Plot summary: Carlisle is still Rosalie, Emmett is still overexcited, and a visit from Charlie really isn't what the Cullens need right now.
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Warnings: Existential despair?
Carlisle focuses on the fibres of his pants where they stretch over his (Rosalie's?) knees and tries not to rock back and forth like he's losing his mind. He tries to look on the bright side. At least now they know what Edward and Alice were being so secretive about. Hopefully.
"I don't suppose I'm going to suddenly develop any more new abilities?" Carlisle asks Alice pointedly, somewhat put out that she and Edward didn't warn him.
"No, not that I can see." She replies innocently.
"And why didn't you warn me about this one?"
"Ah." Edward says delicately. "You wouldn't have reacted well."
"I broke the door!" Carlisle exclaims, wondering what could constitute a worse reaction than that.
"But the house is still standing." Alice points out cheerfully. Carlisle stares at her in horror and her face grows slightly more serious. "Best try not to get upset."
An additional wave of Jasper's artificial calm washes over him and he does his best to lean into it. It doesn't help that across the room Emmett is still grinning like a child on Christmas morning.
"You can move things," He bursts out, apparently unable to supress it anymore, "with your mind." Heavy emphasis is placed on the last word, like he thinks the rest of the family have somehow missed this thrilling development.
"And you're stuck as my clone, isn't that fun." Rosalie adds humourlessly. Her sarcasm is lost on Emmett, who nods eagerly.
"Try me next!" He demands impatiently. His mind is on how totally awesome it would be to wrestle with himself. Edward rolls his eyes.
"At least now we know you can hold more than one gift." Esme aims to be comforting, but even she seems to be missing the mark with it today. "That must mean something."
Ridiculously overpowered, Jasper is thinking, imagining the destruction a vampire with this ability could have wreaked in the new-born wars.
"Yes." Edward agrees with him out loud. "It's sort of ironic isn't it, though, because Carlisle's never going to do anything like that. Imagine what the Volturi would do if they knew-"
"Actually, I think I'd rather not imagine that." Carlisle interrupts weakly. For all that he still remembers Aro as a dear friend, he doesn't particularly want to be come one of the targets of his penchant for 'gift collecting'. He can just imagine a repeat of the worst moments of his first stay in Volterra, this time being confronted by gifted vampires to slay at every turn rather than bleeding human bodies. Alternatively, he can imagine how swiftly Caius might order his execution.
Alice's face goes blank as she is hit with another vision. When it passes, she and Edward quickly burst into action.
"Charlie is coming here." She announces. "Carlisle, you need to get out of the house. He wants to thank you for helping Jacob Black, but I don't see any way you manage to have a conversation with him without chaos erupting. Jazz, Emmett, and Rose can go out into the forest with you and work on control.
"Bella, since Charlie's impressed that Edward was out helping Carlisle at the Black's he's going to be open to letting you stay here another night if you play it right. Plus, he's just glad Edward doesn't ride a motorcycle. That's how he thinks Jacob was hurt. You should come sit by me and Edward go sit by Esme. Let Esme do most of the talking.
"He's only five minutes away. Must have been too close to the pack for me to see when he first decided to come. Oh, and Bella, you'd better hide that ring. You really don't want to have the engagement talk right now."
The family are quick to follow Alice's instructions, knowing better than to doubt her. Bella slips off the ring and puts it in her pocket, Esme beaming at her as she does so. Edward gives up his seat at her side to Alice and quickly fetches the miraculously unscathed ornament from its bed of glass, returning it to its rightful place.
"Emmett doesn't know his own strength sometimes." He states, giving Esme a meaningful look.
"Very true." She nods in agreement, squeezing Carlisle's hand for a final time before quickly moving to straighten out the rest of the room.
"Come on, babe, we get to be on the fun team!" Emmett calls to Rosalie, springing out onto the lawn through the now empty doorframe. He isn't at all bothered to be used as a scapegoat. Rosalie rolls her eyes but can't help her fondness for her exuberant mate shining through for everyone to see. Jasper briefly brushes his fingers against Alice's, then follows Emmett.
