When you are the youngest sibling of 6 and with a little sister you have little chance to excel; all the great accomplishments already done by your older siblings, all the charismatic personalities already used and the favoritism of each parent already claimed by someone else.

Envy and the feeling of not belonging in my own family have always been cemented in my soul, directed mostly at my siblings closest to my age. I always envied the relationship that Fred and George had, more than brothers, more than best friends... each of them half of something bigger and more beautiful. Many of my dreams were that I had a twin: with whom I shared sweets, jokes, secrets and adventures. I always wanted to be the George of one Fred

I don't feel so bad about the envy I had of their relationship, I could see in the Griffindor common room how the others in the house saw them when they were the center of attention (which was very frequent), the desire to have your other half was present in all the looks with different levels of intensity.

With Ginny I always felt like a failure, I wanted to be the perfect big brother, I wanted to be the shoulder to comfort my sister when she felt sad, the one she looked to when she needed advice, the one she considered her best friend and favorite brother.

But my sister had our mother's undivided attention, why would she want a brother only a year older than her when her mother could give her everything? Ginny was the princess of the house who was denied nothing, who owned everything new, who had her mother's love... Ginny never sought me out and I, blinded by envy, made little effort to be there for her. From the first day at Howards my sister only came to me to be near Harry.

When I met Harry in that train bagon he immediately filled both spaces I craved, we hit it off almost instantly, two kids hungry for attention and validation, we were inseparable from each other as we fed each other's good and bad habits, in him I had found my Fred.

I was extremely surprised when he mentioned to me that it had only been a few days since he found out he was a sorcerer. Harry Potter, scourge of the dark lords, didn't know such basic things about the magical world as that owls carry mail, portraits don't stand still or that Chudley Cannons was the best Quiddich team!

We had not yet arrived at Howards and I already considered my sacred duty to protect and guide Harry in this new world for him, at last I could be the big brother who protected his naive little brother (emphasis on naive and little).

With him I faced stinking trolls, cool but deadly chess games, creepy spiders, homicidal teachers, teachers who were not homicidal but prats, treacherous pets, death eaters, puberty, awkard dances and other equally or even darker things.

I was always ready to fight by his side, to put myself between him and danger, to scare away the vultures that harassed him when he was on the side of bad public opinion. But as always envy brought out the worst in me, In fourth year I did something stupid, when the whole school was against him and my little brother needed his big brother more, what did I do? I sided with the vultures.

My Harry feeling like the world was against him, when he most needed me to give him a comforting hug (a very masculine one I should clarify), comforting (and masculine) words he found that I didn't believe his innocence, I wanted what Harry hated: to have all eyes on me.

I was as stupid as ever envying the trap Harry had fallen into without any chance of avoiding it.

But it wasn't just envy that he was always the center of attention, it was also fear... he hadn't mentioned to me that he was signing up for the tournament and I feared it meant that he didn't need me anymore... that our brotherhood had always been one-sided.

Harry being the school pariah wasn't new, there were always bad rumors about him at least once a month, but my betrayal made this rumor worse.

"If even Weasley says Harry cheated to enter the tournament, if his best friend says he just wants to gain even more fame then it must be true."

This kind of comments were heard everywhere in the school, the vultures felt validated thanks to me, I will never forget Harry's betrayal face... Hermione's look of disappointment... Ginny's look of fury... or the approving face Malfoy gave me when he threw a "Harry sucks" pin into my hands as he kept walking.

It didn't take me long to realize what a jerk I had been all along. Guilt and shame weighed on my back the whole time, why did it take me so long to apologize then?

First because my stupidity, I was in denial: "It must not be true, he's just looking for attention" "He doesn't have to do this horrible punishment, only me, it was always his goal" I kept repeating over and over in my mind.

Then it was guilt. Why didn't I listen to Hermione? How could I call Harry my little brother when I was the only Weasley who didn't believe him? How could I ignore the horrified face Harry had when the goblet threw his name? Why did I decide to ignore that face he showed me when he realized that I didn't believe him innocent?

And finally when I decided out of that stupid pride my Harry no longer expected anything from me, he didn't give me a chance to speak thinking justifiably that I just wanted to betray our friendship even more.

Seeing Harry face to face against a Hungarian Horntail was the worst thing that could happen to me in my young life. My heart was pounding like it was going to burst out of my chest, my fingernails buried in my bloody palms, my eyes wet. My brother taking on a dragon without having the support of his supposed best friend... how smart of Ginny not to try to expect something from me.

When I saw him flying away on his Firebolt, safe from danger with that golden egg triumphantly on his arm I was relieved and determined, no matter if I had to grovel at his feet, I needed to apologize honestly.

And what did Harry Bloody Potter do?

He forgave me without even listening to my apology, he offered me a sincere smile and treated me as if nothing had happened, as if his brother had not betrayed him.

When Hermione with a completely red face but with a hidden smile quickly left the infirmary it wasn't long before my little naive (emphasis on little and naive) emerald eyed brother came to visit me.

Seeing my two best friends alive again one after the other was both a blessing and a torture, I don't know how I could have endured seeing the two of them together without crying or thanking them for being born.

Harry focused his eyes on me, with a relieved smile and a hurried walk he happily approached my bed (the three of us spent so much time in the infirmary that we already had beds assigned to each of us).

