Chapter 3 Father Son

If there was one Koopaling who Bowser would have never expected to come to him for advice, it would be Iggy. Why would he? Iggy was a certified super genius. He had discovered an element when he was four years old, he had gone to college for the first time as a seven year old, and had obtained a total of nine college degrees. So naturally, when Iggy showed up at the entrance to Bowser's bedroom, the Koopa King was surprised.

Of course, he let him in. What kind of father would he be if he didn't let his son in? Not a good one, and certainly not one that the Koopalings could deem approachable.

Iggy sat in an armchair beside Bowser's literal king size bed. He dug his nails into the arm of the chair, scratching it like a cat would. He bit his lip, and directed his gaze down toward the ground. He stared at one particular spot, although Bowser didn't fully realize what spot that was until Iggy spoke up.

"Are those bunny slippers?"

Bowser chuckled apprehensively. "Noooo." With his left foot, he swept the slippers underneath the bed. There were just some secrets that King Bowser Hortensia Koopa I wasn't ready to spill.

Iggy shook his head and placed his fingers to his forehead. Bowser watched as his adopted son continued to stare off at the floor. He looked like he was thinking hard. While this was normal behavior of someone like Ignatius, it still caused Bowser a little discomfort, as he was not accustomed to running across Koopas who think.

"Iggy, what's the problem?"

Iggy let out a breath and rubbed his fingertips across his forehead in a circular pattern. "I am experiencing a certain amount of distress."

Bowser blinked. That was it? Well, that made his job easier! At least Iggy wasn't coming to him about a complex Physics equation he wanted to solve, nor was he trying to figure out how to split an atom properly. Bowser couldn't handle either of those, but distress? He could deal with that; piece of cake!

"What is causing you distress, son?" Bowser asked, trying to hide his relieved smile.

Iggy grunted. "Uh. It would seem that I am experiencing distress regarding the actions of my biological father."

Okay, so maybe Bowser's job wasn't easier. He remembered when the Koopalings had gone to see their biological dad when he magically showed up after eighteen years. Bowser had no idea what he said to them, as none of the Koopalings wanted to talk about it with him. However, he did remember the looks of sadness and heartbreak that had been on all of their faces the next day. Remembering this detail garnered a grunt from the great Koopa King.

"You're still upset about that, huh?"

Iggy sighed. "I had informed Larry when he came to see me about it that I had moved on from it, that I had managed to let it go. Yet, upon introspection, I do not believe my words to be accurate. Some might even say that they were nothing more than bald faced lies."

Bowser nodded. "Ah. I can imagine that what your dad did ended up leaving some bruises."

Iggy sharply exhaled. "Of course it did! I mean, if the same thing happened to you, I would imagine you'd be upset too!"

Bowser laughed nervously. "Oh yeah, you know what it's like. When your biological dad does horrible things…" his voice trailed off, his heart sank. "Uh, you naturally get upset?"

Iggy stared at Bowser. His nose wrinkled up, his eyebrows scrunched up. "The way you said that indicates to me that you are unaware of what he did. Are you aware of what he did?"

Bowser froze. He opened his mouth, but no sound would come out. He tried to raise his finger, but once he did it, he realized that it would be stupid.

"Gonna be honest here...not really."

Iggy gawked. "Seriously? How can you be so unaware of something so important to your children?"

"You watch your mouth, young man," said Bowser sternly. "I just so happen to be a very busy Koopa, running a Kingdom and all that jazz. I don't have nearly enough hours in the day to think about every little detail that my children have told me." Bowser chuckled and rubbed his forearm. "Plus, nobody ever actually told me what happened, so I assumed no one wanted to talk about it."

Iggy's eyebrows smoothed out, but only a little. "Well, it is true that nobody wanted to talk about it. What Jasper Starfold did to us was beyond deplorable." He gagged. "Just the thought that I am related by blood to such a psychotic monster makes me sick."

Bowser chuckled. "Oh come on! If I spent a good majority of my free time kidnapping Princesses for the last ten years, then surely Jasper can't be that bad!"

A sad look appeared in Iggy's eyes. "He threw our eggs into the Rio Shroom because he was afraid of being a dad."

"Oh," said Bowser. A silence entered the room as those words beat down into his skull. "Yeah, that's pretty bad."

"Of course it is bad," said Iggy. "It is downright heinous! Even if you are afraid at the possibility of being a father, that does not mean you should resort to murder! Jasper should have actually taken the time to consider and discuss the options! Like adoption, for example. Obviously, that has worked out well for me and my siblings."

Bowser smiled. "That it has. And I am so glad that it did." The smile fell from his face. "So, wait, your dad tried to kill you guys?" When Iggy nodded, Bowser's jaw dropped. "That's unbelievable! It's bad enough when Mario tries to kill you guys, but for your own father to do it!" Bowser clenched his fist and grit his teeth. "Oh man, if I ever see that Koopa's face, I'll make sure that he suffers a fate worse than death!"

Iggy shook his head. "Doing that will not erase his sins, Bowser, as cathartic as it may be." He sighed as a far away look appeared in his eyes. "Logically, I recognize that things ultimately worked out for the better. I mean, I would not be in a position of royalty had this not happened. Nor would I be talking to you at this very moment. But emotionally, I feel as if it is unfair." Iggy sniffled. "And to think about the impact it had on Larry. When Jasper told him about this, he was only eleven. I fear that he was not emotionally mature enough to fully come to grips with the atrocities that were told to him. But really, I am one to talk when it comes to that subject."

"Oh come on, don't say that!" Bowser said. He took a seat down on the bed, causing it to creak under his weight. "There is nothing wrong with being upset over this, Iggy. Anybody would react the way you are reacting if they found out that their father tried to kill them." He squinted his eyebrows, his mood growing angrier and angrier. "Man, just saying that makes me want to spit on...what did you say your dad's name was?"

"Jasper Starfold?"

"Yes, thank you. I want to spit on Jasper Starfold's grave now." Bowser gripped his hands into fists. "Man, he is just a pathetic excuse for a Koopa Kingdom citizen, wanting to kill his children." Bowser's eyebrow twitched. "Oh, great, now I'm twitching. I think that goes to show how bad this person is. If he thinks he can get away with the attempted murder of not one, not two, but seven koopas, then he needs a severe reality check."

"Bowser?"

"Oh ho ho, I'll make sure to give him a reality check. I'll make sure that he never sees the light of day again. I'll make it so that feels the full extent of my wrath. Mwa ha ha, mwa ha ha, MWA HA HA HA HA!"

Iggy pulled his feet up into the chair, making it so that they no longer touched the ground. He stared at Bowser with concern. "Bowser, you are frightening me."

That was the first time that Bowser realized that he had raised his hands when he was doing the maniacal laugh. He lowered them and chuckled.

"Sorry, Iggy. I guess that was just left over from my own days of villainy."

Iggy slowly nodded. "O...kay." He cleared his throat and got back into a normal sitting position. "Well, anyway, thank you for dedicating the time to listening to my plight." Iggy rose out of the chair. "I will...go join my siblings for breakfast now."

"What? Oh come on! I mean, just because I have a little crazy monologue and laugh maniacally on impulse doesn't mean that you have to be scared… actually, now that I say it out loud, it does sound pretty bad." He chuckled. "Uh, you go have a nice breakfast, Iggy."

Iggy nodded and hastily made his way out of the bedroom.