'No, no, no, you worked so hard to block it all out, you can't let him do this to you now!' she desperately thought, squeezing her eyes shut as if it would block out his taunting voice.
"Did we hurt your feelings?" he asked in a mocking tone. Valerie tried to keep her breathing steady and tune him out. She couldn't - no, she wouldn't - let him do this to her. She began to walk away. The classroom was emptying fast and she did not want to be left alone with him.
"Hey!" he shouted from behind her. She debated with herself for a moment before gritting her teeth and swivelling around to face him, channelling her frustration into a bitter scowl. He was standing closer than she expected.
"What do you want?"
"Weren't you taught any manners? It's rude to walk away when somebody's talking to you."
She scoffed. "Don't even get me started on manners."
"Because I'm so lacking?"
"That's a start."
He took a step closer. His eyes were burning into hers. It was clear what was happening - he wanted a rise out of her, and all she wanted to do was abandon his intense eye contact and leave. Despite this and the fact that the classroom was now completely empty, meaning they were alone - which was the worst possible outcome of any situation - she stood her ground. She couldn't walk away from him now. This was a competition.
"Go on, then. Tell me just how horrible I am." he drawled.
"Why? Don't you hear it enough?"
"I hear it plenty."
"Then you don't need to hear it from me."
"Too scared to break your cool, are you?"
"I'm not scared of you, prick."
He took another step closer with a smirk on his mouth. There was now very little space between them.
"I don't believe you."
"And why's that? Because you're so big and scary and intimidating?"
He smirked as if he was silently laughing at a private joke. "Maybe."
Valerie took a deep breath. 'This is just what he does.', she reminded herself. And if there was anybody she didn't want to give any sort of satisfaction to, it was Draco Malfoy. The way for her to win the competition right now would be for her to leave.
"That approach might work on second years, but it definitely doesn't work on me. I know what you're doing." Valerie said far calmer than she felt.
"Oh, do you? What am I doing, then?"
"You just want me to react to you, so you have something to wank off to later, because for some awful, deep-rooted reason bullying people smaller than you brings you some sick, twisted joy." Valerie spat boldly.
A hint of mirth flashed behind his eyes. "I'm sure you love the idea of me wanking off to you, Hinge, but don't flatter yourself. As if I'd ever wank off to a grotesque, little know-it-all Ravenclaw such as yourself."
"Do you feel good about yourself, dickhead? Do you just go around telling people they're ugly and not good enough for you?"
"Oh, Hinge... don't tell me you want me to wank off to you, do you?"
Valerie pursed her lips, feeling trapped and disgusted at the turn their argument had taken. She stared into his grey eyes for a second, willing herself not to strike him across the face as the hot agitation coursed through her, making her fingers twitch with the temptation to. He stared right back, daring her to do it.
'No. Enough is enough.'
"I have a class to get to." she muttered, abruptly turning to leave the classroom.
"Too much of a pussy, clearly." she heard Malfoy taunt behind her. She ignored him.
"Maybe I got to work a little harder to get you more pissed off, Hinge." he continued. Valerie was halfway up the stairs, almost free from his infuriatingly relentless jeers.
"Or maybe I'll just go piss off Loony no-one-could-ever-Love-her-good, instead."
Valerie froze. She could see the hallway peeking through the ajar door, begging her to keep walking.
"Tell me, Hinge, why do you keep such bad company?" he continued. She could practically hear the smug smirk on his lips. Valerie clenched her fists, silently screaming at herself to walk out the door and leave, but her legs refused to cooperate.
"I know you're smarter than that. I honestly don't understand how anybody could stand to be around the blood traitor."
Something snapped inside of Valerie, and she suddenly found herself grasping her wand tightly and pivoting on the spot to once again face the Potions classroom. She didn't hear herself casting the hex or even register which hex she was casting at the boy, but she felt the magic buzzing at her fingertips as the Slytherin was thrown backwards into a desk by an invisible force. She stood there for a moment, rooted to the spot, as she watched Malfoy regain his footing - he clearly hadn't expected the hex, the shock and pain from the blast written all over his features. As he looked up at the Ravenclaw, Valerie realised now that as well as shock and pain, 'incredibly pissed' was also plastered on his face. Before he had the chance to shoot a hex back at her, she raced out of the classroom with her heart pounding in her ears.
She had never, ever, lost control like that and was taken aback by her actions. She had hexed Draco Malfoy. She had hexed another student. If he chose to report it, which Valerie's guess would be that the petty git would, she would be in a hell of a lot of trouble. Valerie chastised herself, frustrated that she had let her anger overtake her like that, and then the last words he had spoken echoed in her ears.
