At least kissing Peter was almost familiar to me, we hadn't ever had trouble with the physical side of our relationship, so I knew I wouldn't be disappointed in the morning. I had Peter sandwiched between me and the front door to my flat as I kissed him aggressively and tried to push off his jacket. His hands were travelling over me rapidly and responding eagerly to my movements, only slightly over his shock to the situation. We fit together like this and sure I felt bad for using him as some sort of rebound but I guess my self-pity was clouding over any guilt. Just as his jacket thud to the ground and my hands moved under his top to try and push that off as well, his hands moved to my shoulders and gently pushed me off of him. I stared back confused as he gathered his thoughts, and I had no idea what was happening.

"What are we doing Car?"

"I think that's pretty obvious, don't you?"

I moved back to him trying to connect our lips once again but was pushed back again. Was I seriously getting rejected?

"Look, I know you upset, I just don't want you to regret this in the morning."

"I won't, it's just sex, right?"

"I get it you probably had a fight with Nick and – "

What? How the hell did he know?"

"What? What does Nick have to do with anything."

"You'll hate yourself if you cheated on him because of some stupid argument."

"I'm not cheating on him, we're not dating, and I wouldn't have picked you if I knew you were going to talk this much."

I just wanted to do something to stop feeling the rejection and horrible feelings from my encounter with Nick, he didn't even do anything wrong, but it still hurt. He was having a baby with someone else just when I accepted the fact that I liked him, I really liked him.

"What? I saw you two kiss this morning and Simon was saying – "

"I kissed him as a joke to wind up his sister and I don't really open up to your son about my dating life so… We done now?"

"Yeah definitely."

He pounced on me this time, seemingly happy with my answers, and was quicker than me with my dress on the floor in record time as he backed me away from the door until my back was against the kitchen island. His hands were fast and due to our past, they knew exactly where to go and what to do which was the same as his lips, I didn't have to pretend as we both knew what the other liked. His top was next to go and as he reached for my tights and I reached for his belt he pulled away again. Really?

"Bedroom?"

"What?"

He laughed at my confused state and I had to be honest, I was too out of it to understand what he was saying.

"Where's your bedroom, I think we're getting a little old to do it standing up."

"Speak for yourself old man."

With that, I practically ran to my bedroom and laughed as he followed with the same pace as he slammed the door behind us and picked me up to put me on the bed. The kisses were quick to return and thankfully things moved a lot quicker, all clothes were discarded, and we were all over each other again, doing exactly what I wanted and more importantly, what I really needed right now. I was actually lucky Peter was on the street tonight.

We were both under my duvet panting to regain our breath, just accepting the silence that always came naturally after these moments. What could you possibly say? Good round, see you next time my not-boyfriend gets told that he got someone pregnant? It felt stupid to feel awkward with Peter here considering how many times we had been in this exact position before, it was countless. Yet here I was, staring at the ceiling thinking of what to say to the man I used to be married to as he lay naked next to me. Luckily, he was a lot quicker than me.

"So, how're things at the factory?"

"Yeah, there er… great. I hired someone to help us get online you know and everything else has been smooth sailing."

"That's good."

Oh shit, my turn.

"How are things with you and your life?"

Why could I not remember what he was supposed to have been doing away from the street?

"Oh, good, they're good but you know, missed Simon, he for some reason missed me, thought I would give this street another chance you know?"

"Oh, so you're staying?"

"I was thinking about it before I got here but when I saw my son yesterday, I just, I can't leave him again, and hey being back hasn't been too bad so far."

Our eyes had naturally drifted to each other as we talked and the smiled, he sent me as he spoke about the street was definitely aimed at me, the guilt about using him was coming to the front of my mind. Not only did I use my ex-husband for sex to get over someone, but I was also using him to get over someone he strongly disliked, well some he hated. I knew that because I had heard many rants about Nick Tilsley and exactly what Peter thought.

Before I could reply or even think of an actual answer, my doorbell rang and I knew immediately that it would be Nick, he was the only person that didn't have to buzz to be let up. I froze for a moment, debating whether to actually answer but he knocked again louder, and I felt no choice but to see what he wanted. I quickly got up and grabbed my dressing gown from the back of my door, kicking clothes out of view as I walked to the front door. As I go to the handle, I took a moment to gather myself and opened the door enough for him to just see my face and not my surroundings, nervously I tightened my dressing gown. Nick was on the other side of the door looking scrambled and nervous, as soon as he caught sight of my attire, he looked guilty and began to finally speak.

