Bruce Banner was sitting at his desk and frowning on the computer. He was looking for a nice herbal shop in New York so he could visit it and buy some calming tea blends, scented candles and bath products - he never quite got the right thing when ordering online and preferred to smell them first in person to find out if both he and his green alter ego liked them.
And he could really use some calming stuff the last couple of days - not that living in the tower with others wasn't great, oh no, it was fantastic. Not only he and Tony became Science Bros often visiting each other in their labs and brainstorming their projects together, but the whole team really came together and became a family (if a bit peculiar one). There were movie nights and game nights and post battle feasts (Thor insisted) where they just chilled and got to know each other.
The Avengers were not really not at all liked they seemed when he first met them: Clint was the most immature one often found reading comics, playing games and stealing others' food, Thor was still growing as a person, certainly not ready to take on any ruling job, but he seemed to be happy on Earth even if half the time he was plotting how to find and again befriend his brother, Natasha was surprisingly fond of playing board games (though often incorporating vodka shots in them somehow) and taking the others to ballet, Steve started going to art evening classes under the cunning alias of 'Roger Stevens' and Tony was a total geek who loved to create stuff of all kinds and also a coffee addict.
Also, Tony did actually surprise all of them the last couple of months. Before, he had given them all Starkpads and had explained the StarkLibrary on it which contained thousands of digitized books ('Yes, comics too, Birdbrain.') and then had continued to be surprised when he had found the team still reading the paper versions just because they liked the feel of paper and the feeling of actually turning the page. But the last couple of months Tony started bringing actual books, both hardbacks and paperbacks. About every two weeks he came from somewhere content and smiling and bearing books gifts - though they didn't know from where because he never left a receipt or any other clue in them and seemed to be happy to have such a secret so even the spies in the team didn't pry further.
Bruce was very pleasantly surprised that Tony brought him a lot of Pratchetts because he loved the author and now he could actually start building his own book hoard, ehm, book collection.
So yes, living in the tower was great, but still. The last weeks only a couple of minor villains appeared so Hulk was not needed and was restless. There was some talk within the team that they could start letting Hulk out in a controlled environment and teaching him stuff but just the thought of it - of what could go wrong when Hulk didn't have any monster to smash made Bruce uneasy. But he kept thinking about it because yes, it would be probably good to stop running from dealing with him.
Hence the need to find a good herbal shop to quiet down his nerves and Hulk's restlessness.
But for some reason he was not finding what he was looking for - some shops looked iffy, some had the products that he wanted sold out and some- oh what was this?
Well, this one looked perfect. It was in Queens but fresh air would do Bruce good. He planned to get a lift there in one of the SI cars and then send it back to the tower - he will surely spend hours in the shop and he didn't want the driver to wait for him. After the purchase he could walk for a bit, yes. There. A perfect plan.
Humming happily he called the car and let himself be taken to Queens not far from the shop's address.
As he walked on the street he saw the shop sign and- an uneasy feeling developed in his stomach as he saw that the lights were out and the shop seemed to be closed.
He came closer.
The shop was closed.
And Bruce was... angry.
Really, couldn't they put it on their website that the shop was closed until further notice? So poor unsuspecting Avengers with serious anger management issues wouldn't travel here and then had to fight urges to transform and remodel Queens?
But noo, those self-important turnips just… hmpf!
Bruce concentrated on his breathing and did his best not to become green.
He put his hand into his pocket to take out the phone and call the driver back and found… nothing.
No phone in the pocket.
Or any of the other ones.
Either he had left it in the car or had been pickpocketed in the last eight minutes.
Okay, more breathing.
And more breathing.
Finally he turned around and started walking back by foot - perhaps a nice long walk would calm him down.
During the walk he did his best to stay calm and concentrate on his breathing until something caught his eye.
Ohh, it seemed to be a bookshop. Quite a popular one judging by the huddles of smiling people who loitered outside and kept taking selfies with the bookshop.
The name of it was Angel&Serpent which wasn't familiar to Bruce but the logo… yes, he saw that logo somewhere. But where?
The scientist stopped his walk and focused on the logo, trying to visualize it in various sizes and angles.
Oh! He had it!
He saw the logo on a shopping bag in Tony's lab one day.
His curiosity piqued, Bruce decided to explore the bookshop.