In the midst of them all, Carlisle remains perfectly still, bewildered golden eyes wide and unseeing.
"Come on, Carlisle. We're going to figure this out." Rosalie encourages him along, more gently than Bella has ever witnessed her do anything. She wonders if it's because Rosalie has a secret soft spot for her surrogate father or because she is moved by the unfamiliar vulnerability written across a carbon copy of her own face. It's probably a bit of both.
After a moment more of hesitation, Carlisle rises and follows her obediently. He is awkward wearing her unfamiliar form but still as naturally graceful as all of their kind. Part of Bella wishes he would trip, just to make her feel less clumsy in her humanness.
Still, it's reassuring to see a version of Rosalie looking less femme fatale and more uncomfortable teen, like she might once have genuinely been. It gives Bella hope that one day she too will give off Rosalie's aura of confident togetherness. Given time to grow used to her body and a sprinkling of vampiric poise, who wouldn't?
Rosalie and Rosalisle disappear into the tree line. Esme watches them go, then comes to sit at Edward's side, patting his knee. The movement is more for her own comfort than his, and he catches her hand, squeezing reassuringly.
"Rosalie will look after him." He tells her sincerely, putting aside his conflicted relationship with his sister for a moment. "She'll keep Emmett and Jasper's enthusiasm under control."
"Yes, yes, of course." Esme smiles at him, though not particularly convincingly. It doesn't help that he can hear her doubtful thoughts.
It's not that she doesn't trust them. She just knows how much Carlisle is already hurting, how absolutely sacred all life is to him and how much their actions today have cost him. These newfound gifts as a direct result of it are like a sick joke, rubbing salt into the wound.
She doesn't think the rest of them can appreciate it properly. They have all killed people before, whether they intended to or not. Even she herself finds the choice to kill in protection of her family an easy one.
He does not. He even finds the animals he hunts to survive a terrible waste of life. While Rosalie might have some luck at reigning in Emmett's desire to play with Carlisle's fun new abilities and Jasper's clinical appreciation of his potential as a weapon, the new-borns they killed that morning are already a distant memory for the three of them.
At best, they will remember that Carlisle is upset over the unnecessary death of Bree and the Volturi's pathetically late intervention. She doubts they will remember that to Carlisle this was betrayal from some of his oldest friends, not just a visit from the bogeymen of the vampiric world. Edward's fingers tighten around hers and she reins in her thoughts, focusing instead on the comforting beat of Bella's heart. They are a family, she reminds herself, and they are all lucky enough to have made it through the day. Whatever comes next, they will face it together.
"Charlie's turning onto the drive." Alice informs them and a second later the three vampires can hear the distant purr of the police cruiser.
"What's he thinking?" Bella asks Edward curiously. Edward frowns.
"It's difficult to say. Charlie's mind is still very… murky, to me. He's thinking about you, glad you're safe, I think. Hoping you aren't too upset about Jacob. He's glad you're with Alice, she's such a nice girl." He adds with an irritated glance at his sister at the end. If only the chief thought as much about him. Alice beams.
"I am, aren't I." She laughs, then grasps one of Bella's hands in both of her own and begins dramatically: "Oh Bella, don't fret, all will be well. Trust me, I can see your future." She finishes with a playful wink and is rewarded when Bella laughs in return.
"I do hope Jake will be ok." Bella says more seriously, face falling into a frown. "I'm going to have to talk to him about my future. He isn't going to be happy."
The vampires all mean to reassure her, but Charlie reaches the house at that moment and they turn expectantly, waiting for his knock on the door. When it comes, Esme rises slowly, careful to walk through the house at a human pace.
"Chief Swan, good afternoon!" She greets him as she opens the door, schooling her face into a mask of surprise.
"Mrs Cullen." Charlie gives her a nod of respect, the spitting image of his daughter as he shuffles awkwardly on the doorstep, forgetting to give the reason for his visit.
