Chapter 3

A nurse showed them to Rock's hospital room. The hospital had undergone some upgrades since the end of the Triad/Ivan War. It had added a floor of luxury rooms, each of which was accessible by two sliding glass doors so large that an entire bed could be rolled out of them if needed. For privacy, they had retractable blinds.

"He was given morphine after surgery," the nurse said, "he may not be entirely responsive."

"Good to know," Dutch answered. Revy silently fumed.

They approached a room marked 539A.

"This is it," she said.

Before she could reach the sliding glass door, Revy sprinted forward and opened it with a crash. Lotton, who had been nearly dozing off in a chair in front of Rock's bed, fell to the floor in shock.

Revy took one look at Rock, who didn't appear awake in the low light and then rounded on Lotton. Seizing him by the front of his coat, she hauled him to his feet.

"Five shots?!" she bellowed. Dutch hurried in behind her.

Revy drew back her fist to smash Lotton's face in. Dutch grabbed her and dragged her off of him, but he couldn't stop her yelling.

"Five fucking shots!" she spat again. Her eyes were wild with fury. Lotton backed away terrified. "Did ya try to cast a spell for him wizard? Maybe we should've hired the fucking Italians to watch his ass for all the good ya did! You're lucky I don't have my Cutlasses on me, or I'd put five shots right in your ass!"

While Revy kept sounding off, Dutch looked over at Rock. He was moving slightly and pointing at Revy with his hand.

"The bastard got off five shots before you got off one?! Fuck you!"

"Revy," Dutch tried to call her attention.

"And don't get me started on the shit-for-brains you hired! Three dumb asses against one Russian! What the fuck?!"

The nurse was backing away slowly. One more second of this, and she was calling security.

"Revy!" Dutch yelled.

"What?!" Revy yelled back.

"Rock wants you."

Revy stopped struggling. Her eyes went wide, and her mouth fell open. She looked over at Rock, who she now realized was moving. Dutch released her, and she knelt by Rock's bedside.

"Rock?" she asked, much more gently, "Rock, baby, what is it?"

Rock whispered something too quiet for her to hear.

Turning her head to the left, she put her ear by Rock's lips.

"Please stop yelling."

Revy jumped back, startled. Even in a near whisper, his tone was unexpected. It was firm, hard, even in a whisper, even with the "please." She drew back, surprised.

"The nurse said you were drugged," Dutch said.

"That was hours ago," Rock answered. His voice was weakened but clearly audible, "I was asleep. It's night. I've had surgery. I was tired."

Rock looked at Revy, and it wasn't with his usual kindness or softness. His look wasn't cruel, but it was as solid as his tone.

"Lotton saved my life," he said.

"Huh?" Revy asked.

"He has been with me since you and Dutch chose to leave my employ all that time ago," Rock continued, "He suggested I wear the flak jacket as an extra safety precaution, and insisted on it when I forgot. He killed my assassin. Had he not done any of that right now, I would be dead. The city I love could be on the verge of another war in a month, and the woman I love might well be called on to fight, and die, in it again."

Lotton swelled with pride. Revy gaped at Rock. It was like they were back in the market the day she'd tried to kill him. He'd stood up to her then, refusing to apologize for questioning her actions, and he was standing up to her now. Even in his weakened state, he seemed powerful. Moreover, he had just used the big "L" word when referring to her in front of people they knew. She clenched her fists in indignation.

"He let you get shot five fucking times," Revy responded.

Rock closed his eyes momentarily and nodded.

"No level of protection is ever going to be perfect. He's not you after all. Every day I live in this city I have to accept that risk. But I'm alive today because of him. And he deserves credit for that, as do you, for all the other times," he added, bowing his head slightly to her.

Revy stared at Rock for a moment, and Rock looked pointedly from her to Lotton and back. An awkward silence passed. Then, Rock turned back to Lotton.

"Lotton, thank you for saving my life," he said.