Whatever he expected when he saw the people outside and knowing Tony was here, this was not it. He expected something modern and futuristic. This… this was quite the opposite.
It was not quite the Victorian-like but it would not take much to make it so. It was a cosy bookshop full of wooden bookcases and comfortable armchairs and sofas, most of them occupied with people reading.
There were two cashier desks and two queues to them.
He just noticed that an armchair near one cashier desk just got vacated and he headed there so he could sit down and relax for a bit.
And as he got closer to the armchair - and the cashier desk - a bigger and bigger sense of calm was coming over him.
As he sat down he actually felt pretty great - Hulk was not restless at all but at peace! As was Bruce! It was as if a great weight was lifted and replaced with a warm blanket of content. He let out a happy sigh.
Bruce blinked slowly and basked in the feeling. Was this the reason the bookshop was so full?
He basked some more and then started observing what was in front of him.
Yes, there were two queues, two cashiers and two booksellers. And they… couldn't be more different, dear god, their cashier desk couldn't be more different!
The one farther from him was a black desk with painted flames and sharp edges, the top of the desk had a snake skin pattern. The bookseller was a tall, skinny redhead with a tattoo on the side of his face wearing sunglasses, tight black edgy clothes and pretty much scowling at the customers.
The one closer to him was a light blue desk with painted clouds. The bookseller was a plump blond with a beaming smile, wearing old soft light coloured clothes, a bowtie, and happily chatting with the customers.
Oh, Bruce realized, Angel&Serpent. There could not be any mistake who was what.
He jolted a little bit as suddenly Hulk's voice sounded in his head, 'SOFT MAN, SNAKE MAN!'
Bruce blinked.
'SOFT MAN NICE! SNAKE MAN... NICE TOO!'
After that Hulk became quiet again and Bruce mulled it over - Hulk usually didn't talk to him, only sometimes before battles or when with the team. This was… interesting.
The scientist kept watching the peculiar duo. It seemed that while they were very different, as were they selling techniques ('Oh hello, lovely of you to visit the Angel&Serpent! How has your day been so far, dear?' vs. the redhead scowling and waiting for the customer to pay and leave) the queues were pretty much the same length. Also it seemed that people had their own opinions which bookseller they wanted as their cashier.
Bruce comfortably wiggled and relaxed in the chair as he watched the sellers sell book after book.
Slowly he found out that the redheat was not all scowl - if someone anxious was in the queue then he softened a bit, relaxed his face and smiled and even encouraged or complimented the person. Similarly the Avenger found out that the blond was not all smiles - if someone was rude then he frowned and had no problem to give them a stern talking to.
Huh.
And then came The Discovery.
The cashiers were standing next to each other with a little desk between them and on the desk there a basket with home baked goods. Apparently for each book you bought you could take one baked goodie - currently chocolate chip cookies.
Pretty much everyone took one and also often the blond bookseller dropped a hand there and then munched on the cookies.
And then the cookies were gone and the blond went somewhere to refill the basket.
Someone said, 'Oh man! I just paid! Are they bringing something new? If so I must buy something else to taste it!', but Bruce only half noticed - because what he mainly and strongly noticed was that with the blond man also left the calm.
The blond man was the calm!
Before Hulk could protest the bookseller came back and the calm returned (he also brought a basket full of gingerbreads in shapes of angels and snakes and the person who previously spoke indeed took another book from the shelf and went back to the queue).
Well, wasn't that interesting! As Bruce pondered about that, he kept watching the somehow fascinating process of bookselling for a while. Then he closed his eyes and let the hum of the bookshop wash over him, just concentrating on being happy and comfortable and relaxing more and more...
Bruce woke up.
He blinked as it took a moment to realize where he was. He was in the bookshops with the blond that could calm Hulk and… wait, where were the customers?
Oh.
As he looked at his surroundings he found out several things: that he must have slept several hours because the bookshop was already closed, that someone put a cushion behind his head so he would not have a neck pain when waking up, and that the two booksellers were occupying the nearby sofa.
The blond was sitting on the sofa reading a book and on his lap was the head of the redhead who was laying on the sofa and just enjoying the blond's hand in his red locks.
Suddenly the redhead, who still wore his sunglasses, moved his head and looked at Bruce.
"He's up, angel."