"Ron you finally woke up!" his tone with a happiness he had almost forgotten he could reflect, from the end of the tournament in fourth year his happiness was being cut into smaller and smaller pieces.

"Wow Harry I'm glad to know that while I was unconscious you were practicing on seeing the obvious mate, you don't think it's normal for snakes to speak English and disappear glass anymore" but seriously my Harry needs some common sense.

"Prat" my brother said to me with an annoyed look but with a treacherous smile ruining the message "But seriously Ron, I'm glad you finally woke up, Sirius shouldn't have bitten your leg so deeply, you had us worried."

I couldn't hold Harry anymore, my hands needed proof that my brother really was with me and it wasn't just a hallucination of my mind, so taking advantage of his closeness with my left arm I hugged his shoulder, tightly, my mocking smile hiding my urge to cry with happiness "Well Harry my brother, Sirius seems like a smart guy, he must have realized that if he left me in good shape it would be impossible for him to pass me to get to you."

Harry rolled his eyes teasingly "Careful Ron it's like you sound like you learned modesty from Lockhart" my arm was still around his shoulders, I could clearly see how he was uncomfortable at first, growing up without positive physical contact his entire childhood, but quickly accepting the show of affection he desperately craves.

Damn the Dursleys and Dumbledor.

"Well I guess I at least surpass him in the most charming smile don't you think?" Harry laughs at my failed attempt to mimic Lockhart's smile "But let's stop talking about my perfect qualities otherwise we wouldn't finish all day, Tell me how you saved your godfather Harry."

I watch as the effect I was hoping for of saying the word godfather instead of "Sirius" or "That jerk who almost took my leg off" takes effect, my Harry flashes me a beaming smile and eyes that reflect a lovely happiness, just like the first Christmas we spent at Howards realizing that for the first time he had real presents and was surrounded by people who loved him.

He started telling me everything that happened again, from me fainting from the pain, the fight with Remus turning into a werewolf, the demenotors finding Sirius, Harry being saved by his future self (Obviously I have to be second place on that too) as well as everything involving the time-turner, of course this would already be the third time I've heard it (Once in my timeline and a few hours ago with Hermione) but I would never deny Harry telling me how he rescued his godfather.

"Can you believe it Ron? I have a godfather, I finally have a family" as I wish this happiness would always be Harry's state of mind.

"Wow Potter I never thought that you would care so little about my brotherhood... how am I going to tell my poor mother who already sees you as another one of her sons that the feeling is not mutual..." I see how Harry's face is turning pale and his expression somewhat horrified

"C-come on Ron... you know I didn't mean that, I'll always be a-grateful to your family and so-above all to you..." that's when Harry finally notices my restrained laughter... my Harry will be quick on the broom but not so much in the mind "o you giant red twat! I'm serious!"

I can't help but laugh out loud this time, Harry mate...life without you is no life.

"Come on runt you know the talk was getting too emotional and I wasn't planning on giving you hugs right after I got out of the hospital" Bullshit, I'd give you all the hugs in the world. "I hope you can finally get away from that horrible family you live with, at least you won't need your uncle's signature for visits outside of Howards" Harry's dreamy smile makes my stomach churn, Dumbledore would never let Harry leave that house until he was 17, never mind that there are such easy ways to outwit Harry's enemies like the fidelus charm.

With the discussion of this year's experiences I find an easy opening to begin my plan to better prepare Harry.

"You know Harry that Expecto Patronum sounds great, do you think starting next year you can teach me how to use it? I mean you're already quite a master at the spell, it's only natural to look to pass on your wisdom to your highest and best friend, who knows next year Malfoy could be getting taken down by a moose and bull or dragon or something equally cool!

Dumbledore's Army is without a doubt one of the best ideas Hermione ever had and boy that is not said lightly, not only did it help us to have a better ability to defend against the dark arts, it also served to improve Harry's reputation with our peers, The pleasure and satisfaction that Harry felt when teaching took Hermione and me by surprise, I want Harry to start having all those qualities from an early age, as well as a better physical and emotional condition.

I will never let Harry suffer through fifth year again.

"Come on Ron, I don't think I'm capable of teaching anyone, let alone the Expecto Patronum, I think if you ask Remus or Hermione they would gladly teach you" or Harry when will you stop making yourself lesser and accept how great you are.

"Harry, Harry modesty doesn't suit you dear friend, that spell hasn't even been mastered by Hermione and I know that of the three of us you are the best at defense against the dark arts, I'm sure you'll do well and it's not just me who will want you to teach it, Hermione will jump at the first opportunity to learn something so complicated And I'm sure Ginny and the twins will want to learn from the legendary Harry Potter too! "I may be exaggerating a little too much but seeing how Harry smiles and starts to like the idea of teaching all his friends (plus the people I can convince, without him knowing about it first of course).

"Well if you really want to learn and don't slack off like always" Hey insolent dwarf, when I slack off you're always right next to me! "Of course I'll teach you all, I feel like this spell can help us a lot in the future" You have no idea brother.

"Well it sounds like we already have a plan to start the next year, hopefully it will be a lot calmer than this one"

Unfortunately I know that next year will be the beginning of the war... and I can't help that.