Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.
A/N: Thanks to every one who left a review and read the last chapter, it means the world to me. I'm sorry I've been gone a few weeks but that's what happens when you fall in love with a new show but I'm back and enjoy this new one.
As promised, Kim showed up the following morning on shift and Jenn helped her get an appointment with one of the OB's that Dr Henry recommended after checking her out, making sure she was okay. She worked through shift on autopilot, her mind on the baby growing inside of her. She found herself at the nurse's station, filling paperwork when she heard the cries. The baby was barely older than a month and was crying its lungs out. She zoned out, not able to take her eyes off the baby as the ER doctor looked her over.
"What are you thinking about?" Jenn placed a hand on Kim's shoulder.
"Trying to figure out what to decide." She looked at her with honesty in her eyes.
"Honey, you'll never get a clear thought in this chaos."
"I know it's just a lot."
"How about you start by getting a first appointment with the doctor and then see how it makes you feel."
"Dr Granger fit me in between two patients later after shift."
"I'll come with you."
"Thanks." Kim sighed. She needed to get her head into the game and get her shift done first. She was happy not to have gotten any morning sickness and hopped that she could avoid it until she made her decision. The long day had unexpectedly tired her out and she was quick to change into her street clothes before heading upstairs with Jenn for her appointment with Dr Granger.
"It's going to be okay Kim." Jenn put a reassuring hand on Kim's knee as they waited for her name to be called.
"Kim Burgess." An older nurse that she knew as Kathy smiled at her.
"Wish me luck." Kim takes a deep breath and stands. Jenn squeezes her hand and lets her go.
"You've got this." Kim nodded and gave her a smile before disappearing behind the door. Her hands were sweaty, and she could feel her heart in her throat but when Kathy asked her if daddy would join them, Kim felt like the desert had taken root in her mouth and she found it hard to swallow.
"No." She finally managed to choke out.
"Alright, I'll just go ahead and draw some blood and Dr. Granger will be with you to talk." She knew enough about the maternity department to get a sense of what that discussion would be like. She nodded and let Kathy draw her blood before returning to the small section of the office where Dr. Granger's desk was sitting against the back wall.
"Kim Burgess." He walked into his office and smiled at her. "Dr. Henry told me a bit about you, said you work the ED as a nurse practitioner."
"That's right." She nodded. "I haven't been here too long though, starting a two-year contract."
"Welcome to Chandler." He smiled at her.
"Thanks." So now that this was out of the way, Dr Granger started asking her questions about herself, last period, how long she thought she was pregnant. It ultimately became awkward when Kim was asked about the father.
"I don't know." She looked down at her hands that were sitting on her lap. "I wasn't planning for any of this to happen, certainly not in these circumstances and I'm not sure what to do just yet."
"I'm not here to make any judgements Mrs. Burgess."
"Kim is fine." She smiled shyly.
"I know that you're facing a life altering decision Kim, but our goal, if you do decide to keep this baby, is to deliver a healthy one." Kim nodded. "So, today, I'm going to do a first physical exam and we'll see if we can hear the baby's heart."
"You can hear it this early?" Kim was surprised by it.
"Sometimes. I make no promises but if we're lucky, we can." Kim followed the doctor to the exam table where Kathy had drawn her blood. Kim lied down on the table and went through the motions as the doctor palpated her stomach and checked her uterus, deeming everything normal. "Let's take a listen, shall we?" Dr Granger smiled at Kim when she pulled her t-shirt up and closed her eyes, taking a deep breathe through her nose. Her heart was thundering in her chest out of fear of so many things. It took a while and some pushing on her stomach with the small microphone but when it started making a swooshing sound, Kim's eyes flew open. A lone tear made it down her right cheek and suddenly it was real. She was pregnant by a man she didn't know, who didn't know that she was pregnant with his child, who had no say in the decision she had to make, that she didn't know how to even make.
