Coming back as we are

"Come on you knew he wouldn't show up", Kate was standing at the airport saying goodbye to Lanie who drove her to the airport. Over the last she had to say goodbye a lot, to her father, the boys and Captain Gates. Every time felt bitter sweet, well after the drinks, that served as a farewell, she had with Lanie, Espo and Ryan she let the temptation win and contacted Castle.

Sure it was just a text asking if he would like to join them, she had hoped the casual invite would sway him to come, that way she'd have a chance to talk to him

For days she thought about how and if she should contact him, it was a nagging feeling that with her approaching departure grew. As expected he didn't text her back, so after the dinner with her father two days prior, she called him. This time she asked to meet him somewhere to talk, or well to say goodbye, because before they were a couple, they were close friends and realizing that she lost both, the man she loves and her best friend, was just not acceptable.

So she tried it with calls that always send her straight to voicemail and text left unanswered.

Just before she left this morning she called him one time and this time the call was answered, by a very strained sounding Martha.

"Katherine dear I think it's plainly obvious that he doesn't want to talk, I whish he would but that's beside the point" he really put up an effort in ignoring her, too bad that she was stubborn too. "Kate I really am sorry at what happened between you and my son" Beckett could tell that she was being sincere still she had a reason for calling.

"I'd just like to tell him I'm sorry and that I'm leaving today", telling Martha what she wanted to tell him wasn't right, she knew that, so she kept it short and to the point.

Pushing any lingering reluctance away she added that her flight was leaving at 12 pm, and she'd like the chance to see him before she leaves.

Reluctant his mother agreed to pass the message but reminded her that it was unlikely that he would show up.

Beckett figured as much even though as much as she is a rationalist she couldn't quell the small ember of hope that she might get a chance to see him.

Now standing at the airport having already checked in, that hope was slowly dwindling.

"Lanie I know that it's unlikely, but he is first of all, or rather was my partner, I had to try." She tried hard to leave the emotions out of her voice, but Lanie saw through that and just looked at her knowingly.

Yes she probably was just trying to convince herself, but to her Castle's status as her partner was the only thing left.

Looking at her watch she accepted the bitter truth that he wouldn't show, because now she had to board, or her flight would be leaving without her. Which she realized she wouldn't mind as much, ignoring the small voice of her heart, she listened to her mind and hugged Lanie in a fierce embrace. And saying goodbye one more time.

She'd miss all of them and she'd miss New York, it's been years since she lived anywhere else. DC was laying ahead and she was sure that DC will be great, her new job will be great. Everything will be...great.

The days since they last saw each other were an emotional rollercoaster for him. He fought with himself, being totally torn. Yes the first few days he was angry and feeling justified in his anger, blaming her for everything just seemed easier.

He snapped out of his mood by realizing what his attitude had caused his family to behave like around him.

Before Alexis's departure, his daughter worried and cared for him. She made sure that he went out for some fresh air and to eat properly. Because she noticed that he let all that slide, in favour of holing up and brooding in his office. She made sure that he wouldn't fall entirely down the rabbit hole. His daughter proved to be his safety net.

Which now a few weeks later he was extremely grateful for, still it made him see that he had been a reliability during those few weeks. Castle wanted to make it up to them with some quality family time.

His mother, after Alexis left for Costa Rica took over the reigns and both of them had to promise Alexis to well, behave. His little pumpkin had been the parent far too often for his liking.

Castle made good on his promise and even though he still felt a kindling sort of anger he tamed it and focused on the present.

He went out on regular walks and made sure to avoid places like that coffee shop they frequented. That first day after drinking way too much he took that walk and saw her leaving with he supposed was Lanie. She tried to hide among the crowds tying to blend in but he could always feel her presence way before he saw her.

Even without his knowledge his eyes sought her out, for the brief moment that his eyes landed on her he noticed her stiff posture and if she would have looked up he knew that her gaze would hold a carefully guarded sadness. Some wouldn't see it but he knew her tells.

He wasn't the only one hurt and even though he loathed himself for it, it satisfied him on some level. To see that this affected her just as well as it was him made this a shared heartbreak.

He could have stopped and could have talked to her, but pride is a peculiar thing.

Even though he heard his mother's voice admonishing him for taking the coward's way out, he kept walking, like he didn't even notice her.

