"Hey, B." Buffy awoke to Faith gently shaking her.

"Faith?" Buffy sat up and frowned when she realized she was still on the couch, but Tara was no longer with her. The contrite look on Faith's face was also confusing and disorienting.

"Tara's putting your cure together." Faith rolled her neck and sat down. "Look. I know… I know I'm no good at this, but Tara is the best person I know."

"No argument here." That was one of the few things that Buffy knew to be true in any world.

"I know I've been kind of an asshole, but I just hate to see… I hate to see either of you hurting like this." Faith's eyes were downcast, and she was cracking her knuckles.

Buffy couldn't help the surprised gasp at what Faith was saying.

"So yeah - just… this is where you belong. OK? I'll be less shitty to you if that helps." Faith offered with a smirk.

Buffy chuckled, "I wouldn't want you to change. Things are confusing enough."

Faith laughed, "glad to see you're still in there, B."

"Can I ask you something?"

Faith nodded and leaned back into the couch.

"Did we really date? And you cheated on me - her?"

Faith grimaced, "well, I mean... You thought we were dating - I just thought it was the post-slay hornies we were dealing with."

"Ah." That actually made a lot of sense to Buffy. She couldn't imagine the chain of events that had led to Faith living with her - if it included what was likely a very painful break-up.

"So, are we cool?"

Buffy grinned and bumped shoulders with Faith. "Yeah, we're cool."

"Good, I miss slaying with you. Sucks wandering around graveyards by myself."

Buffy noticed how her body reacted to the idea of slaying with Faith. Even though they had only managed to work together a few times, she really enjoyed it when they did. Buffy couldn't help but hope they might get a chance to slay together before her Tara created the cure.

In that moment, Buffy realized that she couldn't remember the last time the idea of slaying filled her with anything but dread and annoyance. It took her only another few seconds to realize she knew exactly when the last time was.

Right before she discovered that Faith was a traitor. That was the last time she saw her calling in a positive light. Since then, slaying had become an annoying and impossible-to-quit job.

She found it amusing that initially, she had pretended to hate being a slayer - whereas now she truly did hate it but was doing her best to pretend like she didn't.

She could only hope this bit of introspection would be useful once things returned to normal.

"I'm gonna get out of your hair." Faith stood and started towards the stairs but then changed her mind. "What happened to me in the other dimension? Why am I - she in jail?"

"I was in a bad place when you arrived in Sunnydale." Buffy paled at the memory, "we didn't get along very well. There was an accident… and things just fell apart."

Faith crossed her arms over her chest. "Was I so evil that I needed to go to jail?"

"You got into a bad situation. Believe it or not - going to jail was your decision. Granted, your other options might not have been that great." Buffy wasn't sure why she was sugar-coating things. Or why she cared so much about what this Faith thought.

Faith looked away at that. It was clear how uncomfortable the younger slayer was. Buffy wasn't trying to embarrass her, but she wouldn't pass up this opportunity to talk to Faith. There were so many times that she wished she had handled things differently after the accident with the Deputy Mayor.

On the rare occasions that she lets herself think about Faith, she always blames Angel's arrival for making things so complicated. Most of the time, it works to assuage her guilt. She had been devastated, and Faith wasn't at all sympathetic. Of course, she never had the chance to be anything but suspicious of Angel when Buffy had been keeping so many secrets.

Buffy didn't even know if Angel had been part of her life in this reality. She was pretty sure she didn't want to know.

"I am really glad that things went better for you and us here."

Faith flushed with embarrassment and then quickly shut it down, "just hurry up and get better so you can slay with me again."

Buffy nodded, not trusting herself to speak out loud. As much as she really enjoyed this interaction and the possibility of slaying with Faith. She still knew it wasn't real and didn't want to lie about what would happen. The real Tara would eventually figure this out, and Buffy would never see this version of Faith again.

"Where is Tara?"

"She went to campus - she should be back soon." Faith turned to leave, but Buffy stopped her.

"Thank you, Faith."

"What for?"

"For taking care of Tara and just for being here."

"No sweat, B." Faith smiled widely, clearly appreciating the praise from Buffy. "Tara is good people."

"She really is," Buffy moved towards the stairs, but she realized there was something else she needed to know. "I heard you say that you thought Tara would be better off without me - her." Buffy does her best to keep eye contact, looking for any sign that Faith might lie. "Did you mean that? Do I not treat her right?"