"Hey, I'm sorry for disturbing you, I erm, I tried calling you and texting, but I got no answer, I thought we were going to talk later, and I knew you were probably busy, but I wanted to check you were ok…"

"Me? yeah, I'm fine, sorry I forgot, got carried away with work and got tired, we'll have to talk some other time then?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my bedroom door move and I knew it was Peter coming to listen, thankfully though, he stayed in my bedroom not making a sound. Nick was fidgeting from foot to foot not knowing what to do as I hadn't invited him in like usual, I doubted he wanted that though, to see mine and Peter's clothing thrown all over the place. He was still silent, and I didn't want this to drag out any more than it already had on my life, it would be hard but at least I knew now that Nick and I were just meant to be friends.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow Nicholas."

Just I was about to shut the door, he had more to say.

"Carla, look I'm sorry about earlier, I – "

"It's fine Nick, I get it."

"Do you? Because I don't. I just wanted; I don't even know."

He laughed at himself and looked even more distraught as he ran his hand over his face to try and regain composure, I felt horrible for him, but I didn't really need to hear more rejection tonight.

"We're mates, yeah? I'm here if you ever need to talk, just maybe not now aye?"

I smiled at him and motioned to my state of undress to hopefully, get him to leave but he didn't take the hint, he instead gave me that stupid smile that made my stomach feel funny and carried on staring at me.

"I just didn't expect Erica to tell me she was pregnant, especially now, especially today, just when we were – "

"Hey, no one expects their ex to show up and tell them they were pregnant, well I definitely don't as they are all men, but you get what I mean."

I was rambling now. I never ramble.

"I know it's just I don't know what to do or, I don't know."

"Talk to Erica."

"What?"

"You know I don't mind you talking to me, but I don't know Erica or anything about the baby, or even what she wants from you, you should talk to her, figure it out together, it's what I wanted when I was pregnant."

He physically sagged when I mentioned my pregnancy as if being struck, he felt my pain just like he felt his family's but there wasn't much pain there anymore, sure I missed my baby but all I did was try to explain my thinking. He nodded at my suggestion, agreeing, even if my suggestion was selfish as I couldn't bear to talk about his new family with him.

"Yeah, your right."

I felt myself silently sigh with relief as he turned to leave but today still had the bad luck to throw my way as he turned back making small talk to try and continue the conversation.

"Have you heard Peter is back? Leanne was saying earlier that Simon was with him last night… I just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Yeah, I actually saw him last night, after the wine tasting thing, we're civil so I will be fine."

"Oh, you didn't mention anything at breakfast."

He actually looked really upset that I hadn't said anything, and I felt really guilty as his face looked like a puppy that had just been kicked and wounded. I should have told him. I was vaguely aware of the fact that Peter was probably still listening and enjoying that he was now a topic in the conversation.

"Well, breakfast was to cheer you up not talk about me seeing and talking to my ex-husband."

"You spoke to him?"

If we were having this conversation, I would see his emotions as jealousy and thrive on seeing them but right now it hurt. The truth was, he was having a baby with someone else, and I was hiding my ex-husband in my bedroom after a one-night stand.

"Yeah, you know just briefly, Simon stopped me, and it just happened, not much was said though, just bragging about getting to go to a wine testing with my new bestie."

I tried to smile at the joke which he responded with but like mine, it was fake, and we were both struggling through this conversation.

"Come to think of it, probably not best to brag about wine to an ex-alcoholic…"

Back to rambling, was this my nervous gesture? I hoped not, it was a dead giveaway.

"Yeah, I think I need a coffee after today."

He looked hopeful and I knew he was waiting for a late invitation in but for reasons already mentioned, that would be a horrific idea. I didn't want anyone knowing that by the second day Peter was on the street, I let him back into my bed, I didn't want them to know how low I was feeling because I couldn't have Nick.

"Well don't have one too late, you want to be able to sleep remember. Talking of sleep, I should probably let you go so we can both get a good night's sleep."

"Yeah…"

Just like that, with his head bowed and the same wounded puppy look, he was walking away from my apartment and towards the stairs to head to his floor. Sometimes I would wait until he got to that door to wave to him as he slightly turned but today, I shut the door as soon as he started walking away, unable to see his face more than necessary right now.

