I've edited the previous two chapters in a more detailed way.

Chapter: 3

After getting the spiel from the frog-creature; We learnt the so-called 'Toad Prince' is east around five-or-so-hours-away, that just so happens to be where we meant to go anyway, very convenient.

We traversed for a while to cover more terrain, but due to my unexercised body, I tire fast. Aqua followed soon after, yeah, wow, the power of a goddess, everyone what a true sight to behold. She has the same stamina as a stay at home Gaming-Neet, how pathetic. And yes I'm aware I just dissed myself but I will use any method to make fun of that awful creature, even taking myself down with her. The frog dude is tagging along behind us bound-up, he kinda looks like one of those cheap rides, ya know? The ones outside of arcades, you put the coin in and it staggers up and down, what a shameful experience.

So, we made a small 'camp' after my legs started trembling with weariness; Aqua's face was flush with exhaustion. The frogman was mourning all the way, this guy... he was sent to kill us yet he's acting like we sold his family to the rich for our capitalist empire.

When the first small-fry-demon attacked, we realised we were gonna need some form-of-cover. Aqua suggested tying the frog-dude up as bait, so I suggested using her; the gross 'aura' she has should compel all the demons her way. Much like those gangbang hentai she will be surrounded by raw red creatures, and I will laugh, and laugh at her. Wa-wait am I turning into a psycho-sadist? Is this goddess twisting my lovely personality or is it our fucked situation?

An-anyway we came to a 'friendly comprise. So, against my better judgement, I left it to Aqua, her promising to "WOW!" me with her 'godlike' skill, at the time I thought; If she manages to build anything at the level of Eeyore's house, I will pray to her every day.

She... surprisingly, made an okay-looking base from a few sturdy logs, uprooted from the exasperated ground. I thank any other god than Aqua, like Jesus, I didn't make the Eeyore comment out loud, I can already imagine what she would say; "Heh, Kazuma, why don't you start the praying now, on your knees Hiki-Neet." I almost puke at the thought.

She may be a terrible goddess but she's definitely good at construction. Which just so happens to be useless in our current predicament, what can she even do? build us a windmill, yeah, the Demon-King is gonna piss his pants at that, because everyone knows that demons hate alternative energy sources, very scary.

Welp,

I can't tell if my original choice to go 'east' was lucky or not, we now have a lead, but it could mean my death. Should I use Aqua as a bargaining chip? maybe if I turn her in I can guarantee a safe happy life. Then again if monsters are real so are ghosts, and having Aqua haunt me would be a constant PTSD experience.

So here we are two hours later, with the frog-dude-roped-up due to Aqua using a skill, [Water Bind], the only reason she used it was because...

I HAD TO REMIND HER THAT! YES! SHE IS A GODDESS MEANING SHE SHOULD HAVE A LOT, A SHIT LOT OF ABILITIES! Her own moronic brain couldn't even apply her uses, I had to drag it outta her.

I hate to reiterate this but I refuse to believe this disgusting useless creature is a goddess.

"Oi! Shitty-Neet, we got some loathsome, soul-sucking demons to slay. Heh, don't back out now coward-Neet, I know you're probably pissing your shitty-tracksuit-pants in fear, a lot like your first pathetic death." Aqua has a self-righteous smile, her eyes turning a darker more menacing shade of blue.

"Bitch", I mumble out in reply, just let it go, be the bigger man. That is what I would say if I was some gentleman-simp, I believe in true gender equality and this slut deserves my full-righteousness.

Does she think she's the 'DOOM SLAYER' or something equally as cancerous?

"You homicidal-goddess, we... will... die... if we head there without a plan, you acted so scared in the first fight why are you so enthusiastic now?" I reply irritated and a little suspicious.

"Eh? um? it-it's, um? FINE! if you must know Hiki-Neet it's because I had a... monumental lapse in... judgement, I kinda forgot about my wide and amazing skill list." She starts off with a lie but couldn't hold it, giving me the saddest and yet most disturbing information I've ever received. She may have skill but the slut has no talent to use it.