Faith sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Nah, B. I was just kinda being an asshole. From what I can tell, you two are wicked happy together."

Buffy was relieved to hear this, but something about Faith's answer made her wonder. "Do you… Want to be with Tara?"

Faith's eyes widened at the accusation. "No way!" She vehemently shook her head. "Don't get me wrong, I'd totally be into spending the night with her. I just know I could never be faithful to her. I care about her way too much to let her get hurt like that."

Buffy was amazed by how easy it was to talk to Faith when she's not always on the defensive. It made her wonder if things could be like this with the real Faith. She knew almost nothing about either Faith's history - so she had no way to know if her's was capable of being this open and honest. They certainly shared a lot of the same mannerisms and personality traits.

She promised herself that if she ever did get the opportunity to talk to Faith again, she would do her best to give the younger slayer a chance.

"thank you for telling me that, and thank you for protecting Tara.". Buffy surprised herself when she wrapped Faith in a tight hug. she was even more surprised when Faith hugged her back.

With that, Buffy went upstairs and crawled into bed. Even though she had barely done anything in days - she was completely drained.

Buffy opened her eyes to see Tara sitting on the edge of the bed, holding a mug of foul-smelling liquid.

"Cure?" Buffy hadn't yet determined which Tara she was talking to. Or maybe she just didn't want to know.

Tara smiled and held the mug out. "It just needs to cool down a little."

From the way Tara was looking at her, Buffy knew that this wasn't her world. "You're not real." Buffy pouted and gently pushed the cure away. She wasn't sure what would happen if she drank the potion in the fantasy world. She was afraid to even hold the version of the cure that might completely alter her reality. As much as she wanted this to be real, she knew that it wasn't.

Tara smiled softly and placed the mug on the side table while shifting closer to Buffy. "I am real, Buffy." She brushed Buffy's hair away from her face. "If you want any chance of getting the answer to your question, you will have to drink this."

Tara held the mug out to her again, and this time Buffy took it. "You are real." She clasped it tightly to her chest and stared at the dark gooey contents.

"Can I tell you something?" Tara asked tentatively.

"Of course." Buffy blew on the viscous liquid, hoping to cool it down so that she could get back to normal as soon as possible.

"That question you asked - If I ever wonder..." Tara paused and looked away nervously. "I do. I've wondered quite a lot about how things could have been different - if only I could have been braver."

"Braver?" Buffy asked, not understanding what Tara was telling her but really hoping it was going where she thought.

Tara sighed and turned slightly away, letting her hair fall to cover her face. "Before we actually met - I had seen you around campus."

"Really?" Buffy leaned forward slightly, brushing Tara's hair out of the way so that she could see her face.

Tara continued to look at the floor, but she nodded. "There were so many times I imagined talking to you."

"What did you imagine saying?" Buffy held her breath as she waited for Tara to answer. She searched her memory, wondering if she had ever noticed Tara noticing her. Quickly, she decided that was a fruitless path to go down. Even if she had seen her then, no way would Buffy have let herself feel anything but friendship.

Buffy was not unaware of her attraction to women. But at that point in her life, it wasn't something she could have acted on.

"Buffy?" Now Tara was standing in the doorway with the mug that Buffy had been holding only moments ago.

Buffy wanted to scream in frustration. Not only had she had been moments from undoing all this mess, but the real Tara was about to tell her something that she was sure she really wanted to hear.

Tara moved to the side of the bed and reached out to brush the hair from Buffy's face the same way the real one did. Buffy couldn't help herself, and she leaned into the touch, reveling in the soft contact to her cheek. Her frustration from moments ago melted away. "It will be OK," Tara whispered and lightly caressed Buffy's cheek with her thumb.

When Buffy looked up again, Dawn was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her stomach - looking every bit of the young and insecure girl that she was.

Buffy hoped that the disappointment wasn't obvious. The last thing she wanted to do was to pile on to her sister's pain. Taking a calming breath, she prepared herself for the vitriol that Dawn generally showed her. When it didn't come after a few minutes, she took a moment to look at how distraught her sister was. "Dawn?" She managed to say and watched as Dawn's head sagged and her defensive posture fell away.

