Chapter 3:
Jasper knew that he wasn't the best person. He knew that he wasn't even an actual person. Technically speaking, he was a monster. And that was hardly self-hatred of any kind speaking, just simply an accurate representation of his nature as a vampiric being. But, Jasper had spent several years now working on bettering himself and he thought that may have deserved some sort of recognition. He knew he wasn't the strongest of them all when it came to controlling his thirst. He knew that his regard and compassion toward the majority of the human race could use some work. He knew that he still had a long way to go before he could even mirror a fragment of his "adoptive" father's humanity. Despite all of this, Jasper knew he wasn't a bad person, so to speak, and that was why he couldn't fathom, for the life of him, why the world decided that the best thing it could possibly do for him was send him a soul mate in the form of the human known as Lainie Cortes.
The human girl was an enigma if Jasper ever knew one.
She was a human and she shouldn't have even been anything special, but that is precisely why Jasper felt so especially tortured these days. She shouldn't have been anything special, but she was and he didn't know why.
Rationally speaking, Lainie Cortes was a relatively ordinary girl. She was pretty enough for a human girl. Smart enough. Even interesting enough. The problem Jasper was having was that the more time he spent near Lainie, even just sitting next to her in class, the less rational he could force himself to be.
If Jasper could stop lying to himself, he would say that Lainie wasn't just pretty enough for a human… she was the prettiest human he had ever laid eyes on. She wasn't just enough of anything. She surpassed his every expectation and Jasper knew that if he could force himself to not ruin her life with his affliction, she would go on to do great things with her life.
But again, if Jasper could stop lying to himself, he would understand that maybe the reason the world had brought them together at this exact point in time was because he and his mate needed something only the other could provide.
Unfortunately, it would be a while before Jasper would ever admit to needing something from a human.
It had been well over two months since Lainie's first day at Forks High and Jasper was getting somewhat restless with the emotions his mate exhibited. As someone with several psychology degrees, and of course the added benefit of being an empath, Jasper had made the astute observation that something was incredibly off with Lainie.
She put on a wonderful show, he'd give her that much credit, but emotions don't lie and the levels of anger, regret, and sheer paranoia that lived within her were becoming more and more concerning the more attached Jasper became to Lainie. Even when she was in a better mood, though rare as they may be, her negative emotions lingered beneath, practically inescapable. He had initially tried to hide from Edward and Alice how much he was actually bothered by her emotional state, but their abilities made that feat rather difficult.
Edward had offered many times to keep a close eye on her thoughts for him, but Jasper adamantly refused. He invaded her privacy enough by just being privy to her internal anguish. Her emotions were very rarely displayed plainly on her face, but even when they were, she quickly pushed them aside and hid them below the mask of a very pretty, but fake smile.
Jasper had taken to discreetly watching Lainie while she sat with her friends at their own lunch table. Her emotions had become so familiar to him that he could easily pick them out in a room full of emotional teenagers. Alice and Edward knew of this back and forth with himself, but it was only today that it was brought up again by Alice. She, too, had been growing restless, but only with her own brother.
"Maybe you should talk to her." suggested Alice, "Your friendship will go a very long way with her."
"Or maybe," Rosalie interrupted before he had even opened his mouth to speak, "since you're so invested in what is going on in this girl's life, just get her alone, push a few waves of honesty toward her and she'll tell you all you're wanting to know. Then, once you realize she's just another melodramatic, angsty teenager, you can stop being so interested in her and we can all move on with our damn lives."
"That's a sure fire way of telling her there is something different about us, don't you think, Rose?" Alice rolled her eyes dramatically. "I figured you out of all of us would be so opposed to such a technique, given the fact that it could expose us."
"And you think Jasper becoming friends with the human gives us a better chance?"
"She is his mate. She will be told eventually and then she will be turned. No laws will be broken."
"Alice, please stop. It won't get that far. It can't." Jasper never intended on telling Lainie the truth about himself, seeing as he actually had to talk to her for that to happen. He had been avoiding conversation with her since the end of their project. Jasper, however, couldn't deny that the mate bond was present. He just never intended to act on it.
"Why not, Jas? You deserve to be happy, too. You both do." Alice paused for a moment before continuing. "Tell me what she's feeling right now."
Jasper didn't even need to have a visual on Lainie to tell Alice what she was wanting to know. He'd become so attuned to her emotions, so attuned to her overall, that he could pick them out in the most crowded of rooms.
"She's in pain. She's scared and she feels like she's suffocating."
"She has a smile on her face." Alice was driving the point home. She'd always been good at that.
"It's fake."
"And what does that tell you, Jasper?"
Jasper opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Edward. "She's thinking about her parents."
"Edward." Jasper growled warningly.
"Didn't she say that her parents died in a car accident?" He continued, warning unheeded.
"I believe that is what was told to the office staff. Now get out of her head, Edward."
Again, Edward did not listen.
"So why did she just think about her parents being murdered? And why did she just refer to herself as 'Nic'?"
Even Rosalie, who had begun disinterestedly picking at her nails, a distinctly human gesture, looked up, interested.
It was 4:33 AM and Lainie was back in the gym after a particularly disturbing nightmare.
She had been back in her childhood home, but things had played out a little differently this time around. Nobody had called the police upon hearing her scream. She was sitting on her living room floor, clutching the bodies of her parents, but she hadn't been alone in the room this time. In the corner of the room had been a silhouette of a man. At first, he hadn't moved, but then he slowly began taking slow steps toward Lainie and into the light. She had woken up screaming upon seeing the face of her English teacher, Mr. Jeffries, charging toward her.
Not knowing what her parent's murderer actually looked like was starting to take a toll on her.
She'd been punching the bag for so long that her arms were starting to feel like jelly. At this rate, she'd be looking like a boxing champ in no time, although that wasn't really a look she thought she could pull off.
Lainie sat down on the bench and took a long sip from her water bottle. Her lungs burned from the exertion, but the physical pain she felt did its job in masking the emotional pain.
