He avoids her at all costs. But unfortunately, they go to a pretty small school, which means that either on campus or at a social event, he was bound to see her at some point. Especially when his heart and body and soul are still acutely aware of her, attuned to her every movement like he's stuck on her radio frequency.

So he knows she's at the party before he knows she's at the party. All his hair stands on end and his heart starts pounding in the way only she can cause. And sure enough, when he glances at the front door across the room, she's walking in with Trish to her right, scanning the room. When Trish sees him, she gives him just about the scariest look he's ever seen. He swallows and looks away.

"Hey, you okay?" Dez asks, and Austin nods absently.

"Yeah, I think I might just need some air."

He forces his feet to push him in the opposite direction of Ally, towards the back door. Every part of him wants to go to her, even though his mind is ringing with the words she said in their last conversation. But he hasn't seen her in weeks, and he misses her.

Almost as if the sky itself feels his pain, it's so cloudy outside that the moon is just a gray flicker, and he can't see a single star. He downs the rest of his drink as the drinks he had earlier start to take effect, warming his skin despite the chilly night air.

He hates himself a little for getting so attached to Ally when she had a boyfriend that she clearly had no intention of breaking up with. He hates himself for going back to her again and again when he knewhe was developing feelings for her. And he hates himself for how much this hurts, despite the anger still boiling just below the surface. He should be furious with her, should want to cut her out of his life for the things she said and the pain she's caused him, but the truth is that even standing outside, he can still feel the pull trying to drag him back to her. And he wants to go back to her. He wants to kiss her and hold her and tell her everything he wishes he had said before. Because maybe if he had just said those things, it would've been enough for her to break up with Dallas.

He wants to just be with her again. He wants to play frisbee with her at the beach and laugh with her over ice cream and pretend to be asleep as she pulls his arms tighter around her in the morning and keep up the charade even when his smile gives him away, until she's giggling against his lips, only to pull away and laugh harder when he immediately kisses her back.

He doesn't know how long he's out there, standing against the wall of the house and staring at his feet, but at some point he hears the door open and close. All his nerves start buzzing, and he doesn't have to look to know who it is.

"I am very drunk," Ally says by way of greeting, resting her shoulder against the wall next to him.

"Congrats," Austin murmurs, his own mind fuzzy from the alcohol.

"I know you're mad at me," she continues. "You have every right to be, and you really don't owe me anything. But…And this is me risking looking like a complete fool…" He meets her eyes. "Can we just pretend for the night that we're okay and blame it on being drunk?"

"Why?"

Her eyes are wide and slightly glazed as she watches him, and he can hardly believe those same eyes looked at him with such coldness the last time they spoke. She's looking at him like she used to, sparkling eyes full of a warm glow—a glow that he knows exactly how to turn into a blazing fire, he thinks before he can stop himself.

"I miss you," she says softly. "I miss everything about you. And…I want you."

Rain starts drizzling beyond the porch, droplets softly tapping the cover above them. "So you broke up with Dallas."

"It's complicated."

"That's the problem."

"We could pretend," she says. "Just for tonight. We could pretend things aren't complicated."

"But they are."

"I'm working on that."

"What does that mean, though? Because you would clearly rather be with Dallas, and I can't go back to the way things were. I want to be friends again, but I can't be friends with you right now."

Ally's fingertips brush his, and a shiver goes through him. "Then don't be my friend."

He clenches his jaw and grabs her arms, pinning her to the wall as the rain starts picking up and thunder claps as if it can sense his rising emotions. "I should just leave you out here. I kind of hate you right now, and I know you're fucking playing me again."

She swallows, bending her elbows to rest her hands on his wrists. "I was never playing you," she says. "Everything I've done and said…it's all been real."

"I should just walk away," he mutters, more to himself than her. But she's here and she wants him and he's having trouble remembering why he's so angry at her.

So instead of walking away, he gives in to the pull and kisses her hard, squeezing his eyes shut. Her head hits the wall behind her with the force, but she seems unfazed. Her hands, still gentle on his wrists, slowly pull his hands off her arms and move them to her hips. With her arms free, she reaches up and plunges her hands into his hair, pulling on it in that way that drives him crazy. He hates her for knowing how to make him feel like this. He doesn't want her to stop.

