Connected

Thank-you to everyone that has read my work so far. This is the last chapter for context. I hope you all enjoy.

''I didn't say anything.'' The doctor looked at Clara with a confused expression. He was aware of the hard grip she had on his upper arms, holding him at arm's length as she looked him straight in the eye.

''Oh, right.'' Finally, Clara blinked and released her grip on him. She couldn't give away that she had remembered her confessions to him. Not yet. It would change everything.

The silence and awkward air between them left her feeling cold. She had pushed him away the first time he had willingly returned a hug. Not her finest moment.

''I should go to the library and take a look at this book.'' The doctor was already halfway towards the stairs before Clara had a chance to protest. She opted to follow him down into the Tardis to prevent the machine from playing anymore tricks on her.

Within a few minutes, they were both stood in the doorway to the library. Clara immediately saw the blue book on its stand. ''That one'' She pointed to the book.

He walked over to it, picking the book up and looking at the front and back, before resting it back on the stand and opening it. The book was indeed blank. But there was no projection box or hologram on any page. ''Are you sure this is the book you saw?'' He didn't look at her, but continued searching each page.

''Yes, I am certain doctor.'' Clara replied adamantly. ''Why do you have a blank book on a stand anyway?''

''It wasn't blank.'' He spoke quietly. Still thinking. ''It was a diary once. I keep it here to check back in on myself from time to time. So, where have all the words gone?''

''I have never seen you write in a diary'' Clara questioned, jokingly. She knew she was not with him enough to know what he did in his free time, or in the evenings whilst he was alone. The thought both uneased and excited her.

He didn't respond to her comment. Instead, he turned each page over, running his fingers down every other page. Trying to feel the words that were once written there. Nothing. ''Something is seriously wrong here. The Tardis can't remove words from books, she can't project images from the past. This is not right.''

''Well, that doesn't make sense.'' Clara argued ''When you regenerated, you said you saw someone. No, you acted as though you saw someone. Plus, you spoke to Missy in the console room, unless that was made up too.''

''No, I did speak to her. But that was just an upgraded version of communication for you. Plus, it was in the present moment, so the Tardis could allow it. She can't do things that relate to the past and future within the dimension. Only on the outside. Amy, was just a memory, strengthened as I passed through my time and adventures with my old face. That was nothing to do with the Tardis.''

Clara watched him. He was clearly troubled by his now empty book. She had always considered his memory to be quite good. He never had any noticeable issue with it. Why would the Doctor need a diary? ''Doctor… have you forgotten things, from over your years?''

He looked over to her and twitched his lips into a small smile ''I am over 2000 years old Clara. I can have difficulties.'' He paused, looking at the book again. ''Nothing is forgotten. Not completely. And, if something can be remembered. It can, come back.''

Clara suddenly felt slightly out of her depth.

XXX

She looked at herself in the mirror. The black dress sparkled in the light as it clung to her waistline and hugged her curves before falling loosely around her legs. Her heels kept the fabric from touching the floor. Her carefully chosen necklace to compliment the low cut dress was the brightest silver, with a small but deep blue stone hanging in the center of it. The Tardis had good choice when it came to formal wear. And somehow knew her exact size.

Her hair was done up into a neat bun, surrounded by perfect curls. A single flower sat in the bun, pinned up with a diamond crusted hair pin. Clara finished the look off by spraying some divine smelling perfume around her neck and wrists, and reaching for a matching shawl for her arms.

Her reflection stared back at her. Even through the makeup, she looked different. Clara recalled the earlier events of the day. The Doctor had tried on several attempts to drop her off. But the Tardis refused to leave, to the point that it even stopped trying. So, Clara grabbed some things and concluded that until they could figure out what this was, she was stuck with him for a while. He had been agitated, and Clara could tell he was not enjoying the invasion of personal space, despite her infinite lack of control over it. She had opted to avoid him for the evening. To give him some space.

''Seeing as we are stuck together, is there anything you would like to do?'' He had asked.

