"Morning" he whispers running his fingers through her hair, she yawns tiredly "Keeping your up already?"
"No" she whines biting her lip "I'm tired I am growing your sprog"
"I know you are and I couldn't be more proud of you" he pecks her on the forehead as she lets out a yawn again
Carla stretched out alongside Peter. She was worried about today as she was going into work for the first time this week. Peter had told her to. She was sceptical about leaving him as all she had been doing was working at home during his recovery but he wanted her to go in today and it wasn't because he didnt value her company, he could just tell that she missed Underworld. He didnt know what the future would hold there but on the promise that she took it easy he wanted her to go just to get out of the house. Peter had been researching things behind Carla's back and he was worried about how she was going to take to him suggesting things especially to do with the pregnancy. He wanted this entire occasion to be different from what it was like before. He wanted to be hands-on and he didnt really know how Carla would take to it as she was fiercely independent and had been the last time she was pregnant.
"Here" Peter smiles as Carla picks up the bacon sandwich "Feeding you up for a change"
"You're not still mad at me are ya?" she giggles taking a bite of her sandwich "Because I kept stuffing your gob with choccies?"
"They were nice though"
"I told you I had good taste" she grins, he rolls his eyes
"Expensive taste more like" he leans in to peck her on the lips "So we have rules don't we?"
"Yes, we do. Nothing too strenuous, I come back home for my lunch break and you aren't going to overly smother me"
"That wasn't one of the rules. You're the mother of my unborn child if I want to spoil you I will spoil you"
"Just don't be too overbearing. I promise I will stop if things get too much and if I get overly tired as I want this so much"
"You wanted all of me last night"
"We'll use hormones as an excuse there" she bites her lip as she blushes "I shouldn't really be using you in that way not during your recovery"
"It's not like I was complaining" he shrugs, she bites her lip "What?"
"Oh you know what it doesn't matter" she bites her lip, Peter frowns following her eyeline and walking over to the fruit bowl, he picks up a pineapple
"This?"
"Mhm," she nods rubbing her forehead "No I am not giving in, it'll burn my tongue and...no"
"Is this your first craving?" he questions trying to downplay his excitement but Carla just raises her eyebrows at his little outburst
"Oh who knows" she mutters standing up and placing her plate in the dishwasher, Peter brings her in for a hug "I'll be fine today, I promise you"
"Be careful ok? We don't want to run any risks" he kisses her on the tip of her nose, she giggles "Do you need me to do anything else for you?"
"You could book me a doctors appointment" she shrugs, Peter nods slowly "Or at least try because I don't know if you can do that on behalf of me"
"Either way when you come back here for lunch we can do it together hm?"
"What's all of this about?" she questions gesturing to his whole body "All of this we're all in this together malarkey"
"I just want to be involved, hands-on if you must" Peter shrugs, Carla narrows her eyes and folds her arms across her chest
"You've been researching haven't you?"
"No..." he trails off sheepishly, she raises her eyebrows "Ok maybe a little..."
"I don't mind baby" she softens her expression, he nods slowly "But you do realise with the history of my health. I just don't want you getting too excited and that your research may not be accurate to this pregnancy. God, I hate to be that person, sorry-"
"It's fine Carla" he assures her, she sighs and nods biting her lip "I'm just excited, it'll wear off soon"
"Yeah, I bet it will when I have my head stuck down that bog. I already feel queasy enough thinking about it" she mutters, he chuckles watching her collect her bag
"Do you want a lift?"
"Do you not understand the meaning of recovery?"
"I'll take that as a no then"
"You will indeed" she pecks him on the lips "I hate to leave you"
"You need to go otherwise you will be late" he shakes his head playfully, poking her on the nose "I'll see you in a few hours"
"Alright then" she pecks him on the lips one last time "Bye baby"
"Bye" he whispers watching her get in the car and drives off, he sighs thoughtfully not really knowing what to do with his day until something came to mind...
