Agent Banana: you should check fairy tail out. it's awesome. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story so far. I wasn't sure if anybody was gonna like this story. I'll be doing more Harley Quinn stories and just more DC stuff in general.
when I woke up I was in my bed.
'was it a dream?' I thought
my arm was throbbing and I felt dizzy. I sat up and looked down at my arm and it was wrapped up with bandages. my clothes had dried blood on them.
Ivy walked in and she didn't look happy. she didn't look mad either. she looked worried. she sat on the edge of the bed.
"Harley, I found you laying there covered in blood and there was so much of it. I didn't know if you were alive or dead" Ivy said as she started crying.
I held her and said "it was an accident"
"I don't want to lose you" Ivy cried "your the only one that's there for me. I have no one else"
"I didn't mean to" I said
"what's wrong?" Ivy asked "is it me? am I making you feel this way?"
"no, your not" I said "it's me"
"you almost died and you know we can't go to a hospital" Ivy said "I had to stitch your arms up. I was so scared, Harley. I've never been that scared before. you have to think about your actions and how they effect the people you care about. every time you cut yourself, you might as well be cutting me to"
"I'm sorry, Ivy" I said "I'll open up to you"
"ok but only if your ready" Ivy said as she calmed herself down
"I am" I said "I didn't have the best childhood and I have a lot of anger bottled up because of it. I don't want to take it out on anyone or anything, so this is just my alternative way to dealing with it. the reason why I chose to deal with it like this is because I've never had a high self esteem and it gives me a rush. my parents made me feel worthless my whole childhood and now I realize that I am worthless. I hate myself. sometimes I think about suicide but I didn't mean to do what I did. I cut too deep on accident"
"Harley, your not worthless. your worth more than anything to me" Ivy said "you gotta let the past go, Harley. that was your childhood. this is now"
"it's not that easy!" I screamed
Ivy jumped from the unexpected scream and said "you don't have to scream at me. let's just calm down."
"I'm sorry" I said
she crawled in the bed, next to me and gently said "you wouldn't kill yourself, would you? don't ever think that's the answer. you'll come talk to me if you feel like that again, right?"
I didn't reply.
"I know you had a hard childhood. we both did" Ivy said "I'm sorry, Harley. you must have so much on your mind"
"I just want to forget but I have constant nightmares about my childhood" I said "I don't know what to do, Ivy"
"stop cutting yourself" Ivy said "please. for me?"
"I can't just stop!" I pleaded "I need it!"
"no, you don't" Ivy said "you just keep telling yourself that"
'she doesn't understand' I thought
"I'm gonna work on it, Ivy" I reassured her "I promise"
she didn't reply. she just cuddled up next to me and held me.
"I feel so lost, Ivy" I said "I feel out of place"
"you shouldn't feel like that" Ivy said "your right where your supposed to be"
"I know" I said "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but I'm just trying to get used to our new lifestyle"
"we'll make it through this" Ivy reassured me "together"
I gave her a kiss and said "I love you so much, Ivy"
after our talk, I changed into pajamas and we just laid there. we cuddled for a while. I felt guilty about this whole situation and Ivy is trying her best to be understanding but she just doesn't get it.
eventually I said "ya know what I think about a lot?"
"what's that?" Ivy asked curiously
"when Freeze gave his life so that Nora could live" I said "I should've taken his place. I thought about it but everything happened so fast."
"I'm really glad you didn't do that" Ivy said "it wasn't your problem. I know the whole thing bothers you but it's not your fault. it bothers me to when I think about it"
"if I could go back I would-" I got cut off by Ivy
"you can't go back" Ivy said "what's done is done"
"I know" I said "but if I could go back, I would have stopped fucking with the Joker before he made my skin white. I hate the way I look"
"I love the way you look" Ivy said "your beautiful"
"I'm glad somebody thinks so" I said
she ran her fingers through my hair and said "your perfect"
"does Barbara know?" I asked
"yeah, Barbara and I were going to come see if you were feeling better. I told her that you've been a little depressed lately." Ivy explained "she was with me when I found you. she helped me make sure that you weren't gonna die. you scared both of us to death"
"I should go talk to her" I said
"she's a little shaken" Ivy said "I'm sure it would help her to see that your fine"
I got up without another word and went to the spare bedroom. I knocked softly. Barbara opened the door and hugged me.
"I'm so glad you're alive, Harley" Barbara said "I thought you weren't gonna make it"
"I didn't mean for any of that to happen" I said as we stopped hugging "I'm sorry you had to see that"
"Harley, If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. i don't care if it's three in the morning or three in the afternoon. you can call me anytime you need to" Barbara explained "I'm sorry that your feeling the need to do that to yourself. I've felt like that before"
"I should've come talk to you or Ivy" I said "but I didn't. I like to think that I'll come talk to one of yous next time I feel like hurting myself"
"that's not very assuring" Barbara said "but knowing you, that's the best I'm gonna get"
"I'm unpredictable at times" I said
"trust me, I know" Barbara said "you should probably get some rest. you lost a lot of blood"
"your right, I do feel lightheaded" I said as I headed for my room "goodnight"
I laid in bed, next to Ivy and quickly drifted to sleep.
when I woke up, Ivy wasn't laying next to me anymore. I didn't feel like getting out of bed. it just felt pointless because I'm to depressed. eventually I fell back asleep, only to be woken up by Ivy.
"hey, Harley. it's three o'clock" Ivy said with a smile "I miss you. you should get up"
"I don't want to" I said as I rolled over and went back to sleep.
more time passed with me falling in and out of sleep. I woke up and looked at the clock. it read seven o'clock.
