Maybe This Time
Chapter 3
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Someday they'd meet again
And have a need for more than reminiscin'
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Harvey looked at her with that big grin of his. But his smile faltered and he mumbled a weak, "Surprise," when he spotted Jack behind her. Donna was rooted to the spot, totally shocked.
"What are you doing here?" Jack spat out. He looked as if he wanted to murder Harvey. None of them could exactly blame him, really. The man had been betrayed by them.
They all looked awkwardly at each other. Harvey chose wisely not to reply and in the end, both men were staring at Donna.
All she wanted to do was burst into tears but she managed to hold herself together. Ella started wailing upstairs so she pointed at both men. "Behave," she ordered and ran upstairs muttering, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."
"Get off my property and out of our lives," Jack hissed at the other man, shooting a look up the stairs.
Harvey clenched his fists, yet managed to remain calm. "I'll let Donna decide that, thanks." His voice was composed, not impressed by the man in front of him.
Donna came down the stairs with Ella, who buried her face in her mother's chest. Not wanting to confront her daughter with the two men, she quickly sat her down in the kitchen with a plate of fruit. Thanking her lucky stars she had prepared that at least. And she gave the toddler her phone with a Pocoyo movie playing. Desperate times and all that.
She found the men in the same position as she left them. So at least they didn't get physical. She supposed it was something.
She joined Jack in the doorway, telling him in a low voice she thought it was best if he left.
"Why should I be the one to go? This is still my house you know!" Jack's voice was loud enough to carry across the driveway. Which she was sure was exactly his intention.
"It's our house and we agreed you don't live here at the moment. You show up unannounced and I'd like you to stick to the agreements we made for now." Donna had to work hard to keep her tears at bay. Saying these words harsher than she meant them but the situation needed it.
Jack's eyes were spitting fire. "So you chose him then?"
Donna was this close to exploding herself but remembered Ella in the kitchen and replied slowly. "I'm not choosing anyone but I have two men standing in my driveway, ready to beat the crap out of each other while our kid is sitting 30 feet away. So I'm reminding you first of our verbal agreements. I'll get to him," she nodded in Harvey's direction, "in a minute."
"Fine," Jack sulked. "But I don't just want random men near my kids and certainly not playing house under my roof."
She nodded. "I totally agree. I don't know why he's here and I'll assure you he's sleeping in a hotel tonight or any other night. I'll honor your wishes just as much as you honor mine."
With a few dirty looks thrown in Harvey's direction, Jack got in his car and drove off.
Donna pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. When she reopened them, Harvey was still standing there waiting for her to make a move.
"I—, I don't have it in me to have it out with you too."
"Sure you don't want to scold me just a little bit, for old times sake?" he teased.
"Stop! I'm still mad at you for showing up like this."
His face turned serious. "You wanted me to fight for you—" He opened his arms a little. "Here I am."
"You still should have consulted with me first."
There was the reprimand he was looking for. "And give you the opportunity to say no?" he replied.
"No," Donna said a little bit too quickly. "But you just barging in here, it's complicated," she added.
Harvey cocked his head. He knew, she knew she was just making up excuses.
"I wanted to see how you live. Know what you've got going here." He had used his low voice and was approaching her. He was getting to her but they were standing in the middle of her driveway in broad daylight. She sighed. "You better come in."
….
Half an hour later, Donna was preparing some food for dinner, Ella playing at her feet and Harvey standing in her garden sipping a coke.
He had politely introduced himself to Ella, who had hidden behind her mother's legs in reply.
She sighed. She needed to pick up Aubrey soon. Her older daughter would recognize Harvey immediately and ask why he was there. It would be wrong for them to meet now. Here in their house. She grabbed her phone and texted another mum about a playdate between their kids.
"The house is different than I expected." Harvey's voice came from the garden. He turned around.
She just arched an eyebrow.
"It looks very—" he took a sip. "Spanish."
"Yeah well, the border is only 30 miles that way." She gestured to the hills visible from the garden.
"That's Mexico?"
She nodded.
"Gotta say, I did not know you lived so Southern. It's not what I expected at all."
Donna narrowed her eyes. "Why's that?"
"When Rachel first told me you moved to California, I just thought it'd be San Francisco or something. You know, big city, one of those Victorian houses." He shifted his gaze to the hills in the distance. "Anyway, I didn't have any clue so I guess my head just kinda stuck with that idea until now."
She was a bit flabbergasted. "It is where I first ran to actually," she admitted.
Harvey spun around. "San Fran, yeah?"
"Only outsiders call it San Fran," she berated him. "When you live there you call it The City."
He let out a genuine laugh, stepping inside. "I'm sorry as a New Yorker, I can't accept that theory. As a fellow New Yorker, you can't either."
His laugh distracted her. It felt warm, like home. She shook her head. As if to get rid of the feeling and caught the end of his last sentence. "I'm not a New Yorker anymore."
Harvey frowned. "You're trying to tell me you're a Californian now?"
Unintentionally she increased her hacking of the onion, an outlet for her annoyance over his question. Because he was right of course.
She let out a displeased sigh. "No, I'm neither."
Sensing her frustration, he steered the topic back to safer grounds. "So how did you end up here?"
"I was dabbling in the theater scene of San Francisco. Putting my organizing skills to use for a small venue and ended up starring in their play." She glanced at her phone, confirmation of the playdate coming through. Harvey's clouded expression went unnoticed. "Jack is a talent agent who was in town for business and wanted me to sign with his agency after seeing the play."