He digs his fingers into her hips and pulls her closer until she's flush against him and he can feel her heartbeat against his own. He pulls away and dips his head to kiss her neck, and for the first time he doesn't worry about leaving a mark. In fact, he makes sure he leaves one, and if she realizes what he's doing she doesn't seem to care. She tilts her head back and murmurs his name as he kisses right under her jaw.

"Inside," she breathes, and his blood turns to fire at the subtext in her tone and the implications of that single word.

But instead, he pulls away and looks at her, still dizzy with desire, and shakes his head. "No," he says. "If I'm gonna fuck you, I want you to be mine."

"I'm not a possession, but that was sexy as fuck."

He pushes her away gently, thinking about cold showers. "Break up with Dallas."

"It's not that simple."

"I can't be with you when you're with someone else. That's not asking much."

"You don't understand—"

"Then tell me! Enlighten me with all these complications you're talking about!"

"I can't!"

He sets his jaw. "Goodnight, Ally." He shoves his hands in his pockets and starts walking back inside, but he hesitates, looking at his feet. Quietly, he adds, "Text me when you get home safe tonight."

He hears her sniffle, and he walks back inside, his fingers twitching inside his pockets with the urge to hold her. By the time he's out the front door and walking back to his apartment, the rain is pouring, drenching him to the bone. But at this point, he doesn't care. The rain pulls the heat from his skin, and he allows it to wash away whatever it was that happened back there.

"Austin!" He stops. "Austin, please wait!"

He turns around, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes and squinting against the rain and the darkness. Sure enough, Ally is running towards him. Her soaked hair sticks to her face, and her makeup is running, and as she gets closer and he sees the puffiness in her eyes, he wonders which water droplets streaking down her face are rain and which are tears.

"Ally, I told you, I'm not having sex with you."

She shakes her head. "I'm not just playing you," she says over the rain. "I care about you. A lot."

"Well, to be honest, you're doing a shit job of showing it. And I can't do this anymore."

She takes a slow step closer to him, hands out in a placating gesture. "Austin, please. I just need you to trust me—"

"Why should I?" he bursts, hating the way he can hear his own pain in his voice. "You said it yourself, you're cheating on your boyfriend and don't even have the fucking decency to break up with him!"

"Do you really wanna know why I can't break up with him?!" she shouts, squeezing her eyes shut and clenching her fists at her sides.

"Yes! That's what I've been asking this whole time!"

"I'm scared, okay?!"

He rolls his eyes. "Bullshit, Ally. There's nothing for you to be scared of."

"I'm scared because breaking up with him means I've wasted nearly three years of my life on him."

"That's how dating works. You're just wasting more time staying with him."

She shakes her head. "You don't understand—"

"I understand that you're making fucking excuses—"

"I'm scared that he's the only person who will ever actually stay with me!" she blurts, meeting his eyes with fire in her own, and he realizes she's actually fucking serious. He sets his jaw and fights the urge to roll his eyes and tell her that's the last thing she should be afraid of.

As if she's just realizing what she admitted, she swallows and looks away from him, taking a deep, shaky breath and wrapping her arms around herself. "Dallas was sweet freshman year," she says. "I wouldn't have liked him if he wasn't. He was charming and flirty and funny and basically everything I could want. But then, when we started going out, I guess…I guess since he wasn't chasing me anymore, he got bored, or maybe he realized that since I was his girlfriend he didn't need to do all that anymore. But I could deal with the indifference and his fucked up games and even the bad sex because at least he was willing to stay with me. He made me believe he was the only one who would stay with me."

She sniffles and glances at him again before looking at the ground. "I know it's stupid, and I know I should've gotten out a long time ago, before I started believing all his bullshit. But then you came along, and you made everything okay. I could be with you and Dallas would still stay with me and I could have the best of both worlds. If…If I never broke up with Dallas, then you'd never be able to be my boyfriend and you and me would never turn into me and him."

His heart breaks at the idea that she could ever think Dallas was the best she could do. But his anger is still right under his skin, and it manifests faster. "So you were never planning on breaking up with him? That's so fucking manipulative, Ally. How is what you're doing to me any different than what he's doing to you?!"

She looks up at him, hurt in her eyes, as if she actually expected him to be okay with all this. "Because I actually care about you, Austin! I did this for us!"

"You did this for you," he says. "You're the one who's too scared to dump him. And what the fuck, you really think I'd turn into him?!"

"We had something good! Why do we have to change it?! Why does it matter if there's a label on our relationship?! We know how we feel, isn't that enough?!"