She had half a mind to continue, but she knew there were only so many times Rey could catch her down there before she physically forced her into an environment "more conducive to her mental and physical well-being" (i.e., therapy). So, she quietly made her way back up the stairs and began preparing herself for the school day ahead of her.
Seeing as she still had a few hours until the start of the day, Lainie took her time getting ready: fixing her hair, doing her make-up, and picking out an outfit. All things that used to calm her down in her days as Nicolette Ríos.
Unfortunately, these things didn't have the same effect they once did. She looked at herself in the mirror and all she saw was a stranger. She hated it.
She wanted to run to the store and pick up a box of pastel blue dye. She wanted to tweeze the shit out of her eyebrows until all the stray hairs were gone. She wanted to put in her contacts and stomp on the thick-framed glasses until they were nothing but broken plastic and glass beneath her feet.
She knew she couldn't do any of those things. First, she wasn't allowed to be that girl anymore, for her own safety. Second, she knew that it didn't matter what she looked like or even what she wore anymore. Her situation was still going to be the same. Her parents were dead, and there was not a single thing in the world that was going to change that.
Realistically, she didn't really care about any of that stuff. How petty would she have to be to care so much about her appearance when that was the least of what she had lost?
What Lainie really cared about was the control. She didn't have any of that anymore.
She never knew what she wanted out of life before all of this happened, but her parents had instilled in her from a young age that with the right amount of perseverance and dedication, she could amount to whatever she wanted to be and she could have whatever she wanted to have.
She knew now that that was a bold-faced lie. No amount of perseverance or dedication was going to get her her old life back. Circumstances were just as important as determination, and while the circumstances may have been in her favor all those months ago, they weren't now.
She had taken for granted her old life: all the control she had to be whoever or whatever she wanted to be was gone now and of course, as life tends to go, she only realized what she really wanted when it was no longer within reach.
Everything she had taken for granted: baking flan with her mom, trips to Home Depot with her dad, listening to old school jams in the car with her friends, the overall mediocrity of her life (which really wasn't mediocre at all, she now realized). She just wanted that back, but it was too late for that now and she needed to come to terms with it, if only to gain back some of that control she'd lost.
Lainie took one last glance in the mirror, hating what she saw, but moving on anyway. At the very least she could control not being late to school.
"Hold on a minute. She referred to herself as 'Nic'? Are you sure she wasn't thinking about someone else?"
"That's what you're choosing to focus on?" Edward raised an eyebrow, "She thought about her parents being murdered. Isn't that cause for speculation, too? And no, she was talking about herself."
"Of course it is," Jasper snapped, "but you and I both know that murder can be open to interpretation. If her parents were killed a car accident and the other driver were to have been at fault for the accident, she could be considering it a murder in very loose terms, hence her referring to their death as a murder."
"It wasn't a car accident, Jasper." Jasper froze, not having expected that response. Edward opened his mouth to describe the grizzly image that had passed through her mind only moments prior but Jasper quickly cut him off.
"This isn't any of our business. We've never concerned ourselves with humans before. Why start now?" Jasper gave Edward a pointed look, which Edward chose to ignore. What was happening between he and Bella was not any of Jasper's business.
"You've already concerned yourself with her." Damn Edward, he just didn't want to be the only one pining after a human, Jasper thought sourly. Edward gave him a dirty look, but didn't deny the accusation.
"She's your mate, Jasper." Alice spoke softly, putting a hand on her best friend's arm. "Don't you want to know that she's okay?"
"Of course I do, Alice, but if she's lied about her parents dying in a car accident, and possibly about her name, don't you think that whatever is going on in her life can only get worse with our involvement? I can't help her in the way that you think I can."
"That's where you're wrong."
"Did you see something?"
"No, I haven't." Alice said, frustrated. "I just have faith that you can help that broken girl heal. I know you're the only one really capable of it." With that, Alice picked up her tray and strolled gracefully out of the cafeteria, leaving Jasper with a lot to think about.
"Lainie's cool, Jasper. Or Nic, whatever her name is. If Alice thinks you can help her get better, it's worth a shot, bro. Nobody deserves to be that sad all the time." Trust Emmett to say the least, but have the most resonating impact.
He didn't want Laine, or Nic, to continue feeling the way she felt. Jasper remembered the couple of sessions they had together and how peaceful she had felt conversing with him. The pain had still been there, but it had been dulled, and she had smiled so brilliantly at him a few times. He knew that if he'd had a heartbeat, it would have stuttered at the sight of the genuine smile gracing her face.
Maybe Alice was right. Maybe it was time he stop being so stubborn and let fate take its course.
Lainie was already sat at their shared desk when Jasper walked into their history class.
"Good afternoon, Lainie."
"Hey, Jasper." She went back to playing with the sleeve of her sweater, folding it, unfolding it, and repeating the process. He didn't need to be an empath to understand that her fidgeting indicated that she was anxious about something.
"Did you have a good weekend?" Lainie was a bit startled. While they had gotten along really well during their project meetings, Jasper had distanced himself upon its completion, and while Lainie had been a bit hurt in the beginning, she figured it was for the best. The less people she was friends with, the less people she had to lie to. So, him opening up an actual conversation between the two was a bit of a surprise.
"Uh, yeah, it was okay. Just did some homework and worked out a bit. Yours?" She'd also had a pretty bad breakdown, but she couldn't really divulge that to Jasper.
"My family and I went camping up in the mountains, so that was pretty fun considering we do it often enough." And by camping, Jasper meant hunting, but of course he couldn't tell that to Lainie.
"Sounds exciting." Lainie smiled and went back to her fidgeting.
Jasper sighed. He didn't think it'd be this difficult to have a conversation with Lainie, seeing as she had been talkative enough during their project meetings. Upon closer analysis of her emotions, however, Jasper realized that she was a lot more bothered today than usual. He decided it best to leave her alone for the rest of the period and gauge where she was emotionally by the end of the class.