''Take me out, for dinner.'' She had replied.

''Where?''

''The best restaurant in the galaxy'' She had joked. But within half an hour, the Doctor had given her a time frame to be ready for, and had requested that she dressed formally.

Her life seemed to be changing so much. But she felt okay with that. She nodded at her reflection, feeling nervous for some reason, before making her way towards the console room.

Her heels clicked as she walked up each stair, before reaching the top. The doctor stood, with his back to her.

''You scrub up well'' She half joked until he turned around. He really had scrubbed up well. He was wearing a black suit, with a waist coat and a formal bowtie. It reminded her of his previous face. Clara now much preferred this one.

''You look incredible.'' He responded, his eyes running up and down the length of her body.

Clara laughed. ''You have no idea how good I look. But, thank-you, for saying.''

''Clara..'' The doctor started, ''I know very well how good you look.''

''Why are you sad?''

He looked at her… ''Why do you think I am sad?''

She walked over to him, invading his personal space, but she had a feeling that he wanted it this time. ''Your eyes.'' She stated, before hugging him. He didn't move this time, he didn't hug her back, much to Clara's sadness. She clung to him tighter, pressing her whole body into his. ''Doctor..'' She whispered. ''Whatever is making you sad, just know, it won't last forever''

He hugged her back then, burying his face into the bare skin of her shoulder. Only for a moment, before pulling himself from her. It was enough for her to know that he understood.

XXX

They walked out of the tardis into the very grand hallway of the restaurant.

''Where are we?'' Clara asked, noticing that the view from the windows overlooked a huge waterfall.

''A planet called Vendan. It is known as the planet of purity. I have never visited. But according to the Tardis, this is the best restaurant in the galaxy.''

The place did look beautiful, and very…English much to Clara's surprise. The paintings on the wall and the elegant chandeliers and marble staircases made the rooms look huge. Clara noticed that every window had a different view. From deserts, to forests, to waterfalls, to space.

''The venue scans your brain as soon as you enter'' The doctor explained quietly as they neared the restaurant wing. It shows you what you most desire to see outside of the window, that's why they are all different.''

Clara slipped her hand into his, noticing that all of the other couples, as odd as they looked, were doing the same. The whole place had a romantic vibe to it that Clara couldn't shift. Luckily, he clasped her hand, wrapping his fingers around hers and he seemed, god forbid, to like it.

They waited in line until a very elegant, but incredibly green lady, with antlers and extra wide eyes, came to talk to them.
''I have a reservation. The Doctor.'' He said quickly.

''Please step inside the scanning pod'' The lady spoke softly, with a large smile on her face.

The doctor hesitated. ''What is the scanner for?''

''To check for love, sir''

Clara looked over to the doctor who stared blankly at the alien. ''I see. And what does that have to do with us eating?''

''Vendan is the planet of purity sir. Love is one of the purest of emotions. We have to scan you both, to ensure you are in love with each other, before allowing you to dine here.''

''Why was that not mentioned in the fine print?'' The doctor snapped. But, still clasping Clara's hand, he led her into the pod.

''Doctor…'' Clara started

''I don't know.'' He answered. ''But I have a strong impulsion to go back to the Tardis and cook something myself.''

The red light surrounding them turned green, and the door opened automatically. ''Thank-you for your cooperation. The scanner is detecting multiple forms of love for you, Doctor. And, only one form for you, Miss…'' The lady paused, unsure of her name.

''Clara''

''Miss Clara. Unfortunately…''

Clara could see the Doctor tense up. Multiple forms of love? Who has he loved?... she had never bothered to ask during her time with him. She supposed he must have, he had children. Then, Clara thought, who has he lost?
He had made an effort, he had done what she asked, despite her not meaning it seriously. If he wanted to eat at the galaxy's best restaurant, then so did she. Before the strange green lady could finish her explanation about why she was going to have to turn them away. Clara turned to face the doctor, and very boldly, kissed him.

