This is a meadow. From its soil, herbs grow. Some of their stalks grow tall. If they don't flower, they fruit or nut.
At this time of day, the sun is low...but rising. Hence, the herbs are dormant. They won't be for long, though. They've all been here long enough to know when to expect the sun to rise. And in Puerto Rico, the sun's presence is often taken for granted...for there's often more of it than what's needed...or even wanted, in some cases.
Some of these herbs are worth killing for. And to make matter worse, the Catalans seem to know how much they're worth.
Every now and then, the relative morning calm is shattered...by a war cry. Legend has it there's a woman on this island; a Taíno amazon of sorts. A man with a large family has wronged her. And she's out there...for revenge...headhunting her ex-husband's family, one by one...goose, woodpecker, and male infant...
Shadowy jungle surrounds the meadow. From it, a boy emerges. Meet Saturnino Hernandez. He's another Catalan...and hence, a long way from home. Someone's sent him for those herbs. As much as he'd sometimes love to...he won't leave without them. He's being paid more than just money for that.
He freezes, as he hears the amazon's war cries again. Lucky for him, she's still very far away. Good; for Saturnino's sake, he sure hopes that her ex-family stays as far away from this meadow as possible.
Alas, Saturnino's not sure why they'd avoid this patch of herbs...if they're truly as valuable as the Taíno say. Funny; before Saturnino first came to Puerto Rico, he was under the impression that the Taíno have killed, and still kill, for these herbs... Saturnino finds it hard to believe that they don't kill CATALANS for them...
With his hands, Saturnino shovels soil from spots on the ground, and unearths bulbs and seeds. He dead-heads flowers and pods, mixes them in his hand, and lets them all fall into a bag he carries. He breaks open huge nuts, and plucks the seeds from them.
Back in the jungle, a woodpecker hammers on wood. Saturnino freezes, and listens. That woodpecker seems hard at work. As long as he's been in Puerto Rico, Saturnino STILL isn't used to a lot of the jungle's noises. And the woodpecker's pecking...does something to him. He's not sure what it is...but he's not sure he likes it.
He might like it a bit TOO much, in a way that'd be hard to explain to anyone who didn't have... Like he said; he's not sure he likes it.
Nearby, a huge melon sits. Someone back at the Catalan settlement has promised Saturnino extra doubloons, if he comes back with a few of its seeds... With luck, this one isn't the seedless variety...
Saturnino's brought a hatchet. He looks around, and creeps up to the melon. He raises the hatchet, and...
He hears the amazon's war cry again...and freezes. He listens. This time, he hears hoofbeats. They're getting louder. She cries again. IT'S louder, too...
Thinking quickly, Saturnino sees a fallen hollow log. As devious as a grison, he backs into it, taking his bag and hatchet with him. From there, he prays to Catalonia's gods...if they even ever come to visit Puerto Rico.
Someone's arrived. They slow in the meadow...and stop.
For Saturnino, this is bad news. He'd half-hoped she'd ride on, past this place.
She dismounts, and walks around. She cups her hands over her lips, and shouts words in Taíno. They're gibberish to Saturnino...but he's pretty sure he knows what she wants. That's no mating call...that he's been taught.
And yet, he finds it a bit attractive... Alas, he must snap out of it. That amazon is more than old enough to be his mother. Plus, she's Taíno. Saturnino's Catalan.
Slowly, Jo Hammer-udder turns her head. Her icy gaze falls on the log.
Saturnino's heart freezes in his chest, as he hears something big and panther-like crawling up the log...towards its hollowed opening.
Hammer-udder's atop it. She's topless. She creeps along the top of the log...until she gets to the opening.
Scared shitless, Saturnino lies on the bottom of the log, and hopes for deliverance. He doesn't expect it. And yet, somehow, he stays silent.
Hammer-udder's got a woodpecker tattoo...on her right boob. Don't let her fierce amazon looks fool you; Hammer-udder is very much the maternal type. Hell, she'd probably have a family of her own...if she wasn't so obsessed with avenging the broken heart her exes-in-law have left her with...
He's looking up...right through a crack in the log's wood. Through it, he can see the grey sky of the cracking dawn.
It's blocked from his view...as the shadows of Hammer-udder's upper body creep past. Her tit gets stuck in the crack Saturnino looks through...and she stops. She looks around, and smells the air.
Now, Saturnino gapes. He's looking at Hammer-udder's teat. He could just reach out and touch it. Alas, he values his own ass too much. He dares not. She'd surely have his ass, if she knew it was right under her.
Above, she sneers something sinister in Taíno. Saturnino doesn't understand it...but in this sitch, he'd never be gladder to not be one of her treacherous exes-in-law.
She tries to rise...and discovers that her tit is stuck in the crack. She nearly rips off her left boob, while trying to get up. Enraged, she pulls on her exposed boob, trying to get her tit out of the wood. Alas, it's no use. For once, she's not strong enough to get herself out of a bind.
She takes a rest. Saturnino hesitates to do this...but if he wants her to leave, and if he wants to survive this...he must.
With velvet hands, he presses his fingers against the surface of her tit. Several parts of his body freeze and generate steam at the same time, as he does this. He waits, to see if she feels anything. What luck; if she doesn't, she doesn't show it. With even more velvet hands, he slides the tit away, and gently pushes it up, through a wider part of the crack.
Above, Hammer-udder thinks she's ready for another try. She breathes, and warms up her biceps. She's ready to rock this bitch all the way to Barcelona.
She grabs her teat, pulls...and flies right off the log, landing right into the melon Saturnino's been meaning to get seeds from. Back inside the log, Saturnino's tempted to snicker...but doesn't dare give himself away.
She climbs from the melon's mess, swears, pulls a seed out of her boob crack, and throws it back into the mess, swearing again. She shouts in rage, re-mounts her steed, and rides away, shouting war cries as she goes.
At long last, Saturnino breathes relief. For that prolonged moment, he thought he was a goner.
In his other hand, he holds the hand...whose finger touched the Hammer-udder's tit...and lived to tell about it. Now, he pants like crazy. This finger is now probably worth more than every herb in this meadow. And yet...Saturnino doesn't know whether to wash it, or to...plunge it into a heap of tapir shit.
And before this, Saturnino thought that his boss's wife was a battle ax... At least the hatchet he brought for the melon doesn't need cleaning right now...