Bruce stammered, "Oh god, I'm so sorry-"
"Nonsense, my dear boy!" said the blonde smiling. "You seemed like in a desperate need of a proper nap so we let you sleep. Now, let's go have dinner," he gently started pushing the redhead's head from his lap so he could get up.
The redhead didn't like it much, looking like an offended cat and hissed softly. The blonde only smiled, "Come on, you lazy serpent."
The redhead sighed but obligingly sat on the sofa and stretched his long limbs.
He looked at Bruce, "You're in for a treat, Aziraphale's lasagna are… divine," he chuckled, showing his sharp teeth.
Oh, they meant him too to dine with them, "I already imposed too much, if you just let me out..."
"No, no, please indulge us," said the blond with a soft smile and Bruce couldn't refuse.
He followed them to a door behind which there should be a staircase to the first floor and then watched in confusion as they looked for the key - they should know where it should be right? It wasn't if they in the morning just hopped down through the large opening in the ceiling at the ground floor which showed their personal bookshelves on the first floor.
It took some time but then the blond said, "Aha! Found it," looking very pleased with himself. The redhead just looked resigned. Perhaps this happened often?
After climbing the stairs Bruce found a nice and cosy apartment.
As they walked through the living room he noticed that the TV was on. But there wasn't… wait, was there a rat on the couch? A rat wearing a tartan bow tie and having a red tuft of hair on his head?
Bruce blinked and looked from one bookseller wearing a tartan bow tie with the same pattern to the other bookseller with his red hair and then back to the rat.
"Oh, that's Attouile," said the redhead when he noticed that Bruce stopped, "he wears Aziraphale's tartan and recently he insisted that we colour the top of his head the same colour as my hair," he explained proudly.
Attouile, Bruce repeated in his head and then both smiled and inwardly groaned as he realized that it was "rat Attouille". This was exactly the sense of humour that Tony would have loved.
The rat squeaked.
"He says, 'Nice to meet you'."
"Uhm, nice to meet you too…?"
The rat nodded at him and went back to watching Gordon Ramsay who was frowning at some elaborate dish.
Bruce blinked and continued following the redhead to the kitchen where the blonde had already put the prepared lasagna to the oven, "Sit down, my dear boy, and tell us about yourself."
"Uhm, I'm Bruce-"
"Oh my goodness, where are my manners! We completely forgot to introduce ourselves, Crowley!"
'Crowley' shrugged. Apparently he was the 'bad boy' here.
"Forgive us, please," continued the blonde, "nice to meet you, Bruce. I am Aziraphale and this is my beloved, Crowley."
The 'bad boy' blushed and did his best not to smile.
They sat down and Bruce refused the wine saying that he didn't drink alcohol because bad things could happen when he lost inhibitions and was now sipping a perfect cup of herbal tea.
"So, you are a scientist?" asked Aziraphale when Bruce told him about his research. He left out the Avengers and Hulk because it would be nice to have a normal conversation outside of it.
"Yes," nodded Bruce and took a sip again, he must ask Aziraphale where he got this tea, it was amazing.
"Oh, and were the last weeks quite demanding? Mind you, my dear boy, I am not judging, I myself can lost myself in a research when I find a good book or problem (Crowley snorted at that and muttered, 'What an understatement.'), but you are the first customer that managed to fall asleep in our shop," finished Aziraphale ignoring Crowley's remark.
"Uhm… the last few weeks I was a little bit more stressed than usual, but… I mean… has anyone ever told you that you have a really calming aura around you?"
Crowley behind his sunglasses raised his eyebrow, "You must be very perceptive to such things, but yes, my angel - especially when he's happy - can have that effect."
Bruce nodded and vowed himself not to say anything about those two to the other Avengers because he didn't want SHIELD to focus on them, they seemed very nice.
"Well, you can drop in whenever you need, dear boy," beamed Aziraphale, "but about your stress - have you tried to take on a hobby? I myself joined a knitting club a couple of months ago and am now working on the most magnificent black and red scarf for Crowley (Crowley blushed a little bit again). You know, find something like that - doing something with your hands to rest your head from all the research?"
"I'm not sure that I could..."
"I know, I know, it's difficult to start something new - for example I've been trying to invite Crowley there with me to try it but keeps changing the topic whenever I start about it, the wily serpent," Aziraphale looked at his companion and sent him a little reproachful look.
Crowley grinned and then, as if an idea occurred to him, said, "Why don't you take Bruce with you?"