Lotten placed his right hand on his chest, extended his left with a flourish, and bowed. Revy rolled her eyes and looked at Rock. She was still a bit pissed, but she had more important things to talk to him about right now.

"You feelin' ok?" she asked him.

"Yeah," Rock sighed, "hurts on my left, but I'll be ok."

"How long you gotta stay here?"

"They say I can leave tomorrow, but I won't be able to function completely on my own for about two more weeks."

"Remember anything?" Dutch asked.

"Just someone yelling, 'Hello' in Russian, a lot of pain on my left side, and falling," Rock answered. "Then I was out. The next thing I remember was waking up here."

"We already recounted all our information to the police," Lotton chimed in, "The assassin used a stechkin pistol, modified for automatic fire. Hence why he was able to produce so many shots," he added pointedly to Revy, who glared back. "We brought him down as soon as possible. He had Russian identification in his pocket. We also observed a black sedan driving away from the scene, but we couldn't get a closer look."

Revy nodded and looked back at Rock.

"Who did it?" she asked.

Rock shrugged.

"No idea."

He looked at the nurse, still hovering in the doorway.

"Pardon me, nurse. Can we get some time alone?"

The nurse looked nervously at Revy, then nodded and left. Rock looked at Revy.

"At this point, I'm convinced that Hotel Moscow wasn't involved," he continued. "Nothing about how this was done points to them. One gunman against three is almost always a suicide mission, and that's not how they operate." Dutch nodded in agreement, "And if they wanted to hire a disposable outsider to do it, they'd pick someone without any connections to them. His body is still in the morgue. I've asked for a full autopsy. In truth though, I think whoever hired him did so exactly, because he was Russian and because everyone would assume he was one of Balalaika's. I think someone was trying to take me out and pin it on Hotel Moscow. What I don't know yet is who or why."

"Trying to cover their tracks maybe?" Dutch suggested, "Weaken Hotel Moscow somehow?"

"Maybe," Rock answered, "I just don't see how my death would weaken them. At least not any more or less than the other factions."

"Except yours," Dutch pointed out.

Rock froze for a moment. He hadn't considered this.

"Except mine," he agreed.

Rock looked at Revy. The expression on her face meant she was burning to say something, and Rock could guess what.

"Dutch? Lotton? Would you excuse us for a minute?" he asked.

Dutch and Lotton both sidled out of the room.

"Dutch," Rock called out.

Dutch stopped before exiting completely.

"Could you draw the blinds in front of the door before you go?"

Dutch drew the blinds in front of the double glass doors. When he left, Rock and Revy would be hidden from view.

"Thank you."

Dutch nodded and left. Rock turned back to Revy, who was still glaring at him.

"So," Rock asked her, "you read the letter?"

It took every ounce of self-restraint Revy possessed not to slug him in his stupid mouth. She contended herself with drawing the envelope and smacking him with it across his chest as hard as she could. Rock winced.

"The fuck were you thinking?" she barked, shaking it in his face. "You think I wanna be thinkin' about that shit when I'm on a job?! You think I can have that on my mind between shots?! And what's all this about the shit you want? Breakfast every Friday, dinner every Saturday?! Rock, what the fuck is this?!" she demanded, brandishing the letter in his face.

Rock let her talk herself into silence before answering calmly.

"It's a love letter," he answered simply.

She looked disgusted. Rock elaborated.

"I had things I wanted to say to you that I couldn't when we were together. When should I have given it to you, Revy?" he asked. "I wanted to give it to you at the fair but you got called away. You were going to be gone for days. I wasn't willing to wait that long," he paused, looking up at her.

"You remember the night that Chang came to get you? To call you to fight in the war with the Ivans?"

Revy nodded.

"I wanted to go after you. Benny stopped me, and I almost hit him. Dutch punched me in the stomach and let me calm down. When I came around, he said that I was Hamlet. The longer I took to make up my mind about you, the more bodies would pile up. And he was right. In all that time we'd been together before, I had no idea how important you were becoming to me. I took you for granted." At that last word, Rock lowered his gaze and shook his head in apparent self-disgust and then fixed his eyes to hers again. "It took the shock of the chance of losing you forever to wake me up and realize that the thought of losing you drives me insane."