Carla spent the morning at work, it was mundane, boring and tiring for her on top of the pregnancy which seemed to be making her exhausted. In a way, she was happy to go home for lunch and see Peter as they were definitely in their after-marriage-honeymoon phase as she liked to call it. In a way, she wished it would never change but that was another thing in her life that was uncertain. She stopped off at Roy's to collect an iced finger as she really wanted something sweet to give her a bit of a sugar rush, or she hoped that it would anyway. Carla arrived back home to the patio doors open and she frowned immediately confused as to why Peter was sitting in the garden on a blanket. Playfully she lobbed a grape at him from the punnet she had picked up from the fridge on the way out there, he scowled at her.
"It's just a grape"
"Yeah the posh ones which you're wasting"
"There's no such thing as posh grapes" she scoffs sitting down on the blanket with him, he brings her in for a massive bear hug
"I got them from the market when I went for that walk"
"You getting all sentimental over grapes, god what are you going to be like when this baby makes an appearance" she sniggers, Peter pecks her on the lips "Oh did you phone the doctors?"
"Yeah an appointment around five is ok isn't it?" he questions, she nods eagerly "They had a cancellation tomorrow so I said because of your medical history it would be best to get you seen as soon as"
"Good idea" she nods pulling out her lunch box and eating her sandwich, Peter pulls a face "What?"
"Why did you take your lunch when you would be coming back here?"
"In case I get peckish" she shrugs "Trust me I am so hungry at the moment"
"Yeah I can tell by the way you're devouring your tuna and mayo" he rolls his eyes, she pouts her lip and then shoves the rest of her sandwich in her mouth, she picks up the paper bag that contained her ice finger "Oh great you're just going to be a pig aren't you?"
"I'm carrying your child Peter I'd be careful what you say"
"Or what?" he scoffs poking her in the side of the head
"Or...um...no sex" she shrugs, he raises his eyebrows "What?"
"You wouldn't even last a week"
"Uh yeah I would" she scoffs "I lasted ages since Adam, the next time I had sex was with you matey"
"Yeah but with all these hormones in your body...you probably wouldn't last a day"
"Oh wind your neck in" she groans eating her iced bun "I could sleep for eternity you know"
"Don't go back to work then?"
"What excuse would I use, plus it's likely I'll have to take time off in the future. I don't want to annoy Sarah anymore than I need to"
"Don't work too hard or be honest with her" he shrugs, she pulls a face
"Why would I do that?" she questions incredulously, Peter frowns
"Well she can't tell anyone"
"Oh yeah because I really want to risk that don't I? No one can know until I am too big to hide" she reminds him poking him in the cheek "That means no letting slip, I know what you're like"
"I won't let slip. The excitement will wear off" he grins, she laughs slightly and hums "You need to get off to work"
"What were you even doing out here?" she questions, Peter frowns "It's unlike you"
"If you must know I was meditating"
"Meditating?" she questions trying to suppress her laughter, he nods "Seriously?"
"It's good for the mind, helps clear it. You should try it"
"I was actually thinking about taking up yoga, pregnancy style yoga, relaxation is going to be my motto this time around"
"Couples yoga?"
"Oh no, no, no" she shakes her head frowning "You'd get too worked up when I'm in my gym leggings and sports bra, all that tight material will make you drool"
"We could always get a round in now?"
"No, I'm going off to work. You act like you're buying a round for everyone at the pub" she pats his cheek and stands up lobbing her bag onto her shoulder "Be good don't do anything too strenuous please"
"Yes Nurse Carla"
"Button it" she points at him before leaving the house, he laughs knowing that their future was looking so, so bright right now...
After an afternoon at work Carla was finally relieved to be free of it at the end of the day. She had Jenny wittering on about how she wanted Carla to come for a drink with her and Daisy but Carla gracefully declined as she just wanted to go home and put her feet up with Peter and let him spoil her and the fact that she wasn't drinking would be a huge giveaway. She arrived home to Peter cooking dinner, she wrapped her arms around his neck and he kissed her before bending down and kissing her tummy causing her to roll her eyes. Yes she was worried about losing the baby but seeing Peter in such high spirits she let it slide but she knew she had to be stern with him eventually but she also didnt want to ruin the mood with the possibility of an argument.