"You're still fucking another guy! Of course it's not enough, because this isn't even real! You keep whining about how I don't understand your situation, but what about you, huh?! You don't seem to understand that I'm fucking in love with you!"

Lightning streaks across the sky then, illuminating her face as her eyes go wide and rain mixes with tears on her cheeks. His heart pounds at his admission, one he hadn't even really been comfortable admitting to himself, but now it's real and it's sitting in the air between them like a solid entity.

He swallows and looks away from her, but she reaches up hesitantly and rests her hands on his cheeks, making him meet her eyes again. And with the way she's looking at him, he feels warm all over, despite the rain still soaking through their clothes. His hands find her waist.

"Austin," she breathes, "I love you, too." And then she kisses him softly, questioningly, as if she didn't just rip his heart from his chest and claim it as her own, as if she didn't just light up his world and tear it to shreds all at once.

Still, he gives himself a few moments to kiss her back and let her words sink in. Because for some reason, whether it be their past few months together or the earnestness in this kiss, he believes her.

But then he forces himself to stop, pulling back until his lips just barely brush hers.

"Then prove it," he tells her, and he can barely hear himself over the rain. But he feels her shiver and then nod, her nose bumping against his with the motion, so she must have heard him. He steps back to look at her, and she lifts her chin with that blaze in her eyes he saw at that party all those months ago, when she made the decision to get back at Dallas by using his own dare against him—determination, and the confidence of accepting a challenge she knows she's going to win.

He walks away from her then, this time with a little hope.

He tries to focus on school, like maybe if he acts like he isn't thinking about Ally, he'll actually stop thinking about her. He finally tells Dez why he's been acting so weird and secretive these past few months, and talking about it helps. Dez assures him that he did the right thing, ending it with Ally, because they couldn't keep going the way they were, not with Austin's feelings for her growing so strong.

"Austin, you've been staring at the same page in that textbook for the past ten minutes," Dez says, and Austin looks up from where he's sitting at the counter. Dez gives him a look, but Austin can't take him very seriously when he's wearing a Kiss the Cook apron. "Ally again?" he asks.

Austin sighs and nods. "Do you think she meant it, when she said she loves me?"

Dez shrugs. "I don't know, buddy. You know her better than I do. But I don't think that's something she'd lie about."

"It's just been almost a week since the party, and I haven't heard from her. I really thought this time was gonna be different. She was acting like she was actually planning on breaking up with Dallas to be with me."

"They've been together for three years. I doubt breaking up with him will be easy, even as dickish as he is."

Austin frowns a little. "I don't know. I feel kinda stupid for getting my hopes up."

Dez opens his mouth to respond, but someone knocks on the door. He frowns, knitting his eyebrows together. "Are you expecting someone?"

Austin shakes his head, but somehow he knows it's her. But before he can get up, Dez is already answering the door.

"Oh. Hey," Dez says.

"Hey," comes Ally's voice from beyond the doorway. "Um, is Austin here?"

"One sec." Dez looks back at Austin. "Are you here?" he asks.

Austin clenches his jaw in embarrassment, giving Dez a slight smile. "Yeah, I got this, buddy." He walks over and grabs the door, opening it wider until he can see Ally. He swallows and looks at Dez again. "Give us a minute?"

"Oh. Right." Dez nods and jabs his thumb behind him. "I'll just…yeah." He walks to his room, and Austin takes a deep breath and steps outside with Ally, onto the small landing outside and shuts the door behind him.

"Dez'll be trying to listen through his door," Austin says awkwardly by way of explanation. "Best to have two doors and the living room as a buffer." Ally nods, her cheeks tinted pink as she takes a small step away from him until her back is against the railing, playing with her hands. He clears his throat, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You, um, you look good," he says, just to fill the silence.

She nods, laughing a little and looking at him sympathetically. "Austin, it's okay."

He exhales. "Please say something."

She searches his eyes, then looks down at her hands—not a good sign. His heart drops. She scrunches her nose and bites her lip.

"I broke up with him," she says, her shaky voice barely above a whisper.

He swallows. "Do…do you regret it?"

She shakes her head. "No," she says a little louder, her voice thick. "No, of course not. It just, um, didn't go very well." Her voice raises as if her last sentence was a question, and she laughs a little and swipes a hand across her face before glancing up at him again. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm crying. I swear this isn't to make you feel bad or anything."

"What happened?"