Lainie felt bad about giving Jasper the cold shoulder, but her morning had been far from pleasant, and then sitting with her "friends" at lunch only further reminded her of how out of place she was in this environment. Her friends had been worried about possibly having to cancel their beach trip that weekend (as if the consistently declining temperatures shouldn't have been enough of a deterrence in their plan-making), and she found herself again longing for the simplicity of her old life. It was the smallest of things that set her off these days and she had to force herself to get her shit together before she had a proper breakdown in front of her peers.
The class period flew by and soon Lainie found herself packing up her bag, eager to get gym done and over with.
Jasper, apparently, had not given up on his endeavor to socialize with her because he fell into step with her as she exited the classroom.
"I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch together tomorrow?" There, he had done it. He'd ripped off the band-aid, as the humans liked to say. The ball was in her court now. If she rejected his invitation at least he could tell Alice that he had tried. A part of Jasper was hoping that she wouldn't decline his invitation. But only a really small part.
She gave him an odd look and before she could stop herself, she asked, "Why?"
Now Jasper was visibly uncomfortable, not having expected that sort of response from her. He opened his mouth to speak, but she let out a small sigh.
"I'm so sorry, that came out a lot ruder than I intended it to."
"That's quite alright, I just really enjoyed working on our project together and was interested in getting to know you better. If that is something that you may be interested in…" Jasper trailed off. He had never felt this awkward in his life. Was this what being a human in the twenty-first century was meant to feel like?
Lainie didn't really know whether or not that was something she was interested in. Being around her current group of friends had taken a lot of getting used to and she wasn't sure if she was up for the initial semi-awkwardness that typically accompanied hanging out with someone new. However, she did recall how easy it was talking to him when they had met up those few times for their project, so she couldn't really use that as an excuse to decline his invitation. Although, having lunch with him would mean she'd get to avoid her friends further discussing the beach trip that weekend, and she also wouldn't have to listen to them nagging her about not going. She didn't know if she could bare the sight of a beach so soon. While the beaches in the overcast Pacific Northwest were bound to be completely different from the beaches back home in the typically sunny Miami Beach, the premise was still the same, so she figured it'd be best to avoid anything that could trigger any more pain than what she already felt on the daily.
Despite not really wanting to interact with other humans any more than was necessary, one look into Jasper's eyes had her agreeing to lunch with him. He had looked extremely nervous with her reaction and how long it had taken her to think through and respond, but his eyes had held the tiniest glimmer of hope and Lainie would have felt like a monster stomping that light out.
"Your family won't mind you ditching them?"
"No, they're actually the ones who've encouraged me to interact more with my peers. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but we don't really talk to very many people around here." He hadn't been planning on saying that, but talking with humans, especially one that was meant to be his mate, was unprecedented for him.
She had noticed, so now Lainie was beyond curious, and more than slightly panicked. As far as she knew, she hadn't done anything to warrant the attention of the ever elusive Cullens. Especially Jasper, who always seemed to be pained with the mere presence of his peers, which she had attributed to social anxiety. If there was anything she was doing to separate herself from the rest of the student body, she needed to know so that she could stomp out that behavior immediately.
"So what makes me so special?" She laughed awkwardly, hoping it didn't sound as arrogant as she thought it did.
"I'm not sure, but I'd like to find out, if you'd let me." Lies. He knew of one reason why she was so special, but he had a feeling she wouldn't let him find out the other reasons quite so easily.
He wouldn't have been wrong. Lainie had no intention of ever letting him find out the truth about who she was.
She let out another laugh, this one much less awkward than the last. "I'm honestly pretty boring, but I'm down to have lunch with you anyway and give you some proper proof."
"Well, I do look forward to an extremely boring lunch with you tomorrow." Jasper smirked, his southern twang becoming only slightly more evident with the playfulness in his tone.
"I'll hold you to that."
"See you tomorrow, Lainie." And with one last blinding smile, Jasper walked away.
"See you tomorrow, Jasper." Lainie spoke softly, still slightly stunned by his smile, regardless of the fact that he was now out of sight and would not have heard her.
Jasper walked to class with a rare, easy smile on his face. Maybe letting fate take its course wouldn't turn out so bad after all.
"I cannot believe that you, out of all of us, are out there fraternizing with a human." Rosalie, of course, was the only one of his family that was bothered by Jasper's actions. No surprise there. He knew her concerns were not born out of actual malice, but more concern for their family, so he didn't really blame her for the harsh words coming out her mouth. Jasper wisely chose to ignore her instead.
"I can't wait until you and her start hanging out! Maybe you could bring her over one day, Jas? I'd love to meet her." Alice was probably more excited about their upcoming lunch date than Jasper was. The one thing Alice struggled with the most about their lifestyle was the decision to refrain from interacting with most humans. She was naturally a social being, and the idea of having somebody new to talk to and hang out with was the most exciting prospect for her.
"It's just lunch, Alice. Who's to say that it's even going to go beyond that? Let's just take it one day at a time."
"It's the first step, Jasper, and that's reason enough for celebrating."
"This is ridiculous, Alice." Rosalie all but growled at the much smaller vampire, only calming once Emmett pulled her into his lap.
"C'mon, Rosie. Jasper's a beast. If he can keep his cool for the other annoying humans, I'm sure he can avoid making a snack out of his mate."
Jasper rolled his eyes at Emmett's comment. Sometimes he could really just be so tactless.
"Jasper will not be making a snack out of anyone tomorrow. Everything is going to go exactly to plan."
"Oh, lovely, now there's a plan in place? Did you maybe wanna write me a script so everything goes accordingly? I wouldn't wanna disappoint." Alice only smirked at Jasper's sarcastic tone. It was a rare sight for Jasper's sardonic humor to make an appearance these days. He'd been very much toned down the last decade and Alice couldn't help but think that Lainie's appearance had come at the most opportune time.
"No, I have the utmost faith that you'll know exactly what to do and what to say when the time comes."
"You're no help at all, Alice. Haven't you noticed what a tough cookie she is? I'm gonna need all the help I can get if you're wanting a new best friend." Jasper joked, which he immediately regretted upon seeing the devious glint Alice's eyes.
