I do not own the rights to 9-1-1 or 9-1-1: Lone Star. Alexander Strand is my own character.

Evan Buckley did not show up on time for his shift the next day.

He did not call in to give a reason as to why he was late. He did not answer any calls or texts from the 118 wondering or demanding to know where he was and if he was coming in to work. He had fallen off the face of the world.

Before the lawsuit, this would have caused the 118 to be worried and concerned. Now however, they were all just tired. Seriously, how many stunts was their youngest member going to pull for attention? Wasn't the lawsuit enough? Now he had to pretend to be trapped in a fire then sulk when it didn't work? Exhausting.

Sighing in annoyance at the thought, Bobby looked up from making lunch. "Still no word from Buckley?"

"Not a word or sign he's even seen the texts or calls," Hen replied, shaking her head.

"Tell him if he doesn't get his ass here in the next hour, he can consider himself on light duty again with a whole list of chores waiting for him."

Hen frowned slightly but did as told. Buck deserved it after all, not coming in and not responding to any messages. But he seemed more hurt than she'd ever seen him after the call the previous day and he was unnaturally silent, depressed and obedient. Had they taken their treatment of the youngest too far? Maybe Hen should have bothered to genuinely check in with Buck and see how he was doing, not as his colleague but as his friend. She at least owed him that after all the times he'd been there for her, not to mention all the times he'd babysat Denny.

Still, Hen didn't feel completely convinced. She decided to ask Athena to check on him. It was her day off and Hen felt bad for disturbing her, but it was the quickest way to figure out where Buck was. He was probably at his apartment sulking but just in case he'd gone and done some stupid act for attention, it was best to get someone to check on him.

Hen: Hey, I hate to bother you on your day off but could you check up on Buck? He hasn't shown up and it's almost three hours into shift.

Hen didn't have to wait long for Athena's reply. She was on a day off after all, she had more time than she would on a work day.

Athena: Sure. Is he alright after the apartment fire yesterday?

Hen: I think he's sulking over the fact his attention plea didn't work.

Already heading out to her car, Athena frowned. Attention plea? She was pretty damn sure the claim from the young boy Alex and Buck's radio for help had not been some attention plea. If it was, it was too far, pretending to be trapped and almost getting crushed by a collapsing building, and the Evan Buckley she knew would not take things too far. Far, maybe, depending on the situation, but he would not knowingly cross a line.

Then there was the fact that he was back to doing the job he loved and had fought to get back to. He wouldn't do something stupid for attention and risk losing that job again, especially so soon.

Add in the pain and fear she had heard in his voice through the radio and you got one (1) suspicious Athena Grant. Now she didn't tell those thoughts to Hen. Instead she gave an 'on my way to Buck's place' text and drove off towards said place.

Athena was worried: Buck was missing from work and his team didn't seem worried like they should be. What was going on? Who was in the wrong here, Buck or the rest of the 118? Were they really as alright after the lawsuit as she had thought?

A long sigh passed Athena's lips. Whatever was going on, she was going to get to the bottom of it.

There was no answer when she knocked on Buck's door. There was no sound of activity inside either. However, the door was unlocked and when she stepped inside, Athena found all the lights were off. It wasn't dark—it was the middle of the day and sun light was coming in through the windows, so it wasn't strange, but Buck was nowhere.

There was no sign of Buck in the apartment. Athena checked the bedroom, bathroom, living room, everywhere. What she did find left a heavy weight settling in her stomach though. Letters rested on the otherwise-empty island in the kitchen. Now that she saw it, the rest of the apartment was completely clean. The bed was made, dishes were done, and there was no clothing lying around.

Buck was a clean person, yes, but the apartment was so clean it was almost suspicious. Athena checked the bathroom again and a sneaking suspicion began to creep up on her; there were no personal items on the counter or in the cupboards. No toothbrush, soaps, comb, razor, anything. There were no clothes in the closet either and the trinkets, memoirs and souvenirs Buck treasured most were gone too. Anything that would fit into a car, Athena realized.

"Oh Buck," she whispered to herself. "Did you really run off without telling anyone? Well, there's definitely something going on then…"

Athena was about to pull out her phone to text Hen when she noticed exactly what the letters on the island were. It wasn't mail for Buck like she initially thought; one of those letters was addressed to her in Buck's rather elegant handwriting. Athena walked closer and frowned as she saw letters to Maddie, Christoper Diaz, and to the 118. Not each member of the 118, but to the firehouse as a whole. Only four letters.

Slowly, Athena reached out to take the letter meant for her. Buck had run off and left letters for her, his sister, his friend, and his firehouse. He left a single letter to the job he loved, not one to each of his friends and teammates. What exactly was going on? Well, she supposed she was about to find out.

Athena,

I'm incredibly sorry but I can't say goodbye in person. I don't want to let anyone from the 118 know I'm leaving before I'm long gone and well, you're married to the captain and I'm writing this letter after our shifts are over, I know he'll be with you.

As I wrote in Maddie's letter, I won't just be wandering across the country. I know where I'm going this time. I won't be alone and I won't be lost. I'll be happy and I know you want that for me just like I want it for you. I'll call you as soon as I get where I'm going and I'll call every other night after that if you want to check in.