"Are you ok?" he questions taking her hand, she bites her lip and nods "Hmm not buying it"
"Yeah I'm just thinking," she says quietly closing her eyes "About the future, more so the near future"
"Right" he places his fork down on his plate, she looks into his eyes "What about it?"
"I'm just worried about you"
"About me? I'm fine Carla" he assures her, she sighs and shakes her head "What makes you think that I'm not ok?"
"It's not that I don't think you're ok and I know you would tell me if you weren't because of this" she taps her wedding ring, Peter nods "But I just think you're getting your hopes up about the pregnancy. I haven't had a scan yet, we haven't even been to the doctors yet and I just feel you're getting your hopes up. Sorry"
"Right" he nods taking his plate over to the dishwasher before collecting hers "We need to speak don't we?"
"Yeah, I don't want to but it's just making me uneasy. Maybe I'm being insecure-"
"Oh no sweetheart" he assures her bringing her in for a hug and then taking her upstairs into the bedroom, they curl up on the bed together and she rests her head on his chest "I just want to look to the future I guess, I don't really like the past if I'm honest apart from meeting you because you're my world"
"Keep the compliments coming" she chuckles against his chest
"Anyway, I guess I'm just excited, another baby in the family and the possibility of that, extending the Barlow's-"
"And the Connors"
"Never in a million years when I saw the Connor's on the street did I think I would be married to one"
"Jealous were you?"
"No" he scoffs, she turns to face him and raises her eyebrows "It's just that life has its unexpected moments doesn't it?"
"I guess so, yes"
"So I think we should take this pregnancy as one of those moments because these unexpected moments can either end in a good way or a bad way and I know that but from what I've learnt through this whole recovery process is that the more you think about the good way the more likely it will end up that way"
"Right"
"For example the transplant, you kept me hoping didnt you that I'd get that call sooner rather than later and it happened quicker than the expected time and it was a positive outcome wasn't it?"
"Well yes you are alive and on the mend" she links her fingers through his "I get what you're saying and I guess I'm just scared internally about losing it, my age and having a baby at...sorry" she wipes her eyes, he kisses her on the top of the head
"Is there anything else that's bothering you?" he questions sensing there was something else there that she wasn't letting out
"I just don't want to hurt you"
"Speak to me" he ruffles her hair and she sighs and nods
"You know when I slept with Adam?"
"Yes" Peter responds rather stiffly knowing it was very much a sore point but he listens
"And you said all of those things to me about not being a mother and all that" she looks up at him seeing the pained expression on his face
"What I said Carla...it meant nothing you know that right?"
"Even still sometimes those words circle in my head and they have done more so now I'm up the stick"
"Thank you for being honest," he says into her head, she nods slowly and smiles to herself "I know my words will always be in your head and I will forever hate that you had to hear all of that but I just want you to know that this is going to be ok alright? This is going to be different this time around and if you want to ever speak to me about the words I said I will be here to reassure you because I love you and want you to feel comfortable in our relationship"
"Thank you" she nods leaning up to kiss him "I might grab an early night, I feel rather groggy and tired actually"
"Would you like a hot water bottle?"
"Yeah alright," she says getting up and heading into the bathroom, he goes downstairs and returns with her hot water bottle and places it in the covers as she gets into bed "Thanks baby"
"No problem" he whispers kissing her on the head "Try and get some sleep ok?"
"I will, don't worry," she says quietly pressing the hot water bottle onto her tummy, he massages her scalp to help her on her way to her sleep, he kisses her one last time on the head making sure she was fully asleep before heading into the bathroom to get ready for bed himself...
The next morning Peter woke to an empty bed, he yawned tiredly before sighing at the heaving noises coming from the bathroom, this was it, this was the start of it. He made his way into the bathroom and bent down to scoop Carla's hair back from her face so she could be sick with ease and not have to worry about it but unfortunately no matter how hard she tried she still got sick in it. She looked ever so tired, the dark circles around her eyes and Peter could tell she had zero to no sleep that morning. He began to run the shower for her and take the head off, she slumps onto the floor by the bath and allows Peter to wash her hair for her and finalising it with wrapping it up in a towel.