"Well, if you really feel you need my help that bad…" And that was how Jasper was forced into what Alice so fittingly described as a Cinematic Perspective on the Teenage Girl.
Jasper couldn't really say it was all that helpful, but at least now he had a semblance of an idea of what to do if Lainie randomly burst into song in the middle of their lunch tomorrow.
Lainie was, without a doubt, a nervous wreck the following morning. She'd fallen asleep around 11:30 PM but had woken up from another nightmare around 3:00 AM. Normally, she'd go distract herself in the gym downstairs but she was so mentally and physically drained that she couldn't pull herself out of bed. Lainie just spent the following two and a half hours staring at her ceiling and trying not to cry at what a mess her life was.
At 5:30 AM, Lainie pulled herself out of bed and dragged herself to the bathroom to take a shower. She took her time getting ready, not wanting to making a habit out of looking like a complete hot mess for school. The one thing she'd come to realize about living in such a small town was that going to school looking properly exhausted would lead to questions and rumors. She didn't need speculation and she sure as hell didn't need the small town teenagers in constant need of some sort of gossip asking questions. Lainie also had her lunch with Jasper that afternoon, but she wasn't yet ready to admit that she did, in fact, want to look good for the blond-haired boy. Or at least not like total trash.
Lainie pulled on a black, long-sleeved mock neck shirt, tucked into pair of high-waisted medium wash jeans. A black belt with a silver buckle adorned her waist, pulling the outfit together. As per usual, she wore her black Docs. She'd piled on as much concealer as she could without it looking cake-y but even then her under-eye circles were still entirely too prominent for her liking. The rose colored blush on her cheeks brought her face somewhat to life, so at least she had that going for her. Thankfully, with a couple coats of mascara on her lashes and her thick-rimmed glasses on her face, her under-eye bags become just a tiny bit less noticeable. Lainie would take what she could get.
Looking at the time, she still had a little over an hour before her first class of the day so she decided to make a quick stop at a coffee shop a few minutes away from the school. While caffeine would be the obvious choice, considering her lack of sleep, Lainie decided she needed more of a calming affect and less of a boost of energy.
Her mint green tea was still piping hot as she pulled into the parking lot at school, thirty minutes before first period.
Several cars down from where Lainie had parked her SUV was the silver Volvo belonging to the one and only Edward Cullen.
"She's here!" Alice nearly squealed, already ready for the lunch period to start so that she could finally bear witness to her best friend and was what was sure to be the love of his life interact. If she could dream, it would be a dream come true. "You should go talk to her."
Jasper, who had just spent the past evening and early hours of the morning watching teen romance films, was as exhausted as a vampire who didn't need sleep could be. "And what exactly am I meant to say, Alice?"
"Jas, we spent all night studying for this." The small vampire rolled her eyes, "Say something smooth."
"Tell her she looks hot today." Emmett, of course, as helpful as always.
"Yeah, don't say that." Edward chimed in. "She's got a cup of hot tea and if she throws it at you and your face doesn't melt off, it'll be a dead giveaway that we're a bunch of freaks."
"Freaks? Speak for yourself, Edward." Rosalie muttered bitterly, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. Edward only rolled his eyes in response before searching the parking lot for Bella. While he was still technically ignoring her, he still couldn't help but be drawn to the mentally silent human girl.
"Well, here goes nothin'."
Jasper made his way over to Lainie's SUV, but before he could reach it, he was hit with a such a strong wave of despair. He knew immediately who it was coming from and he had to stop for a moment to evaluate the situation. Jasper could walk away right now and maybe catch her at a later moment in the day to confirm their lunch plans, or he could knock on her window, interrupting whatever train of thought had led her down that emotional road, and possibly distract her from it.
Not hearing any crying coming from the car, which Jasper doubted Lainie wanted him to witness, he decided on the latter. Jasper knocked softly on the window, not wanting to scare the human girl.
Lainie looked up at him and smiled, although her eyes were slightly glassy with what could only be unshed tears. She quickly blinked them away and motioned for Jasper to step back so she could open the car door.
"Good morning, Jasper." She spoke politely, still a little unsure of what to make of the blond-haired boy's new intentions for friendship.
"Mornin', Lainie. How are you doing this morning?" Not well. Jasper could already tell from the dark circles peeking through from behind her make-up that she had not slept well. He considered spending the night outside her home to help calm her into a peaceful sleep, but he had a feeling that most sane humans would find that a bit off-putting.
"I'm doing alright. I've got a Spanish test in 4th today, so I'm pretty excited to fail that." She laughed softly, albeit sarcastically, and Jasper, for a moment, was completely entranced by the sound of her laughter, regardless of how inhibited it may have been.
"Really?" He laughed, "Forgive me for assuming, but I'd have thought you were fluent in the language."
"It's the last name, isn't it?" Lainie, once again found herself laughing, but continued before Jasper could answer. "Technically speaking, yes, I am a fluent Spanish speaker, but I think Spanish classes overall tend to over-emphasize the formalities of the language. Most people I know couldn't really care less about all the rules. Unfortunately, the rules, which are my weakest point, are a large focus of the class. And, that is why I may or may not be slightly moody during our lunch today, so I'm gonna apologize for that in advance." She rambled slightly, looking up at Jasper with an awkward smile.
"You know, I never really thought about it like that, but you're right. We tend to do the same thing with the English language, but I doubt there are many places that speak English as formally as we are taught. There are too many dialects in the U.S. alone for that, I think."
"Exactly! And God, don't even get me started on the analysis portion of language courses. We'd be here all day." Jasper wouldn't really mind standing there all day, listening to her ramble about something as mundane as language classes. He could probably listen to her ramble about anything, and the thought only slightly terrified him.
"So is it safe to say that you're more interested in the mathematics and science portions of our school curriculum?"
"Without a doubt. Don't get me wrong, I'm no genius when it comes to math and science either, but it's definitely a lot more straightforward. You've got the one right answer and maybe several ways to reach that conclusion. With languages, you've got to account for proper verbiage, tone, the idea that you could say one thing and mean something completely different. It's exhausting, no?"
