Quick warning, this chapter does contain discussions of an upcoming amputation.

"You've been very quiet."

Emily let out a long breath, and forced her eyes open again. "Physical therapy is tiring."

It wasn't a lie, her whole body ached and she didn't think she could move even if she wanted to, but JJ fixed her with a knowing look. "Come on, Emily," she said gently. "Talk to me."

Emily suppressed a sigh with an effort. Having JJ back was wonderful, and welcome return to something that kind of resembled normality, but her friend knew her far too well. JJ leaned forward, her beautiful face creased in concern.

"The doctor said you should be able to leave in a few days."

Emily nodded. She had been lucky, all things considered. The last time she was shot she had been stuck in hospital for nearly three weeks. Unfortunately, her upcoming discharge was part of the problem. "They also said that I shouldn't be home alone."

JJ quirked an eyebrow at her. "That's pretty understandable. You did get shot."

"I'm okay."

She was eating actual food now, and she could make it to the bathroom, as long as she had something to hold onto on the way. Bending over was more of a challenge, and lifting anything out of the question, but she was coping. She was doing fine.

JJ just sighed.

"Emily. Please."

The compassion in her eyes hurt. Emily fiddled with her phone, unable to meet that steady gaze. "I know," she finally muttered. "But I just want to go home and forget all this."

It was an impossible dream. She knew that. She was doing well, but she needed help still, and would do for a few weeks at least. And Clyde…

Emily flinched away from that thought. She had had a day to process Clyde's revelation, and it still made her sick to her stomach. She didn't know how she would manage the next few weeks, and she still had all her limbs. She checked her messages, desperate for a distraction, and looked up in time to see JJ's eyes tighten.

"I would invite you to stay, but with Henry…" She trailed off with a grimace. Emily reached over to touch her hand.

"I get it," she said gently. She looked down. "I…I haven't been sleeping well."

She had seen Doyle almost every night. More than one of the nurses had woken her from nightmares. The last thing she wanted to do was disturb Henry. JJ paled slightly.

"I'm sorry, Emily." She paused. "Have you talked to anyone?"

Emily shook her head. "I will," she promised. "But, not yet."

JJ didn't look convinced, but Emily could hardly blame her for that. None of them were good at talking about their own problems. She shook her head and changed the subject. "I hear you're coming back to the BAU."

JJ eyed her, but visibly decided to let it go and smiled. "That's the plan. I'm still working on it, but I'm hopeful."

"That's wonderful," said Emily fervently. "We've missed you."

It just hadn't been the same without JJ. JJ squeezed her hand. "I missed you all too. There is going to be one change though. Not a bad one," she said quickly, when Emily tensed. "I'm taking the profiler's course."

Emily let out a long breath. "Don't scare me like that! But that's great news! You'll be an amazing profiler."

"I hope so," said JJ. "It's going well so far."

"Good," said Emily with a smile. Her phone buzzed again and she reached for it, but though the baby panda pictures from Garcia were a welcome relief it wasn't the message she had been hoping for and she dropped it with a sigh.

"Everything okay?"

Emily blinked up. JJ nodded to her phone. "You seem to be waiting for something?"

She had never been able to hide anything from JJ, and that was before she started training as a profiler. Emily sighed. "They're transferring Clyde out of the ICU today."

JJ made a soft noise of understanding, and Emily nodded. "He'll be on the next ward over. He promised to let me know when he's settled."

"That's good," said JJ gently. "How's he doing?"

Emily's mouth went dry. She hadn't told any of the team about the complications in Clyde's case; it wasn't her place to do so, and Clyde wanted time to process it. JJ's eyes narrowed, and Emily spoke before she could say anything.

"Better. The neurosurgeons aren't so worried about his head injury, and for once he's actually being good about taking his pain meds."

That wouldn't last long, but for now the nurses were keeping a close eye on him. JJ knew her better than that though, and she frowned. "There's something else."

Emily closed her eyes. She couldn't hurt Clyde, wouldn't, but she had to tell her friends something. She looked up to meet JJ's worried gaze. "He needs more operations on his foot," she said quietly. "It's not… He's worried about it."