Maybe her small, pitful brain is made up of pure water? she is the goddess of it after all. I don't think I can ever look at the essential liquid the same way ever again, without being reminded of my ever-growing despair.

"Aqua, are you good at anything? can someone as simple as you really call themselves a goddess?" I tell her in a deadpan tone; My green eyes blank with emptiness, showing just how unimpressed I truly am.

Unlike the many times before, tears do not form, this is genuinely surprising to me, by now she would be crying and snotting; her face resembling a suicidal blobfish. But a shark-like smirk finds itself permeating her bitchy-face, making me want to smack at her revolting expression.

"Heh, I'm the simple one? whatever you say... tractor-Neet," this... goddess.

"Oi! take that back, you blue-haired-cretin," I dispute back at Aqua. Pshht, little does she know, that name definitely doesn't affect me at all, no sir, I definitely don't wanna strangle the bitch.

"N! and O! spell NO! you simple Tractor-Neet." How childish, my little brother uses the exact same line to refute me, is she an infant, would being in a relationship with her make you a paedophile due to her IQ?

"Uh? excuse me but can you get this over wit-." Aqua and I cut off the rude-frog-creature.

"NO!" I scream at the frog.

"NO!" so too does Aqua causing our voices to collide together in an ugly mash.

The blue moron pushes out her cheeks in disgust.

Hah, two can play that game, I copy the degenerate.

We intently stare at each other, our cheeks inflated with hot air. Heh, I put plastic bags over my face for fun, I'll easily win this...

I remember when my so-called friends forced me to do this exact thing. The only difference was I had to hold my eyes closed. They left me, I was partial asphyxiated and rushed to an emergency room. Since that awful day, I do my best to avoid human interaction, but it made me good at holding my breath, truly a hero origin story.

Heh, I got them back, I got them back real-good. I shit and pissed on their property showing just who the true-alpha-Chad was and 'marking' it as my own. I may have been arrested for indecent exposure, but everyone knew that KAZUMA PISSE'S, HE FUCKING PISS'S AND DOSN'T TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE!

The frog-man looks extremely disturbed by our 'shocking' behaviour,

"What is wrong with you-two, for me to end up in this hell. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."

Tch, stop complaining I'm about to win.

Aqua's face is flush, while her eyebrows twitch. Both of her blue orbs are filled up with unshed tears, cry! show them who fucks, Kazuma, Kazuma is the one who fucks; me!

Shit, I can feel my own throat about to choke, come on. Just let go, you useless goddess, you're almost there.

"SHLUUP!" Aqua starts gulping for the good ole-O2. And I swiftly follow but... I come out a champion, I'm the better man, I bested the blue-idiot.

"Hah, I won, who's the Tractor-Neet, now?" My expression is smug, my gaze showing off my clear superiority.

"Eh? th-that wasn't an um? competition, so you couldn't have won, so there! you filthy Hiki-Neet." Heh, she can't admit how astonishing I truly am because of her useless narcissism, if she loses it maybe, just maybe I would allow her to think of me while she tries to get off.

"What a prideful goddess," I utter out, with thick contempt.

"Heh, at least I'm not a shameless Neet." I don't know what she's talking about.

Whatever, well, at least I've got a weapon now. I um? 'required it' from the frog-man, I still don't know our would-be assassin's name.

It's a pure-black, regal long-dagger, gold encrusts the handle, truly it's only fit for someone of my calibre.

Well, before we head to our new opponent, 'The Toad Prince'. I need food, otherwise, I'm gonna die of starvation, I hate to admit this but the useless goddess is my only supply of water but I still need to eat. And with this new weaponry, I'm gonna hunt, it shouldn't be that hard.

Wait... I just triggered a flag, am I gonna die, will some lion eat me alive? n-no I'm lucky that can't happen... wai-wait, no, I ju-just triggered another one, is Aqua's retardation rubbing off on me?

Both my hands grip a handful of my luxurious hair, I'm in despair due to my blunder.

"Neet, you're making some crazy expressions right now", Aqua said.

The frog-guy looks shaken from my display of rapid emotions.

Just let me brood in peace.

Huh? my ears strain on a truly disturbing sound, coming straight from Aqua.