She shakes her head, her shoulders raising a little as she shrinks in on herself. "He said some things. I told him everything, and I expected him to react the way he did, but that didn't really make it any easier." She sniffles. "I'm sorry," she repeats, wiping her face and looking at where her tears stick to the back of her hand with annoyance. "God, I hate crying."

"You don't have to apologize. At least, not for crying."

She laughs again, looking up at him. "Thank you. I have enough to apologize for as it is."

Austin sighs. "What did Dallas say to you?"

"It doesn't matter. He just kinda reminded me of all the reasons I couldn't bring myself to break up with him sooner." She sniffles again, looking down and wrapping her arms around herself. "I'm still really scared," she adds quietly, her voice catching at the end.

"I'm scared, too," he admits. "I…don't think we really trust each other, do we?"

She purses her lips and meets his eyes, shaking her head as her chin quivers. "I've been trying to. I know you're sick of hearing that, but—"

"I believe you. I think it might just take time. For both of us."

She nods. "This was a lot easier when we were hooking up in bathrooms and pretending to be just friends the rest of the time."

"But it wasn't real." He wipes a tear from her cheek with his thumb, using his other hand to take one of hers. "Things are scarier and harder now, but…this is real, you know?"

She leans into his touch, closing her eyes. Then she takes a deep breath and opens her eyes again to look at him. He drops his hand away from her cheek.

"I'm sorry," she says. "For everything. For—for making you feel played, for being so selfish, for getting angry at you and for being so scared. And I'm sorry for not trusting you."

He takes a deep breath. "Thank you. Can we just…start over? Clean slate?"

She shakes her head, standing up straighter. "I don't want to start over. Everything that's happened up until now, as painful as it's been, is what led me here, to you."

He smiles slightly. "You had me there for a second."

"I probably could've worded that better," she says. "Austin, I know I fucked up. A lot. But I also know I love you, and I want to trust you and stop being scared. And I just really, really want you to be my boyfriend."

"You're sure?"

She nods. "Absolutely positive."

He smiles a little more, his chest flooding with relief. She really is the same person he fell in love with, despite her mistakes. But he made mistakes, too. They can get past it, though, and he can tell she means it when she says she wants to put in the work.

"I love you, too," he says.

She smiles up at him, then bites her lip. "Listen, I know we literally just got together about three seconds ago, but if you're not busy…I have the apartment to myself for the night. And if I'm your girlfriend now…"

He laughs and wraps his arms around her, and she rests her hands on his arms. "You truly have a one-track mind," he says.

"I promise I don't! I really do want all that stuff I said. I just also really wanna have sex with you."

He kisses her, feeling a smile on her lips that matches his. "Give me two minutes, and I'm yours," he says against her lips, and then he kisses her again.

He starts pulling away, but she grabs his shirt and pulls him back to her, bumping her nose against his. "I have condoms," she says.

He laughs again. "I need my keys, Ally. And shoes."

She purses her lips and lets go, looking down and then back up at him, her cheeks pink. "Right."

"Plus, if I disappear on Dez one more time, he said he'd change the locks and hire a hitman."

Ally giggles. "Fine. Two minutes."

He kisses her one more time and then forces himself to pull away and go back inside. He rushes into his room and starts pulling his shoes on.

"Dez, I'm leaving!" he calls.

Dez pokes his head in the door. "Is this good news or bad news?"

Austin stands up again and grabs his keys. "You won't see me until tomorrow," he says with a grin. Then he thinks about it. "Afternoon," he adds.

"So, good news. Make good choices," Dez says.

"No promises," Austin replies, patting his friend's chest as he walks past him. Then he stops and backtracks, grabbing his keys off his dresser. "Hold down the fort." He points to Dez.

"What do you think I've been doing the past three months while you've been off falling in love?"

Austin smiles and waves before rushing out of the apartment. Ally isn't on the landing, but he can hear her car running on the street.

When he gets in her car, she barely has time to look up from her phone before he grabs her face and kisses her passionately. She makes a surprised noise, but then he feels her melt into the kiss and smile against his lips.

"Austin," she laughs when she finally pulls away, "I need to drive."

He smiles, breathing heavily, feeling like he's floating as she pulls out onto the street. "We start working out our issues tomorrow," he says. "Afternoon."

She nods. "Deal. Open communication over pancakes?"

He looks at her. "I'm so fucking in love with you. You're my dream girl."

She grins, eyes trained on the road. "I love you, too."

"Are we too young to say we're in love?"

"Who cares?"

