Chapter 3
Opie woke up, feeling a dizzy, exhausted feeling in his head. He felt a perturbed feeling in his heart, as he started awake. He wanted to lay back down, and go to sleep, but he knew he couldn't. He just woke up, holding his teddy bear close to him. He prayed for the bad feeling in his heart to go away. He felt deeply saddened. He saw Andy come into his room. "Good morning, Opie". Andy said. "Mornin' Pa". Opie said. "Why don't you get ready, and we'll head to school". Andy said, gently. "Ok". Opie said. Opie played with his trucks. He came into Andy's room, seeing Esmeralda getting herself ready. "Good morning, sweetie". Esmeralda said, gently. "Mornin". Opie said. "Did you sleep alright last night, dear?". Esmeralda asked, kindly. "Not really". Opie said. "I kind of had a nightmare". "What was it about, sweetie?". Esmeralda asked, kindly. "It was about my ma". Opie said. Opie sat on Esmeralda's lap. "Oh, sweetie, I know you miss your mother, don't you?". Esmeralda asked, gently. "Yes". Opie said. "Just know she is always with you, looking down on you from the heavens, protecting you at every turn". Esmeralda said, gently. "You are always lucky to have a guardian angel protecting you, from whatever life may bring".
"I am lucky". Opie said. "So, you're not mad that I still think about my ma, and sister?". "Of course not, sweetie". Esmeralda said, kindly. "I'm honored that you would keep their memory alive". She chuckled a bit. She brushed back some strands of Opie's hair, as she stroked his face. "You're such a sweet boy". Esmeralda said, kindly. "I am so lucky to have a best friend such as you to call my own". She kissed Opie's cheek. "Thank you for being a pal". Opie said. "That's right, we're pals, now and forever". Esmeralda said, gently. She hugged Opie, kissing his cheek as well. "Sweet boy, I made you and your father a special breakfast". Esmeralda said, kindly.
"Let's go see it". She put some beige powder on her face, getting up, walking with Opie out to the kitchen. Opie came out to see mussels, salmon, eggs with wicked spicy sauce, shrimp, and bacon with chorizo sausage. "Wow!". "This is swell!". Opie said, laughing and giggling. "I knew you'd like it, sweetie pie". Esmeralda said, nuzzling Opie. Opie laughed, and giggled. "Eggs, and bacon!". Opie said, happily. "Yes, and look, there's mussels, have you ever had those?". "Chorizo, shrimp". "Why don't we try some and have a few things". Esmeralda said, gently. "Ok". Opie said. Esmeralda helped Opie sit down, as she tied a bib around his neck. "There you are, sweet boy". She said, gently. She kissed both of his cheeks. Andy came in, sitting down. "Wow, this looks scrumptious". Andy said. "Yes, this is eggs benedict, chorizo, shrimp, mussels with a spicy regale, and salmon". Esmeralda said, putting a plate down in front of Andy. "there you are, gentlemen". "Eat as much as you like".
"Thank you". Andy said. They kissed one another on the lips. Esmeralda sat down, and fixed herself a plate. "This is sure nice, Pa". Opie said. "Yes, it quite is". Andy said, gently. "Your woman sure knows how to cook''. Esmeralda said, smirking a bit. "She does, and she is very good with it". Andy said. They all ate their breakfast, as Opie ate a considerable amount, and then didn't eat anything". "Opie, are you alright?". Andy asked, gently. "Yes, kind of". Opie said. "What's wrong, sweetie?". Esmeralda asked, gently. "Are you ok?". "Well, I kind of had a nightmare last night". Opie said. "It was about my ma". "Oh, well not to worry, son". Andy said, gently. "I've had nightmares myself, but, I know everything will be ok". "You've had nightmares?". Esmeralda asked gently, with concern. "Oh, sweetie, you never told me that". She put a hand over Andy's hand. "I never told you because I haven't told anyone besides Opie". Andy said. "I feel just horrible about it". "I never thought I would feel this terrible, but, I guess now I have". "It eats me up, day and night". "I've thought about death and what happens after life". "I wondered what it would be like, and where exactly my wife and daughter went now that they're no longer with us".