With Nick gone, I moved over to my discarded bag by the entrance and dug out my phone to check the messages and missed calls he claimed to have sent my way. He had sent numerous texts along the same lines.

'You around for our chat?'

'Can you talk'?

'hey, where are you?'

'I've got wine in exchange for a shoulder to cry on.'

'Are you ok?'

It was sweet really and I felt incredibly guilty, as even if I didn't drag Peter back to my flat, I probably wouldn't have gone, I really didn't want to hear about Erica, it weirdly hurt. There was one text from Michelle, and I knew I was going to be seeing her tomorrow.

'Were you in the Rovers?'

She knew I was she knew I left, and Peter wasn't there either, damn it. As I panicked over the lecture, I would be hearing tomorrow, a voice from behind me startled me and almost made me drop my phone.

"He is smitten with you."

"Jesus Christ Peter."

I put my hand to my heart and scolded him as he made me jump, a little dramatic but he scared me, he just smiled in return, but it wasn't sincere. Were all men around me having problems?

"What are you going on about?"

"Nick, he likes you loads, and let me guess, you like him too?"

"He's a friend."

Was that convincing? I dint believe it, Chelle didn't earlier, and the way Peter's shoulders slumped, he didn't either.

"Well, whatever you want to tell me, he likes you. Really though? Nick Tilsley? I thought you had better taste than that."

"I married you though didn't I."

It was a petty insult and all it did was confirm I liked Nick, I was such an idiot, I had played right into his hands and gave him the answer. He acted as though it was still new information as he backed away from me and put his hand over his heart.

"Ouch."

He walked around me into the kitchen area and retrieved a glass from the drying rack and ran the tap to fill it with water as he took long swigs. Seriously, why did I keep getting myself in these situations? Once the glass was empty, he walked over to the barstool and sat down staring at me intently, waiting for me to talk but I had nothing to say anymore.

"So… what was it that first drew you to Nick of all people?"

"He's not you."

He reacted like that was an insult and maybe it was, but it was still the truth, I realised I was attracted to Nick because he wasn't my type, he wasn't like the men who had broken my heart, he cared about me and was different. In the end, he wasn't Peter.

"You're telling me."

He was trying to cover his insecurities by making himself sound egotistical, I could hear his voice waver and needed to backtrack without making it obvious.

"He's just different from anyone else I dated, I think I needed that change but then again, I'm not dating him either."

"What is it about that man trying to date my ex's."

"Yes Peter, because it's all about you."

I scoffed at him and walked around to retrieve the glass he had drunk out of as I filled it again and emptied it quickly. I really wanted today, this evening to be over, it felt like the longest day in history. Peter was still on the barstool staring at me, watching, waiting for me to make my next move and I knew I had to deal with him before I would be allowed to go to sleep and forget about this torturous day. I chose to ignore him though as I picked up m discarded clothes and won as he spoke up first.

"Can I just ask you one more question?"

"Fine."

"Did you sleep because you were heartbroken over Nick?"

It was the depression and sadness in his voice that had me turning to look at him and see the same emotions over his face as he waited patiently for my answer. Thank God, he was being patient as I thought carefully over the wording of my answer, wanting to be truthful and also not have any misunderstandings.

"Yes and no, I slept with you because I felt down, yes, because of Nick but not because of him as a person. That doesn't make sense. I felt rejected, I can't remember the last time I was properly rejected, he didn't even reject me, but it felt like it."

This was going terribly.

"He was about to have everything that he wanted, a baby, he would make a great dad and I couldn't give him that any time soon. Maybe it was my brain finally catching up with my heart and telling it how stupid it had been, and I wanted a distraction. I should have picked someone else and for that I'm sorry, but I didn't want to be rejected."

The silence was long as I stared at the floor unable to look at him. I found myself in his arms though as pulled me into a hug and kissed my head, whispering into my hair.

"I'm glad you chose me."

I hugged him back as he was offering the comfort, I didn't know I needed but I felt better, maybe my mom was wrong, maybe I needed to be comforted to get over someone instead of sleeping with someone else. We pulled back slightly as Peter glanced at his watch.

"Do you mind if I stay here tonight, I don't really want to wake my dad up."

"Yeah fine."

Thank you for the support and love, I'm thinking of a proper upload schedule every other day or every three days like my previous story.