There was a lightness in Jasper's overall demeanor as he continued conversing with Lainie about their school curriculum. Alice, who already knew the effect the girl had on her best friend, watched on with an almost blinding smile. The rest of the Cullens observed on with varying levels of interest. Emmett, unsurprisingly, had a giant smirk on his face, an odd but not rare contrast to his seemingly angelic features. Edward, too, had a small smirk on his face, and try hard as he might to ignore the blonde girl's thoughts, enough slipped through to let him know that she was enjoying the conversation as much as Jasper was. Rosalie, while the perfect picture of nonchalance, couldn't help but notice the lack of tension in her brother's shoulders as he played the part of human well. His normally stiff shoulders were relaxed as he breathed in the world around him, unplagued with the burden of his typical bloodlust, far too distracted in the conversation before him. Far too distracted with the idea that maybe the world couldn't have possibly picked anyone more perfect to be his mate.
Lainie sat in her usual seat in Mrs. Goff's Spanish class. The test sitting face down in front of her had not been nearly as difficult as she had expected, meaning that her warning to Jasper that morning had been for naught.
As she waited for Mrs. Goff to collect the exams from her row, Lainie thought back to that morning.
It was odd the effect that Jasper had on her. She'd been sipping her tea that morning when she was hit with a severe wave of nostalgia. Her dad had always been an avid coffee drinker and had apparently become much more addicted when he and her mom had started dating. Her maternal grandmother had apparently introduced him to the wonders of Cuban coffee and he had never once looked back. Lainie's mom, on the other hand, had always joked that coffee was the true gateway drug, not marijuana, and had refused to drink the concoction. Tea had always been her go-to drink, mint green tea, to be exact, and Lainie, too had gravitated toward the beverage.
Lainie remembered how her mom always had a cup ready for her on the mornings of a big test. She'd never really been an anxious child, but she'd also never been the best test-taker either and so it had become a ritual of theirs to calm Lainie's nerves on those mornings. It had been almost a subconscious action, purchasing the cup of tea, and with that realization, nostalgia turned to despair and she'd found herself pushing back the tears that threatened to fall. Every breath she took burned with the pain of knowing that her parents were well and truly gone and there was not a single thing she could do about it.
And then Jasper knocked on her window. Suddenly, the air that she breathed in stopped burning and she felt like maybe things would be okay again. One day.
Lainie didn't understand any of it. The only people who had ever provided that level of comfort had been her parents and Issa. Not even Jonathan had been capable of bringing her back up from what felt like an epic low. A part of Lainie was terrified of feeling this way. She knew that allowing Jasper into her life wasn't a wise choice. She was being hunted and in order to survive, she'd been forced to become an impostor. She'd never been a natural liar and that was why she kept her "friends" at an arms-length, but she knew that a friendship with Jasper could never be like the farce of a friendship she had with the majority of her peers.
Lainie knew that she should cut it off while she was ahead, but she also knew that in the handful of conversations she'd had with Jasper, she'd quickly become addicted to the tranquility only he could seem to provide. And she didn't really want to let that go.
The sound of the bell released Lainie from her mind and she quickly gathered her belongings to head to the lunch room.
Jessica and Bella met up with Lainie by the door, Jessica already panicking about her test answers.
"I'm almost one-hundred percent sure that I got 7 through 12 wrong. I just always have such a hard time differentiating between the tónicas and átonas."
"I'm sure you did just fine, Jess. Didn't you stay up all night studying?" Replied Bella. Lainie stayed quiet, knowing that Jessica typically only complained because she was looking for validation on her intelligence. Despite Lainie's previous assumptions on the girl's intellect, she'd come to realize that Jessica was, in fact, incredibly smart. The girl just had a below-average self-esteem and needed constant reassurance. Lainie would be a lot more sympathetic if Jessica wasn't so spiteful.
They quickly went through the lunch line, Lainie once again gravitating toward the chicken tenders and fries. The girls paid for their lunches and started heading toward their usual lunch table. Lainie lingered behind, looking for where Jasper was sitting before she spotted him at an empty table near where he and his siblings typically sat. He looked up and gave her a small smile, waving her toward the empty chair next to him.
Bella and Jessica noticed she hadn't fallen in line with them and looked back, a questioning look on their faces.
"I'm gonna be sitting with Jasper today." She angled her head toward where Jasper sat, a lone tray of untouched food sitting in front of him. "You guys can go on ahead."
Jessica's eyes nearly bugged out like a cartoon character. "Hale?" She nearly shrieked.
"Unless there's another Jasper in this school that I'm not aware of…" Which was quite possible, but she very much doubted it. It's not like it was a particularly common name.
Bella looked on in wonder before stuttering out, "I… I thought the Cullens didn't socialize with anybody." There was a hint of jealousy in her voice, but Lainie didn't take it personally. Edward, from the looks of it, was still ignoring Bella, and Bella was obviously still quite frustrated by this.
"It's a relatively new development." That didn't seem to be enough for either of them, but especially Jessica. "We're history partners." Lainie tacked on, as if that really explained why the seemingly most anti-social Cullen member was suddenly having lunch with someone outside his familiar circle.
Not caring for further interrogation, she quickly bid them adieu. "I should get over there. I'll see you guys in gym."
Lainie quickly walked to where Jasper sat, setting her tray down gently in front of her.
"Was that the Spanish Inquisition I just witnessed?" He joked, referencing the interrogatory conversation just moments prior.
"Yep, apparently you interacting with anyone other than your siblings is such an earth-shattering event that they just had to satisfy their curiosity."
"What'd you tell them?" Jasper already knew, but she didn't need to know that.
"Nothing really, just that we are history partners. Then I ran away to avoid further questions."
Jasper laughed, the musical aspect of the sound not lost to Lainie's ears. "Sometimes running away is the smartest thing one can do."
Lainie smiled, somewhat sadly. "Yeah, you can say that again."