JJ winced in sympathy. Emily looked down at her blank phone screen. "I want to be there for him. None of this would have happened if he had just stayed away."

"You know he never could have done that," JJ pointed out. "And I for one am glad." Emily stared at her, but JJ met her gaze without flinching. "Because if he had then you might be dead, and not one of us could ever think that was the better option."

Emily opened her mouth, then closed it again. That wasn't exactly something she could argue with. If she were in Clyde's position she would have done exactly the same thing, and in the exact same way. JJ smiled at her. "I know it's easier said than done, but you can't keep blaming yourself. None of this was your fault."

Emily attempted a smile, but it faded quickly. JJ was right. That didn't make it any easier to accept. JJ sighed, but before she could say anything Emily's phone screen lit up. Emily grabbed for it and smiled.

"Clyde's ready." She threw the blankets aside, then winced as the sudden movements made her injuries throb. JJ caught her arm.

"Slow down. You don't have to get there straight away. Let me find a wheelchair."

Emily took the chance to collect herself. The last thing Clyde needed was to be worrying about her. She messaged back to tell him she was on her way, then smiled as JJ returned with the wheelchair. "Thanks, JJ."

"No problem. I talked to the nurses too, they're fine with it."

Emily had been planning to go whatever the staff said, but she had the sense not to say as much. Judging from the gleam of amusement in JJ's eyes, she didn't need to. Emily ran a hand through her hair to get out the worst of the tangles, and eased herself into the wheelchair.

"I don't really need this thing, you know. I walked further this morning."

"Under the supervision of a physiotherapist," said JJ. "I don't think I can catch you if you fall. At least, not without tearing your stitches and getting you stuck in here for even longer."

Emily pulled a face. "Okay, you've made your point."

JJ nodded, a smile tugging at her lips, but refrained from pressing the matter as she pushed Emily through to the next ward. Emily stopped her a few doors away.

"I can definitely handle six feet, and I don't want him worrying about me."

Thankfully JJ didn't argue. She did stay close as Emily moved carefully to the door and knocked.

"Come in."

"I'll wait out here," JJ began, but Emily shook her head.

"He'd like to meet you."

He had mentioned wanting to meet the people who had saved his life, and now was as good a time as any. Emily pushed open the door and smiled to see Clyde sitting up. He still looked far too pale, his skin was almost grey under the bruises, but he gave a warm smile at her entrance.

"Emily. You're looking better."

"I feel better," said Emily. "The surgeons say I can head home in a few days." She settled into one of the chairs and glanced back at JJ. "This is my friend, Jennifer Jareau. JJ, Clyde Easter."

"Charmed," said Clyde, with what was a good attempt at his usual cocky smile. "I understand I owe you a great deal."

JJ shook her head, a slight smile playing about her own lips. "You helped Emily when we couldn't. The pleasure is all mine."

Clyde inclined his head, his smile fading. "Still. Thank you." He looked at Emily. "How are you, Emily?"

"I told you," said Emily. "I'm a lot better."

"Yes, but that doesn't really answer my question." His hand went to his chest for a moment before he dropped it again. "Come on, Em. Humour me."

Emily's protests died on her lips. She looked Clyde over again, this time taking in the dark bags under his eyes and the tremor in his fingers, and shifted her chair so that she could take his hand. "I'm okay," she said softly. "Really. I'm eating properly, I'm walking, and I'm taking all my medicine." She managed a smile that almost felt genuine. "I'll be okay. I promise."

Clyde held her gaze for a long moment before a little of the tension left his face, and he gave her a faint smile. Emily ached to give him a hug, but that was more physical contact than he was comfortable with on a good day, and she settled for squeezing his fingers.

"I'm more worried about you," she said gently.

As she'd expected, he immediately shook his head. "You shouldn't be."

Emily just looked at him, and this time he was the one who looked away. Emily chewed on her lip, desperate to press him but unwilling to stress him further, but Clyde spoke again before she could decide.