"I'm so sorry I've been so awful to you." Dawn sniffled, and Buffy's heart broke. "I get why you wouldn't want to stay here with me."

"That's not what this is," Buffy argued, but Dawn just shook her head.

"Of course it is. Why would you want to stay in this terrible world with me?"

Buffy put the mug down and held her arms open. Amazingly, Dawn accepted the offered hug and latched on to Buffy. Sniffling against her neck. She didn't actually know what to say to make Dawn feel better. When she tried to come up with a reason to choose this reality, nothing came to mind. Knowing that saying anything would likely make things worse, she opted just to stay silent and hold Dawn close.

"I'll be better, I promise. If you stay with me, I'll be better." Dawn kept repeating that, and the scene changed.

Now it was Tara she was holding. "Please stay with me, Buffy. I love you so much. Please."

Buffy was alone now, standing in the doorway of her mother's bedroom. The mug held tightly in her hands as she tried to decide what to do.

The room was changing periodically. Sometimes it'd be Faith glaring at her and telling her what a selfish bitch she is. Other times it was Spike with his promises of making her feel better. More often, it was one of the versions of Tara. Each of them offering Buffy some version of what she had wanted since first meeting her.

One of the worlds was objectively better, even with Faith yelling at her. But she also knew that the better world was a lie.

Not knowing what to do, she opted to let the fates decide. She closed her eyes and took several calming breaths before bringing the cup to her lips.

"That's not how this works." The room surrounding her fell away as a booming voice called out to her.

She quickly opened her eyes and moved into a defensive stance. The area she was in was almost entirely pitch black. It took her a moment to determine if her eyes might still be closed.

"You have to actually choose." The voice continued.

"I can't," Buffy whined.

"You have to. Is it really that hard to decide which world you want to live in?" The voice asked, and slowly a form became visible in front of her. He was a giant demon with purple skin. There was a faint glow coming from behind him, making him look much larger and more ethereal than he probably was.

"It's not real," Buffy argued.

"Are you sure about that?"

Buffy frowned and looked at the mug in her hands again. "I am sure. I don't remember anything from…"

The demon grinned, "you will. Once you make your choice, your memories will be back-filled. You won't even remember that the other world existed."

Buffy gasped at this and clutched the mug tighter. What the demon was saying was extremely enticing. She'd have her parents, Tara, and even Faith. She wouldn't remember dying or the awful things she had let Spike do to her.

"What else is different in this world? What about Angel, Willow, or Xander? Where are they?" For the first time, she realized she hadn't even bothered to ask about Willow in the fantasy world. She tried not to let her guilt consume her as it occurred to her that she really didn't care.

She may have stopped caring about Willow, but she did feel guilty for not telling Tara the whole story about Willow leaving. Willow had been horrified when Buffy explained the truth of what she had done. It wasn't just a harmless spell to stop the fight. Even when Tara had pointed out what a violation it was - Willow hadn't understood. But hearing it from Buffy helped it to finally sink in.

Willow agreed to leave without any kind of excuses or resistance. The only thing she asked is that Tara let her know that she finally understood what she had done. Buffy hadn't been too angry to relay that information. She told herself she wasn't outright lying to Tara, but she knew in her heart that it was wrong.

The demon huffed in annoyance. "This is not QA time. It's decision time - now make up your mind."

"How do you expect me to decide if I don't know everything about the other world?"

The demon ignored her question. "Tick tock, slayer. Tick tock." The demon said while he waved his finger at her.

"What's the rush?" Buffy asked as she rubbed her temple. The headache she had been trying valiantly to ignore since this whole mess started, was starting to feel like an icepick had been jammed in her eye.

"If you spend much more time in this limbo, the damage to your psyche will kill you." The demon said nonchalantly.

"Why is this happening? Who is doing this to me?" Buffy asked, not sure what answer she was expecting or hoping to hear. She had been under the impression that a demon had poisoned her mind. As she stopped to think about it, she wasn't sure why she believed a demon had done this to her. She didn't remember being attacked or even discussing the specifics of an attack in either dimension.

The more she tried to make sense of things, the more she felt her sanity slipping away.

Faith knew things that Buffy didn't remember telling her. The more Buffy thought about these past few days, the more confused she became. She had never even thought to ask either side what was happening when she was gone. Did they blink out of existence? She didn't think so since conversations that she didn't remember having were brought up.

