Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"I'm sorry!" Isamichi Konjo cried, going down in dogeza. "I was behind it all! I wanted Iroha-san to lose so badly that I did terrible things."

Rentaro Kagura frowned. "Will Iroha winning really cause you that much trouble?"

Isamichi glanced up. "I'd be finished!" He exclaimed. "Because… Our company… Forbids interoffice relationships!"

Rentaro stared at him blankly.

"If she wins, she would be hired into our company," Isamichi explained. "Actually… To be honest…"

A look of absolute lust crossed his face. "I want to hire to be my secretary right now."

He got a dreamy look on his face as a no doubt sick and twisted fantasy played out behind his eyes.

Rentaro's eye twitched. "So… You're telling me that you're sabotaging my sister and keeping her from getting a high-paying job which we desperately need to get out of poverty and afford food and basic living expenses… Because your rich, entitled ass wants to date her."

Isamichi paused. "Well… When you put it like that… I guess it does sound kind of bad…"

A blank look on his face, Rentaro drew his ninjato. "I'm going to kill you now."

Isamichi squealed and ran for his life.

…

How Rider Time: Kamen Rider Shinobi Should Have Ended

…

"I'll eliminate Shinobi…" Yaminin growled from where he lay on the ground, defeated. "When she gives into despair… That'll be my chance to get close to her. If I do that… That woman will surely open her heart to me!"

As he clutched his cheeks and blushed like a schoolgirl, Kamen Rider Shinobi and Hattari stared at him incredulously.

"Don't tell me!" Hattari cried, taking a few steps forward.

"Hm?"

"You're also after Iroha-san?!" Hattari accused.

"Also-" Shinobi stammered. "Oh for the love of… is EVERYONE interested in my sis – I mean, that promising young kunoichi?!"

Back at the Kagura household, Master Gamano sneezed.

"Don't pretend you aren't into her as well!" Hattari snarled.

Yaminin nodded. "Yes, everyone knows YOU'RE the one she wants!"

Shinobi recoiled, horrified. "I'm not into – that's disgusting – I would never-"

"That's right!" A gorgeous, busty, dark-skinned nogitsune with very long red hair declared, wrapping the startled ninja in a very tight hug from behind. "He would never touch her… Because he's all mine!"

"Yako, you aren't canon!" Shinobi protested.

"Neither is this story," she pointed out.

FFWD

Master Gamano frowned as he emerged from his scroll. "He performed an advanced light-producing ninjutsu so easily… To exhaust him might require selection of qualified rivals."

He gestured at the image of the gourd in his wall scroll, causing it to glow and start emitting purple smoke…

When abruptly, the door to the room slid open and Iroha poked her head in to see where the sound was coming from, clutching her ninjato. Her eyes widened in horror when she saw the stranger in her house. "What… Who are you?!"

Gamano's eyes widened and darted about in alarm. "Uh…"

"Rentaro! Isamichi! There's some weird guy in our house!" She yelled, not taking her eyes off the alarmed master.

"A weird guy?! Iroha, stay right there!"

"IROHA-SAN, I'LL SAVE YOU!"

Gamano grimaced, realizing he had a lot of explaining to do. "Probably shouldn't have come out of my scroll to monologue without making sure there was nobody within earshot…"

BUT THIS IS HOW IT REALLY SHOULD HAVE ENDED…

Rentaro entered the living room of his house, where the cast of his miniseries were lounging about doing nothing. "Hey guys, great news! Toei's decided to give us a full series!"

Everyone cheered so loudly it brought the roof down.

(Literally. They really needed the money from that job.)

…

Shinji Kido frowned at the mysterious Sara, who had just finished explaining the truth behind the new Rider War. "So… Let me get this straight. Your boyfriend is murdering people in the real world to try and keep you from dying…"

Sara nodded. "Right."

"And to prevent him from doing that, you brought 13 people into the Mirror World – including a serial killer – and tasked them to murder each other to find someone strong enough to stop your boyfriend."

Sara hesitated. "Well… Um… When you put it like that…"

Shinji shook his head in disgust. A furious Ren Akiyama glared at her and coldly said, "The two of you are perfect for each other."