"The surgeons will be coming round tomorrow morning." His voice was barely audible, and Emily had to lean in closer. "If the infection has spread…"

He trailed off, eyes drifting closed. Emily swallowed. She could feel JJ's eyes burning into her back, but kept her focus on Clyde. "They'll do everything they can," she said finally. "It…They'll only do it if there's no other choice."

Clyde said nothing, but a fierce shudder wracked his body. His grip tightened convulsively around hers, and Emily's stomach lurched at the first sign of fear she had seen from him. Her eyes burned, and she had to take a moment before she could try to say anything.

"Clyde-"

"Emily," Clyde interrupted. "Can we not? Please."

Of course he wouldn't want to talk about it. Emily cast desperately about for a change of subject. "Have you heard anything from Interpol?"

Clyde's face smoothed into a blank mask, and Emily felt her cheeks burn. Of all the things she could have said, she found the worst possible topic. "I mean, uh…"

"Actually, I might have some news on that front."

Emily jumped. She had nearly forgotten that JJ was still in the room. Clyde's eyes narrowed slightly, but he just cocked his head in silent enquiry. JJ moved so that she was standing next to Emily.

"Hotch has been talking to them," she said. "They asked for my input."

Not for the first time, Emily wondered just what JJ had been doing for the last six months. There was no way her friend had just been sitting behind a desk all this time.

"They're not happy," she said bluntly. "But in light of Doyle's most recent killing spree, they're feeling slightly more understanding."

Emily let out a breath. That could only be a good thing. Clyde though, still didn't look happy. "How they're feeling is irrelevant," he said quietly. He pulled away from Emily and folded his arms. "Shafiq came by earlier. I'm suspended."

Emily stared, but JJ was already shaking her head. "With pay, and you have a lot of support among your colleagues."

Clyde's eyes widened, and the confusion there was enough to erode the last of Emily's patience. "You're suspended?"

"That was always going to happen," said Clyde, but he didn't meet her gaze.

"Clyde-"

"I knew the risks, Emily. Better suspended than dead."

Emily frowned at the rare curtness. Clyde closed his eyes for a moment, then let his head fall back against the pillow. "I'm sorry, Em. I'm bad company at the moment."

He sounded calm, if tired, but every one of Emily's instincts suddenly screamed a warning. Next to her, she felt JJ stiffen, but she leaned forward to touch Clyde's arm. "You've never been bad company," she said. "Not even during that mission in Dubai."

She had been hoping for a smile, but she would take the slight lightening of the frown the comment earned her. She squeezed his arm. "Hey, look at me."

It took a moment, but he finally looked up at her. Emily's mouth was suddenly bone dry, and she had to swallow hard before she could say anything. "I should have said this earlier."

"Emily-"

"Thank you, Clyde."

It wasn't nearly enough for everything that she wanted to say. Clyde stared at her for a long second, then shook his head. "You've said that already." He started to push himself upright, then fell back with a stifled groan.

"Clyde?"

Emily stood, ignoring the pain that shot through her own stomach, but JJ was in the way. She helped Clyde back down again, and kept one hand on his shoulder. "Sit down, Emily," she said, over her shoulder. "Agent Easter, the surgeons spent a lot of time stitching you up, I don't think they'd appreciate having to re-do their hard work."

Clyde's eyes were very wide as he stared up at her. Emily sat back down, a wry smile touching her lips. It was remarkably difficult to defy JJ when she put her foot down. Clyde finally let himself rest back, and JJ gave him a warm smile.

"That's better. Would you like anything?"

"No, thank you," said Clyde. The last of the colour had drained from his face and he had one arm pressed tight against his chest, but he was already refocusing on Emily. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, just moved a little fast." The pain was fading, but her stomach was still aching. JJ checked her watch and frowned.

"It's time for your next lot of painkillers."

"That can wait," Emily began, but Clyde was already shaking his head.

"Go on, Emily." He forced a smile. "I'm under strict orders to get as much rest as possible anyway."

Emily hesitated, but she didn't stand a chance against both Clyde and JJ. "All right," she said. "But if you need anything…"

Clyde's smile softened into something a little more genuine. "I know." After a beat, he added, "Will you come back tomorrow?"