If she hadn't of clasped his head with her hands, he would have certainly pulled back in shock. He froze, unresponsive for a few tediously long seconds, before softening against her grip and kissing her back. Clara felt his hand snake around her waist and realized she didn't want the moment to stop. Fake or not, it felt real, pure, and honest.

But they were standing in a room full of people, and a hostess who was probably keen to get back to work. Clara pulled away from the doctor, keeping her gaze with his before speaking. ''Sorry, sometimes… I just cannot help myself.'' She turned to look back to the waitress. ''I have never loved someone so much in my entire life.'' She stated plainly

''Apologies ma'am. It is clear that there has been an error with the scanner. Let me show you to your table.'' The green lady smiled and gestured for Clara and the Doctor to follow. Clara turned to look at him, he was still frozen, his lips parted, eyes staring at the wall, he looked… lost.. ''Doctor'' Clara called.

Clara looked out of the window to see a magical sight of stars sitting within the galaxy. She half expected to see home, England, or some nice place that she had visited on a holiday or with Danny. A part of her could feel her old life slipping away from her. But again, she felt okay with that. It felt.. natural.

''Why did you do that?'' The doctor asked, looking at her. ''Why did you lie?''

''You wanted to come here. You made the effort. Why shouldn't we be allowed here?''

''Because not all love is pure'' The doctor said cautiously ''Sometimes, we love people for the wrong reasons.''

''Love does not need to be understood Doctor. We love who we love. There is no point in trying to understand it.'' Clara reasoned. She saw pain in his eyes. They had enjoyed their meal, and had laughed and joked. But Clara knew that he never truly opened up to her. She knew what he wanted to say, sometimes. But he never spoke aloud. ''Doctor...'' She prompted.

He looked into her eyes, and Clara reached over the table and clasped his hand. There was romance and purity all around them. Everybody was too interested in their other half, to pay attention to them. ''What do you want to tell me?''

He didn't speak. He had talked about the stars, the restaurant, and rumors around it, he had run out of distractions, and was feeling the lull of the romantic vibe in here a little too much. It made his hearts ache, looking at something that he would never truly have. He was too scared to give her his heart, too scared of losing her.

''Okay'' Clara stood and moved over to the seat closer to him. She could feel his breath on her bare arms, and smell the unique smell of him. ''I will start.'' She took a deep breath. ''Do you remember the time I was bitten?... Well, I never forgot any of what I told you. I left you knowing full well what I had told you. But I knew that you thought I had forgotten, and a part of me wanted things to stay the same.''

''Everything?'' He asked.

''Everything. Although it was hazy for a while, I even remember telling me that you loved me too.''

He looked at her, his eyes shining in the dimming light. Clara clasped his hands again and reached forward to kiss him on the cheek. ''Just for tonight. Even if you have to wipe my memory after. Just, be open with me.''

She looked truly beautiful in the light of the room. He saw nobody else but her, her voice in his head, his memories of her in his heart. She had given so much to him. ''I have loved many people Clara. Some of them are still alive. But most, are gone. I have learnt, that it is easier to not love anyone, than to keep getting hurt over and over again.''

''That's not true though, is it'' Clara chided. ''You told me yourself. You love me''

''I told you I loved you. And I meant it. That doesn't mean I am willing to take the risk of losing you, and reliving that pain again.'' He replied plainly.

''What would happen, if you lost me?''

''Everything… and nothing.'' He replied, gripping her hand tighter without realizing.

''Promise me one thing'' Clara was trying to be strong. ''Regardless of what happens to me, whether we figure this out and I live, or we don't and I die. Promise me that you will never stop being the doctor. The man that I love. The man that is full of kindness, bravery and loyalty.''

''I will see what I can do.'' Clara took his pain and absorbed it, hoping that she was taking some of the weight off of his shoulders.

''I am seeing things through your eyes more and more every day. I have no intention of leaving you, and if you want to go and find out exactly what's in store for me, then we will. And I will be right by your side. But we play by the rules, and we hurt no-one.''