He paused and took a breath. Revy didn't know what to say, so she said nothing.

"But I know what I want now, Revy," he continued more quietly, "I want a long, happy life with you. That's why I wrote that letter," he pointed. "That's why I couldn't wait any more to give it to you. And the question I have for you now is, 'what do you want from me?'"

Revy stared at him. Thinking hard didn't really suit her. She couldn't answer that question to herself, and she certainly couldn't for Rock. She deflected.

"Why me god damn it?" she asked, exasperated.

Rock looked pointedly at the letter.

"I'm the bullet. You're the gun," he recalled from one of their earlier conversations. "You woke me up from my old life. You saved my life god knows how many times. You've backed me on too many idiotic schemes to count. I'm grateful to you," he paused here thinking, "Every time I see you I feel a rush of energy that I could never have experienced without you."

She weighed his words for a moment and sighed. Then she took the letter out of its envelope and glanced at the bottom paragraph.

"What do you mean by you want to know my, 'life story?'" she asked.

Rock shrugged.

"You know almost everything about my past at this point," he answered. "But I know almost nothing about yours. I want to know it Revy," he looked at her sincerely. "You've told me a few things but not a lot of detail. I guess I just feel a little bit in the dark."

Revy regarded him imperiously for a moment and then sighed, turning for the door.

"I'm going for a smoke," she growled. She couldn't deal with his crap right now.

"Revy," Rock called. She turned back to him, "I love you."

Revy ignored him and continued out the door.

Out in the parking lot, Revy lit up a cigarette and took a deep drag. She wished she had some liquor. Her head hurt. What did she want from him? A safe place to sleep, food, rum, and sex whenever she wanted sounded fine. What else was there? She'd long held to the belief that love was just sentimental bullshit that Hollywood used to sell bad movies. She had no idea what it even looked or god-forbid felt like. She supposed she gave Rock credit for sticking around as long as he had. She'd never had a man who cooked for her before or made her go off so hard in the sack. She supposed there was no denying that she liked being around him. Their first night together she'd gone to him intending to scare him off, and ended up in bed with him. Best lay she'd had in a while. The second time she'd gone to him she'd wrecked his room when she thought he was rejecting her and still ended up fucking him. After rejoining Lagoon, she had missed him. The first few jobs had just seemed unnatural without him there, even though she and Dutch had been working together long before Rock had shown up.

She hadn't enjoyed being his bodyguard after the war. Damn boring, that was. She'd missed the freedom of the sea. However, in the time she had rejoined Lagoon, she had also looked forward to seeing him in his apartment when she got home. Hell, the very fact that she thought of his apartment as "home" was something. She even had her own gym there now. So what did she want from him? She didn't know. But she supposed keeping things going the way they were would be fine.

Did she trust him? She didn't think he'd blow her through the door of his apartment with a shotgun the second she walked in if that's what he meant. Or try to fuck her if she didn't want to.

And he wanted to know her life story? Bullshit. She herself didn't want to know her life story. Besides, it was useless to think about the past. She actively avoided reminiscing. There was nothing good there. If he learned what had happened to her and what she had done, he'd run from her as fast as he could.

She stopped herself there though, as doubts crept into her mind.

But hadn't he seen her kill plenty of guys? He hadn't run yet. Hadn't he sat alone with one of the twins? He'd stormed out of the room, but still acknowledged her kindly before she got her twisted brains blown out. Maybe that was what he meant by 'trust.' To trust him enough to tell him all that and trust that he wouldn't bitch-out. Did she think he'd run if she told him the worst thing that had happened to her and the worst thing she had done? She didn't know, and that lack of knowledge was eroding her confidence. Confidence was one thing she didn't normally lack. Finding herself without it was disconcerting.

Her cigarette was reduced to a stub. She was about to butt it out when another thought crossed her mind.