Bruce blikend, "Uhm..."
Aziraphale narrowed his eyes slightly, but at the same time they were twinkling knowingly, "My dear, have you just sacrificed this poor man, volunteering him instead of you?"
"...maybe?"
Aziraphale fondly sighed, "Well, my cunning adversary, you win once again..."
"Yesssss!"
"...but also will be doing the dishes tonight."
"Satandammit!"
They smiled at each other telling Bruce that they have quite an experience with such banter.
Aziraphale then turned to Bruce, "Our knitting club is usually on Friday night, so you have two days to get the necessary equipment, or you can borrow it from me. Also we have an unwritten rule that everyone brings something to nibble on, can you cook, my dear - and especially anything interesting?"
"Uh, I learned some dishes when travelling through south-east Asia, but-"
"Splendid! We do love to taste new food and I don't think we had many from that area! So could you meet me here at the bookshop at 7 on Friday?"
"I..." Bruce was about to say that he really couldn't do it, citing either too much work or coming clean about who he was and explaining that he often didn't feel safe around people and that they would not want him there, but then he looked into Aziraphale's sincere and hopeful face and found himself saying, "... would be happy to."
Crowley gave him a knowing look.
"Marvellous! Now, we must exchange telephone numbers. A friend of ours who visit us twice a month persuaded me - he can be quite persuasive that one - to start using one of these 'mobile phones', and, I admit, I was sceptical at first, but now I can't imagine being without it," Aziraphale pulled out a brand new StarkPhone from his victorian waistcoat (and wasn't that a weird sight), carefully held it in front of him and with a deep concentration raised a finger and touched a screen a few times. "Look what it can do, I can send Crowley these cute little pictures, that are called… emo jinn?"
"Emoji, angel."
"Quite so."
Bruce looked at the screen which was full of emojis:
[see: cutt*DOT*ly/BcbkmM8 (replace *DOT* with a dot)
[description: A mobile text conversation between Aziraphale and Crowley:
A: 😇🐍🎭* 🐍🙌******** (*=a person emoji)
C: Hamlet?
A: 👍❤ 🐍😊
C: still prefer the funny ones 😉
A:👀🎭*👍😉 (*=a dagger emoji)
C: you know you can also use normal text, right?
A: But it's not as fun! 😊😊😊
C: 😩... 😉💗
A: 💗* (*=covered in hearts emoji)]
"Isn't it just marvellous? I also can take photos with it!"
Bruce tried no to smile too much, "Also watching cat videos?"
"Oh, what are those?"
Crowley startled and started shaking his head. Then he said quickly, "Justvideoscontainingcats, so Bruce, what is your number?"
On Friday night Bruce arrived at the bookshop with 'necessary knitting equipment' that Aziraphale texted him and the fish amok dish he had learned in Cambodia. He truly didn't know how it happened that he was apparently going along with trying this hobby - the last two days he found himself considering cancelling several times in fear of what Hulk could do to the knitting club if stressed, but his green friend seemed to have quite the opposite point of view - threatening to come out if Bruce didn't go with the 'SOFT MAN' to 'NITCLUB'.
So here he was being warmly greeted by Aziraphale and waved at by Crowley and also Atouille who was standing on Crowley's shoulder.
"So happy you came, my dear boy. Have you thought about what will be your first project?"
"Uhm, I thought that first I would try to learn the techniques and patterns?"
"Of course, of course, but it's nice to have a goal in mind," smiled Aziraphale.
'GREEN SCARF FOR HULK!' appeared in Bruce's mind.
"A big green scarf," said the scientist and imagined Hulk being bundled in a scarf (a very big scarf).
"Marvellous! Now, Crowley, will you hold the fort while we're out?"
"Angel, the bookshop is closed, it doesn't require much 'holding'. Me and Atouille are going to rewatch some episodes of that british show with the blue police box."
"Oh, the one where the main character looks like you a little bit?"
"Yup," grinned Crowley, "they should have made him ginger, now that would be a sight."
"True," chuckled Aziraphale and then they headed out with Bruce by foot to the place where all the knitting was supposed to happen - apparently it was only a fifteen minutes by foot so no vehicles were necessary.
Crowley locked the door behind the duo and then spread his wings and flew on the first floor. There he looked out of the window to make sure that his angel was slowly moving away from the bookshop and went to change to his tartan pyjamas.