"As soon as they let me," Emily promised. She stood up, more carefully this time, and shuffled forward to touch his hand. "And if you need me, call and I'll come anyway."

"Or one of us will come," said JJ. She raised an eyebrow when both Emily and Clyde blinked at her. "You need your rest," she said to Emily, before turning to Clyde. "I'll understand if you'd rather talk to Emily, or one of your colleagues, but if you call me, or any of us, we will answer."

She laid a card with their contact details on his bedside table, then paused. "I meant what I said earlier. Agent Shafiq said that a number of your colleagues had spoken in your defence, and she was sympathetic herself. You're not alone in this."

Emily had really missed JJ. Clyde still looked like he couldn't quite understand what was happening, and Emily shuffled forward to take his hand. "I told you I wasn't leaving this time," she said. Clyde's eyes widened a little, but Emily wasn't finished. "You risked everything for me. I know what helping me has cost you." She couldn't help a quick glance at his bandaged foot, at the leg that he might lose because of her, and had to swallow before she could continue, "Please. Let me help."

"Let us help," JJ corrected.

Clyde looked between them for a long moment, then he shook his head. "I was your team leader," he said. "I'm responsible for everything that happened regarding that mission. It was my job to see it through."

"It wasn't your job to taunt a psychopath into torturing you," Emily protested. Concern coiled in her gut as she looked at him. "Clyde-"

"And even if it wasn't, it was still better than letting it happen to you."

For a long moment, Emily could only stare at him. He met her gaze steadily, without a trace of hesitation, and Emily's head spun. She wasn't worth that. She opened her mouth, not knowing what she was going to say but knowing she had to say something, but before she could find any words JJ laid a hand on her shoulder.

"I think you both need to rest," she said gently.

Emily finally tore her eyes from Clyde's and managed a nod. Her stomach was starting to protest standing for so long, but she forced the discomfort aside long enough to bend down and press a quick kiss to his temple. He started, eyes widening, and Emily smiled.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Clyde stared at her, then shook his head. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. Emily straightened very carefully and shuffled after JJ. At the door she paused and glanced back. "I'll see you tomorrow."

The corner of Clyde's mouth twitched into a dry smile. "I'll be here."

Emily didn't want to leave. She still couldn't help feeling like something terrible would happen the moment she did. JJ was right, though, and she didn't argue when her friend moved the wheelchair closer. Emily eased herself down and slumped back.

"Thanks, JJ."

"Any time," JJ murmured.

Neither of them spoke again until they got back to Emily's room. JJ helped her back into bed, but paused before going to talk to the nurses. Her expression was difficult to read, and Emily eyed her.

"What?"

JJ hesitated, then shook her head. "It doesn't matter. More importantly, are you okay?"

Emily forced down the automatic reassurance. She had done too much lying to her friends lately. Besides, she couldn't ignore the emotions bubbling in her gut. "He shouldn't have done all that," she said finally. "I could have taken it. I hurt Doyle worse than anyone else. He should have let me…"

She trailed off, unable to work out what she wanted to say. JJ sighed.

"And that right there is exactly why he couldn't," she said. "He couldn't bear to see you hurt, Emily, and I know you hated every second of watching it too," she added, when Emily started to protest. "But if I know that then so did he. He wasn't going to let it happen."

Emily let her mouth fall shut. Clyde had always been the best of them at taking advantage of a situation; there was a reason he had been the team leader. She had just never expected he would use his skills like that.

She should have. She should have known better, just like she should have known that he would never betray her. The guilt she had spent the last week trying and failing to suppress surged up again, bringing bile to her throat. If she had just known better…

"Emily?"

It took all the energy Emily had left to meet JJ's eyes. Her friend eyed her warily. "Emily, it was his choice. You can't blame yourself for it."

Perhaps not, but no one ever said guilt was logical. Emily nodded, too numb to do anything else, and JJ sighed again. "You should get some sleep," she said. She leaned down to give Emily a quick hug. "I'll be back tomorrow. Hopefully the others will be too."