"GRWEEL!" the blue idiot's stomach makes a noise similar to a deranged-Teletubby.

"AHHHHH! HIKI-NEET! I'M DYING!" The goddess screams in autistic fear.

I guess leaving heaven gave her the 'perks' of being mortal, making her even more useless. And adding yet another mouth to feed.

"Oi! are you so unaware about basic life that you don't know what hunger is?" I insult back.

"Please, I long-for death, le-let me go..., too endure this torture." The unnamed-froggish freak sputters at my and Aqua's deranged performance. He's furiously wiggling around in his watery bounds,

We both ignore him.

"We-well how do I fix it, huh, if you're so smart." The blue-idiot proves her small-pathetic-pool of knowledge.

"WE EAT! but due to a certain blue-whore we're in a situation where food isn't much of an option," I yell at the failure.

"Eh? Kazuma who's the blue-whore?", she replies in genuine confusion.

Oi! don't say that. Now, I.., I kinda feel bad, like I'm picking on an actual-retard.

"Nevermind that, Aqua, we need to hunt. I'm not gonna lie, we will die if we don't catch anything."

"Hun-hunt", she lets out a pathetic sniffle, while tears start to form in her eyes. "I, don't wanna hurt a cute-bunny or zebra, please Kazuma, their ha-has... t-to b-be anoth-another wa-way"

What in the hell? I ain't dealing with some thot who laughs at my death but wouldn't harm a 'cute' animal, how disgusting.

"Where in the hell did you get zebra from! is your only knowledge of animals from picture books? you moron." I roar at the goddess.

Her expression is one of extreme offence, I gain some weird gratification from it, why is annoying her so fun? oh yeah, maybe it's because I don't have much else to do in this hell.

"I'll have you know Neet, I learnt about zebras from my sacred alphabet book, Z for Zebra."

She says something truly worrying, did heaven give it to her out of pity for her special needs?

"Please, untie me", the frog mutters, his expression filled with hopelessness.

We, once again ignore the frog-cretin.

"Aqua, I'm gonna ignore your sad-pitful display in favour of the real issue at hand. WE NEED FOOD! The only way I see us getting any is to kill some poor animal." I let my sarcasm really flow at the words 'poor animal'.

"HEHH?! I knew you were sick and demented trash but this is pure satanic behaviour. You Stupid-Neet, are you really so cruel? To hurt innocent adorable animals?"

'Stare',

My expression is blank and deadpan, while I gaze at the goddess.

"He-hey don't look at me that way, perve-." I cut her off, and place my finger upon her supple-cherry-red lips,

"shhh," I quiet the goddess.

She flushes at my provocative attempt.

"Aqua, just like the circle-of-life, animals are there for our consumption. Do you really want to take away their only reason for existence? Are you really so cruel?" I say something completely outrageous.

Her eyebrows tremble as fat tears start to form yet again.

"FIN-FINE! I'll prove I'm not cruel, unlike you, I'll hunt way more... cu-cute-animals, with my godly powers than you could ever achieve," Heh, too easy.

Wait, I can think of a way to spin this even more in my favour.

A devious smirk fills my face, while my eyes-squint in a shrewd way,

"Kaz-Kazuma, what's with that expression? For some reason, I can feel scumminess growing from it." Aqua squeaks in fear.

"Don't... worry about it Aqua, don't worry about it. Tell you what... goddess, how about a deal? the one with the largest... kill wins. The loser has to do what the winner says without complaint."

"Hah, you're on, Hiki-Neet!" Aqua looks on with glee, her previous fright forgotten. The idiot probably thinks she can win with her skills, but she's just too stupid to use them effectively.

Heh, I'm gonna do something truly, truly disgusting, that only the biggest scum would think of when I prevail.

My plan, well, it's disturbingly genius.

When I do... obviously-triumph, I'm gonna order her to carry me everywhere, my poor beautiful-knees hurt from all the walking.

The frog looks completely broken.

"I regret my job choice," he wheezes out in the most dead-voice, I've ever heard, Oi! we haven't done anything that demented, stupid drama-frog.