"I feel sad too, Pa". Andy said. "I thought about dyin a few times, also". "Yes, well, it is a hard feeling, isn't it?". Andy said, sighing, dejected. "I think I need help". "I think we both need help with some things". "Oh, sweetie". Esmeralda said, gently. She put a hand over Andy's hand. "I love you both, tremendously, and I wouldn't want anything to happen to either of you". "I have someone, a family counselor you both can see". "He is a lot out of pocket, but he can be helpful". "Besides, if you both ever need to talk, I'm always here for you, with anything you need". Esmeralda said, kindly. "Ok". Opie said. "Of course, hon". Andy said, gently. Esmeralda kissed Andy's cheek. "My doodlebug". She whispered. She rubbed Andy's shoulder.
"There's the bus now, Opie". Andy said. "Run along and grab it before it gets away". "Ok, see you later Pa". Opie said. "See you later, Opie". Andy said, gently. He hugged Opie. "Have a wonderful day, my sweet love". Esmeralda said, kindly. She kissed Opie's cheek.
Opie went out to catch the bus. The front door's screen flew shut behind him. Andy and Esmeralda sat now, ready to talk. "Honey". Esmeralda said, gently with concern. "How have you been feeling?". "Be completely honest, as honesty helps us get to the root of the problem".
"I'm fearful for mine, and Opie's life". Andy said, with concern. "I've thought about death a couple times, and while there's no plans to hurt myself yet, I have felt fearful of death, and I have thought about dying". "I'm afraid I'll fall asleep, and I won't wake up". "I'm afraid my son will fall asleep, and won't wake up". "I'm afraid I'll try and harm myself, I feel like death is coming, and I'm scared". Andy said.
"Oh, honey". Esmeralda said, gently. She held Andy's hand, as she could see fear in her boyfriend's eyes. True, genuine fear. It was wonderful, and lauded that a man could break the wall of silence, and share his feelings. It could prevent devastation in the near future. "I wonder about death sometimes, and I wonder about what it would be like hurting myself". Andy said, with fear. "I don't want anything to happen, believe me, but, I just don't feel right, and neither does Opie". "Sometimes, when I think about it, I want to put my fist through the door".
There were tears welling up in Andy's eyes. "Sweetie". Esmeralda said, gently, softly. "I know it was traumatic, watching your late wife pass away, watching your daughter pass away". "That has an effect on you". "Believe me, I know it does". Esmeralda held Andy's hand. "I'm scared". Andy said. "I know you are, baby". Esmeralda said, gently. Andy got up from the table, walking into his bedroom. He went and sat on the bed, looking down at his feet. "Opie thinks about it, too, I know he does". "He tells me everyday". Andy said, dejectedly. Esmeralda came in, putting a hand on Andy's shoulder. "Sweetheart, I know it's a battle, handling this depression". Esmeralda said, gently. "Just know I am here with you every step of the way, and we'll get through this, together". "This is not easy for anyone, but, we'll work through your fears, and get to a good place". She rubbed Andy's shoulder.
"What we're going to do for it, is get you checked out, maybe put you on a new medication, I'll get you situated with a grief counselor". "Dr. Handers". "He's a man, so he'll be perfect to connect with, and get us situated for a new start, a new journey, together". Esmeralda said, gently. "Perhaps, I might do a bit of redecorating". "It'll be alright, sweetie". "I know it will be". She kissed Andy on the lips. "Oh, alright". Andy said. He kissed Esmeralda on the lips. "Why don't we lay down, and I'll get us some champagne". Esmeralda whispered, gently. She kissed him on the lips, as she helped him lay down on the bed. Andy felt a little bit better now that he was laying down. Now that he was helping his exhausted mind to think. He just laid, calming himself down. He was beginning to feel fearful, but now, things were getting better as they went. He laid down, breathing, as he felt the rush of emotions come over him, making him feel better.