At first he was truly against wearing the thing but… it was not his fault that they were so damn comfortable! After trying it a couple of times he really didn't want to go back to what he had worn before as sleeping wear.
But of course he did his best to keep his appearances and grumble about the pyjamas in front of Aziraphale (though he was pretty sure the angel knew how he had fallen in love with them but kept indulging Crowley).
Now, he and Attouile made themselves comfortable on the couch and put on the adventures through time and space.
Bruce didn't know what to expect when he was led to the backroom of a small occult shop and waved at by a young man behind the counter who Aziraphale said was 'Gytha's grandson', but six enthusiastic grandmas that gathered around Bruce and Aziraphale when they entered was not it.
"Aziraphale! This must be your friend that wants to join our little gatherings," said a small, dumpy old woman with a big smile and face like a friendly raisin. In one hand she was holding a tankard of beer and the other took Bruce's unsuspecting hand and shook it mightily, "nice to meet you, young man, I am Gyta Fogg."
"Uhm, Bruce, nice to meet you Mrs. Fogg," said Bruce.
"None of that, call me Gytha. I own this little shop selling all kinds of things for witches and wizards and people interested in the occult elements of the world, so if you need something like that or you need to curse someone just come to me and we'll sort it out."
"Thank you?"
"Yes, that is Gytha," chuckled Aziraphale and introduced the rest of the group. There was Elena Alegretti who had a small italian café next to the bookshop, Lisbeth Maxwell who used to be a teacher but now was retired and spent her free time by attending various hobbies, courses and lessons (where she didn't hesitate to criticize the instructor when they didn't meet her teaching standard), Petra Novák whose family had a small brewery and apparently supplied the knitting club with beer, Nina Brooke who was also retired but was now considering opening a small shop with knitting supplies and Beate Müller who had a grocery shop.
The first question Bruce got was if he did manage to prepare any dish. Bruce blinked and pulled out his Kambodjian Fish Amok earning himself several oohs and aahs and with that he seemed to be immediately accepted into their little group.
"This time we did not experiment and prepared some of our favourite dishes for you to try," said Elena Alegretti and led Bruce to the table laden with food and knitting.
She continued, "I made some pasta - here try this ravioli, Lisbeth made her elevated hamburgers - she loves making burgers, Petra brought her perfected svíčková with dumplings, Gytha made this fantastic cheese platters, Beate brought her amazing pickled roast beef and Nina made here glorious tiramisu. Aziraphale, what did you bring? And how is your young man? You really should feed him more, poor little scrawny dear."
"I brought sushi!" beamed the blonde bookseller which prompted the chorus of cheers in the circle, it seemed that it was something that Aziraphale introduced to the group and they still enthusiastically explored. "And Crowley is well, now probably lounging on a couch in his pyjamas and watching tv. And I assure you - as always - that he is eating enough, he is just not one of those beings that can gain weight."
Several ladies shook their heads signaling that this conversation will be repeated at the next meeting again. Then they turned to Bruce waiting for him to inspect the food they showed him.
Bruce said, "I… thank you, but how did you know to make your favourites for me? I only knew I'd be coming here two days ago."
Lisbeth laughed, "Our grapevine works fast. And should that fail, Aziraphale sends us messages if there are any pressing news."
"Messages?" Bruce asked and half expected for all of them also to take out brand new Stark Phones and show him their emoji conversations. Was there a knitting emoji?
"Oh yes, he sends us messages with that cute little rat of his, very smart fluffy fellow," answered Lisbeth followed by several nods from the others.
Then they all sat down and Bruce's first knitting lesson, consisting of food, conversation, more food, and also some knitting, started.
When Bruce returned to the tower he had a big bag of food with him because the ladies and Aziraphale insisted that he also took some of the leftovers home - everyone always did and he was now considered one of them (and wasn't that a nice feeling!).
He found out the Avengers in the common room playing a board game. (Tony seemed to have amassed a big pile of tokens.)
Both Thor's and Steve's head zoomed on the bag in his hand, "You brought food, friend Bruce?" boomed Thor.
Bruce was glad to share though perhaps in the future there might be a time when he first stops in his room to put away some delicious things away first, and started telling them about his evening - he then told all about the ladies but almost nothing about Aziraphale, not even his unusual name wanting to protect his new friend.