Harvey felt his jealousy rising. He had been to every one of her plays since they met. A pang of sadness at missing out on this one. Jack got to see it and he offered her the world in theaterland.
"I declined his offer as he mainly worked in the San Diego area and I wanted to settle in San Francisco. But I accepted a dinner offer and one thing led to another. His family lives in this area, the agency he works for is based here, so yeah, here we are."
"El Cajon, California," Harvey stated.
She hunched up her shoulders and tilted her head. "It isn't anything special but it is home to the girls."
"Has it been home to you?" His voice was soft.
She rounded the counter and sat down at the kitchen table. "I don't see myself growing old in this area if that is what you mean. But life hasn't been unpleasant here. This home holds a lot of invaluable memories."
Harvey sat down on the opposite side of the table. "I can see that." He looked at the pictures that were scattered all over the house. "You build a whole life here."
"Is it weird?" She grabbed a hair tie and pulled her red tresses together.
He tried to look nonchalant. "Little bit." He was actually mesmerized by Donna in jeans and a t-shirt with a cardigan and now a ponytail. It was a version he didn't get to see very often in New York.
She exhaled just a bit too loud. "Good, because it is totally weird having you in my house. It's like two worlds colliding."
Harvey's jaw clenched and she recognized the sign. She got up to make a cup of juice for Ella.
"It's just—, I tried to ignore your existence for so long and suddenly you're here. In my world. Whereas New York, it was me in your world."
Both their eyes followed Ella going to her little corner in the room filled with toys. She pulled out a book but to their surprise, she headed to Harvey with it. "Wead," she demanded of him.
He chuckled. "Absolutely." And he opened the book. Delighted, the little girl pushed a chair close and climbed on it. Donna's heart grew ten sizes.
"It's more than just your world, Donna." He looked at her intently. "All this," he gestured around. "Is standing on the sidelines, watching how someone else has got your fantasy with your dream girl." He shifted his attention to Ella and started reading the picture book she handed him.
…
"Harvey, why are you here?" Donna said as she sat down at the bench at the edge of the playground. Ella just had a run-in with another kid but with a quick kiss to the head, she was off again.
Harvey angled his body in her direction. "I wanted to see you."
"Why?"
"Is it really winter here as well or did I somehow cross the equator by flying over?" He rolled up his sleeves and unbuttoned his collar.
"Who shows up in their dress shirt when it's 70°F?" she shot back.
He sighed. "I had a morning meeting and was supposed to go home to change but it was Teddy and you know I always want to help him. I ran out of time."
"I thought he sold his company?"
Harvey flashed a smile. "There was this trade we made with Stu," he trailed off.
Donna guffawed. "Not sure I wanna know." She ran her hand through her red locks. "You have always had a soft spot for Teddy."
"I've always had a soft spot for you."
Donna pursed her lips. "Why did you come here, Harvey?" she repeated her question.
Harvey let his eyes wander over her face, then looked away at Ella going down the slide on her tummy, grinning from ear to ear. "I want to be with you. It's as simple and as complicated as that."
Donna bit her bottom lip. It sure was complicated, alright.
"But also—" Harvey's eyes traveled back to her face, studying it for a long moment before saying, "I spent the past five years trying to move on. But the few hours I will spend with you here will make me feel more alive than the thousands I spent without you."
He moved to reach up and tuck a stray lock behind her ear but remembered in time that this is her neighborhood where they know her husband. It wasn't his place to do so. His arm halfway, he clenched his fingers in a fist and pulled back.
Donna felt her breath catch in her throat. She wanted him to touch her. His words warmed her heart, but at the same time guilt spread through her body and left her trembling softly.
Harvey's eyebrows knitted together. He glanced around before squeezing her knee. "What did I say?"
"The more I see you, the more I talk to you, the more I want you," she said in a choked voice.
He inclined his head. "You say that as if it is a bad thing."
Donna shuffled her feet, scraping a line in the sand with her shoe, not meeting Harvey's eyes. "I miss the old me and the old you, and how we used to be."
"I miss it too," Harvey's voice was suddenly husky. "I miss us."
"Except there never was an us," Donna all but whispered.
A flicker of irritation and impatience shone in his eyes. "Is that really how you feel?" He searched her face, trying to meet her eyes and hold her gaze. "Because we may not have been romantically involved but there was very much an us."
She swallowed the nervous dryness from her throat. "I need to pick up Aubrey soon. Do you have a hotel booked?"
Harvey's shoulders sagged, his lips drawn into a thin line as he nodded his response.
He didn't hide his disappointment. She was bailing on him as soon as the conversation touched upon her feelings.
"I'm here for the weekend. Can we meet, please? Maybe have dinner?" He hated how nothing about this was going natural, how he didn't know how she would respond. But being in her orbit felt better than anything else he has done the past few years so he rolled with it.
Calling out her name and beckoning Ella, Donna contemplated his request. "Just dinner?"
"Just dinner," he promised.
She fastened the straps of Ella's shoes while replying. "Can I text you with a time tomorrow? Jack has the girls but we haven't made any real arrangements yet. It is all still very much up in the air."
"Sure, I'll wait for your text then."
Before Harvey could get up, Donna grabbed Ella's hand and strode off. "Bye," she gave him a quick wave. He raised his hand in return before dropping it back on the back of the bench. It seems they can't seem to break the cycle. He kept watching her walking away. Again.