This is terrible, the blackened-dead-desert is so hauntingly empty, hell, the only so-called 'animal' I've seen was an evil-looking deer that could have come straight from 'fallout', with its mutated green-skin and bulbous-eyes.

I was way too scared to even make an attempt on it, I'm just a regular guy I'm not going against nightmare-fuel.

Well, I doubt Aqua is doing much better.

Just as that thought crossed my mind, I see said-goddess, a smug-looking grin on her annoying face.

"Tch," what is she so snobbish about?

"Oi! Aqua what's got your revolting face so happy? Have you finally realised how to run without tripping over or something similarly as useless?"

Her look trembles a bit before her expression straightens out,

"Heh, Kazuma, are you ready to pay up." No, this goddess couldn't have beaten me, I refuse to believe it.

In her feminine hand, she holds out a pile of crumpled dead-looking... berries?

This... goddess.

I let out an exasperated sigh, filled with all the negative emotion I've felt over these past two hellish days.

"You gigantic idiot, how the fuck, does that pile of mush, translate to meat in your rot-filled brain."

"Well Kazuma, it ca-came fro-from a gigan-gigantic zeb-zebra that I ever-so graciously conquered," she stumbles out, proving her deception.

"that...has to be the worst-autistic lie I've ever heard, zebra-meat? I may have never seen the flesh of a fucking-zebra, believe-it-or-not, but I am sure it doesn't look like berry-mush."

"Ara, ar-ara, Kazu-Kazuma take my word-for-it, now my prize, give-me." She's so bad at lying, a sheen of sweat is obvious on her brow.

"Oi! you're sweating, stop with the obvious li-." The goddess of water suddenly sucks up the sheen of sweat, all evidence gone.

What? Did Aqua really just use her godly-water powers to suck up such a disturbing liquid?

The unholy diety is sporting a nervous grin. As her eyes shift about in alert agitation.

"What sweat? what are you talking about Kazuma?", my eyes bulge at the pure cheek of this deity.

"Th-this goddess really used such a useless ability. Do you have any dignity?"

"So, Kazu-Kazuma how about my re-reward?" The idiot stutters out completely-ignoring-me, while she continues to dig a hole for herself.

"Your still not letting this up?" My tone is level and eyes-blank.

...I'm gonna smack this bitch

I calmly walk up to Aqua my footsteps making a small thudding sound on the desert terrain.

"Eh? Kaz-Kazuma are you going to worship me?"

"Shaccc!" my fist bounces of the extraterrestrial in a pent-up fury.

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" tears are streaming down her cobalt-eyes from my justified attack.

After our all-out-brawl Aqua and I traversed back to our makeshift camp.

I am beaten and bruised; my left eye swollen shut from her attacks.

Aqua looks completely fine because she healed herself, but refused me, how petty.

Now, we are in our current situation.

To my amounting-despair, the frog-dude has escaped. With the water-rope on the floor in pieces, and no sign of the warty-creature anywhere.

A look of horror persists on Aqua's face. I just feel empty.

Shit,

"One of us should have stayed behind," I say with a dead tone and glazed-over-eyes.

"WAHHH!, what do we do Kazuma?!" Aqua screeches.

"Well, Aqua I say we commit-suicide before... an army of angry frog people are assigned to eliminate us."

I hastily grab Aqua's neck, with my genital fingers.

"Perver-," I cut her off before she accuses me of doing something cruel and false.

"Here, I'll do you first, get ready for our mutual-suicide." My appearance is of the utmost-serious.

"Cut it out!, Coward-Neet!" Aqua yells in an ear-piercing pitch.

The blue-haired girl furiously throws my suicidal hand off. This caused me to lose balance and fall in a heap, while she starts crying with terror.

Hm?

I bawl my fist up and slap it in my open palm, that's it!

"Aqua, we have to leave, right now."

Her blubberings stop and she stares at my face with earnest intent.

Then she gives a small shy-nod,

"Ok-okay Kazuma."

Well, looks like she's on board, a shame about my plan tho.

Such a shame.

"I think the biggest tragedy is not being able to execute my plan. I was gonna use you, Aqua as holy-bait, while the toad-prince-guy was unaware of my presence, then I would have dropped-kicked him off a cliff, I mean he's a toad how hard could it be to kill him?"