"Nobody who matters," he says, and she grabs his hand where it's resting on the console. He bounces his leg in anticipation, glancing over at her way too often. Her smile is brighter than he's ever seen it, and he knows they're gonna be okay. Still, her apartment feels a million miles away. "Can you drive any faster?"

She laughs, her musical voice surrounding him. "And you called me impatient."

"I said you have a one-track mind."

"I'm already going over the speed limit," she giggles. "But what's your rush?"

He raises an eyebrow. "My rush is that I've been waiting months for this and you got me all hot and bothered talking about pancakes."

She laughs again. "Talking about pancakes turns you on?"

"You could talk about calculus and it would probably turn me on."

"That's true love."

She pulls into her complex's parking garage about two minutes later, and she practically drags him to the elevator. As soon as the doors close, he's on her, pinning her to the wall and kissing her. When they get to her floor, they stumble down the hall and he kisses her neck while she unlocks her door, and he barely pulls the door closed behind them before she's pulling his shirt over his head.

He's honestly shocked they make it to her room. But it's worth it.

"I didn't know you liked drive-ins so much," Austin says as he returns to the car with their concessions.

She turns from where she's setting up their pillows and blankets and grins at him. "I didn't have any special soft spot for them," she says, scooting over and taking the popcorn and her soda out of his hands so he can climb in next to her. "But remember that drive-in we went to a while ago? It was kinda like our first date. And then you took me to one on our first real date, and now…I don't know, drive-ins kinda feel like our thing."

He smiles and grabs a handful of popcorn from the bag in her lap. "They can be our thing."

"Plus, it's a lot easier to make out in the back of a car than in movie theater seats."

He snorts and shakes his head, draping an arm around her as the lights dim around the parking lot. "One-track mind."

"Hey, I have three years of terrible sex to make up for, and you always look like that, which is hardly fair. And I love you."

"I always look like what?" he giggles.

"Like walking sex!"

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not."

"You're right, I'm not." She snuggles into his side and rests her head on his shoulder. "It's not my fault I look like this. It's yours, for your dirty mind and all the unspeakable things you wanna do to me. Perv."

She giggles and whacks his chest. "How am I supposed to say anything nice to you?"

"No idea. I'm insufferable."

She laughs again, then tilts her head up to press her lips to his neck. He shivers, and she smiles against his skin.

"That's what I thought," she murmurs, and then she goes back to watching the movie.

He tightens his arm around her. "How are you feeling?" he asks softly, knowing she'll understand his meaning.

She exhales. "Happy," she says quietly. She sits up to look at him, and he meets her eyes. "We've been together six months, and whenever I see you I still feel the same way I did when we first got together, but without all the fear."

He nods, smiling and brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "Me, too. Things just feel good."

"This is still the honeymoon phase, right?" she asks with a giggle. "I mean, most couples aren't still all starry-eyed after six months."

"The first couple months weren't quite the honeymoon phase, though," he points out, remembering all the tears and arguments and misunderstandings that came with trying to build back the trust between them.

"Maybe that means we get to be like this forever. We had enough issues before we got together to last a lifetime."

He laughs a little. "Maybe." He caresses her face. "Happy and hopeful is a beautiful look on you, Ally."

She bites her lip as if to hide the grin on her face and bumps his nose with hers, her eyelids drooping as her gaze travels from his eyes to his lips. "You're a beautiful look on me."

"No idea what that means."

She giggles. "Me neither. You just make me feel happy and hopeful." She leans back to meet his eyes again. "Thank you for pushing me to be better. And thanks for helping me feel confident in myself again."

"You did all that," he tells her. "I was just a cheerleader and a shoulder to cry on when you needed it."

She kisses him softly, then presses her forehead to his. "You are so much more to me than that."

He smiles a little. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

"Wasn't there a movie we were supposed to be watching or something?"

She laughs. "Pretty sure it's on Netflix."

"Netflix never goes well for us."

"We'll get through an entire movie someday. When we get sick of each other."

Now he laughs. "Yeah. That'll happen."

"We just need to stop watching movies alone together."

"I'd rather not."

She combs her fingers through his hair, and he closes his eyes. "Like I said, we'll get to it someday."

He smiles and kisses her again, only pulling away to whisper against her lips, "We have all the time in the world."

idk how i feel about this ending i'm not super happy with it but oh well. anyway i'll prob go back to spellbound now so if you read that keep an eye out. kay thanks love you bye