I am sprinting through a long school hallway. I can almost reach out and touch her. Just a little more…
Farther.
Farther.
Farther.
My legs are as heavy as cinderblocks and my lungs are scorched in a heat only rivaled by the red, hot fire in my heart. "How is she running so fast?" I yell in my head. The ground between us stretches further and my breathing is becoming shallower.
Faster.
Faster!
FASTER!
Stars invade my vision, and my eyes are getting blurrier by the second. I can barely see her flowing white hair vanish into the distance as my legs refuse to cooperate any longer. I drop to my knees, wheezing for air. Tears stream down my cheeks and I dare to look up in Shiina's direction one last time.
"No…" I whisper to the air. She's gone.
I bring my knees to my chest and hug them tightly. I take deep, shaky breaths to try and control the whirlwind of emotions that threaten to overwhelm me. Sorrow. Anger. Loneliness. Regret. They each hit me, wave after wave crashing against me. Each one attempting to drag me into an ocean of despair.
My defense against this onslaught nearly gives way when I am suddenly embraced from behind. A pair of arms gently wrap around my chest and the torrential flood of painful emotions recedes almost immediately. The hug tightens and I feel a soft touch on my cheek… followed by a quiet "chuu-" and a giggle. I feel my cheeks begin to warm rapidly when I notice the two soft mounds pressed tightly against my back. I turn my head to the side and Nanami's face is a mere few inches from my own. My cheeks grow redder still at the sight of her luscious hair and her eyes piercing with intensity. She looks determined. There is a faint blush dusting her cheeks as well and she stares into my eyes with a gentle smile. She closes her eyes and begins slowly leaning in. The smell of milk and papayas wafts through the air. "Wow, what an incredible smell." I think in my head. I can feel her breath caress my face, just centimeters from my own, yet she grows nearer with every moment.
Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
My eyes open and I jolt my head upwards. Stars immediately begin to flash dance in my vision. I must have sat up to fast. "I need to be more careful. I still feel a bit weak from the accident." I think to myself as I attempt to rub the apparitions out of my eyes with the top of my hand.
Wait a second. "Where am I?" I say aloud as I analyze my surroundings for the first time.
"You must have fallen asleep in class, Kanda-kun.. its already about thirty minutes after school gets out", Nanami says, her hand casually resting on my shoulder.
She must be right. The school is eerily quiet, and we are the only two in the classroom.
I glance up at her and the moment our eyes lock I immediately look away, blushing furiously. The dream I was just having floods into my memory and I can no longer bring myself to look her way. I bury my face back in my arms and try to force the dream out of my head.
Nanami gently shakes my shoulder and asks in a concerned tone, "Are you okay, Kanda-kun? If you're feeling down, you can talk to me." She continues mindlessly rubbing my shoulder as she says this, likely looking to comfort me in some way. All she is really doing is making my embarrassment worse. I can't blame her for thinking that way, though. I haven't really been leaving my room at Sakurasou all too often. I've essentially turned into another Ryounusuke. I just don't have the drive to do much of anything lately.
So much has happened lately and I'm just always exhausted, always at my limit. I can't stay awake during class and sleep constantly alludes me at night. Thoughts of Shiina assault me relentlessly and my focus on schoolwork has been non-existent. Not to mention how hazy my thinking can still be from that accident a few weeks ago. To top it all off, now I'm having these selfish dreams about Nanami, my dear friend who has always looked out for me? I really am the worst.
"Kanda-kun? Did you fall back asleep?" Nanami says.
I better get up before I really worry her.
I raise my head and slowly rub my eye, trying to get out of my head and back to the present.
I force a smile and look up at her, saying "Sorry! I just haven't been sleeping well recently. I'm fine though. Really.
Nanami looks unconvinced but doesn't reply immediately. Suddenly her eyes dart to my shoulder, where her hand has been lightly rubbing it all this time. Her cheeks turn red and she quickly withdraws her hand, looking away from me.
"Do- don't think anything of it! I was just trying to wake you up, lazy!" Nanami says with an exasperated tone.
"Ah I know, sorry again.." I reply, my voice trailing off as I look away from her with an ounce of shame.
"Hey, c'mon, stop apologizing. I didn't mind waiting for you. I just…" She stops mid-sentence and looks like she wants to say something. After a few seconds, instead of continuing she abruptly grabs my arm and pulls me out of my chair.
Her action surprises me causing me to stumble towards her. I latch onto her to prevent us both from falling. My mind goes momentarily blank as a familiar scent washes over me. Milk and papayas. We quickly separate and Nanami begins to sheepishly rub her shoulder and quickly apologizes.
"Sorry Kanda-kun, I shouldn't have gotten you up so fast. Anyways, we've got to get going or they're going to close!"
Nanami grabs my hand and begins to lead me gently but firmly out of the classroom and down the hallway, ignoring my half-hearted protests. I don't even know where we are going!
I might as well go along with it. It's not like I can stop her once she makes up her mind on something. I also owe her so much for everything she's done for me since my accident. That whole ordeal must have been terrifying for her, after all.
After about 10 minutes of walking in silence we finally reach our destination.
I feel myself slowly start to smile as I realize where we are going. It's the pet store I frequent about once a month to buy cat food.
"What are we doing here, Aoyoma-san? I still have enough cat food…" My voice trails off as Nanami walks through the door, ignoring me completely and leaving me alone outside.
I follow her inside, slightly annoyed at being ignored. I am greeted by 6 adorable kittens meowing excitedly at Nanami and I. We spend the next 45 minutes playing with the kittens in the store and end up being asked to leave as they need to close up. The darkness that clouded my mind has receded significantly, and I direct my first real, genuine smile at Nanami in quite some time.
"Thank you, Nanami. I'm feeling a lot better today, thanks to you. I really don't deserve your kindness."
"You're welcome, Kanda-kun." She replies, a light blush dusting her cheeks. "You do deserve it, and so much more…"
"What was that? I didn't catch that last part." I reply.
"N-nothing! Let's get back to Sakurasou before it gets too late!"
So we begin the trip back to our dorm, and I start to reminisce on the whirlwind of a day we had spent together.
You know, that dream I had, maybe that really wouldn't be so bad after all…