"Is it normal that it's going that fast?" She knew that information, her own medical training a testament to it but her fears and doubts were speaking knowledge than her head.
"A baby's heart rate is between 110 to 160 beats per minutes so it's beating strongly."
"Ok." She rolled her shirt down. "So, what happens now?" She questioned, too many things going through her head.
"I will give you some leaflets about the options you have in front of you, and I'd like to see you in a few weeks, to see where your head is at." Kim followed him back to his desk. I would like you to keep in mind though that if you decide to terminate this pregnancy, there is a timeframe you need to keep in mind." He handed her a bunch of things for her to read. "If you need any questions, don't hesitate to ask Kathy to page me, I'll be happy to help you."
"Thank you, Dr. Granger." Kim stood as the OB did, showing her through the door and back to Jenn who was waiting by the nurse's station not so patiently
"Kim." She went to meet her as she walked out. "How did it go?"
"Is it okay if we talk at my place."
"Sure." Jenn ran her hands up and down Kim's arms, seeing the distress in her eyes. "I'll stop by and bring the food."
"Thanks. They walked out of the door and parted ways, Kim going back to her place.
The ride was dead quiet as Kim's mind refused to quiet down with options and will she, won't she scenarios. She plopped down in her couch as soon as she made it home, the leaflets sitting her feet, her knees risen against her chest. Her eyes were trained on the leaflets, but she had yet to touch any of them. She couldn't bring herself to go through them now, too stunned by hearing her baby's heartbeat. Her only thought was that she would tackle it in the morning when she had rested enough and had a full day off to mull it over. Jenn arrived about twenty minutes later with food from their favourite Italian restaurant a few blocks from Kim's place and they talked, Jenn making Kim ask herself some difficult questions.
Adam stumbled into his place at around two in the morning. They had been chasing bad guys all day and he was done with all of it. He needed a shower to get the grime and blood off his face and a few good hours of sleep to give his tired muscles a break. Voight had given them the day off after a grueling case and he was thankful for that. He grabbed himself a beer out of his fridge and found a random something to watch while he relaxed a bit. He tried to put the case out of his head, concentrate on what he was watching but it was no use. She invaded his head whenever she had the chance. He knew that wasn't a good thing because he knew she wasn't in Chicago; she had told him so the night they had spent together, and he hadn't stumbled on her in the streets since then, so he knew what she had told him was the truth. It also hadn't stopped his partner Kevin from poking fun at him and claiming he needed to hook up with some honeys. He took another couple of beers while she tormented his mind before turning in for the night.
Kim sat against her headboard later that night, the leaflets around her. She read through them all again, trying to make sense of it all. She ran her fingers absentmindedly over her flat abdomen and her mind went to him. His light brown hair, deep chestnut eyes, his smile. The muscles of his back had felt good under her fingers and the way he looked at her had given her all kinds of feelings. His touch had been gentle, his eyes giving her body shivers, yet now, she wondered what kind of man he was and what her baby would look like if she decided to keep it. Would it have his rich eye colour of her lighter ones, his smile or maybe her nose. It was all overwhelming and then her head brought her back to the doctor's office. She had feared the judgement she received from him at the knowledge that she didn't know who the father was, scared of what she would feel when she heard the thumping of her baby's heart, making it all very real. Now all she could hear was that exact heartbeat. It was quick and loud, and it was beautiful. It was a life she had created with someone and no matter how little she knew about him; it had been deliberate and consensual and that couldn't be a bad thing. In that moment, she came to the realization that she couldn't get rid of this baby, that she wanted to keep it. She knew it wouldn't be easy, being a single mother, but she knew in her heart that keeping it was the only choice she could live with. She didn't know if she would ever see him again, if he would ever find out that he was a father, but she was going to love this baby with all her heart and give it the best life she could.
A/N: So Kim finally makes her decision to keep the baby even though she knows the road to motherhood won't be easy. I hope you guys really liked it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, I always love to read your thoughts. - Sarra