"Oh, please, it's Esme. Do come in. Bella is in the lounge" Esme replies graciously, gesturing him into the house with a dazzling smile. Blinking rapidly against her unnatural beauty, he follows her as if in a trance.
Spying his daughter sat by Alice, one of her hands still clutched between her friend's, Charlie's lips turn up. He attempts a comforting smile, though like all expressions of emotion for him it's a little awkward.
"Bells," he greets gruffly, meaning to assure her that Jake will be fine, and this is just proof that motorcycles are dangerous toys even for those who know how to use them. Before he can get the words out, though, he notices the smashed door and glass strewn patio. He looks his daughter over with alarm, searching for any signs of a Bella-typical clumsy incident.
"Nothing to do with me, Char- Dad." She holds her hands up in a show of innocence, characteristically slipping over remembering to call him Dad, but otherwise being perfectly genuine.
"Yes, sorry about the glass. Our Emmett doesn't know his own strength sometimes." Esme says smoothly, with a perfect exasperated mom smile. Charlie believes it immediately, easily imagining that the strapping 6'5" teen must break quite a few things as he gets to grips with his pure size.
"Do you need help to clean up?" He offers politely.
"It's kind of you to offer, but that's a task for Emmett and Jasper when they finish their time-outs." Esme says, returning to her seat beside Edward and gesturing for Charlie to use any chair he likes. Charlie buys into the narrative completely, as impressed as ever that this wonderful young couple keep five teenagers in order. "Can I get you a drink?" Esme adds with another winning smile.
"No, thank you, ma'am, but I'm actually still on duty and need to get going soon." He replies, shuffling in place but not taking a seat. "Just checking Bells is ok about Jake and hoping to thank Dr Cullen."
"I'm fine, Dad, and Carlisle says Jake'll be better in no time. Apparently, it wasn't as bad as it seemed at first. Nothing internal and just a few clean breaks that should heal perfectly." Bella says, her worry over the things she still has to discuss with him giving her enough visible distress to satisfy Charlie's inspection.
"I'm afraid you just missed Carlisle. He headed out for a walk and he could be gone quite a while." Esme takes over again. "I can try his cell, but we don't always get great service out here."
Charlie frowns slightly at this. "He's out in the woods alone? I don't mean to alarm you, but we still haven't found whatever's responsible for those animal attacks. Best be careful right now, and I'd advise you cover that door before nightfall."
"Yes, sir. We always carry whistles and hunting knives and there's wood to block the door. We're very careful, sir." Edward answers, naming some things he hopes it's normal for humans to do for safety. Apparently it's enough to satisfy Charlie.
"Are you coming home soon, Bells?" He asks his daughter.
"Actually, would you mind if I stayed here again tonight?" Bella says with wide eyes, Alice's hands clutched around hers once more.
Charlie glances over at Edward, who is sitting demurely by his mother, the picture of innocence. He is the golden boy who has just helped his father save a boy despite his personal dislike. Against his brothers who have just broken a door, he looks even better. Today, Edward Cullen is above reproach. Anyway, with both his parents in the house and his sister clearly staking a claim on Bella's time, what's the worst that can happen?
"As long as it's ok with Esme." He concedes.
"Of course, Bella is always welcome with us!" Esme is quick to agree. Then, to gain extra human points, adds with a smile: "And since we have a guest, we can have pizza." Charlie chuckles and nods along, charmed. With quick goodbyes, he happily lets Esme show him out.
"Thank you for coming by, Chief. I'll let Carlisle know you were here. He'll be sorry to have missed you." Esme assures him. He nods and mumbles a reply, then strides purposefully out towards the police cruiser. Esme waits in the open door with a hand raised in farewell until he climbs into the car, then closes it and allows herself to sigh in relief.
"Well," She says, returning to the lounge at full vampire pace, "I think that went very well." She glances around with a smile, but Alice's face is blank as a vision presents itself and Edward is equally focused on her mind.
Two sets of golden eyes widen in shock and a nanosecond later there is an almighty crash that even Bella's human ears can hear. She is frozen for a second, then shoots to her feet, a cry ripping from her lips.
"Charlie!"
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