I can't bring myself to stay anymore. I've written out the main reason in Maddie's letter, which I wrote first. There are more reasons than what I wrote there. Ever since I got back, Bobby's put me on more chores than what's really necessary. Every dirty job around the firehouse that we usually tackle as a team has been done by only me for a long time. Sometimes someone will purposely mess up my work of cleaning just to make me work harder. They don't seem to want me anymore either; if it's not snide comments, it's side glares and scowls. I just feel like an outsider, like I'm not part of their family anymore. I suppose that's partly my fault but I've been told by a good friend that the blame isn't solely on me.

It took me a long time to see it but I deserve to be treated better than the way Bobby, Chimney, Hen and Eddie have been treating me. I understand they're hurt after what I did with the lawsuit, but just feels like it's going too far.

I feel so bad to be leaving again after I just got this job back but I can't do it with the confidence and trust in my team that I had before. Teams are built on trust, right? Well, they don't want me and I don't trust them so I guess our team can never work out.

I wrote out more details in Maddie's letter, I'm sorry but I don't want to have to admit everything twice. If it's you who finds these letters, Athena, please bring Maddie her's first and if you can, Christopher's next. I want you and Maddie to know what's been going on and for Christopher to know why I'm leaving.

With love,

Buck

Athena's rage was nearly boiling over. She suspected things weren't alright between the members of the 118 but they were bullying him and making him feel worthless? Buck didn't believe that he wasn't completely to blame, Athena could feel his guilt through the page.

That only made her angrier. Bobby had been telling her that Buck had gotten reacquainted with the 118 easily and that everything was fine. Hell, he said Buck was back to his joking, trouble-making ways! Athena supposed those trouble-making ways included pretending to be pinned in a burning building.

With a low huff of disbelief, Athena grabbed the other three letters and turned to leave. As Buck requested, she was going to deliver his letter to his sister.

•••

Maddie,

I'm so sorry to be leaving when it feels like you just got here. I'm sorry I can't say goodbye in person but I know you're out with Chimney tonight and I don't want to see him.

I can't express how bad I feel for running again without you. I wish I could bring you with me but you're finally happy here and I won't disturb that. I love you, my little big sis, you deserve happiness. It took me a while to realize it but so do I.

This isn't running without a destination, I promise. I know exactly where I'm going. I won't say where but know that I'll be happy and satisfied with my new home and with my decision to leave Los Angeles. I won't be alone and if you want, I'll call you every night and let you know how I'm doing.

Why I'm leaving in the first place… That's harder to answer. There's a few reasons but the big one is that I just don't feel like I can rely on my team anymore. They've hurt me and I know Eddie said I should stop being exhausting and suck it up like everyone else but I don't think I can do that. No one came to help me on that call earlier today. I would have died in that apartment building and I don't want to die because my team didn't want to save me. I think I deserve better than that, even after the stupid lawsuit.

Please don't be mad at them or at me. I never told you because I didn't want to mess up your happiness with Chimney and I never went to Athena for the same reason. You're both happy, I can't destroy that like I destroyed my family in the firehouse.

There will be more details in Athena's letter that I plan to write next. If it's you who finds these letters, Maddie, please bring Athena and Christopher their letters before delivering the 118's. You all deserve to know what's been going on.

Love your big little brother,

Evan

Maddie's hands shook as she took in the contents of the letter. Athena sat across from her at the table in the break room of the 911 dispatch. Whether the older Buckley was more upset or enraged, Athena couldn't be sure. Maddie had read the letter out loud so the Sargent knew what was written and she was most definitely not in a good mood.

"They left him to die?" Maddie whispered, her voice shaking in both anger and horror.

"Sure seems like it," Athena replied solemnly. "I heard the call for help Buck gave through the radio on that call and not one of those firefighters went into that building to help him. I was about to go in myself when he dove through the doorway. I thought Bobby was distracting me after that but now I'm certain he was trying to keep me from going to talk to Buck. They left before I could talk to him."

Maddie let out a slow breath, trying to calm herself. "My shift ends in two hours, then we're going to talk to the 118 ourselves."

Athena nodded, "Sounds like a plan. I have one more letter to deliver to Buck's friend Christopher then I'll meet you at the firehouse."

"Alright." It was Maddie's turn to nod. "I'll see you later then."

Athena stood from her seat and as she turned away, she gave one last look at the oldest Buckley sibling, "Try not to chew them out on any calls or don't alert them that we know."

Maddie nodded again. "I'll do my best."

•••

Christopher,

I'm sorry little man but I have to leave. I don't think I'll be coming back to live in Los Angeles again but I might come visit if it's alright with your dad. I'm so sorry I can't say goodbye to you face to face. I'm also really sorry that I haven't been around lately; your dad said I'm not allowed to come see you anymore.

You see, some bad things happened, and your dad and I haven't been getting along really well for a while. I've decided that it's best for your dad, his teammates and I if I go away. It's not Eddie's fault and I'm realizing that it's not my fault either. It's just a really big mess that can't be cleaned up.

