It's a Sunday, so nobody really has anything to do. Marlene and Alice want to go tan by the lake in swimsuits, since it's the first warm day of the year, but the last thing I need is Dorcas Meadowes to walk past and spread the news about the three of us becoming nude models.

I instead settle for studying, which is my second favorite pastime. My first favorite pastime is calling people idiots.

Unfortunately, studying is proving to be very difficult, as Sirius and Remus (idiots) are involved in a rather violent game of Wizards chess in the Gryffindor common room (who knew chess could be violent?)

"Must you really perform a dramatic monologue every time your pawn gets taken, Black?" I ask judgingly over my copy of Advanced Potion Making.

Sirius just smirks at me. "Shakespeare is art, love. And anyway, don't you have your own tower, Head Girl? Why don't you study there?"

The real reason why I'm not studying in the Heads Tower is because I'm afraid James will be there. Even though I know now that he doesn't recall last night, I'm worried that being around him will jog his memory somehow.

So I don't answer Sirius, and instead turn back to my textbook. I hear Sirius snickering from behind me, and it fills me with rage, but I stay strong.

"Lily!" cries a fake high-pitched voice. The tiny figure of Dorcas Meadowes comes bouncing over to me. "I feel like it's been ages since we've hung out! How have you been?"

Dorcas Meadowes is drawn to miserable people like a wasp is drawn to light.

"Fine, Dorcas," I tell her, hoping desperately that she doesn't sit down next to me.

She sits down next to me.

"I was so shocked to hear about Marlene and Peter, weren't you?" she asks, batting her eyelashes. "They just seem so different! But it's been a while since Marlene has had a boyfriend, hasn't it? She must be desperate."

"Marlene and Peter aren't dating," I tell Dorcas shortly, flipping a page in my book.

"Mmm, I'm not surprised that she hasn't told you yet. She's always been very secretive about these things, don't you think? Maybe you should ask her about it."

Dorcas Meadowes is literally the most annoying person I've ever met in my entire life, and that's including Petunia, Snape, and drunk James Potter.

"Hey, you're friends with James Potter, right?" Dorcas asks probingly, as if reading my mind.

God, I wish I wasn't.

"Yeah, we're friends," I tell her.

"He's single, isn't he?" she asks.

I glare at her. She doesn't seem to notice, and instead twirls her blonde hair around her fingers, looking happily around the common room.

"Yes," I manage to get out. "Not sure fifteen-year-old-girls are exactly his type, though…"

She conveniently decides to ignore this last part. "Great," she says, beaming. "I'm going to ask him to the next Hogsmeade trip."

Wait, what?

"You can't," I blurt out. Dorcas tilts her head at me.

"What?" she asks innocently. "What do you mean, Lily?"

Uhhhhh.

"It's just-" I hesitate. "James- he doesn't really- he isn't-"

Realization dawns on Dorcas' face, and she suddenly lights up. "Oh. My. God." She throws her hands up to her face, gasping.

No no no no no no no no-

"You fancy James!" she exclaims, beaming. "It's so obvious! I can't believe I didn't realize it before! The way you carried him all the way back to the Heads tower when he was drunk last night-"

"I did not carry James anywhere," I correct her, my face burning up. "I walked with him because he's my friend." I lower my voice. "And I do not fancy him. Ask him to Hogsmeade. I couldn't care less!"

Dorcas is still grinning. "Whatever you say, Lily," she says in a sing-songy voice. "Don't worry, your big secret is safe with me!"

Before I can argue more, Dorcas suddenly stands up and skips away to the portrait hole. I groan, slamming my head onto the table.

"Trying to give yourself a concussion, love?" I hear Sirius say from behind me.

It's official. This day is garbage.