''Clara...'' He whispered. The tears in his throat making it too hard to speak.

''Never be cowardly Doctor'' She breathed before she leant forward and kissed him. It didn't matter if they ruined it anymore, for they were a mess anyway. She couldn't keep pretending, with potentially limited time. He had opened his heart to her and he deserved this, he deserved her. She found herself crying too as he cupped her face in his hands, tilting her head upwards and kissing her back with all of the emotion he had left. Clara Oswald was the only mystery worth solving.

Even amongst all of the emotion, Clara was pleasantly surprised at how well he kissed her. He had pulled her closer to him, and taken control. He was gentle, but precise, and he kept her in exactly the right position to prevent that from changing. When they finally parted, his breathing was shallow, his eyes were dry and his expression looked lighter. In that moment, Clara realized that he truly needed her, perhaps he had forgotten what it was like to have someone, or maybe he was just too scared to let go. Whatever it was, Clara mirrored it, and in that same moment, she could not think of anywhere else she wanted to be.

She looked into his eyes, and saw the man she had been travelling with. She smiled, suddenly feeling very happy, and jumped into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling into his shoulder. The doctor curled his arms around her too, pulling her as close as possible to him.

''Hugging isn't so bad after all, is it?'' She whispered.

XXX

She is trapped. Trapped in a shell of some kind. Wires coming in and out of her hands, feet and head. The faint blue light in the corner of her eye, and a screen in-front of her showing her the way out. She tries to move, but pain traps her. She screams, but is silenced, she tries to break free, but is unable. Panic pulls her into a frenzy of tears and screaming. She sees the doctor walk past on the screen, he looks happy, relaxed. Clara calls his name, screams it even. But he doesn't hear her. The pain gets worse, dulling out the panic. She lays there, motionless, unable to fight. She gives up. Her time has come.

Clara awoke with a start. Her body was damp with sweat underneath the bedsheets and her heart was racing within her chest. She looked around her. She was back home, back in her bedroom, within her flat.
No, wait, this wasn't her room. It was a duplicate, created by the tardis. It was all coming back to her. She had not had a nightmare in years. She started to shake. The details were blurry and what she could remember was unpleasant. She cuddled herself into her knees. Somehow, the comfort of her being here was not the same as it used to be. Maybe she had forgotten, forgotten her old self.

The doctor sat quietly in the console room, flicking through the now empty blue book. He was still trying to find out what was going on with his Tardis. And, as if by magic, the machine issued some warnings and began to communicate with him. ''What?'' He stood quickly and ran down the stairs ''What is it?''
He looked at the monitors and messages within them. Undetected life form, time lapse, various faults. ''Just tell me what it is'' He said in frustration. ''You're the one that is acting odd.''
The Tardis displayed an image on the monitor, without instruction. The doctor stared at the screen. There, sat in her makeshift bedroom, cuddled up and clearly upset, was Clara. He contemplated going to see her, but decided against it. She would find him if she needed him. It was unknown territory for him.
''What does this have to do with your readings?'' He spoke aloud.

XXX

''Morning!'' Clara bounced up into the console room to find the doctor. Her bubbly nature and positivity instantly made him feel better. He was so used to being alone, he did not realize how quiet it was. ''Did you miss me?''

He frowned at her. ''I don't even recall picking you up.'' He teased.

''Oh, ha ha'' She replied sarcastically.

He was pleased that whatever upset her during the night, was temporary. She was wearing her usual attire. Despite her looking gorgeous in the black dress she wore to yesterday's dinner outing, he found her normal short skirt and nice blouse familiar and comforting. ''So, where do you want to go to today?''

''I was thinking… work''

''You're in a time machine, you don't need to worry about missing work.'' He responded

''I am not worried about it; I just want to work. Come on Doctor, we can't go from the occasional visit once a week to living together whilst you sort this problem out with the Tardis. I may as well go to work, and you sit in here and try to solve her puzzle.''

He paused, processing her logic. ''So now, I have to go to work too?''