Noticing her dampening mood, Jasper quickly steered the conversation in a different direction. "How did your Spanish test go? You don't seem to be in an awful mood, so I can only assume it didn't go as bad as you'd expected?"
That got a small laugh out of her. "No, it went okay enough, I think. At least a B-, which is a lot better than the D I got on last week's pop quiz. Actually, I think Mrs. Goff is majorly confused by me because my conversational Spanish is perfect but then she gets my quizzes in front of her and it's almost like I haven't been learning the language since I was a kid. It's kind of pathetic, honestly." She laughed again, only to disguise how awkward she felt at her rambling.
"I don't think it's pathetic. Do you know how many people who speak English as their first and only language fail English classes? That's what I'd call pathetic." He informed her, smirking at how her eyes were alit with laughter.
"Well that is a small consolation, I suppose."
There was a short lull in the conversation, not uncomfortable, but Lainie broke it anyway.
"So how'd your siblings take the news that you'd be abandoning them today for lil ole me?" Lainie spoke in a joking manner, but a small part of her was a bit worried that Jasper's siblings weren't entirely okay with her taking over his time during lunch. Sure, he had said that they'd encouraged him to talk to other people, but they probably meant someone Jasper had a higher likelihood of having things in common with. Not the random new girl with a bit of a tragic backstory. If only they knew how tragic her story really was, they'd be dead-set against Jasper being friends with her.
"Alice is especially proud of me for making such a good choice for my first friend here."
Lainie's heart skipped a beat at the smile on Jasper's face. Jasper, who was able to hear her heartbeat, smiled widely at the effect he had on her.
Lainie quickly recovered from Jasper's words, "And how is she so sure that I'm a good choice? For all you know I could be some evil wench, dead-set on destroying the Cullen family from the inside out. Did you think of that?" It was a defense mechanism. Lainie knew this, but even then, she still couldn't help but use humor to detract from the potential seriousness of the conversation.
"Are you an evil wench, dead-set on destroying my family from the inside out?" Jasper quirked a brow. He, too, knew what she was doing, but he was determined the play along if that was what was going to make Lainie feel more at ease.
"Well, no…" she trailed off, but before she could continue, Jasper cut in.
"Good. Plus, Alice is a very good judge of character, so when she says I've made a good choice, I know that I can trust her word on that."
It took a second for Jasper's words to register.
"Wait, I'm almost positive I've never spoken a word to Alice in the whole time I've been here. Not saying I have any nefarious intentions toward you, but how could she possibly know?" Lainie had seen the small, dark-haired girl in the hallways. Always with an almost knowing smile on her face, but again, the only interaction the two had ever had was the one time Alice had smiled brightly at Lainie as they passed one another in the hallway. Lainie had been dazed for just a moment before responding in kind at the girl. That was the extent of their interactions.
"Alice just knows things. She says it's a gift." He smirked at the obvious inside joke, but Lainie chose to ignore it. Inside jokes were inside jokes for a reason.
"Well in that case, I can't just go proving her wrong. Guess I'm just gonna have to be the bestest friend you could have possibly made here. Outside your family, of course." She smiled at Jasper, somewhat shyly.
"She'll be very happy to hear you'd said that." Jasper paused, before saying something he knew he might later regret. "Do you want to meet her?" Almost as if on queue, Jasper heard a small squeal coming from the table his siblings currently inhabited. It wasn't loud enough for anyone outside their table to have heard, but Jasper's vampire hearing easily picked up the sound.
"If she's anything like you, I'd certainly love to meet her."
"Oh, trust me, we are nothing alike." He laughed, "She's a lot nicer than me, for example."
"Really? She must be a damn saint then because you're perfectly lovely to me." Lainie hadn't meant for the words to come out as flirtatiously as they did. That was Nic shining through. She'd be able to flirt with a brick wall given the opportunity. That was just the type of person she was, but she'd always been sure to keep it in check with people she didn't know too well. She never wanted to give anyone the wrong idea. The mere fact that she felt comfortable enough with Jasper to let her real personality shine through was not lost to Lainie.
"That's probably because I find myself really enjoying your company." Jasper spoke honestly. He knew what the rest of the student body thought of him: cold, pretentious, rigid. He'd never bothered to prove them wrong because there was no reason to. Jasper had no interest in being their friend. Lainie, however, in the short time he'd known her, had become everything, and he didn't want her to think of him the same way everyone else did.
"I really enjoy your company as well." Deciding the conversation had become a bit too heavy, Lainie deviated slightly. "But yeah, I'd love to meet Alice. Just name the time and place and I'm there."
"How about today, after school?" Jasper heard another squeal from his usual table and had to refrain from rolling his eyes.
"Does that mean I'm meeting the whole fam?" The thought filled her with a bit of anxiety but she quickly pushed it to the side, not wanting it to consume her.
"You can, if you want." He was giving her the option to back out, Lainie realized as much, but she knew his family was important to him and if they were going to be friends, which Lainie found herself longing for more and more, she'd have to meet them eventually.
"Sure. Gotta make your family likes me before I can take my honored role as your bestest outer circle friend, right?"
"Outer circle?"
"Yeah, inner circle." she pointed nodded her head toward his family's table, "Outer circle." She then gestured toward herself and the general area around them, but not including any other being other than herself.
It was fascinating to Jasper how easily she picked up on his and his family's dynamic. She'd shown enough interest to show that she cared, but not enough to pry into why his family chose to separate themselves from the rest of the student body. It was almost like she knew they were hiding something, but deliberately ignored it because she figured that it wasn't any of her concern.
Jasper already knew she was hiding something, but their conversation only further cemented that fact. She didn't ask any prying questions because she didn't want any prying questions turned in her direction.
Because Jasper was still adamantly on one side of the fence about their growing connection, in terms of it becoming romantic and her being turned into a vampire, he refrained from letting his curiosity out of bounds. If the only way to keep his own secret and keep her within reach was to stifle his interest in what she was hiding, then he'd do it. He knew for a fact that she was human, so he could only hope that whatever she was hiding wasn't anything that would put her in immediate danger.