"So, what are you working on?" asked Natasha.
Bruce pulled out the beginnings of the green scarf - only two or three finished rows because he had spent quite some time learning different techniques before picking one for this project, "A green scarf."
"Ohhh, dibs on red and gold scarf as your next!" the inventor managed to say first.
"Wait, no, do purple!" yelled the resident archer.
"Black is a nice colour," pointed out Natasha.
"I think I would look the most fetching in a yellow scarf," said Thor who was finishing the last burger from the bag.
"Uhm, blue?" said Steve who didn't want to be left out.
"Guys, guys," laughed Bruce, "I'm going to spend weeks - probably months because it's going to be Hulk's scarf - on this."
They all nodded but it didn't seem to deter them looking expectantly at him.
Bruce folded, "Okay, but don't expect anything good because-"
They didn't let him finish and Tony first tackled him into a hug mumbling something about his favourite Science Bro shortly followed by others, creating a big Avenger cuddle pile.
Bruce sighed happily, not only Hulk was similarly content as if in Aziraphale's presence, but this was his family now, and he wouldn't change it for the world.
Aziraphale returned home and found his beloved sleeping on the couch, tightly holding the tiny Bentley in his hand.
He smiled, put away the food and went to change himself into the pyjamas as well. Then very gently lifted the demon and carried him into their bed slowly maneuvering him so they could sleep and cuddle there.
Crowley sort-of-asleep hugged him close and said, "H'w w's it?"
"It was great, I think Bruce will be a great addition to our group. How was your evening?"
"G'd, the d'ctor ran 'lot."
"Yes, he does that."
"'h, 'nd I ch'nged into t'rtan l'ke f've m'nutes b'fore you came."
"Of course you did, dear," chuckled Aziraphale and cuddled his serpent closer.
Bruce was quite happy. The last two months he was going to the knitting group every week (though he still wasn't even half finished with the enormous scarf) and became friends with the ladies there and also with Aziraphale and Crowley (and Atouille).
Now they were walking from the latest session back to Aziraphale's bookshop as Bruce didn't want the nice man to be walking alone on the streets at this time of the night.
They were chatting about Lisbeth's latest dish and quite close to the bookshop when it happened.
A van stopped next to them and several masked men quickly got out pointing guns at them.
Before Bruce could go green though, one of them shot a weird dart at him which buried itself in his chest. The Avenger ignored it and continued with the transformation wanting to protect his friend - his anonymity be damned, but before he even could start changing his body, an excruciating pain shot through him and both him and Hulk in his mind moaned in pain.
Bruce fell to his knees with closed eyes and only when they both stopped the transformation the most of the pain ceased.
"Oh, don't bother, Doctor Banner, we developed a special serum which doesn't allow you to transform, well to be more precise, if you did you would pass out from pain. Slick, huh?"
This enraged Hulk and a new wave of transformation tried to take place - ending with a new wave of pain.
Bruce now regretted that he refused Tony's security bracelet that would let him send an alarm and his position to the other Avengers with a simple press of a button (I don't need that, Tony, I have a Hulk.). The only way he could contact the others would be with the phone he had in his pocket but he doubted that the bad guys would let him do that.
As he tried to take a deep breath he heard a series of dull thumps around him and then silence.
Bruce opened his eyes only to find out… the villains laying and groaning on the ground and Aziraphale fixing his bow tie with a frown. The bookseller turned to Bruce and asked with concern, "Are you alright, my boy?"
"What… how did you..."
"Oh, I used to be in the army… well, it's been quite a long time since I was on active duty but I still seem to remember some moves," smiled Aziraphale shyly, proud of himself.
Bruce blinked and looked at the nine fallen baddies. Then blinked again and took Aziraphale's offered hand that helped him back up, though he had to stay leaning on the blond to remain upright.
'SOFT MAN BEST!'
Then they heard someone running and Bruce saw both Crowley and Atouille hurriedly racing to them. The redhead was dressed only in tartan pyjamas and a black dressing gown (still had his sunglasses though even at this time of the night). And what was an embroidered writing on the pyjamas? 'MY DEMON, MY TARTAN'? This night was getting weirder and weirder.
"Angel, are you alright? One of Atouille's rats came running that you've been attacked! I was so worried I've called for help - on my way I sent a message to Tony."