If she did tell him about her life, would he tell others?

She thought about it for a second then shook her head. He hadn't given up anything to those terrorists in the Philippines when they'd captured him, and he hadn't told Dutch or Benny about that time she'd played in the park with those kids. She knew she could trust him to keep a secret.

She dropped her cigarette butt to the ground and stamped it out, turning back to the hospital. There was only one person who could answer her remaining question, and she needed to talk to him. First, though, she wanted some perspective.

She found Benny, Lotton, and Dutch sitting outside of Rock's room. Revy supposed Benny had parked the car. They fell silent as she approached.

"I miss anything?" she asked.

"Nope," Dutch answered. "We were just discussing what we'd do tonight. Can't leave him alone."

"I've got another guard coming," Lotton said. "He should arrive in about thirty minutes. After that I'll retire to my apartment."

Revy nodded. "I'm staying too. Hey, Dutch?"

Dutch looked up at her.

"Got a minute?"

He nodded and stood up. They walked to the end of the hall and turned a corner. Benny and Lotton looked cluelessly at each other.

Revy didn't think that Rock would want her showing the letter to anyone. However, all of this was completely uncharted territory for her. Dutch was the only other person she even remotely trusted. He was the only one who she had told of Rock's love confession after the confrontation in Chang's office. Plus, he was a guy, so maybe he had some insight.

They sat at a table just around the corner. Revy drew the letter from her pocket.

"No blabbin' this to anyone," she warned Dutch. Had he been anyone else she might have issued a threat, but Dutch was also her employer.

He nodded. She showed him the letter.

"Read this," she instructed.

Dutch took the letter from her. His brow was furrowed with curiosity over his round sunglasses.

As he read the letter a broad smile crossed his face. At several points, he awed and snorted with laughter. She raised an eyebrow in suspicion. Finally, he got to the end. He threw it down on the table between them.

"Motherfucker," he chuckled.

He looked at Revy.

"So… what?" he asked.

She nodded at the letter.

"Whaddaya think?" she repeated.

"What do I think?" Dutch repeated, a little incredulously. "Damn, Rev. I think he might like you a bit."

With that, Dutch couldn't contain himself any more. He exploded laughing. His deep, booming voice gave way to such sounds of mirth as he hadn't made in years. He stamped his foot on the ground and smashed his fist into the table. It took him several seconds to stop, by which point Revy had become more than a bit annoyed.

"I'm serious god damn it!" she said.

Dutch wheezed, gasping for air.

"Okay, okay. You want my take? This guy," he paused for a moment, choosing his words, "is insanely in love with you. Fuck me, but I haven't read something that romantic in years. Let's rehash a bit." He leaned back in his chair, thinking. "When you left with Chang last year, he tried to go after you. Suicidal and stupid, but he tried anyway. Later, he ended a war for you. Now? He lets you live with him, rent free, for months, even after you quit being his bodyguard. And he writes this," he pointed to the letter, "to you. Fuck me. I said he was Hamlet. I'd no idea he was Shakespeare."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Revy said impatiently. "So what do I do?"

Dutch stroked his dome with his hand. Since when was he the go to for romantic advice?

"Hell if I know. Do you like him back?" he asked.

Revy hesitated for a moment. She thought she knew the answer to that question. She just didn't want to admit it to Dutch. Eventually, Dutch ran out of patience.

"Okay, Rev," he said, leaning towards her in his chair, "I'm gonna ask you the same question I asked Rock last year. What does he mean to you? Because here's the thing," he lowered his voice. "Whoever tried to take him out will try again when they find out he's alive. I respect Rock for sticking up for his employee tonight. It's a mark of a solid leader. But he's right. Lotton isn't you. And no one he could hire will come close to your level."

"You tellin' me I should go, partner?" she asked, her heart sinking. "You sayin' I should be his bodyguard again?"

Dutch shook his head.