Buffy tried her best to dig out of her internal musings and focus on the demon. If he was responsible for this, she would find a way to make him pay.

The demon's face stretched grotesquely as his lips pulled back from his wide, toothy grin. Buffy was both disgusted and entranced by it. "After your recent sacrifice, the 'powers that be' have decided to offer you this chance to live in your version of an idyllic world ."

Buffy didn't know what to believe. She didn't know what the 'powers that be' might look like, but she didn't imagine that this demon could represent them. At the same time, she couldn't help but hope he was telling the truth.

"Decide soon, or the choice will be taken away. The PTB will not take kindly to you refusing their gift." The demon seemed almost bored as he made this threat.

"What happens if I can't decide?"

"You really don't want to find out." The demon was suddenly much closer and looming over her. He glared at her for a moment before flashing out of existence.

Buffy was going around in circles with herself. Guilt was eating her up as she punished herself for not caring enough about the missing people from her fantasy dimension.

Giles had stripped her of her powers and then abandoned her when she needed him the most. It was effortless to come up with reasons why she shouldn't care that he was dead. So many events flickered through her mind where he had failed her as a father figure. If she accepted the new world, she would have her actual father.

The biggest issue was Dawn. The bratty little sister that she had never wanted but still loved with all her being. The same sister that let Buffy know on a daily basis how much of a failure she was.

The thing that Buffy kept coming back to - was that she didn't deserve a reward. The "sacrifice" she was being given accolades for - hadn't been a sacrifice at all. Buffy saw a way out, and she took it.

"Death is my gift." Buffy thought to herself when she stood on the platform with Dawn. There had been so many ways to interpret the vision she had received from the First Slayer. Until the moment just before she jumped into the portal - she had thought it meant her gift was to kill.

As she made the decision to close the portal herself, she realized her gift was to die. The 'Powers that Be' had seen that she had done enough and were giving Buffy her freedom.

Now maybe she was being allowed to make a different decision.

Buffy was back in the doorway, and Tara was sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked so sad, and Buffy's heart was breaking. She put the mug down again and pulled Tara into a hug.

"Please, Buffy. Please drink." Tara was crying harder, and Buffy maneuvered them, so they were lying with Tara cradled against her chest.

She didn't understand why the choice was so hard. If what the demon was telling her was true - she could actually be happy. She wouldn't even have to remember how unhappy she had become.

No attempted murder of Faith.

No memories of finding her mother's body.

No "sacrifice".

No heaven.

No digging herself out of the ground.

No watching her best friend turn into a monster.

Tara began to shift slightly, and Buffy became aware of Tara's hands and how they felt on her hips. Then it registered that Tara was placing soft kisses along her collarbone and up to her neck.

Buffy knew she had to stop this before it went any further. Any chance of that happening disappeared as Tara's hands slid under her shirt. "Tara." Buffy moaned embarrassingly loud.

"Drink," Tara pulled back and removed her hands from under Buffy's shirt. Buffy really really wanted Tara to touch her again.

Buffy eagerly reached for the mug and brought it to her lips, but before she could drink it - she was no longer even holding the mug. It wasn't even in the room with her. This time she couldn't hold back her scream of frustration.

Her vision began to flicker rapidly. There was no chance to drink the cure in any dimension because things were changing too quickly. Her reality became detached from time. The scenes that flashed by were in no discernible order. As soon as she focused on one image, it was gone.

"Stop!" She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and shouted in frustration. Her lungs ached as she took deep, gasping breaths while trying to find a way to hold on to either reality.

"Tick tock, Slayer." The disembodied demonic voice surrounded her, and she screamed again.

With her eyes squeezed shut - she made her decision. When she opened her eyes, she was sitting in bed with Tara next to her.

"Tara?" She asked gently, and Tara turned to face her. Tears were streaming down her face, and Buffy gently wiped them away. "I'm here - I'm staying here."

An enormous smile blossomed on Tara's face. "Do you mean it?"

Buffy didn't quite trust her voice. Instead, she kept eye contact while nodding, hoping that her face conveyed everything she wanted to tell Tara.

"So, are you going to kiss me, or what?" Tara's smile became less playful and more sultry. Before she could even finish the sentence, Buffy had surged forward. Answering the question more thoroughly than words ever could.