Blood traitor.
She'd heard him say it before; hell, she'd heard plenty of other students say it before. The prejudices that he and many of his friends held against different blood statuses was so mind-numbingly ignorant that it fuelled that rage inside of her so intensely and quickly it frightened her. The image of her Draught of Living Death immediately burning up the leaf flashed across her mind.
Yes, she'd heard him utter the offensive term before, but it was the first time he had come after Luna like that. Valerie felt her blood begin to boil again at the prospect of someone attacking her sweet friend at all, but using blood status to do it only doubled the fury it brought on. With a hard swallow, Valerie forced herself to move on to her next class and pushed that fury to the corner of her mind where she hoped it would settle and fizzle out in time for Ancient Runes.
Suddenly, she was grateful that she had scrambled out of the Potions classroom when she had for fear that she would have landed herself in even more trouble than she already was in.
"Do you have any idea what the lessons could be for?"
"I don't know any more than you do."
"He wouldn't tell me anymore about it, but Hermione thinks he'll be teaching us some advanced defensive stuff. What do you think? Do you think it's going to be really hard?"
"I truly, truly don't know. All his letter to me said was that he wanted to begin private lessons. That's all I know."
It was clear that Harry was anxious to know the content of the lessons of which Dumbledore had enlisted bother Valerie and himself to begin. Valerie was trying to reassure him, but she knew she wasn't doing a very good job.
Harry exhaled slowly and carefully. "Has he said anything else to you this year?"
"No, this is the first I've heard from him since we arrived last week."
"I haven't heard anything else from him since summer."
"Since summer? What do you mean?"
"Well, he sort of took me from the Dursleys to get my help to recruit Slughorn as a teacher here. Slughorn apparently 'collects students', in a way."
"'Collects students'?"
As they climbed the flight of stairs leading to the Headmaster's Tower, Harry summarised Slughorn's previous teaching at Hogwarts and his 'Slug Club'. Valerie grimaced at the idea of a professor taking some sort of merit for 'his' students' success. She decided she would steer clear of the new potions master.
Harry tugged at the cuff of his robe and wrung his hands together worriedly. Valerie wished she could tell him that it was all going to be fine, but she knew she couldn't. This was the earliest that the headmaster had summoned either of them in their previous 5 years at Hogwarts. The notion of them Dumbledore requiring them so early, especially to give them lessons of some sort, was unsettling to say the least given the context of the Wizarding World's fragile state. Valerie would have been lying if she were to say she wasn't slightly panicked at the headmaster's invitation, but there would have been no way she was about to reveal it so flippantly as Harry was.
Harry said the password to the gargoyle - 'Acid Pops' - which opened the stairs to Dumbledore's office. It only being wide enough for one person at a time, Valerie trailed after Harry. They opened the office doors together and approached the headmaster who was sitting at his exceptionally large desk, his mind clearly preoccupied as he stared out the tall window.
It killed Valerie that she could never get a solid read of the man. She wished she could know what thoughts whirred between his ears; what made him tick. Of all the people she'd ever encountered, he was undoubtedly the most perplexing.
"Valerie Hinge, Harry Potter... how lovely to see you two again. I've already convened with Harry about his summer, but what about you, Miss Hinge? How was your summer?" he asked, still staring out the window.
"Oh, you know," Valerie said awkwardly. She didn't like being singled out. "Same as usual."
Dumbledore turned around in his chair, a small grin hiding in his long beard.
"Nothing worthy of any note happened to you all summer?"
Valerie shook her head with an uncomfortable laugh.
"I guess not."
Dumbledore chuckled and stood up from behind his desk.
"Sounds fun. I take it your classes have been going well, you two?" he added as he walked over to the left of his office, where tall, glass cases of mystifying magical objects were held. Harry and Valerie followed.
"Yes, sir. Slughorn is making potions actually somewhat bearable." said Harry with a smile.
"Mr Potter, I certainly hope you're not implying that any of my teachers have ever made your classes 'unbearable'." said Dumbledore. Valerie knowingly eyed the Gryffindor.
"Oh, not at all, sir. I wouldn't dream of it." said Harry. Valerie laughed quietly.
"Good. Come here, you two." said Dumbledore.
They both approached either side of the headmaster and followed his gaze to the pensieve. Looking at it too closely for too long made Valerie's eyes hurt, so she looked up at her professor instead, wondering what he was about to ask of them. His face was as placid as ever, but his tone was grave.
"I know you're both familiar with this, but this year we're going to be exploring more. More memories, so the both of you can prepare. Understand."