Don't worry about me. I promise I'll be just fine, Chris. I'll be with people who care for me and who want me with them, and I'll be happy. I already have a really good friend where I'm going and his firefighter team needs another member.

You're an amazing friend, Christopher and I'm really happy and glad that I got to spend so much time with you. Maybe your dad will let you call me and we can talk on the phone or through video chat. I'll look forward to talking with you again.

Thank you for everything,

Buck

Carla frowned as she took in the contents of the letter she had just read out loud to Christopher. The woman looked up to meet Athena's eyes, a question in her gaze. Silently, Athena handed the caregiver the letter Buck had written to her. Carla started reading it, her frown deepening even more.

"Buck's gone?" Christopher asked in confusion and hurt.

"Yeah," Athena replied gently, "He's left Los Angeles. But you heard what he wrote, he just wasn't happy here anymore."

"But he's going to be happy where he's going?"

Athena nodded. "I know he will be."

"Do you know where?" Christopher asked hopefully.

"I'm sorry but I don't," Athena said. "I wish I did but Buck never wrote where he's heading. I guess he doesn't want anyone to know just yet."

"If I could hug him I would," Carla said. Her expression was a mix of fury and sorrow. "Poor guy's been dealing with this all alone except for someone who he must've been talking with online or through the phone."

Athena nodded. "And a firehouse needing a last teammate could be anywhere. We've got nothing to go on yet. Buck said he'd call me when he got wherever he's going though, which could be a day or two from now."

Carla nodded. "I had no idea this was going on. I should've been suspicious when Buck stopped coming around but I never thought anything of it."

"It's not your fault," Athena reassured her. "Maddie and I never thought anything of it either. Buck, the sweetheart, he didn't want to hurt our happiness so he sacrificed his. At least Buck had his mystery friend to help him…"

"And he finally realized he deserves happiness too," Carla added. "That boy has a heart of gold but he needs to start considering the reflection in the mirror as a person too if you know what I mean."

Athena nodded. "Yes he does… Maddie and I are going to meet up at the firehouse, do you and Christopher want to join us?"

Christopher replied immediately, "Yeah! I wanna see why Dad said Buck can't come visit."

Carla let out a soft hum. "Alright, we'll come along. There are some things I want to say to Eddie anyway."

A small smirk graced Athena's lips at that. "Then this is gonna be one hell of a confrontation."

•••

Buck hummed to himself as he drove, fingers tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the song on the radio.

He was a good nine hours away from Los Angeles at that point, having left the night before, stopped to sleep after four hours then started up again early in the morning. The afternoon sunlight lit up the world around him and Buck felt peaceful. He still had around eleven hours to go but he planned to arrive in Austin late that night or early the next day depending on food and bathroom breaks, as well as sleeping time with the change in time zone.

Honestly, Buck was excited. He still felt guilty for leaving the home he adored but he just couldn't bring himself to stay any longer. Besides, he had someone waiting for him where he was going and he knew he wouldn't be alone. It was decided that Buck would be staying in the Strand household. He'd tried to protest to that but neither Alexander, TK nor their dad would have any of it. They had room—though he would be sleeping with Alexander, not that he minded—and they wanted to be sure Buck felt at home in a new city.

Buck admitted he'd kind of lost any will to argue after that.

Captain Owen Strand wanted to meet him before hiring him but the captain himself had said it was more of a formality than actual interview. He'd heard enough about Buck from Alexander and Buck had sent his resume online before leaving LA so it wasn't much of a question that Buck would be hired.

He looked forward to meeting the team of the 126, even if he didn't join them. Alexander's description made them all sound amazing. And the Fire Fox was part of it! Buck was excited for the possibility to meet the woman, the videos on her social media were incredible.

The ringing of his phone distracted him. Buck put in the call on speaker and set it in the cup holder next to him, a smile on his lips as he refocused on the road ahead of him, doing his best to ignore the pain that shot through his leg.

"How's the road trip?" came Alexander's voice.

"Kinda lonely," Buck replied. "But it's going pretty good otherwise. I've been getting a lot of calls and texts from the 118 wondering where I am."

"You didn't tell them?"

Buck let out a small sigh. "I left letters in my apartment. Someone will find them. Maddie and Athena will know what's been going on and my old team will hopefully see how bad they hurt me. And Christopher…"

"He'll want you to be happy, Evan," Alexander said softly. "Everyone will."

"I know," Buck murmured. "I want to be happy."

"You deserve it, Evan. You matter just as much as everyone else. It's alright to be selfish sometimes."

Buck smiled dryly. "It doesn't feel alright."

A sharp laugh echoed from the phone and Alexander replied, "Does it ever?"

"I guess it doesn't," Buck said. There was a long silence before Buck asked, "Alex?"

"Yeah?"

Buck hesitated before the whispering, "Thank you. For everything you've done for me."

"Of course," Alexander replied instantly. "It's what you do for people you care about. Until forever, Evan."

"Until forever," Buck said with a smile and a warm flutter in his chest. "I'll be there soon."

Alexander chuckled softly. "I'm waiting."