''No'' Clara argued. ''I have to go to work. You figure out why the Tardis has gone from hating me, to loving me.'' She smiled as the Tardis voiced its complaints.

''She didn't like that one bit'' The doctor said, frowning.

''Right, off to work please... you have your preferred storage cupboard.''

He sighed; he had rather liked the idea of spending the day with her. But, after a few pressings of buttons and pulling the lever. They were set to head to earth.

XXX

''One last try'' He said to himself.

The Tardis whirled and groaned, sounded as if it was going to take off, but then… landed again. He sighed. Him and Clara were tied to each other, thanks to the Tardis. ''Oh'' He said quietly ''OH'' He then shouted to himself before running off to find a certain thing.

XXX

Clara walked back towards the Tardis after work. She hadn't even considered going home. The sudden change in her lifestyle and yet, she was not struggling to adapt.

She walked into the storage cupboard to find it empty. The Tardis had gone. She had left her things in there. Clara sighed, trying to ignore the pang of sadness she felt for being abandoned. Well, sort of abandoned.

A short walk back to her flat and she was soon putting the keys into the lock to undo the door. The true smell of home wafted through her nose as she entered her flat, shutting the door gently and taking her shoes off, dropping her keys on the side table as she did. She wanted to cry, and she didn't understand why. Was she happy to be home? Sad because he left her? No, he left her numerous times, that was his thing. He would come back, she knew that, so why was she so upset by being alone?

Clara entered the kitchen and turned the kettle on, hearing the kettle begin to boil she decided what she needed was a nice warm bath to soak away the events over the last few days.
As she opened the door to her bedroom, it hit against something. And to her genuine surprise, it was a big blue police box.

The doctor poked his head out of the doors. ''Clara, you're home!''

''What have I told you about my bedroom? And why didn't you tell me that you had figured out what was wrong with the Tardis, before leaving me?''

''You're cross'' He remarked.

''You're observant.'' She snapped.

''Come inside'' He said, waving his arm. I have figured it out.

Clara stepped inside the Tardis. The doctor stood near the console. ''So, what has been upsetting the—Ouch!'' She cupped the side of her head as a strong pain shot through her, making her ears ring and her eyes clench shut. In the time of her reaction the Doctor ran up to her and scanned her with his sonic screwdriver. Clara looked as he waited for the readings to come through.

''It's you!'' He exclaimed ''You're the one that's upsetting her.''

''Well…'' Clara rubbed her head as the pain began to pass. ''I am not surprised at that.''

''You said that you saw a projection, correct?''

''Yes''

''And, the Tardis has not allowed itself to leave wherever you are. Tell me Clara, have you been having any bad dreams? Strange thoughts, almost as if you have lost some of your… feelings?''

Clara went to respond but paused and waited. ''Well… yes, I suppose.''

''Was there bad dream last night, can you remember it?''

''Yes, I remember having one, but not the details of it… Wait a minute.'' She eyed him suspiciously ''Were you spying on me?!''

''No, well… Yes… But it wasn't by choice.'' He waved off the awkwardness quickly.

''The Tardis has connected itself to you and your mind.''

''It what?'' Her eyebrows raised

''The tardis has, for some reason connected you to me and therefore won't let us part. It is registering an unknown threat and is clearly unsettled by some kind of time lapse between us, but not enough to evict you, enough to protect you. That's why she displayed a replay to you from my conversation with Missy. It wasn't a projection, it was already stored in her system from when it actually happened. That's why she turned the monitor on whilst you were suffering from a nightmare last night, because she is linked to you and was trying to tell me that.''

''But you have fixed it now, you flew away from school earlier… so problem solved, right?''

The doctor pulled a face. ''Well, no, not really. The Tardis won't let me leave Earth. I simply flew it back here as a test. I couldn't get it to go anywhere else. It seemed to use a lot of energy, for some reason. I can't control when she does or doesn't tell me things about you, but what I do know is that if there is a time lapse being detected, then she is not wrong. I just don't see how there can be.''