"Kazuma first; how dare you think of using me, a divine-goddess as bait. Second; toads are among the strongest demons here. Ara, ara~, you are such a Hopeless-Neet"

WHAT!? Yeah, screw-fighting.

Thus, we left our newly built camp and advanced the farthest away from the east, within the Toad Pince's territory.

It's been two weeks since our rushed escape. We've been eating dead berries found on dried-up ferns, just to survive while Aqua produces our drinking water.

Hell, the only reason I'm not malnourished is because Aqua used her skill [Sacred Highness Heal], it cured my sickly-state.

With my only existing 'RL friend', Aqua. I'm being driven slowly insane, my life has gone from Neet-status to depression, you may say there isn't much difference. Well, that shows what you know.

A Neet is a beautiful-sensitive creature who hides-away from the cruel, cruel, world. A depressed person just wants to die, and with the retard with me, the feeling is just growing.

I'm not sure where our current location is. I only know we aren't east, I just needed to get away, from our potential demise.

"Kazuma, I made your favourite." Aqua cheers, a bright smile on her beautiful face. Her behaviour is a stark contrast to our current disheartening location.

She's holding out pure mush of various fruits, they don't look edible.

"Aqua," my gaze stiffens and a frozen expression pervades my face, "we can't keep living like this."

Aqua's brow twitches and her bright expression falters...

"Oh, I know Kazuma... I know," she lets out a nasty snot-filled sniffle while bawling like a banshee.

"Let's keep going today, I don't care if my feet fall off. I'm gonna keep at it until I find something, anything," I said

Aqua reluctantly nods, surprisingly agreeing-along with me.

The useless-goddess and I leave towards potential 'salvation' or certain 'doom'.

My trainers, worn from constant use plop on the ashy sand, while my back is hunched over. I'm gonna find something, I must find something.

Aqua and I continue like this for around an hour-and-a-half, our expressions getting more despaired filled by the second.

"Kazuma, my feets hurt! they hurt Kazuma!"

I let out a short sigh, people who say 'feets' instead of 'feet' are awful people; evidenced by Aqua. "Just heal yourself... useless-goddess," I reply with little to no bite, too mentally drained to really care.

[Sacred Highness Heal,].

Aqua reinvigorates herself, due to me reminding her of her only use, healing.

She seems happier, a huge bright smile lights up her face. I get a nice butterfly feeling in my stomach at her genuine-happy expression, am I sick?

Eh? nevermind.

Seriously, the goddess was the one that caused my current pain in the first place...

Well... I better get comfortable, it's gonna be a long walk.

Before I know it more-than-half the day goes by. Both Aqua and I are on our last legs, we look like skeletons, or me when I drain too much semen, from the exhaustion and strain.

As I'm about to give-away-hope, going back on my previous sentence and giving up. My green eyes focus on something; structure-looking, it's far away and could just be a mirage, but I'm willing to take that bet.

"Aqua, there," I point my finger at our possible rescue. Could this be it? is this our possible salvation?

"Eh? Tractor-Neet, hav-have you done something actually worthwhile?" Aqua looks on and replies in disbelief from my astonishing achievement.

She all of a sudden loses all of her tiredness and a new energetic enthusiasm fills her, as she darts at the base, with otherworldly speed.

"Race you, Kazuma!"

I just let her run, much like a parent would with their kid, and watch her exhaust out.

That should give me some time to jerk off in peace, having her awake, while I try and hide, doing it next to her is a horrible experience.

As Aqua avoids my vision, I wander behind her my pace a lot slower.

Jeez, my knees are gonna split, this is worse than walking around Disney-world. My time in America was a... horrid experience.

Upon reaching the structure, I intensely stare, my green-eyes sharpening to verify my vision, in a scared-sense it will fade.

Yes! I can tell it's one-hundred-per cent real and not a delusion.

Multiple-looking run-down-abandoned constructions, made mostly of timber, are in front of me,

Is this my salvation a deserted ghost-town?... Fuck it, I'll take anything at this point.