He just laid, feeling the exhaustion rush over him, as he laid, trying not to feel fearful. He awaited Esmeralda coming back with champagne glasses. She set them nearby on the dresser. "Are you feeling alright, baby?". Esmeralda asked, gently. She embraced Andy. "I am, sort of". Andy said. "Mm, let me spoil you, my handsome man". Esmeralda said, kindly. She kissed Andy on the lips. They kissed passionately, as Andy wrapped his hands around Esmeralda's waist. Esmeralda began unbuttoning Andy's shirt, undoing his pants. "What...what's happening?". "What if something…?". "What if something happens?". Andy asked. "Shh, don't worry, don't talk, everything will be just fine, you'll see". Esmeralda whispered. She unbuttoned Andy's shirt, undoing his pants. "But...but...but…". Andy said. "Shh, just follow my lead". "Everything will be just fine". "Just follow me". She whispered. "It's ok". "You're doing wonderfully". Esmeralda assured. "Oh...ok". Andy said. Esmeralda kissed Andy's lips, taking his clothes off. Andy felt the spin of fear leave his body, and a rush of god's love, God's assurance, come over him. He kissed Esmeralda's lips, as her lips met his. Their tongues curled around one another as they kissed. Andy found himself unhooking Esmeralda's bra, as he slipped off her dress. "We'll get through this". She whispered. "My love". They were both naked, as they kissed voraciously. They kissed with passion, they kissed with love, as they curled their tongues. Andy felt the squishing, and the pressing of his lips against Esmeralda's. They kissed, as he felt the comforting touch of Esmeralda's hands against his bare chest. They both kissed, as they laid in bed, feeling the essence of love, the essence of comfort surround them, as their bodies connected. They kissed, as they felt their love situate them. Their love was immense. Andy felt his body pressed against Esmeralda's body. He felt his lips pressed against her lips, feeling her breasts. He felt her vagina as he inserted his organ into hers. He inserted his organ into Esmeralda's vagina. They still both kissed. They still both felt their lips against one another.
Esmeralda gasped for air, as their organs clicked. She gasped for air, as their organs came together. They both felt content, as Andy, even for a moment, felt better. He got to feeling better as time went on. Their love was intense as of now. Andy felt better, he felt all of his fears melt away, as time lept forth with him, coming into synchronicity with his schedule. It came into sync with him, and for a while, he forgot how sad he was.
Opie sat in class, keeping the tears, keeping the pain in a little bit. Until his body shook at certain intervals. He could no longer keep the pain inside. He began crying loudly. He just sat in his seat, crying. His teacher came over, seeing what was wrong. "Opie". She said, gently. "Young man, are you ok?". "Well, not really". Opie said, sniffling. "I...I...I'm trying, ma'am". "I really am". He began sobbing. His teacher, Ms. Anders, could see the fear in his eyes. "Young man, I'm truly sorry you feel that way". Ms. Anders said, gently. "I...I'm doing my best". Opie said, sobbing.
"Why don't you take a break for just a short while". Mrs. Anders said, kindly. "Ok". Opie said. Opie laid his head down on his desk. It wasn't a bad time, although he wished he were at home. He felt the pain in his chest, the rapid pounding only get worse off.
Later on, Andy came to pick him up from school. Opie stood there, with his milk in his hand. "Howdy, Opie, how was school today?". Andy asked gently. "It was fine, I believe". Opie said, quietly. "Day didn't go so well?". Andy asked. "No". Opie said, quietly. "I had...I didn't...I don't know what happened".
"I didn't have such a great day, myself". Andy said, gently. "Not until at least, Esmeralda calmed my nerve". "She is a fine woman, and she certainly does have a lot to offer us". "But I assure you, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about your mother and sister". "I still become sad, I still get frightened a bit, I still think about death sometimes".