Emily forced a smile at that. She had missed them. JJ lingered a moment, her blue eyes still shadowed with concern, but Emily closed her eyes and heard the door close quietly behind her a few seconds later.

The moment she was gone, Emily's smile faded. She was healing well. She would be going home in a few days. She would be back to normal in a few weeks, while Clyde…

Sleep was a long time coming.

Emily didn't sleep well. Doyle's smile taunted her in her dreams; the smile he'd worn when he branded her, the smile he'd worn while he carved up Clyde's chest, the smile he'd worn when he'd looked at her and seen Lauren. She woke gasping for breath and biting back cries and didn't dare risk closing her eyes again.

This shouldn't be happening. Doyle was dead. He had no power over her any more.

But her chest bore his brand and Clyde could be disabled and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get him out of her head. If she had been smarter, faster, plain better at her job, then this would never have happened, he never would have come after them, and Clyde…

"Knock, knock."

Garcia's voice dragged her out of her spiral with a jolt. Emily looked up, heart pounding, to find Penelope in the doorway, Reid at her shoulder. It took her a moment to summon a smile.

"Hey. When did you get back?"

Their smiles had faded though, and with a sinking heart Emily realised she hadn't covered well enough. Penelope set her basket of goodies on the table and planted her hands on her hips. "Did you sleep at all?"

"Maybe a couple of hours," said Emily. "How was the case?"

Reid's eyes narrowed as he looked her up and down. "Closed. Are you having nightmares?"

She should have known she wouldn't get away with it. Emily sighed and let her head fall back against the pillows. "Some."

Penelope made a soft noise. "Oh, Emily. Is there anything we can do?"

"I've read a lot of studies on trauma recovery and PTSD," said Reid. He perched next to Penelope. "With everything that Doyle did to you, on top of your experiences with him before-"

"Yeah, we are not doing this now," Emily interrupted. At Reid's kicked puppy look, she relented a little, "I know I've got stuff to work through, but not now." She waved a vague hand at her stomach. "Let me deal with this first."

Penelope was chewing on her lip. "I thought you were doing well."

"I am," Emily hastened to reassure her. "The doctors are actually planning on releasing me soon." She gave a slightly sardonic smile."Of course they also said I shouldn't be at home alone, so now I need to work that out too."

"I think Rossi had some ideas about that," said Reid. "He's going to stop by this afternoon." He glanced at her monitors before looking back at her. "But Emily, the things you've been through-"

"Not now, Spencer," Emily repeated. "I will deal with it, I promise, but not now."

Reid didn't look convinced, but he stopped arguing. Emily took a breath and focused on Penelope. "But I do need a favour."

"Name it," said Penelope instantly. Her eyes sparkled behind her colourful glasses. "Ooh, do you want me to bring by some of your clothes? They're releasing you soon, right? Oh, and I'm sure I could sneak Serge in!" She turned a cheeky grin up at Reid. "I'm sure Doctor Reid can cause a nice distraction."

Emily had to laugh, at both the idea and the horror on Reid's face. It hurt her stomach, but it was so worth it. Penelope's grin widened in satisfaction, and Emily finally pulled herself together.

"Nothing like that," she said. "I just need my tablet."

Garcia's mirth vanished in an instant. "Emily Prentiss, if you even think about doing work while only a few days recovered from a shooting then so help me I will lock your internet access for a year!"

Emily resisted the urge to talk about pots and kettles and shook her head. "No work, I promise. I've got some research to do."

Her genius friends blinked in identical curiosity. Emily glanced past them, just in case, and lowered her voice. "It's for Clyde."

Penelope swallowed. Reid's eyes narrowed, and Emily had to look away. "His foot… It's not looking good. If they do need to…"

She couldn't say the words, and had to swallow before she could continue, "I want to help. I just don't know how."

Penelope had gone very pale. "Is it certain then? There's nothing they can do?"

"His chances aren't very good," said Reid quietly. "The severity of the injury, the environment, the delay in treatment…"

He trailed off abruptly, and Emily glanced up in time to see the startled look he gave Penelope. Penelope studiously ignored him; instead squeezing Emily's hand. Emily tore her mind from the memories of their captivity and shook her head.