The loft was starting to feel stifling especially with Alexis gone, he didn't have the best of distractions around, so his walks became longer and slowly shifted into jogs.

During the time when he went jogging, he forgot all about his writer's block and the reason for said writer's block. It felt strangely freeing. Because he was now in a position to make choices that are good for him, a priority that was long since over due. He started to feel good again but one text from her and he was pulled back to almost three weeks ago.

After being told by his mother that Kate was leaving today caused an inner war with himself break out.

Of course he missed her, they had been happy together. As much as they had meant to each other they had hurt one another just as much.

He is not sure if he was willing to take that risk again.

He warred with himself all day, alternating between brooding and trying to distract himself, while not paying attention to the hours that passed. Only cnce the sun began to set, did he realize he was too late.

He drank the last sip of his coffee and was just gazing out the window, lost in his thoughts.

A lot has happened over the past few month, a lot of things changed in his life, but it seems his the pull he always felt towards Kate Beckett, didn't get the memo. It angered him that after everything she still holds that power over him.

Even through the bitterness he wouldn't deny that he missed her. Her laugh, her smile, hell even the way she rolled her eyes after letting her be privy to one of his Castle- esque theories.

He knew that the annoyance she directed at him was just for show, because she would smile at him, with a witty respond on her lips.

The writer completely lost himself in thoughts of his muse, later he would hate himself for being so sentimental.

Finally breaking his gaze, his eyes flickered to the innocent cell phone lying on the table. Paying for the coffee he went up and out of the coffee shop.

Maybe his mother was right, they had to talk. Not because he regretted their break up but after everything he felt that they deserved a good ending.

While looking up her number his mind went back to that engagement ring still residing in his office. That thought cut him open once more, with the ring in mind, he thought of 'what if?', before pressing the call button.

She was just about try and settle down in her mostly empty apartment, when her phone beeped signaling its need to be charged.

She rummaged through her luggage to get her charger but she must have misplaced it. Shrugging she made a mental note to later look for it again.

She took a look around and took in her new surroundings, so this is her home now.

Her view out the window is so unlike the city skyline that it seves as a stark reminder, that really isn't in New York anymore.

She didn't grew up in the suburbs so having a lawn and a small garden outside your apartment, was quite the new sight for her. A lot has changed For now and the reminder feels a little unsettling.

But she is sure that with time, she'll adapt.

Her phone ringing pulled her out of her reverie. Turning from the spot where she stood she made her way towards the small kitchen isle where she left her phone.

At seeing who called her she frowned and a feeling of unrest started to take over her mind.

He didn't show up at the airport, but he is calling her now. Beckett wasn't what to make of it. Maybe it was some sort of middle ground, maybe it really was unfair of her that she asked to see him like that. Maybe-.

Stopping her train of thought she pulled her focus back to the still ringing device, without further wondering about it, she picked up.

Silence, neither of them said something, till he broke the silence.

"Kate?"

"Yes?"

"Hi"

"Hi", she echoed momentarily unable to formulate more than one word.

"This used to be more easy"

"Yes, once", now she pressed two words out, but how can she manage an easy flowing conversation? "Sorry, it's just I'm caught off guard I guess"

"I know the feeling, your messages surprised me too, didn't know what to make of them"

Biting her lip she swallowed down the slight sting his words caused, they were true after all. Never before did she make the first move. This was new territory.

"I guess I deserved that", she paused trying to formulate in her mind what she wants to say, "Look Castle I'm glad you called, you deserve more than just 'I'm sorry' but I really am, sorry"

He was silent for a while to gather his thoughts.

"Over the last few weeks I thought a lot about that you know?"

"What do you mean?"

"About what I deserve Kate"

"Yes I kind of figured, that you wanted more I mean, don't get wrong you deserve more", That man deserves everything, it's just disheartening that she couldn't give that to him.

"That's a loaded statement"

"Yes well it all feels pretty loaded to me"

"Touche" he let out a breathy chuckle

"What happens now?"

He truly didn't know but the image of the engagement ring, his mind created still taunted him. Showing him what he wants to do.

"I want to talk, and before you say anything I mean in person"

Closing her mouth she let her remark slide, "Yes I think that would be good" But surely she can't leave now, she just got here, right?

"I'll be on the next flight to New York"

"Beckett I didn't want to imply-"

"I know", she cut him off "But I want to", her determination didn't leave room for arguments.