"Come here" he whispers helping her up off the floor, she wraps her arms around his body and lets out a few tears "I know sweetheart, it's so hard, I know"
"I'm so tired" she cries into his chest, he rubs her back for her and she closes her eyes "I feel rubbish"
"I know you do, I know," he says quietly, she just uses his shirt to wipe her eyes "I want to go back to bed"
"Do you need me to go and see Sarah tell her you're not coming in? Or ring her?"
"No" she shakes her head "I'll do it"
"Ok" he nods kind of shocked she wasn't protesting to go into work "Just say you're going to work from home"
"Good idea" she nods biting her lip "Can I use you as an excuse?"
"Of course" Peter nods as she calls Sarah, he goes downstairs and picks up the bucket and something plain for Carla to eat as he didnt want her to feel any worse than she did already, he returns to her already curled up in bed "Here"
"Thanks," she says quietly, he gets in with her hand drapes his arm over her middle to rub her tummy "That's helping"
"Good" he kisses her on the back of the head "This is happening then?"
"Hmm god save us" she laughs slightly as Peter continues to rub her tummy "We have until nine don't we hopefully, it will clear up by then"
"Yeah, cross fingers?" he shows her his fingers and she giggles raising her hand and showing him that her fingers were crossed "There are some crackers there which might help with settling your stomach"
"Hmm thanks" she nods picking up the packet and taking little bites from them "I might go and sit in the garden, fresh air might do me the world of good"
"Need me there?"
"If you wouldn't mind," she says fanning the air towards her "I'm so hot"
"It's just the baby messing with you" he assures her, she sighs and nods tiredly walking down the stairs and into the garden, she lies out on the blanket allowing the morning sun to warm her skin, he lies beside her "I'll set a timer for nine"
"Ta," she says quietly turning into his body as the sun beams down onto them both, he kisses her on the head watching her fall asleep again, thats when he thought of a plan...
Carla was stretching her legs and she realised she was still outside. Somehow it managed to do her the world of good and she felt better, rested and less nauseous, at least now they had a temporary cure for her sickness and now she knew it was going to probably be a pregnancy from hell as she hadn't really experienced sickness to this extent before. Carla checked the time and gasped realising she should have been working for a couple of hours now, she rushed into the house and saw Peter sitting at the dining room laptop with her laptop, she frowned and took it off him seeing that he had completed all of her invoices for her.
"How did you?"
"I did used to work there, I just thought I'd take the strain off. You can check them if you want?"
"I am, they look perfect," she says in disbelief "Thank you so much"
"No problem gave me something to do eh?" he grins walking over to the kettle "Brew?"
"Mint one?" she questions, Peter holds up a teabag of peppermint tea "Perfect, thanks"
"How was your sleep?"
"Good I feel revitalised, less nauseous it can only go up from here can't it?"
"It can" he confirms, she yawns tiredly still trying to wake herself up "Do you want any biscuits?"
"I'm good," she says taking the mug of tea off him and sitting on the sofa, he sits beside her and strokes her hair "God I'm knackered I haven't even done anything"
"Thats what growing a baby does for you," he says "You look like you have more colour in you now"
"I probably have a slight tan to go with it" she grins "I'll tell you something though I love having a garden. Free fresh air all the time, it's just amazing"
"Hm it is, and actual greenery unlike my dad's back yard"
"True" she nods slowly "We're going to need a lawnmower at some point as well"
"Yeah we can worry about that later though" he assures her, she sighs stretching her arms "What do you want for dinner tonight?"
"Something plain might be a good idea"
"I'll have a think," he says into her head, she wraps her arms around his middle "You're very cuddly today"
"I'm craving affection for some reason"
"Well I'll be here to provide you with that" he kisses her on the head as she hums quietly "I'm guessing we're having a lazy evening then?"
"Got it in one but I should probably send some emails to Sarah and thank you once more for doing those invoices for me"
"I told you its fine love, as long as you take it easy and you were taking it easy by napping in sun so I just helped you out so you could rest"
"Well, you didn't have to do that did ya? But thank you so much"
"No problem now get some rest ok?"
