Author's Note:

This chapter references No Exit - Season 5, Episode 20.

Bartlet Family Farm 6.45pm

As the car rolled out of the Bartlet compound, Donna studied Josh. He sat with his cell phone in his left hand and his right hand resting on his knee; lost in thought as he looked out the window.

She pushed back against the headrest and closed her eyes.

"Have you been able to think about anything specific it could be at Josh's end?"

The care and genuine concern in his voice was palpable, and ignited a sense of unease in the pit of her stomach.

"There was such a disconnect between us for a while, Danny .."

"And I wasn't around when whatever this is was unfolding, so I have no frame of reference either."

She could visualize him running a hand through his hair in frustration as he spoke.

"Is this making you uncomfortable?" she asked.

"Talking about our spouses behind their backs?"

"Yes."

"I'm filing it under the banner of 'support they don't even realize they need'. I'm sure someone somewhere would qualify that as the ultimate definition of love."

"How about a dinner together while we're in New Hampshire in a couple of weeks?"

"For the library thing?"

"Yes."

"If CJ weren't breastfeeding I'd suggest getting them drunk and baiting them into a food fight. Although, under the circumstances. I'm not sure that 'Chief of Staff and Ex-Chief of Staff duke it out with battered shrimp' is the kind of headline you'd want to see in the next morning's papers."

Donna laughed out loud at the idea.

"Hold onto that thought until we come out to California. Maybe you and I can get in on the action, too. For now let's just stick to a nice place? With tablecloths? The kind of place one needs to dress up for?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'll be in touch."

"Great. And if you think of anything before then .."

"I'll let you know."

Only she hadn't, and the sense of unease had taken up residence again.

Her mother had told her once that it was easy to fall into the trap of believing you should share everything with your partner; that there were some things better left unsaid, because the ripple effect would be out of your control. And Donna had seen this with her own eyes over the years. People on the outs with their significant other, who had turned to family and friends for support. They'd cross-shared when the relationship had resumed, and feelings had been ruffled; in a few cases even badly hurt. Some of the ancillary relationships had never totally recovered.

She looked over at Josh again and, for the third or fourth time since her epiphany, worried about whether she was more than a little responsible for the rift between him and CJ. The thought sat no better with her now than it had when it came to her.

The first time she'd mentioned the conversation that had taken place between her and CJ, the night they'd been segregated in her office together, had been during transition. It hadn't been much more than a sound bite and she'd thought better of it, even minimized it, the moment it left her mouth. Josh had seemed to be listening with one ear - for which she had been inordinately grateful.

But he hadn't been listening with one ear as it turned out, and they had revisited the topic on their honeymoon. Drifting on the endorphins of a particularly emotional post-coital haze, they'd reminisced about their history as couples are wont to do. Unsurprisingly, they'd found themselves in Gaza territory. He had asked questions about the conversation with CJ that night, and she'd been so touched that he'd held on to that sliver of information from years back, so busy basking in the warmth of his love for her, that she'd forgotten her mother's advice and told him everything.

At the time, riding that wave of closeness, it had seemed like the natural thing to do. Now she wasn't so sure she'd done him - or CJ - any favours.

She reached out and ran her thumb across his knuckles. Broken out of his thoughts, Josh transferred the phone to his other hand, took hold of hers and pressed a kiss to it.

"Looking forward to seeing them?" he asked.

"I am. We've never actually done this before."

"Unless you count wedding rehearsal dinners."

"I don't count those. It was never just the four of us."

"It feels a little weird, doesn't it?"

"Does it?"

Josh rotated his shoulder blades and cracked his neck before saying, "I don't know, she's so .. far removed now from what I've always known about her."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I guess not."

"The feeling I get from Danny is that the old CJ has resurfaced."

Josh gave her a smile which bordered on wistful.

"Yeah .." he said as he went back to looking out of the window.