The rest of the lunch period came and went, Jasper choosing to deviate the conversation to more generic topics.
He'd found out that her favorite color was baby pink, her favorite candy was strawberry Sour Punch Straws (best eaten cold), her favorite movie was the Tower of Terror (which Jasper promised not to make fun of her for), she enjoyed working out, she persistently lived by the Dumbledore quote: "One can never have enough socks," and the one thing she hated the most about Forks was the fact that they didn't have a Starbucks in the area. Apparently her "inner basic bitch" trembled at the loss of a convenient white chocolate mocha.
The more Jasper spoke to Lainie the more he realized what he'd been missing in his eternal life. He just hoped that he'd be able to let her go when the time finally came for them to move on.
They walked to history together, ignoring the blatant staring from her friends, who wouldn't get the opportunity to interrogate her until last period.
In history, they both sat quietly next to one another, paying attention to Ms. Smithers' lecture, but both incredibly aware of the other's presence.
Jasper walked Lainie to gym, just as he had done the day before. "Are you ready for the Spanish Inquisition, la segunda parte?" The Spanish words had rolled smoothly off his tongue as if he, too, had been speaking the language since he was a kid.
"I have a feeling that whether or not I'm ready for it, it's gonna happen either way."
Jasper looked toward the entrance of the girls locker room and saw Jessica lingering by the door, attempting, yet failing, to look discrete.
"You're probably not wrong about that." He laughed quietly and she groaned. "Chin up, Soldier. You can handle this."
"Sir, yes, sir." Lainie mocked, bringing her right hand up to salute him. Jasper laughed again, a bit louder, and Lainie noticed Jessica's eyes doing the bug-eyed thing they had done at lunch.
"I'll meet you out here after class. Good luck."
"Thanks, I'll need it." Jasper left Lainie with one last blinding smile. She couldn't help but notice she felt slightly less whole the further he walked away from her.
"Here goes nothing." She muttered to herself before walking up to meet Jessica.
"How'd it go?" Was the first thing out of Jasper's mouth, a small smirk lingering on his handsome features. He offered her his arm, which she took with no hesitation, leading her out toward the student parking lot where she was set to meet his siblings.
"Well, I'm really starting to understand why you and your family don't talk to anyone. That was exhausting. Also, Jessica distracted me and I didn't have time to dodge a ball to the head so if I wake up with a giant bruise on my forehead Bella better watch out." Lainie knew from the first day she'd met Bella that the girl's clumsiness was going to be safety hazard.
"I won't tell Edward you said that." Jasper laughed, enjoying how Lainie's eyes widened somewhat comically.
"Okay, so forgive me for channeling my inner-Jessica here, but does he have a thing for her?" Jasper only smirked in response, answering Lainie's question well enough.
"God, if only she knew, maybe then she'd stop being so moody."
"If Edward has any say, she won't find out about it. He's very adamant about focusing on school. No girls until college, apparently." Jasper shrugged, brushing off the real reason Edward wouldn't allow himself to get too close despite his obvious interest.
"Duly noted, I'll keep mouth shut." She mimed locking her mouth and throwing away the key. "For Edward's sake."
"I'm sure he'd appreciate that very much."
Soon enough, they reached the shiny silver Volvo, the other four Cullen siblings standing outside of it looking like they'd just stepped out of a catalogue.
Lainie had never really been the insecure type, but even she was struck by the sheer perfection of each of the siblings up close. Rosalie, especially.
Jasper hadn't even opened his mouth to introduce her before Lainie was pulled into a very cold, yet somehow comforting embrace. Lainie was frozen for a moment before she wrapped her arms around the small figure. Alice, undoubtedly.
"Alice." Jasper growled warningly, only loud enough for his siblings to hear.
Alice pulled away, a bright smile on her small, fairy-like face. "Lainie, it's so lovely to finally meet you!" She exclaimed excitedly. "Jasper's told us so much about you."
Suddenly, Lainie recalled a conversation she'd had with Emmett earlier in the school year in which he had told her the exact same thing.
"All good things, I hope." She responded, looking at Emmett with a smirk on her face. He let out a loud laugh, obviously also recalling their conversation.
"He thinks you're cute." Emmett winked at her, and Jasper had to hold himself back from tackling the larger vampire to the ground.
Lainie, noticing the awkward expression on Jasper's face, patted his bicep. "It's alright, Jasper. If it's any consolation, I think you're pretty cute, as well." And just like that, Jasper's face was alit with the smile she was coming to like far too much.
Edward, hearing her thoughts, smirked.
"I'm Edward." He said, offering the young girl his hand to shake. Cold, she thought as he retracted his hand. "It's great to meet you, Lainie."
"And this," Jasper interrupted, shooting his "twin" a look warning her to be nice, "is Rosalie."
Rosalie, who had been quiet throughout the entire encounter offered Lainie a tight smile, which looked more like a grimace than anything. She then turned her back on her siblings and stepped into the backseat of the Volvo, not a single word of welcome coming out of her mouth.
Suddenly, Lainie felt a sharp pang of loss. Rosalie's demeanor had reminded her a lot of Issa. While their appearance couldn't be anything more different: Rosalie's long blonde hair, gold eyes, and pale skin a sharp contrast to Issa's short, dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and lightly tanned skin, her stand-offish countenance reminded Lainie of all the times Issa had been forced to socialize outside of their normal social circles. The smile slipped from her face for just a moment before she quickly caught herself. Not quick enough, though, for the vampires around her to catch her small slip. Jasper hands moved to hold Lainie, almost unconsciously, but an imperceptible shake of the head from Edward stopped him.
"It's really great to meet you guys." She said, her voice only slightly shaky before she turned to Jasper, "I should get going, but I'll see you tomorrow, Jasper."
Alice, in an effort to cheer Lainie up, did what Alice does best. "Oh, Lainie, one sec! How do you feel about shopping?"
"Judging by the slightly manic grin on your face, the way I feel about shopping is nowhere near the way you feel about shopping." She laughed, once again using humor to mask her more negative emotions. Jasper watched on, almost helpless knowing that whatever he pushed toward her would be gone the moment her car left the parking lot.