Dumbledore looked away from the pensieve and stood back to look at the two students in front of him. Valerie quickly glanced over at Harry to gauge how to react to the professor. She saw the confusion, but also the strong determination in the boy's gaze as he heeded Dumbledore's every word carefully. Valerie looked back at the headmaster, trying her best to replicate this look. Dumbledore looked deep into her eyes. Sometimes, she swore he looked at her so astutely that he could read her thoughts. The idea made her uneasy.
"You both need to be extremely observant of your surroundings when in these memories. You need to remove yourself from the equation and focus, because the memories I show to you will be of upmost importance to both of your safeties."
"What exactly are we supposed to be focusing on? I mean, whose memories are we going to be looking through?" Harry piped up.
"Why, I thought that would have been obvious." said the headmaster. He looked over at Valerie. "You know, don't you, Valerie?"
Valerie thought she knew, though she hated that Dumbledore knew she knew. The idea of him being a mind-reader continued to gain more traction as a possibility.
"You-Know-" she caught herself. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "V-Voldemort's memories, sir. Right?"
The headmaster shook his head with a smile. "Almost, but not quite. I only wish we could gain access to his memories, Valerie. The people who came into direct contact with him when he was just 'Tom Riddle', however, will have to suffice."
Valerie was shocked but not deterred by the notion of exploring the Dark Lord's past. The idea of learning about him and what made him that way was extremely intriguing to her. What made the most evil wizard, possibly the most evil being in the world, so evil to begin with? What horrible events could he have possibly endured to make such a hateful being? Any person with an ounce of common sense would know that it couldn't possibly be solely 'bad genes' that made You-Know-Who as cruel as he was. Valerie was extremely interested to find out what was.
"We will need to schedule regular meetings - lessons, if you will - throughout the year to ensure that you're both as informed and ready as possible. How do you feel about that?"
"As long as it doesn't clash with Quidditch, that's fine with me, sir." said Harry. He looked intimidated by the idea of exploring the Dark Lord's history, but Valerie knew him well enough to know that there wasn't a chance he would let down Dumbledore.
Dumbledore nodded at Harry, satisfied with his response, and cast his gaze over to the Ravenclaw. She was smiling.
"When do we start?"
The headmaster chuckled. "You appear eager, Miss Hinge."
"I just think it'd be interesting to find out why Voldemort is as terrible as he is." she replied candidly. "What? You can't tell me you're not the slightest bit intrigued!" Valerie protested defensively at Harry's weary look. He gave a light laugh and jokingly nudged her with his arm.
"To answer your question, we start as soon as possible. But first," Dumbledore said, walking back over to his desk to retrieve a piece of parchment. "I need you two to ask Professor Sprout for these."
He handed the parchment to Harry and Valerie looked over his shoulder at it. On it was a short list of peculiar plant names Valerie had never seen before scrawled in black ink.
"How many do we need?" Harry asked.
"As many as she has." Dumbledore replied.
"If you don't mind me asking, sir, what are these for?" Valerie couldn't help but inquire.
"The pensieve is only so powerful, and because it is going to have three individuals using it at one time, it's going to need a little rejuvenation."
"Better to arrange it now than later." Valerie finished his thought with a nod. Dumbledore smiled, looking into her eyes in that mind-reader way that made her nervous.
"Exactly. Now, off you two go. Once you have them, take them to Professor Snape. He'll know what to do with them." he dismissed. The two students said their goodbyes to their headmaster and left the office together. They began their long descent of the castles' many staircases in order to head towards Professor Sprout's greenhouses outside. The castle was so huge and convoluted that it would take them quite a while. On their journey, they made small-talk.
"I do not want to see Snape right now." grumbled Harry. Valerie shook her head.
"Does not sound like an ideal afternoon. Merlin, why is this castle so huge?"
"Tell me about it. The Gryffindor common room is so far away from the Great Hall, we usually have to get up early to get to breakfast on time."
"You're joking, right? Do you even know how far I have to travel to get to Potions class?"
"Oh, yeah, you're up in Ravenclaw tower. That must suck for you, wow." Harry laughed.
"You have no idea. And don't even get me started on getting back up there after a long day of classes."
"I bet you get quite the workout, huh?"
Valerie knocked on her stomach like she was knocking on a door. "Rock hard abs."
The pair laughed together.
"Sometimes I wish I was in Slytherin just so I don't have to walk so far after dinner." mused Valerie.
"I think the same thing sometimes. And then I remember bloody Malfoy's in Slytherin, and suddenly the walk back doesn't seem so far."
"Merlin, what a prick."
"You have no idea."