"I'll tell you something I could kill for a foot massage" she looks up at him, he rolls his eyes and picks her legs up placing them on his lap "I should pay you"
"Anything to make your life easier," he says as Carla yawns "Are you going to be up to going to the doctors?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm feeling better now anyway"
"Good, I'm glad" he mumbles into her head "You're not worrying about later are you?"
"I'm trying not to think about it if I'm honest" she smiles up at him "So if you could stop going on about it I would appreciate that"
"My lips are sealed" he smirks, she rolls her eyes going into the kitchen to get a glass of water
"I just hope everything's ok"
"Me too, love, me too"
Soon the time came for them to go to the doctor and Carla was so nervous. Peter was there to support her but somehow she just couldn't shift the feelings of anxiety. Another thing that contributed to her feeling this way was bumping into Ken on the way to the medical centre causing them to spin some lie about how they were going there for a check-up on Peter's scar. That seemed to do the trick though and Ken was more than convinced on that subject matter. She just hoped and prayed that everything would be ok.
"Stop fidgeting"
"I can't help it!" she hisses, he places a hand on her thigh "I just hate all this"
"I know you do," he says softly running his fingers through her hair
"I just want it to be over with" she grunts in annoyance, Peter kisses her on the side of the head
"Carla Barlow?"
"Come on," he says as she stands up, he slides his arm around her middle as they head into the consultation room
"The receptionist has informed me of everything" the doctor smiles, Carla glances at Peter looking rather confused
"Yeah um, I told them in case she didn't need an appointment but with her complex medical history…"
"It's important that you get checked over because of your medical history"
"Will my kidney…damage it?"
"Not at all, it may be a strain on your body but there's no reason to worry. Transplant recipients can have a totally normal pregnancy and carry to full term"
"Full term? So it may not be full term?"
"I don't want to worry you both but it's likely that premature birth could occur"
"Great" Carla mutters standing up and pacing the room, Peter stands up and brings her in for a hug
"Carla there's every chance that you can carry to full term even go past full-term" the doctor assures her she sighs and nods "We also need to talk a bit about the mental side of things"
"So there more complications?!"
"We just need to talk about the possibility of a relapse"
"Peter" she stresses he holds her gently and buries her has into his chest, he tilts her face up to his and pecks her gently on the lips
"Let's just listen" he suggests, she nods sadly sitting down with him again, he takes her hand and squeezes it
"Because of the possibility of you relapsing down to the pregnancy, we would want to offer you support throughout your pregnancy and at the beginning of it when the baby is born. You could be more likely to develop mental health issues after the pregnancy even if you don't have any problems during the pregnancy"
"Such as?" Carla presses obviously very scared of this whole thing as she really didnt expect it
"Postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis" the doctor lists, Carla closes her eyes "I just want to be honest with you both"
"We appreciate it," Peter says quietly looking at his wife who was on the verge of tears with panic "Could we maybe have a few minutes? If you're not too busy..."
"Of course" the doctor nods excusing themselves, Peter turns to Carla who was wiping her eyes, he bends down in front of her and takes her hands
"Look at me" Peter whispers turning her head gently by her chin "Tell me what you're thinking?"
"I don't want to be ill again" she admits, Peter nods slowly hanging onto every word that she says "I just...I really want this baby. Gosh, that's crazy to admit and...I just don't want anything to go wrong"
"It might not go wrong" he considers, she nods slowly allowing his hands to mould around hers that were clasped in her lap "You'll be monitored, there will be special things in place won't there. If you get ill, mentally ill, I know the signs now so I'll be on it like a flash if I notice something isn't right"
"Yeah I guess" she nods slowly feeling a little more reassured about it "We need to try, don't we? I just want this to work"
"Yeah, we need to try" he nods with a small smile "It may be the only chance we get and I think we should take it don't you?"
"Yeah I really want this" she confirms, he nods biting his lip before pecking her on the lips "I love you"
"I love you too and whatever happens I'll be there by your side"
"I know you will, this time will be different, better, I can just sense it"
The doctor came back in and booked Carla in with her kidney doctor and that just made the whole thing even scarier for her. The doctor suggested she had a slightly earlier scan and that they c She was petrified and she was so scared of the future all of a sudden and she wished that she could just have it easy for once but there was also something that she was determined about and that was making this a positive. Carla kept telling herself that she was going to be a mother at the end of this and that she and Peter were going to be a family with Simon and the baby and everything was going to be ok because it had to be. She wasn't taking no for an answer and when she had that mindset Peter saw her confidence surge and it was amazing to see her in such high spirits over the uncertainty due to the pregnancy.
