh bubbled out of her lips.

"Draco!" She scolded through her laughter. He chuckled as she pulled away and gave him a playful shove. "You're fine. Merlin, you're incorrigible." She stood and helped pull him to his feet. "Come on, slugger."

Malfoy grinned at her as he righted himself. His eye was already swelling a bit, purple blooming under the skin on his cheekbone. Guilt unfurled in Hermione's belly. He'd taken that punch because of her actions. She'd have to go easy on him for the rest of the night.

After their food was brought out, all wrapped up and ready to go, they left and walked the two blocks back to the Leaky Cauldron before Apparating to Malfoy's flat. Hermione rifled through his medicine cabinet while he set up the food at the dining table and put everything under stasis charms.

Finding a salve, Hermione made her way back and sat next to Draco on the couch.

"I'm so sorry about this." It was one of the only genuine things she'd said all evening. She gently dabbed the salve on the darkening circle around his eye.

He winced. "You're not the one who punched me."

"I still feel like it was my fault."

Malfoy smirked. "What kind of man would I be if I didn't defend my date's honour?"

Hermione capped the salve and wiped her hands off on a cloth. "Well, let it be known to all that Draco Malfoy is nothing if not chivalrous."

With a grin, he gently trailed his fingers up and down her back.

Deciding that he deserved a bit of tenderness, Hermione leaned in and brushed her lips against his. He pulled her close until their bodies were flush, and swept his tongue through her mouth.

"We should eat," she murmured against his lips.

"Later," he sighed, pulling her back in.

The next day, Draco was thankfully off work. He got lunch with Blaise and Theo in a little pub in Diagon Alley.

"Ouch," Blaise remarked when he saw Draco's black eye. Luckily, the salve had helped to lessen to bruising, but it was still quite blue. "What did you do to get Granger to hit you this time?"

"Actually it was some bloke at the restaurant we went to. A real charmer."

"That woman might be the death of you," Theo remarked, shaking his head as he sipped from his Butterbeer.

"Yes, well the punch wasn't so fun, but getting taken care of afterwards was… pretty nice, actually."

Blaise's eyebrows jumped. "Oh really? Granger play nurse, did she?" His smirk seemed extra wicked today. "That's creating a mental image that's sure to keep me up at night in the best way."

"Yeah, it wasn't too bad."

"So, I guess you two…" Theo raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Draco shook his head. "No, mate. She left after dinner. I'm a gentleman, remember?"

Blaise laughed. "We all know that you're not."

With a chuckle, Draco shrugged. "Maybe, but for the purposes of this bet, I am a gentleman. And it's working. Granger's head over heels."

"So when are you seeing her again?"

"Tonight. I offered to have her for dinner at mine to make up for last night's dinner getting interrupted."

"You're cooking?" Theo raised a skeptical brow.

Draco scoffed. "Hardly. My mother said she'd be happy to let me borrow her house-elf for the night. The lamb is a speciality of Tippy's."

"I've had that lamb," Blaise hummed with a nod. "Make sure you've changed your sheets. Granger's going to love you after that dinner."

Draco winked. "That's the plan."

Hermione arrived at Malfoy's flat at half six with her beaded bag slung over her shoulder. "Hi!" she called as she exited the Floo and brushed soot from her skirt.

Malfoy peeked out from the kitchen. "Hello." He came forward with a glass of wine and handed it to her, kissing her cheek and letting his eyes roam over her dress. "Dinner will be ready soon. You look beautiful."

Blushing, Hermione took a sip of the wine. "Thank you. Could I use your loo?"

"Yes, of course." Malfoy gestured to the washroom door before heading back into the kitchen.

Once inside the bathroom, Hermione opened her beaded bag. She pulled out a variety of frilly pink hand towels and doilies and arranged them throughout the room. Then, she opened up the medicine cabinet and added a few items: Sleekeazies, a few beauty potions, some makeup items, and some feminine hygiene products.

Satisfied, she left the loo and went to Malfoy's bedroom. Moving as quickly as she could, she spread a pink throw and a few decorative pillows on his bed and spritzed a bit of her perfume. In the living room, she added a few pillows to his couch, some useless decorations to his coffee table, and two teddy bears holding hands which she placed on the love seat.

When Malfoy returned from the kitchen, Hermione smiled at him from the couch and sipped her wine, pretending not to notice when his eyes settled on the pillows and teddy bears with shock. She was surprised when he didn't comment on them at all. He just smiled and said, "Dinner's served."

Hermione joined him at the dining table, sinking into her chair when he pulled it out for her. Then, to her surprise, a small house-elf marched in from the kitchen with a large platter of roasted lamb. It was dressed in a tiny, yellow sundress with embroidered white daisies. Her large, green eyes were bright on Hermione as she placed the platter on the table and began filling their plates. Then, with a bow in Malfoy's direction, it retreated back to the kitchen.