Bruce wondered who Tony was - was it someone at the police or someone from the local mafia to punish the guys and dispose of the bodies? But whoever that was, it reminded Bruce that he should get a message about this to his Tony.
"Bruce was shot with something, but otherwise we're fine."
"Not so quick," suddenly said one of the masked men who seemed to have regained enough energy to get into a sitting position and grab his gun again.
Several things happened at once. Crowley did his best to shield Aziraphale with his body, Aziraphale who Bruce was still leaning on tried to put Crowley behind him and who knew how it would all end up if Atouille didn't run to the bad guy and bite him in a very private place.
"Great work, Atouille!" said Crowley and started going around, taking guns from the bad guys' vicinities and tying them up with their belts. "Aziraphale, I told you to make sure that the enemy stays down, this is like that defenestration all over again."
"You're right, dear, I forgot, it's been some time."
"Defenestration?"
"Oh yes," said Azirapha, "I had a disagreement with a group of people and I was not paying attention to one fallen foe - and he attempted to throw me out of the window. It didn't go as he had planned though and Crowley then defenestrated him with a much different result."
Before Bruce could ask for more details, Iron Man landed down next to them and the faceplate revealed Tony's face, "What the hell happened here?!"
Bruce didn't manage to call Tony yet, which meant… "You know Tony?" he asked Aziraphale and Crowley.
"Oh yeah, he's a friend," said Crowley simply.
"Wait, you know Bruce?!" said Tony.
"Oh yes, he is our friend as well," smiled Aziraphale mischievously.
"Wait," said Bruce, "did you… did you know who I was?"
Crowley nodded, "Yeah, I do now often google people after I meet them," he sent a small glare at Tony who grinned, "but we wanted to give you time to tell us."
Bruce opened his mouth but nothing came out, so he closed it, and then he opened it again, "But… but you… you don't mind?! And you let me in the same room with six old innocent ladies?"
Crowley snorted, "Oh, I would not call them innocent," and was softly elbowed by his partner.
"Of course we don't mind, dear, you're our friend and we trust you. And I'm pretty sure that the ladies gradually found out as well. Do you remember that after two weeks Gytha Fogg started mixing those green non-alcoholic cocktails for you? And when Beate brought that half of a roasted boar and insisted that you take most of it home? (That was a very merry night at the tower, Thor made a speech about how long he didn't have such a good boar.) We would like to meet your green friend some time though, he must be lonely there," said Aziraphale and Crowley nodded.
Bruce felt very moved and had a feeling that Hulk is moved as well, "Thank you," he said softly.
'BOTH SOFT MAN AND SNAKE MAN BEST!'
Tony was very happy for his Science Bro, but asked,"And why didn't you tell me?"
"Well, we do have doubts about your secret keeping abilities, Mr. I-am-Iron-Man," shrugged Crowley.
"How dare you to have such a valid argument!" said Tony and theatrically held his chest, "And what happened here?"
Bruce recounted what happened and watched Tony to frown which wasn't surprising and to look at the tied up nine with Atouille standing on one of the heads. The inventor then said, "A SI car is on its way, it will take you back to the tower, Brucie Bear, I'll wait here with our trussed up turkeys for SHIELD. And I think you guys should go home, no need for you to be bothered by agents as well, we'll try to leave you out of it."
Bruce sighed with relief, apparently Tony was the same mind as him even if he might not know that Aziraphale was special. But then he realized that he will have to go alone in the car just with some unknown SI driver and wished that they could go with him even if it would not be wise.
The same thought dawned on the others as well and Aziraphale and Crowley started some kind of weird eye communication even if Crowley's eyes couldn't be seen from behind the sunglasses (though Bruce had to admit, the redhead had very impressive eyebrows).
Atouille once again came to the rescue when he ran to Bruce, quickly climbed him and sat on his shoulder, "Squeak."
Crowley translated smiling, "Atouille says that he will accompany you and protect you on the way,"
'SOFT MAN AND SNAKE MAN AND ATOUILLE BEST!' sounded Hulk and Bruce smiled happily, patting Atouille's red head with thanks.
As Tony looked from the leaving SI car, over the still glaring bad guys on the ground, to the duo holding hands on their way to the bookshop, he wondered why when he had remarked to Crowley 'nice pyjamas', the redhead had both smiled and scowled at him and said that the pyjamas were 'entirely his fault'.