"You seem happier" he observes, she nods in response grinning at him "Confident almost. It's good to see"
"Yeah well" she shrugs "No point in worrying is there until something happens otherwise this whole thing will just be stressful and I'll snap and get worked up"
"That's true, we all know you like to overthink things"
"And that stops now, I am fed up with my thoughts dictating my life Peter. I'm taking control of them and I'm going to ride above all the negative ones because the positive ones are what count"
"You're right" he smiles softly at her preparing lunch for tomorrow, he brings her in for a hug and she hooks her arms up and under his arms resting her hands flat on his back "I don't want you to worry sweetheart, I just want you to enjoy it. This is meant to be the good bit, isn't it? We're going to be parents, I just have that feeling inside of me that this is going to work this time"
"Well I hope so" she nods with a cheeky grin "How are you anyway? I feel bad today's been all about me and I haven't asked how you are"
"I'm great, more than great" he confirms, she giggles slightly and nods "I was thinking maybe next week I could do a shift at Streetcars, a shift on the switch. Just one to start off with to see how I go"
"I think that's a good idea" she nods pecking him on the lips "As long as you come home and rest if you get tired, you're still recovering remember?"
"I will, I promise. There's only so much rest and relaxation I can do"
"Well, I'm with you with whatever you want to do as long as you come away if it gets too hard. I feel the same as well but it's important to let your body recover baby" she mumbles into his shoulder breathing in the scent of his aftershave
"Just like its important for you to rest as well when it gets too much. You look exhausted"
"I am" she breathes out "Which is why I'm getting this sorted and then going to nap in the sun again as it does me the world of good breathing in the fresh air"
"Do you want me to lay with you?" he offers and she hums thoughtfully, nodding "Come on then"
"Hmm" she nods allowing him to lead her into the garden, he places the blanket down on the grass and she lies on it resting her head on his chest rolling up her top and biting her lip "I still can't believe it"
"Me neither, we just have to hold on in there. We also need to take you for a blood test tomorrow, we'll have a husband and wife date to the pathology department"
"So romantic" she rolls her eyes and allows Peter to run his hand over her stomach gently "I can't wait until it's actually visible you know"
"Hm I can't wait until it moves," he says, she giggles and nods "Did you ever feel anything last time?"
"I can't really remember" she shrugs, he massages her scalp and she lets out a yawn and stretches "We'll just have to see won't we?"
"What do you reckon it is?"
"Peter" she giggles looking up at him "I'm only like a month gone I can't really base my prediction off anything can I?"
"I know what we should do" he beams as she sits upright watching him head into the house and grabbing paper and a pen along with an envelope "You don't have to tell me but let's write our predictions down here and put it in the envelope"
"What and then open it when the baby is here?"
"Or if you want to find out the gender because I don't mind on that front we can open them then"
"Alright" she nods with a little giggle ripping some of the paper off, she turns away from him so he could use her back to write on "Done?"
"Yep" he places his prediction into the envelope then turns around so she could do hers, she puts it in the envelope as well
"I guess it adds something fun to it" she shrugs, he laughs slightly and pulls her onto his lap, she straddles him "I think the future looks good don't you?"
"Yeah" he nods "I do"
"Now I say we go indoors" she smirks kissing him on the lips, he pulls away and raises his eyebrows
"I thought I was meant to be recovering"
"Well a girl has needs, especially as she's carrying your child which is making her rather horny"
"Yeah right" he scoffs "That's just you"
"I'd be careful what you say" she whispers pecking him on the lips, he moves her so she was lying on the blanket, her legs draped over his body "Here? What about the neighbours-"
"Just be quiet" he presses a finger to her lips, she raises her eyebrows and laughs slightly shaking her head as he kisses her, all she knew was that this would be an interesting experience...