"What happens when we die?". Opie asked, looking up at Andy. "well, you know Opie, no one truly knows for sure". Andy said, gently. "It's hard to say whether or not we'll be with our loved ones again". "I miss your mother". He felt himself sniffling a bit.
"I remember, one of the best times was, when you, and little Addie, and your mother were outside washing the car, and, your mother chased you all around with the hose, and scooped some soap suds up in her hands, and, bent down, let you blow the bubbles". Andy recalled.
"Your mother would pick you and your sister up, hold you both in her arms, and kiss both of you".
"I remember that". Opie said. "Mommy used to read me a story every night before I went to bed". "Then she would play with tinker toys with me".
"Yes, I remember when your mother and I adopted both you and Addie". Andy said, gently. "She couldn't have any children, but she was so delighted to see both you, and Addie for the first time when you both came home with us". "She always said you and your sister were her greatest gift".
"What does adoption have, Pa?". Opie asked. "What's good about it?". "Well, adoption has many benefits for anyone that can't have children, or would like children". Andy said, gently. "Your mother was thrilled to begin adopting, but the process was hard". "We had to have background interviews, and have the house checked, and have someone talk to us individually". "It was a difficult process, but, we figured it out, and went ahead with adopting both you and your sister". "I'm glad even to this day, you both got out of the situation you were in". "It was hard on you both, but, you both went ahead, and you became the amazing children you always were".
"I remember me and Ma would eat spaghetti with mushrooms cut up into it". Opie said. "Yes, you both loved spaghetti a lot". Andy said, gently. "Your sister loved spaghetti, and mushrooms, spinach". "But, your mother would have a food fight, and let you taste it while it cooked". "She was amazing that way". "Then, when we drove up to Yellowstone, you and your sister would sleep in the back of the car". "It was a wonderful time, believe me".
"It was". Opie said. "I remember Ma would hold me, and sing to me before I went to bed". "Yes, she did that, and she would carry you outside, and let you look at the snow, when you woke up". Andy said, gently. "A few of my best times with your mother were when we would be alone, and dance together". "I would hold her close, and for even a second, it felt like we were the only two people in the world".
"I miss her more than anything". Andy said, gently. He sniffled a bit. Opie could see the sadness, the loss in Andy's eyes. Opie felt even more nervous, and troubled. He felt as if his heart was about to beat out of his chest, it beat rapidly.
"I miss mommy, too". Opie said. "I kinda". "I'm scared, Pa". He looked up at Andy as these new feelings of fear arose within him. "Well, what we do need to take care of, is having faith". Andy said, gently. "We should have faith in ourselves, in what we do, and how life is carried out". "Feeling scared, and being cynical doesn't help anyone in these situations". "We should definitely be positive". "I'll try to, myself". He sniffled a bit, feeling nervous. He felt saddened, but he also, when calling Esmeralda to mind, felt peace, and joy. It was as if a new love had blossomed.
"Well, I know Ezzy isn't supposed to be a replacement for nobody, but, I do love her". Andy said, gently. "Every time I think of her, this amazing feeling comes over me, and I just, I feel happy, and I feel safe". "She is an amazing woman".
"She is nice". Opie said. "She lets me stay up past my bedtime, and watch the news". "She is certainly the nice occupancy". Andy chuckled. "But, I love her as she reminds me so much of your mother". "Warm, supportive, caring". "I can just see us beginning a new life with her on all turns". "I hope you don't mind, but, I think I may ask her to marry me".
"When, Pa?". Opie asked. "Right away if she says yes". Andy said, gently. "Would it be ok if she married me?". "Do keep in mind, she's not a replacement for Ma, in any way". "She's just helping us out".
"Sure thing, Pa". Opie said. Opie felt as if Esmeralda brought him joy, also. He and Andy could both agree they felt safe around Esmeralda.
Opie felt optimistic for the future. He felt there could be a new life with Esmeralda. He just had to get these dark thoughts out of there, first.