…

How Rider Time: Kamen Rider Ryuki Should Have Ended

…

"Henshin," the mysterious man said, his body surrounded by a golden aura as he transformed into Kamen Rider Odin right before the eyes of Sougo in his Decade Armor Ryuki Form and Geiz in his base form.

Sougo gasped. "Geiz! It's the mastermind behind all this… Some guy we've never met before!"

"Yeah, who are you?" Asked the confused Geiz.

"That's Shiro Kanzaki!"

Shinji Kido raced back over. "In 2002, he tricked 13 people into becoming Kamen Riders and pitted them against each other, promising a wish to the last Rider standing, all along planning to use that wish himself to bring back his dead sister!"

Sougo gasped. "Of course! And since Tatsuya had a similar wish, he must've manipulated him into becoming Another Ryuki to kill all those people and make another attempt to revive his sister!"

"Wait, should you even remember all that-" a confused Geiz asked Shinji.

Kanzaki laughed malevolently, glancing briefly back at the horrified Tatsuya, who was only now beginning to realize the full extent of his actions. "Correct! I used this fool, and once I get rid of you and make sure that anomaly Shinji Kido never interferes with my plans again, I shall at long last be reunited with Yui!"

"But… I thought you already were," the confused Shinji pointed out.

Kanzaki blinked. "Eh?"

"You gave up, remember?" Shinji reminded him. "I kept getting involved in the Rider War and causing the game to drag out past your deadline to resurrect Yui, so eventually you just quit, reset the timeline so none of it ever happened, and retired to the mirror world to be with her forever."

"No, really, did you even learn any of that back in your original show-" Geiz protested.

Kanzaki nodded. "All of that is correct! But, you see…"

He trailed off. "You see…"

"Yes?" Shinji prompted.

"That… is what happened," Kanzaki confessed, bewildered. "So… Why am I doing this again?!"

Nobody had an answer.

BUT THIS IS HOW IT REALLY SHOULD HAVE ENDED…

"SARAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Another Ryuki howled as he ran around the city, wildly attacking people.

Sougo and Geiz arrived at the scene. "It's an Another Rider!" Sougo cried. He frowned, puzzled. "Or is it a Another Rider? Or just Another Rider? I'm really not sure what the right grammar is for this."

"Looks like it's Another Ryuki," Geiz noted, seeing the name written on the monster's body. "We don't have the watch for that one."

"Good thing we don't need it," Sougo reminded him, taking out his Zi-O II watch.

"Nope," Geiz agreed, priming the GeizRevive watch.

Zi-O II!

GEIZREVIVE GORETSU!

"HENSHIN!"

RIDER TIME! KAMEN RIDER~! (RIDER~!) ZI-O! (ZI-O!) ZI-O~! II!

RIDER TIME! KAMEN RIDER GEIZ! RE-VI-I-VE GORETSU~! GORETSU!

The two Riders ran over to Another Ryuki and proceeded to start wiping the floor with him.

"Wait! You can't!" He protested, flailing ineffectually at them with his sword. "You don't understand, I'm only killing people to save the woman I love!"

"Cool motive. Still murder," Geiz said bluntly, striking the Another Rider in the chest with his buzz saw.

The hooded man heavily implied to be Shiro Kanzaki, watching from behind a corner, sweatdropped as his chosen patsy was getting ripped apart. "Maybe I should've thought this through more."

Sara, watching from a reflection in a nearby window, blinked. "Huh, those two seem to have everything under control. I guess I don't need to drag 13 innocent people into the Mirror World and have them battle to the death after all."

"Aww, man," complained Dark Shinji, who was standing right next to her. "I was really looking forward to getting another chance to shine!"

"You already got one! You were Another Ryuga!" Complained Miho Kirishima. "While I, on the other hand, haven't had anything since a brief cameo in the 40th anniversary movie! As the first female Rider ever, don't I deserve more?!"

Yuriko Misaki glared at her. "At least you officially got to be a Rider."

"WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE?!" Dark Shinji shouted.