''What was that pain I had when I came in here?'' Clara questioned, knowing it had now totally dissipated.

''Telepathic connection. You walked into a strong signal after it had been weak for a few hours. That's why you haven't been unsettled about not being able to return home, or call your family, or do your marking, or whatever you like to do, because your anxiety is entranced in the stronger connection with myself and the Tardis. It doesn't see it as wrong, so you don't feel it as being wrong.''

Clara frowned. This was a lot to take in. ''So, how do we stop it?'' But even as she said it, she could feel that she didn't want to.

''I don't know. I cannot travel through your time stream with you beside me, it would tear the fabric of time…. Maybe that's why she has done it, for my protection.'' The Doctor turned to look at the console. ''That would make sense. Do you remember your dream?''

''No, I had almost forgotten it by the time I woke up. I was just very unsettled.''

He clapped his hands together. ''I don't know then. Until I can find out where the time lapse is and why it is causing the Tardis to want to protect you, and me, I can't control it.''

''Wow, that must be a shock for you.'' She joked

He ignored her ''Clara, you should only get one future and one past. Something that you do with me, splits that. Your lifespan goes on for decades if you remain here, on earth. But with me, it is much shorter. There is something very dangerous going on here, and I don't like not knowing about it.''

The excitement about having the answers had gone, and the weight of responsibility for her life was now very visible on his shoulders. They had spent long enough talking seriously yesterday. She didn't want that for him tonight, not after the lovely evening they shared together.
Her lips tingled as she remembered kissing him in the restaurant, and then having coffee in an invisible café near the most beautiful galaxy she had ever seen. They had connected, she didn't want to ruin that just yet. ''Life is one big risk Doctor. I don't ignore it, but I don't hide from it either. Besides, I like being here.''

''That's probably the telepathic connection. It will pass'' He replied plainly. Clara smiled. He was okay. ''So, where would you like to go?''

Clara sighed, ''Actually, I was hoping to have a bath. Would it be too much trouble for you to wait whilst I do so? There is no bath on the Tardis. Bit of a design flaw, if you ask me.'' She teased.

''Of course'' He said plainly. ''I will find something to do.''

XXX

''Why would you do that?!'' Clara snapped. Her still wet body wrapped in a towel. The minute the bath water had drained from the bath, she could hear the unsettling noises of something being pulled apart. There, in the kitchen, sat the doctor, with the remains of her toaster, all out in pieces.

''Relax Clara, I can take you to a planet so hot, it will turn toast into popcorn in seconds.'' He was so busy playing with all the tiny bits of metal, obviously trying to make something entirely different that he hadn't even looked up at her.

Clara sighed. She should have known he would of gotten bored. Still, she had no idea when she was going to be back here for the long term, it wasn't critical.
In her train of thought, she had not noticed the doctor was now looking at her.

''I'm sorry'' He stated plainly ''I should have asked.''

This was as new for him as it was for her. None of the stories the doctor had told her, of previous companions involved quite so much drama, and definitely not any of them living together. She recalled how she had felt seeing the storage cupboard empty, and realized that she was just as out of her depth with these feelings as he was. Plus, he looked very content doing it. ''It's okay'' She sounded kinder this time.

He kept her eye contact as he stood and walked over to her. She was still wrapped in just her bath towel, and as big and fluffy as it was, she felt very exposed to him. He looked down at her, getting right into her personal space, she could smell him, and see the tiny detail of that velvet coat of his, which she was growing very fond of. He reached up and tucked a stray hair back behind her ear before allowing his fingers to tickle down her neck to her collar bone.

Her skin tingled where he had touched her.

''Go and get some clothes on. We have work to do, figuring out this time lapse problem, now hurry, before I take your kettle apart too.''

Clara smiled, nodded and scuttled from the room.

The plot takes hold in the next chapter. I wrote this years ago, so I am aware that my writing style is outdated, but for those that are reading it, please leave a review if you have time. It will help my editing in future. Thanks for reading.