"This is one of Tippy's specialities," Malfoy announced as he placed his napkin in his lap and picked up his fork.

Hermione stared at the food. It looked and smelled delicious, and by the way Malfoy eyed his plate, she knew he was looking forward to tucking in.

Her lip quivered and she covered her eyes with her hands as if suddenly overwhelmed with emotion.

"What is it?" Malfoy asked, genuine concern in his tone.

"It's nothing," she sniffed, wiping her eyes of her fake tears. "It's lovely. You're lovely. I just…"

Malfoy reached out and placed his hand over hers.

"I just can't eat a meal prepared by a house-elf."

His eyes went wide and he looked between her and their food several times. "But—"

"I just can't. I'm sorry."

Malfoy pulled his hand away from hers, his jaw clenching in obvious irritation.

Hermione rushed to suggest an alternative. "I know a little place that doesn't use elf labour. I'll even pay. I'm just so sorry about this misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding," he droned, as if it were amusing to him. "Yes, of course. We'll go out. But I don't want to hear another word about you paying. It's my treat, as always."

Granger chose a magical restaurant this time, albeit a tiny one. He had never even been to this area of Diagon Alley, and he wondered how Granger had found this place. It only fit ten small tables packed closely together, and the lights were dim. They got their food, and while Draco couldn't find fault with the beef stew he ordered, it was a far cry from the meal Tippy had prepared.

Granger got a salad, and though it looked perfectly palatable to Draco, she pushed it around on her plate petulantly.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

Granger just hummed and nodded, but kept her eyes downcast.

A few minutes later, the waiter came over.

"Miss, is there anything wrong with your salad?"

Granger looked up solemnly and shook her head. "Oh, no. It's just—" Her chin quivered. Then, without warning, she dropped her fork onto her plate with a clatter and cried out, "My boyfriend thinks I'm stupid!"

Draco blinked, shocked as every eye in the restaurant turned to him. "What? I don't—"

Granger burst into tears. "I'm sorry!" Before he could stop her, she darted from the table and retreated to the loo.

Looking around at the glares he was getting, Draco spoke loudly. "I don't think she's stupid."

The waiter just scowled at him and walked away. It took several seconds for the other patrons of the restaurant to return to their meals, and even then Draco was sure that most of them were discussing Granger's outburst.

She didn't return for several minutes. She sat down at the table with perfect poise and tucked into her meal as if nothing had happened.

Afraid that she might have another outburst in public, Draco didn't say anything about what had happened. He just ate as quickly as he could in the hopes of them avoiding more unwanted attention.

After dinner, Draco escorted Granger back to his place. They stepped through the front door and she smiled at him. "Well, that was fun."

Fun? Had she gone to an entirely different dinner than he had? No part of this evening could even remotely be called fun.

"Do you really think that I think you're stupid?" he asked as he shut the door.

Granger's eyes widened. She twisted her hands together fretfully. "I just… You gave me such a look earlier with the food your house-elf made. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause such a scene."

Draco loosened his tie. "I just don't understand how you could ever think that anyone thought you were stupid. I know as well as anyone just how clever you are."

Granger smiled at him, stepping closer and placing her hand on his chest. "You think I'm clever?"

He scoffed. "You're Hermione Granger. You are clever. Only a fool would say otherwise."

"That's sweet." She stood on tiptoe and kissed him gently. "Well, I'd better get going." She tapped his nose with one finger before stepping away. "Thanks for dinner, honey." With a wave, she picked up her bag and stepped into the Floo.

Draco scrubbed his hands over his face. The woman was mental. Possibly bordering on psychotic. He couldn't take her to Quidditch games, and it was clear after tonight that he couldn't take her to restaurants. Perhaps he would just have to keep her in private from now on. He wondered if he could get away with doing that for a week.

Hermione dropped her bag and kicked off her heels by the couch. After that disastrous date, she was all but certain that Malfoy would be dumping her. She couldn't wait to crawl into bed, but she planned to write down all of her notes from the date first so that she remembered everything for her article.

"Granger."

Hermione jumped and turned to see Malfoy's head in her fireplace. She quickly plastered on a smile. Maybe this was the breakup conversation she'd been waiting on.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked.

What? Was he mad?

Hermione grinned. "Really?"

He nodded, and Hermione was more confused than ever.

She giggled. "Of course."

"Okay." Malfoy smiled, and damn, he was charming. "I'll owl you."

Hermione nodded excitedly.

"Okay," he repeated, as if he didn't know what else to say. "Good night."

"Bye, sweetie!"

Malfoy's head disappeared leaving Hermione standing in her quiet living room, bewildered. How could he possibly still be interested in her after causing a scene at two restaurants, denying him an incredible elf-made meal, making him miss the end of the Quidditch game, and all the baby talk?

Frustrated, she ran her fingers through her hair. She would just have to up the ante tomorrow. By the end of the week, Malfoy would be running for the hills.

A/N: No update schedule, but I am actively working on this one again!

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