"I'll call you when I land"

"Okay I guess I'll see you soon than", this change of events is unexpected but all things aside he really is looking forward to seeing her again.

"Yes, see you soon, bye",

"Bye", he almost missed her small added words of "and thank you", before hanging up.

In a rush she put everything back in her suitcase, cursing her phone because now it was almost dead.

He felt anxious since their phone call, he tries to remain level-headed, but checking his phone every ten minutes made that quite impossible.

It's true that she hurt him and disregarded their relationship, but he wants to hear her side of the story. Because he really doesn't know why she did what she did.

Keeping that in mind he calmed down to some degree.

At some point he made himself dinner, eating by himself, due to his mother being god knows where.

Cleaning the dishes and putting the leftovers away he checked his phone but had received aside from Alexis sending a picture of Costa Rica, no new messages.

Banning the doubts from his mind he made himself comfortable in the living room.

A while later a soft knocking woke him, out of a sweet slumber, he must have dosed off after talking with Alexis.

The knocking sound repeated.

Standing up he went to answer the door. Opening the door he was met with a sight of an insecure looking Kate Beckett.

"Sorry, my phone died, so I ah- just came straight here"

"I can see that" He motioned for her to come in but she refused holding her hand up.

"Rick just let me say this" she looked him in the eye hers conveying such depth, "I am sorry, it's a lame apology but I'm not good with words-"

"It's okay I know" at her slight arch eyebrow he added, "I mean I know what you want to say"

"You're not that bad with words", he teased

"Thank you?", sobering she turned serious again.

"Castle? I –" stopping herself she took a step towards him, reaching out she gently put her hands against his stomach, when she looked up his eyes clouded, a stony mask was put into place. "This job Castle,in DC it never was a better option, I just thought it was the only option, that you didn't see a future for us".

"Well I did! You can't just assume something like that!" letting his temper flare up, in an attempt to make a point.

"Don't you go there!", she growled taking a small step back again, "Every attempt of talking with you about it failed!"

"Yes sorry that's on me, but seriously what in our relationship made you doubt us!"

Looking stunned, not having an answer at the hand, she shrugged, saying the first thing that she thought of.

"I just got the notion that our time was up, the music stopped, now it seems that I was wrong"

Regret and guilt consumed her, why couldn't they talk about these things, maybe without their subtext laced conversations, they would still be a couple.

"Yes very wrong", his posture deflated a little, it encouraged her to go on. Just not here not shouting at each other.

"You know since days I'm craving a strawberry milkshake, from Remy's, would you like to join me? My treat of course".

He knew what she wanted to convey and accepted the peace offering.

Leaving her luggage in the loft, they made their way to the elevator, the air between them has significantly lifted. It was a start.

No promises were made but it was clear that neither of them was willing to be a part from one another. A still timid but present, second chance was forming.

For Kate Beckett words hold significant meaning but her actions always spoke volumes, more than she could put into words, so when she chose to stay in New York, Rick Castle knew all about what that entails.

Still, they were working on being more open with one another. Day by day, they worked on rebuilding their trust in one another.

Walking comfortably side by side, she threw a sidewards glance at him. He changed a lot, even though he forgave her weeks ago, she still saw that something was preventing him to fully trust her again. He wanted to, he just couldn't yet.

His distrust in her commitment hurt her, knowing that she was the cause for that change in him.

So she took a page out of his book. Telling him, reminding him why she came back. The muse playfully nudged her writer to get his attention.

"I love you", she said with a smile, without a hint of hesitation in her voice.

The writer felt that she truly was making an effort, in trying to make him see that this time would be different. Her saying 'I love you' like that made him believe her.

Without further thinking he surprised her with bending down to kiss her. Kate didn't immediately respond to the kiss , but as the surprise melted away so did her heart, closing her eyes she kissed him back. Lacing her hands around his neck, she gently caressed his cheek, while letting herself being totally immersed in the kiss.

The kiss felt familiar and new, reminding him how much he missed kissing her.

It was a sweet kiss that left both of them in a happy state with twinkling eyes.

Again no promises were made, they aren't ready for that yet, but they were heading in the right direction.

After the kiss ended she knew that they had a chance.

A/N

So this is it, hopefully it didn't feel too rushed to you and that you enjoyed these three chapters. I loved reading your reviews and receiving the likes and follows, it really was exciting :)