Emmett booming laughter pierced the atmosphere, "Well, she's probably not wrong about that." He ruffled Alice's hair affectionately. Alice only pouted slightly before brightening up again.
"Did you want to come shopping with me this weekend? Winter is coming and I need to update some stuff in my closet."
Lainie couldn't see the harm in indulging her newest friend's best friend.
"My wardrobe could probably use some updating, too, so I'm down." She smiled down at the dark-haired girl. Never in her life did she think she'd be physically looking down at someone, but Alice, as unbelievable as it was, was actually shorter than Lainie's height of 5'2.
"Great! Maybe you can sit with us at lunch tomorrow and we can coordinate?"
At the mention of sitting with Jasper's family, Lainie looked toward him to make sure that was something he was okay with. With Lainie's mood lifting considerably, an impact only Alice could naturally have, he now had an easy smile on his face. In response to her silent question, he only shrugged, letting her know that he was okay with it if she was.
"Works for me."
Alice grinned in response, shooting her a thumbs up before jumping into the front seat of the Volvo, which Edward was now warming up.
Lainie waved at the rest of Jasper's siblings before turning to Jasper, who began leading her to her own car.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?" He asked as she jammed her key into the ignition and turned on the car's heater.
"Definitely not." She smiled at him. "I like them."
"And they like you, too."
Lainie thought back to her stilted interaction with Rosalie just minutes prior. While Jasper's words probably weren't the case, she couldn't hold them against him. She had an idea where Rosalie was coming from and didn't dare hold that against her. Some people just needed more time to warm up to others and Lainie was coming to the realization that she'd also adopted a similar mindset. As Nic, she'd always been a very welcoming person, making friends with just about anybody and anything that moved. As Lainie, however, she'd come to realize that letting people in so easily was not the wisest move. Maybe she wasn't as cold about it as Rosalie had shown to be, but everyone handled things differently.
"Now you have the honor of being my bestest outer circle friend." He joked, referencing their conversation from lunch.
"I shan't take my duty lightly, Jasper Hale. Cross my heart." And that was a promise she was determined to keep. Even if Jasper couldn't know the whole truth about who she really was, even if he couldn't know Nicolette Ríos, she was determined to show Jasper the parts of Lainie Cortes closest to her true self.
It would be a lie, but it would be the most truthful lie she'd ever tell.
"I know I told you not to read her mind, but I also know that you never listen to me, so just tell me, is she okay?"
"She's fine, Jasper. Rosalie just reminded her of an old friend of hers." Edward responded, glancing back at Rosalie from the rearview. She was staring resolutely out the window.
"Is her friend dead?" Jasper asked hesitantly, becoming regretful of having Lainie meet his family.
"The way she thought about her, no. She's still alive. But she's also mourning her. So I don't think they talk anymore."
I wonder why that is, Jasper thought, not intending for Edward to answer.
"I think that goes back to the whole Lainie-slash-Nic thing that you're determined not to involve yourself in." Edward said pointedly.
"How hypocritical of me would it be to try to force myself into her secret when we don't want her to force herself into ours?"
"Jasper, we're going to tell her. She's your mate. It's only a matter of time before we have to tell her the truth and give her a choice." Alice said from her spot in the front seat of the car.
"That's not happening."
"Why not, Jas?"
"You said she needed a friend, Alice. I'm being her friend, and that's it. I will have to be there for her in the most human way I know how and that will be all."
"Oh, Jasper." Said Alice softly, almost sympathetically. "For someone with your gift, I think you underestimate how in love with her you already are."
"I can't do that to her, Alice. She has her whole life ahead of her. So much to live for." It was not lost on anyone in the car that Jasper had not denied his feelings for the human girl. That was the thing about finding your mate: you were always destined to fall hard and fall quick.
"How sure of that are you, Jasper? That she has much to live for?" Edward asked, not waiting for a response before continuing. "The only time she seems to be at peace is when you're standing close by. We all heard your conversation at lunch today, you know. It was almost jarring how lively she seemed in comparison to the conversations with her other friends. She'd been surrounded by all those people and still been in a world of pain, yet the moment she sat down with you today, it was like she was a completely different person."
"What are you implying, Edward?" Jasper's voice was rough. Angry, almost.
"I'm not implying anything. Just stating that maybe she didn't have as much to live for until she met you. And considering you're not really alive, well, it doesn't take a genius to understand that maybe this was something she was meant for. Something to think about, don't you think?"
Author's Note: I know, I know, Edward was a little OOC in that last bit. I've decided that since the majority of Edward and Bella's story will not be front and center in this story that I could afford to make him a little less angsty and generally unlikable. I also thought it'd be a little funny to have Edward be Jasper's voice of reason when he is undoubtedly incapable of such a thing with his own relationship with Bella. Also, Edward's always been a pretty selfish character, so I think what he says makes sense, despite him being under the impression that vampires are soul-less monsters. Like, sure, Jasper's mate should lose her "soul", but God forbid, pure, innocent, perfect Bella lose hers, right? This is totally Edward's M.O. that it shouldn't even have to be justified, it just makes perfect sense. Edward hate rant over.
Does anyone think that Jasper's a little OOC, as well? I'm trying to make him as charming and funny (because Lainie doesn't really need any additional angst in her life) as possible without losing the essence of the original Jasper, but I'm not sure if it's going well. I haven't read the books since I was 12, so it's been 13 years *cries in old person* so if I'm doing a terrible job, somebody (ANYBODY) please let me know so that I can attempt to adjust.
See y'all in 6 months with the next update! (JOKING… I hope). I've actually been working on an outline for this story and have a pretty good idea of which direction I'm wanting to take it, so I'm really hoping I can have the next chapter knocked out a lot quicker than 6 months. But if I don't, feel free to insult me in the reviews… I thrive on negativity :) Real talk, though, thank you guys who've reviewed so far! You're all incredibly sweet! [I also thrive on positivity :)]