"The surgeons should be seeing him this morning. They… I guess they'll decide then."

"Then there's still a chance," said Penelope firmly. "Don't give up yet."

Reid bit his lip. He seemed to be taking great interest in his shoelaces. Emily swallowed. She knew the truth, Reid did, and she would bet anything that Clyde did too. Penelope sighed and straightened.

"I'll bring your tablet by later."

"Thank you," said Emily. She took a steadying breath and looked at Reid. "If you have any ideas, Spence…"

"I've read a few relevant studies," he said immediately. "I'll bring them round." He hesitated, hazel eyes studying her. "Do you think he'll let you help?"

Emily swallowed. "I hope so."

She would have struggled to ask for help, was finding it hard even now, but Clyde was alone in a foreign country. She had to try.

That was a problem for later though. She shook herself, and forced a smile for her friends.

"Anyway, enough about us. How's Seaver getting on?"

Reid's eyes narrowed. He cocked his head to one side, but Penelope coughed and sat up. "She's okay. Back at the Academy for final exams, that's why she hasn't visited. She sends her apologies and best wishes."

Emily nodded. "She'll pass with flying colours. I wouldn't be surprised if she asked to stay with the BAU once she graduates."

Though with JJ already set to return, she might find her request denied. Emily wasn't too worried. Seaver was smart and capable; she would succeed wherever she ended up. Reid gave a small smile.

"She promised to keep in touch either way," he said. He looked away, but not before they saw the blush touch his cheeks. Emily caught Penelope's eye and they hid their grins in unison. Penelope coughed.

"I'm sure she'll be glad to hear from you."

Reid's smile softened, but his reply was interrupted by a knock at the door. A nurse entered a moment later, and nodded to Emily. "My apologies, Agent Prentiss, but there's a been a call from Ward 305."

Emily's stomach lurched. She had thrown off the covers before Penelope could find her voice, "What's going on?"

"That's where Clyde is," said Emily shortly. She ignored the tug of her stitches, and nodded her thanks to Reid as he pushed the wheelchair over. "Is he all right?"

The nurse shook her head. "They just asked for you to visit when convenient."

That was more than enough. If Clyde was actually asking for help for once then she wasn't going to wait for him to change his mind. Penelope frowned as she helped Emily into the wheelchair, but she took the handles without trying to argue. Reid held the door open for them.

"What do you think's happened?"

Emily glanced at the clock. "I have an idea," she said quietly.

Reid followed her gaze. His eyes closed for a moment. "The doctors will have finished their rounds."

Emily took a shaky breath. They had all been expecting bad news. That didn't make actually receiving it any easier. She said nothing though. There was still a chance that he would be okay.

The blinds of Clyde's room were closed, and the look on the nurse's face confirmed her fears. Emily glanced at Reid and Penelope.

"I might be a while."

"We'll go and get a coffee," said Penelope. "Call us if you need anything."

"Good luck," said Reid quietly.

Emily managed a small smile. She was going to need it. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. "Clyde? It's me."

There was a long pause, then came a quiet, "Come in."

Emily flinched at the complete lack of emotion in his voice. She took a moment to control herself, then eased herself to her feet and opened the door.

Clyde somehow looked even worse than he had the previous day. The shadows under his eyes were darker than ever, and his hair stuck up in every direction, as if he'd repeatedly run his hands through it. There was no colour at all in his face, making the technicolour bruises stand out even more vividly, but it was his eyes that set Emily's heart pounding.

It was said that the eyes were windows to the soul. Even in the midst of their most disturbing, traumatising cases, Clyde's spirit had shone through. Whether overworked, exhausted, or injured, Clyde had never given up. His had been the fire that kept them all going during even the worst of cases.

Now, there was nothing behind those blue eyes. There wasn't so much as a flicker as he looked at Emily. He said nothing, but he didn't need to. Emily swallowed, and crossed the room to perch on the bed.

"I'm so sorry."