'maybe I should get up now' I thought
I got up and hopped in the shower. once I was done with my shower, I got dressed. Ivy walked in and said "your finally awake"
"unfortunately" I said
"I wanted to talk to you" Ivy said
"about what?" I asked
"the other night, Barbara asked me if she could stay with us for a little bit" Ivy said "her dad has been drinking more than usual and she said that sometimes he hits her"
"that doesn't seem like something Gordan would do" I said "did you tell her yes?"
"I did" Ivy said "she already grabbed some of her things today"
"she's such a sweet kid" I said "why would anyone ever hurt her. sometimes I think about the people that I've hurt and I ask myself, was it worth it?"
Ivy hugged me and said "your a better you now. all that stuff is behind you"
"I guess your right" I said
"let's try to be positive today!" Ivy said
"I'll try my best" I said
"are you hungry?" Ivy asked
"yeah but I'm just gonna make Ramon" I said
"you can't eat Ramon for every meal" Ivy lectured
"I can try" I said as I got up to go to the kitchen.
Ivy followed me to the kitchen and said "I'll cook you something, so you don't have to eat Ramon"
"it's ok" I said as I started making Ramon
Barbara walked in the kitchen and said "hey, guys"
"hey, Barbara" I said
"how are you feeling today?" Barbara asked
"I'm feeling ok" I said
"good" Barbara said
the microwave went off and I grabbed my Ramon. I sat down at the dining room table to eat it.
I stirred it around and I was about to take a bite until I thought 'why do I even bother?'
I got up and decided that I wasn't hungry. I dumped the food in the garbage.
"I thought you were hungry" Ivy said
"I'm not hungry anymore" I said
Ivy looked concerned but she let it go.
"ok, but let me know if you get hungry. I'll make you something" Ivy said
"ok" I said as I went into the bathroom.
I looked in the mirror and thought 'ew. look at me. now I see why Ivy doesn't want me hurting myself. she doesn't want me to look any worse than I already do'
i looked down at my stomach.
"I'm disgusting" I said
I stuck my fingers down my throat and puked into the toilet. it was unpleasant but it was for the best. I need to lose weight. I washed my mouth out and left the bathroom.
I entered the living room and Ivy was watching tv with Barbara. I sat next to Ivy and said "what's up"
"hey" Ivy said without taking her eyes off the tv.
"I love you" I said because I wanted attention.
she looked over at me and said "I love you bunches"
I snuggled with her and watched tv.
eventually, I got up to take the garbage out. I threw the garbage in the trash can that's outside and turned around to go back inside. before I could open the front door, Batman came from the side of the house and said "Harley, are you staying out of trouble?"
"oh, hey Bats" I said "yeah, I'm normal now"
he laughed and said "right. well I heard about what happened between Gordan and Barbara. Gordan told me about it and asked me to find out where she's staying. he just wants to make sure she's ok but when I heard she was staying with you, I was worried."
"she's fine, Bats." I said "me and Barbara are friends, if you didn't know already. she's safe with me"
"I'll be watching you, Quinn" Batman said as he disappeared behind the house.
I went back inside and sat on the couch with Ivy. I decided not to mention Batman's visit. his concerns seemed reasonable. I'm just glad he didn't mess with me.
"are you ok?" Ivy asked
"I'm fine" I said with a smile
I could tell that Ivy didn't believe that I was ok. I was never good at hiding my feelings.
"Barbara wanted to see if the three of us could go shopping tomorrow." Ivy said
"yeah, I figured it would help you keep your mind off stuff" Barbara said "and I need some new clothes"
"sure" I said, trying to sounds enthusiastic. "I'll buy a new hat or something"
"awesome" Barbara said with a smile "I can't wait"
I really didn't feel like doing anything at all. I just wanted to lay down and die.
Frank came out of his room and said "what's up"
"hey, I didn't think you were ever going to come out of your room" Ivy said
"me neither" Frank replied as he went into the bathroom.
"can we go get coffee?" I asked
"sure" Ivy said as she grabbed her coat and her keys.
I grabbed my hoodie and we both hopped in the car.
"I was watching the news and there's some crazy stuff going on in Gotham" Ivy said as she drove.
"same as usual" I said obviously uninterested.
"you've been so distant lately" Ivy said
"I'm not trying to be" I said
"well i just wanna know how your feeling" Ivy said
"I'm fine" I said as we pulled up to the drive thru at the coffee shop.
"I know that's not true" Ivy said "what do you want?"
we bought the coffee and went back home. it was getting pretty late and I felt tired, so I drank my coffee and went to sleep not long after.
I sat up fast in my bed and my heart was pumping. I had been woken up by a bad dream. fortunately, I couldn't remember what the dream was about. I looked at my phone and it said it was three in the morning.
Ivy rolled over and asked "did you have a bad dream?"
"yeah" I said as I cuddled with her.
"what was it about?" Ivy asked
"I can't remember" I said "but I felt scared when I woke up."
"you don't scare easy" Ivy said "it must have been really scary"
"what did you dream about?" I asked
"I've been watching Barbara play her game so much that I had a dream about it" Ivy said
"well that means you've been watching her play that game too much" I said
"yeah, your definitely right" Ivy said "I'm sorry that you had a bad dream"
"it's ok" I said "I'm used to it"
"your so dramatic" Ivy said as she kissed me "I love you"
"I love you" I said "goodnight"
"goodnight" Ivy said as we both drifted back to sleep.
I hope you like it! leave a review! I'm trying to get better at story telling, so go easy on me! I'm very new to writing.