"Oh, I think I do." The memory of Valerie's last encounter with the Slytherin resurfaced and she quickly shoved it back down. He seemingly hadn't reported the incident yet, given she hadn't been punished for hexing another student, but the probability of him simply letting it go seemed slim to none. She had gone out of her way to avoid him ever since, hoping that if she were out of his way and his sight he would be less encouraged to report it.
"What about Hufflepuff, then?" she asked, needing changing the subject.
"I wouldn't mind Hufflepuff. Right by the kitchens. You'd never be hungry ever again."
"Only downside is Hufflepuffs are annoying as hell."
"Really?"
"They drive me up the wall like you wouldn't believe."
Harry laughed. "Maybe you should be in Slytherin. Hufflepuffs aren't so bad."
Valerie gave him a joking glare. "I would happily chop of my right leg before being put in the same house as Malfoy, thank you very much. Please never propose the idea again or I will throw up on you." she threatened. Harry held up his hands defensively.
"My bad, ma'am. I'll never do it again."
They laughed together again. Whilst they weren't the closest, Valerie didn't mind Harry's company. Before they became the slightly-more-than-acquaintances-but-still-not-friends that they were, Valerie had actually hated him for a while. She had presumed, like many other students at Hogwarts, that he strived for all the attention he got and gladly bathed in the glory of being 'The Chosen One'. It wasn't until after she got to know him better that she realised he wasn't like that at all. It definitely earned her respect.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, they made it to Professor Sprout's office.
"What can I do for you two?" the short lady asked with a wide smile. Valerie tried to return it, but she wasn't a huge fan of Sprout.
Harry handed her the list. "Dumbledore was after some things and asked us to get them for him." he said. Sprout carefully scanned the list, clearly surprised at a couple of the items with the expressions that came over face, and then nodded.
"I can have them ready in a half hour. Feel free to wait around, if you like." Sprout gestured to the few chairs scattered around the greenhouse.
"We'll wait close by. Thank you, though," said Valerie, declining the offer before Harry had the chance to accept it. There was no way she was staying inside the muggy greenhouse for a half hour and also no way she was taking the long trek back inside the castle and to her common room. She assumed Harry wouldn't want to, either, judging from their previous conversation.
So instead, the pair found a tree to sit under outside. There was an awkward silence. Valerie desperately tried to rack her brain of something to talk about to escape it, but Harry beat her to it.
"You don't like Dumbledore very much, do you?" he blurted. Valerie was surprised at the question and took a second to think of a suitable response.
"I mean, he's alright." she said wearily. She didn't want to lie, but she also definitely didn't want to divulge into the uneasy topic. Truthfully, she didn't exactly know how she felt about the old man. She didn't understand him.
Harry gave her a pointed look. "That's it? 'He's alright?'"
"Well, he is." she defended.
"I see the way that you look at him. It's like you're trying to figure out what he's thinking and find out what horrible agenda he has. I can tell you don't like him."
"Well, if you knew all that, why did you ask?"
"I was just an observation. I didn't know if it was true or not so I asked. Now I know you don't like him."
"That's not true." Valerie was getting a little upset. She felt violated in Harry's astute observations of her actions.
"Then what is it?" he pressed.
"Why do you want to know?" she snapped. He backed off.
"I was just making conversation. Sorry."
Valerie sighed. She didn't want to ruin the fickle friendship her and Harry had struggled to develop over the last six years.
"Sorry. He just... confuses me." she said, trying to figure out for herself how she felt about the strange, old wizard.
"What do you mean?" he asked. She looked up at him, at his glasses, at the scar poking through his shaggy black hair. She pieced together an idea.
"Well, you know why he's interested in you; why he's so keen to help you learn about Voldemort and stuff, right?"
Harry looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, I guess so."
"You're 'The Boy Who Lived'; 'The Chosen One.'" she said. He looked back at her, getting more uncomfortable. She knew those terms only had negative connotations to him.
"What's your point?" he asked.
"Well," she continued, struggling to find the right words. "It's clear that's why he's so... attached, I guess, to you. But with me... I have no clue. I mean, I'm just a regular witch, you know? You-Know-Who has never expressed any particular interest in me, so I just don't get why Dumbledore... cares so much. I feel like he has some weird hidden plan, but I can't even begin to wonder what it could be." she explained. "Does that make sense?"
Harry nodded. "Yeah. It does. But I guess with Dumbledore, you just got to have faith that he knows what he's doing. He's one of the only wizards on Earth who somewhat understands Voldemort. So we just got to trust his judgement." Harry said. Valerie nodded.
It was a nice gesture from Harry, to comfort her, but it definitely didn't answer the giant question that had been burning inside of her for years - 'Why did Dumbledore choose me?'