Clyde stared blankly up at the ceiling. "It was to be expected. The circumstances were hardly ideal."

His hands were trembling on the sheets. Emily hesitated, then reached forward to take his hands in hers. They were cool to the touch, and Clyde tensed at the contact but didn't draw away. Emily bit her lip. None of her training had covered how to deal with this.

"I…What did they say?"

Clyde sighed. "The usual. Antibiotics haven't worked. The damage is too extensive to debride. If they don't act soon, the infection will spread and I'll end up losing more of the leg."

Emily swallowed. Clyde continued without looking at her, "I'll be going to theatre as soon as there's one free."

"That soon?" Emily whispered.

Clyde closed his eyes. "Best get it over with."

Emily opened her mouth, then closed it again. Clyde was doing a good job of maintaining his composure, but Emily had seen him in the harshest of situations and knew what he looked like when he was on the brink of falling apart. Fine tremors wracked his body and he was still staring at the ceiling, and something inside Emily broke.

This was all her fault. She was the one who should be paying for it, but even as guilt threatened to rise Clyde's breathing hitched and Emily gave herself a fierce mental shake. This was no time to be indulging her own guilt. Clyde needed her. She didn't know how to help, but she had to do something.

"How can I help?"

Clyde blinked, and for the first time since her arrival his eyes focused on her. He hesitated a moment, then shook his head. "It has to be done, Emily."

"I know that," said Emily quietly. "What can I do to help?"

Clyde continued to stare at her, his blue eyes blank, and Emily found her vision blurring. She leaned forward to grip Clyde's shoulder, and when he didn't react she pulled him into a hug. He stiffened at the contact, but just as Emily was about to give up and apologise and try something else something seemed to break. His arms came around her, breath catching in a strangled sob, and Emily let her own tears fall as she held him.

"I'm here, Clyde," she whispered. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

How long she held him, she didn't know. Her gown was soaked with tears by the time he drew away, but when he did his eyes were clear. "Thank you, Emily."

Emily rubbed a hand over her face, and attempted a smile. "I said any time. I meant it."

Clyde nodded. He drew in a shaky breath, and wiped the last of the tears from his eyes. When he looked back at her, there was something of his usual resolve back in his face. "I'll be all right, Em," he said softly. "I…It will be hard. A lot is going to change, but I'm alive. It could be a lot worse."

Emily stared at him. That was not the reaction she had been expecting. Clyde caught her eye, and his mouth twisted into a humourless smile. "I'm not all right right now," he admitted. "But losing a leg isn't the end of the world. I'll survive."

It wasn't that simple. They both knew that. There was no telling what the full extent of the physical and mental effects would be, but it would mean massive adjustments to every aspect of Clyde's daily life. It would mean weeks and months of physical therapy, changes to his living situation, and certainly wouldn't do his mental health any good.

It would be the end of his career as an active field agent.

"Emily."

Emily looked up. Clyde was watching her, his eyes tired but steady. "There is something you can do for me."

"Anything," said Emily immediately.

Clyde took her hand. "Stop blaming yourself."

Emily's mouth went bone dry. Clyde squeezed her hand gently. "It was my choice to get involved. I knew the risks. Doyle did the rest. None of this was your fault."

"But if I-"

"Please, Emily. Don't do this."

Emily swallowed down the argument she wanted to make. Clyde looked better, but she could still read the tension in every line of his body. The last thing he needed was to be worrying about her on top of everything else.

So she nodded. She summoned a smile, and squeezed his hand back.

"Okay, but you focus on getting better. Don't worry about me."

Clyde's eyes narrowed, but after a moment he inclined his head. His eyes flickered in the direction of his bandaged foot and he shivered. His jaw worked for a moment, and Emily leaned forward.

"Want me to stay until they take you for your surgery?"

Clyde was tough to read, but his relief at her words was obvious. Emily didn't make him say it. "C'mon, I told you. I'm not going anywhere."

Clyde's smile was small, but real, and Emily's resolve hardened. She could indulge her guilt later. Right now, Clyde needed her. She would not let him down.

Thanks for reading! Any feedback would be appreciated.