"Didn't say that. He needs about two weeks to recover. Think of it as a vacation. You stay with him and chill for a while. Make sure no one tries to cap him, and that he gets better. He can't go anywhere anyway. Meantime, we find whoever tried to kill him and kill them before they try again. Then, you come back and things keep on goin'.

Revy thought about it for a second and realized that chilling with Rock in his apartment for two weeks sounded blissful. They could order pizza whenever they wanted, and they had plenty of booze. She could work out whenever she felt like. And when Rock felt well enough, he could start cooking again. They could mess around in bed until they were sore. She could do and say what she wanted, and Rock would keep telling her all the warm, kind things she was secretly desperate to hear. It would be idyllic.

Her face cracked into a massive grin.

"Sounds good to me, bossman!" she said with a salute.

"Good," Dutch said. "Hell, a few more years, might be you in my chair."

Revy blinked.

"Wait, what?" she asked, dumbfounded.

Dutch smiled.

"I guess the secret's out now, Revy. Here's the deal, I turned fifty awhile ago. I like the setup we have here, and I want it to keep goin'. That's why I want Rock to get well again. Dunno if you've noticed, but things have gotten better in this town since he started pulling the strings. But, this is a young man's game, and I'm not getting any younger. I've made a nice little nest egg from my business here, and I wouldn't say no to an early retirement. That boat's probably gonna outlast me. And when the time comes, I was planning on putting it up for sale. If you're interested," he added, grinning cheekily, "I might be prepared to throw a little discount your way, for all the good times."

Revy frowned at the table. She wasn't sure how she felt about this. On the one hand, she liked working with Dutch. Him leaving felt like another good thing in her life turning away. The prospect of being the captain of the Lagoon was exciting, but she also knew it would mean a shit-ton more work and expense. She was a gunslinger. It was all she knew. Christ, how many hours did he put in working on that engine? Still, she wanted to know more.

"When and how much?" she asked.

Dutch noticed her lack of enthusiasm.

"Don't quite know yet," Dutch admitted. "But business has been good since the Triad dust up, and it could be as soon as two years from now. Unless something drastic changes," he looked at her pointedly. "Like one of this city's most prominent citizens getting killed, if you catch my drift."

"Yeah, I getcha boss," she said. "I'll stick with Rock. Hell, maybe I'll find out I do love him," she smirked half-heartedly.

Dutch smiled back.

"Well, either way, just stick it out with him for two weeks, and we'll go from there."

They walked back to Rock's room.

Rock's eyes were closed when Revy entered.

"Hey, baby," she whispered, "You awake?"

"Yeah," Rock muttered. "I kinda want to get back to sleep soon though. Bit tired."

"I'm staying here tonight. Got enough room?"

Rock looked at the mattress on either side of him.

"Yeah," he answered, "Gimme a sec."

With some effort, he scooted himself to one side of his mattress, closer to his monitors, leaving just enough room for Revy to lie on her side.

"This enough?" he asked.

Revy walked up to the bed.

"I've had less," she answered as she crawled in.

They drew the blanket over both of them. Revy suddenly remembered what she'd wanted to ask Rock about.

"Hey, Rock?" she asked, "If I tell you what you want 'bout my past, how do I know you won't punk out?"

Rock cracked an eye to look at her.

"Depends. How many times was I shot this week? Am I punking out now?"

If it had been any other guy, Revy would have rolled her eyes and told him to fuck himself. But this was Rock. She had known him for years. If he was the kind of guy to lie to get what he wanted, she'd have killed him long ago. And if he was the kind of guy to run from fear, he wouldn't be here right now and neither would she. She might live in a dark, blood-soaked world, but Rock was one of the few good things in it. He knew its rules, but played them well enough to remain just outside the darkness. As she looked into his eyes, every cynical angry voice in her head went silent. She couldn't help but believe him. She smiled.

"Alright," she said, "Alright. When we get back to your place, I'll tell ya. I'll give you the tragedy of Rebecca Li."

Rock beamed at her. And his smile was as warm and welcoming as ever.

She leaned forward and kissed him to sleep.